GUILTY CA - Ellorah Warner, 3 wks, Santa Clarita, 23 Jan 2015

[kaen]

According to msm MW had left the house by the time deputies showed up. The grandmother told them she didn't think Ellorah was in any danger so the deputies left. It's not clear if she was aware that when MW left he had Ellorah with him - neighbors reported seeing him leaving the house with a "bundle" but we don't yet have a timeline other than she called 911 around 5:30.

The odd thing to me is that she heard the weak cry, the phone line was cut, the breast milk was unused BUT she did not think the baby was in danger. Then, conversations happen for hours after the baby is missing? I agree with many who think something is not quite right here.

 

[matou]

The reporter Lazar seems to think that MW only has arrest records for 2014 and hasn't spent more than 10 days in jail. However, reading the first few posts of his profile pic mentions "getting out" and complaining that a friend stopped writing to him. This was in Aug 2013. So either he was in the military or in jail. JMO Still looking for evidence of arrest records from 2013 that were fairly serious.

 

[matou]

Why wouldn't the gm call her daughter to tell her about her man's erratic behaviour? I'm sure both of them knew about his prior drug and meth use. SMH....

 

[kimi_SFC]

I hate that we are here again. The role of meth in this dynamic takes the DV/IPV to an entirely different and much more dangerous realm.

All of your posts are spot on. I find it hard to believe that the drug use could have gone completely unnoticed (because of the smell). It sounds like she was home. The authorities responding was their (grandmom and Baby Ellorah's) best chance) at escape.

Upthread, it was mentioned that MW had broken a window to their apartment in the past when they tried to lock him out. The propensity for violence was known.

This entire family unit was gripped in the cycle if violence. Make no mistake. It hurts to know now that grandmom honestly believed she could handle the situation. She wasn't physically capable of taking MW on - I believe he would not have hesitated to hurt her while under the influence. :moo:

IMO, he viewed Ellorah as his possession. She was HIS. There's no way he would have allowed LE or CPS to take her. Perhaps she was trying to prevent that confrontation from occurring at that moment, knowing Baby Ellorah's custody was at stake.

It was a legitimate fear that I can honestly understand. Considering the alternative we are left with at this moment - Ellorah's vigil this evening - I have no doubt that she is replaying every decision she's made. TW is as well. A lifetime of guilt and regret will never bring this precious nineteen day old BabyGirl back to her Mom and Grand Mom.

This is the epitome of tragic consequences and heartbreak. :tears:

:rose:


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[GinaSeikwa]

According to msm MW had left the house by the time deputies showed up. The grandmother told them she didn't think Ellorah was in any danger so the deputies left. It's not clear if she was aware that when MW left he had Ellorah with him - neighbors reported seeing him leaving the house with a "bundle" but we don't yet have a timeline other than she called 911 around 5:30.

Wow that's shocking. Talk about a missed opportunity.
So the deputies didn't even examine the room that they were staying in to see if anything looked suspicious.

How did MW leave? By car? On foot? Did he take a stroller? Was it usual for him to go on random walks holding his newborn in his arms? Why didn't they canvas the neighbourhood for him. You would think if the grandma called 911 about erratic behaviour and there was a newborn involved they would be a little more diligent about making sure that said newborn was alright.

 

[kaen]

The reporter Lazar seems to think that MW only has arrest records for 2014 and hasn't spent more than 10 days in jail. However, reading the first few posts of his profile pic mentions "getting out" and complaining that a friend stopped writing to him. This was in Aug 2013. So either he was in the military or in jail. JMO Still looking for evidence of arrest records from 2013 that were fairly serious.

Or, he was in rehab.

 

[GinaSeikwa]

If she wasn't sure if MW had left with her why didn't she check the room????

 

[matou]

Or, he was in rehab.

True. Whatever it was, both parents were together at the time.

 

[True North]

I think Ellorah was already passed when cops were called the first time anyway. But, I think they really dropped the ball. I would hope that anytime a call is placed saying someone isn't acting right and the police come out, when they discover that person has left and taken a child of any age with them, that they would make locating that person and ensuring the child's safety, a priority. Especially when that person has recently been in jail.

 

[MsMarple]

So far the grandmother has given several interviews to msm and the overall impression I've gotten from them is that she called 911 because she wanted MW out of the house due to his odd behavior, not because she was afraid he'd do something bad to Ellorah. It's hard for me to understand her lack of connection between the two.

If my daughter's nogoodnik boyfriend was violent/controlling/abusive I'd be shouting it out to anyone who'd listen, including LE. At the very least it keeps the blame for Ellorah's death squarely where it belongs - on MW - and at the same time it emphasizes that my daughter is also a victim.

OTOH, the woman may be in denial, which is understandable, and may view Ellorah's death as a natural one. Plus, msm prints what it wants so who knows what else she's said. I dunno.

Or, as kimi_SFC points out, both women could have been living in fear of MW. That might keep them both silent even to LE, especially since he's gotten out of jail so quickly this past year. The thought of him getting out and "punishing" them would be terrifying.

 

[MsMarple]

The reporter Lazar seems to think that MW only has arrest records for 2014 and hasn't spent more than 10 days in jail. However, reading the first few posts of his profile pic mentions "getting out" and complaining that a friend stopped writing to him. This was in Aug 2013. So either he was in the military or in jail. JMO Still looking for evidence of arrest records from 2013 that were fairly serious.

It's a little vague - the article said: "Following his release from prison he was arrested 3 times in 2014..." so I guess that means he had been in prison prior, i.e. 2013? The reporter didn't mention when and what for though.

 

[borndem]

I am not sure that mom works at an actual "daycare". I noticed a comment on the dad's FB from mom, where she mentioned "the house where I babysit". Sounds like it might be more of a babysitter or nanny type situation, not a daycare business. JMO

Private baby care in someone's household makes much more sense, I agree. The Family Medical Leave Act provides for a parent to take 12 weeks (paid or unpaid -- whatever is company policy) leave for care & bonding of a new baby (either parent, or both having 6 wks off each); either a parent or the main caregiver for a child born to or adopted by or fostered by a parent or "caregiver." This is federal law in businesses which employ 50 persons or more -- I think I've got that right, but it's not a promise, it's the way I've read & heard about this Act.

So Mom may well have been simply giving care to a child(ren) in someone's home or in a small daycare establishment. A private home would make more sense -- Mom's saying she'll be back asap and the parent(s) saying they will try their best to make it easy for her or some variation... The parent(s) needed her & she needed the money... Daddy would be home with Mom's newborn each day only for a few hours. Just my o.

 

[katydid23]

If she thought her mom was overseeing the baby's care also, she would probably be comfortable that nothing bad would happen. I just wish she would have been able to grab that baby when she first heard the ruckus. he must have been very aggressive to prevent that. I know my first instincts would have been to get to the baby at that point, when seeing the full bottles and the disconnected phone line. This whole thing is so sad.

 

[borndem]

My speculation is that when the mom came home from work the talk was centered on him saying the baby was safe and her pleading to get the baby back rather than him admitting that she was missing. And, I think the grandmother was keeping out of the conversation as she was part of his frustration and why he said he left with the baby earlier. I imagine that as time went on he started to describe that the baby was taken from him possibly due to illicit activity like drug purchasing. The mom was probably trying to get information without further making him mad and never finding her daughter. The travel to the police station was most likely a way give him a chance to control the story, even though the mom knew that there might be something else going on. Certainly the grandmother knew something was very amiss.

I also speculate that the mom and grandmother knew he was doing drugs again.

If he is a controlling man, I would guess that he has asserted his power this way before and the two women had seen it at play.

Hmmmm, kaen, good point. By both of them going to the police, it would 1) keep the police out of the home, and 2) Be in control of what was said -- "I'll do all the talking -- you, keep your mouth shut." Total control. Even if the baby's death was natural or accidental, he would prolly want control of the scene. Hmmmm.

bbm

 

[newone]

Hmmmm, kaen, good point. By both of them going to the police, it would 1) keep the police out of the home, and 2) Be in control of what was said -- "I'll do all the talking -- you, keep your mouth shut." Total control. Even if the baby's death was natural or accidental, he would prolly want control of the scene. Hmmmm.

bbm

the walk would provide an opportunity for someone to clean up the house too ((MOO)) and guess on my part....

 

[Teche]

Did grandma actually see the baby at all that day? I take it that they lived in a 2 bedroom apartment. At this age, infants need numerous diaper changes, feedings, and changes of clothes. I know grandma will live with regrets.
I know that a door or a baby daddy could not stop me.

 

[kimi_SFC]

Hmmmm, kaen, good point. By both of them going to the police, it would 1) keep the police out of the home, and 2) Be in control of what was said -- "I'll do all the talking -- you, keep your mouth shut." Total control. Even if the baby's death was natural or accidental, he would prolly want control of the scene. Hmmmm.

bbm

RUBM

YES, this to the Nth degree. I envision this playing out, especially if he was high on meth

Everyone was in survival mode (except, sadly, Baby Ellorah...).

The deed was already done. He knows he has two strikes and is facing life in prison. She does too. So consider this: she's GOT to get him to the SCVSS! If he runs, the risk, in her mind, escalates. He has her convinced, apparently, that her baby is missing. Faced with him fleeing, knowing what he's capable of, she likely didn't want to think of what would happen if he got away - knowing he'd come back for her and her mom!

Looking at it from this perspective, it's amazing that she got him to walk through those doors to face the deputies.

I'm still trying to factor in how the other couple played into all of this. Perhaps they helped her to convince him to go in. At this juncture, I'm thankful he is in custody. It allowed him to be interrogated, and for him to admit what he did. The thought of Baby Ellorah in that truck for a second longer than she already was makes me ill.

:moo:

:rose:



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[borndem]

borndem, your post had me in tears all over again. My word, it has been brutal since Thanksgiving or so, hasn't it? I was born on TG a Day, and it just seems like we've had SO many children go missing or murdered since then. Each one takes a piece of your soul that you never get back. I try to tell myself that at least that part of me is in Heaven with the angels, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. :no:

I agree with my fellow WSer, January 5th will always be your and Baby Ellorah's special day - your "BornDay" - as my girls used to say before they could enunciate birthday as little ones. I will forever memorialize the day in her (and now your) honor, because of its proximity to my daughter's. As a family, we decided today that she deserves flowers in the ocean in remembrance, and if we can afford it, maybe we can do so from a boat on The Bay on her 1st Birthday.

It's truly amazing how one little girl can change the world. I hope that people never, ever forget her.

I know she's forever changed our lives, and will live on in the hearts of those who post here on this thread, and beyond.

So, it's only fitting that you honor Ellorah Rose on your shared BornDay because you can. My faith allows me to believe she will be smiling down upon you when you do.

:grouphug:

:candle:




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Thanks, kimi -- I only know 3 other people with my bornday, and now little Ellorah will be the third. I most certainly will always remember her for that special bond, and I will certainly honor her on the day we share. Oh, that pretty, pretty child. Who knows what gifts she may have been given -- art, singing, dancing, writing, leading -- but she instead has given those who knew her so many gifts in her short time on this earth. Hug your children, everyone.

 

[borndem]

This resonates. Towards the end, my ex did not allow me to have the car seat when I was home alone with our daughter - after a failed attempt to leave. This evolved to taking the stroller as well.

You have NO idea the lengths an IPV/DV abuser will go to maintain power and control until you experience it first hand - then it happens. You find yourself doing anything and everything to keep the peace and maintain appearances.

His family didn't believe me. I hid it from mine. Until I called 911 when the physical violence spilled over. I can't imagine trying to hold this all together living with Ellorah's maternal grandmother.

That was no doubt a catalyst to this entire situation. No blame here - there's NO grandparent in this world who will sit idly by as this dynamic plays out in their presence - to their daughter and grandchild.

No way. No how.

I see how this was a powder keg with an incredibly short fuse.




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I would think the grandmother's life might have been in danger, too, assuming the death was a homicide.

 

[newone]

Did grandma actually see the baby at all that day? I take it that they lived in a 2 bedroom apartment. At this age, infants need numerous diaper changes, feedings, and changes of clothes. I know grandma will live with regrets.
I know that a door or a baby daddy could not stop me.

Wouldn't gramma just want to spend time with baby at all -- just to snuggle and cuddle and smootch -- there's nothing more adorable than a brand new baby -- I am surprised that she didn't want to just spend some quality time with her granddaughter.

At some time during the day, I would think, it could have been ok for gramma to say -- ''hey could I have a turn!"....jmo...

Perhaps Grandmother is employed or had other plans for her day, I don't know, but I would have to have snuggle time with grandbaby, if I were in her spot ((MOO)) or even just offering to feed baby so dad could have a break ((more than one way to sell that idea to him - ))