CA CA - Ember Graham, 7 mos, Happy Valley, 2 July 2015 - #2

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  • #921
Wow, what news to wake up to this morning!

While we wait for more information, I noticed a mention overnight sometime about being surprised there was no "vigilante justice" going on. (sorry, the thread moved so fast I lost the quote to the original post). I thought this might be of interest: http://www.redding.com/news/graham-seen-in-shasta-lake-in-second-day-of-manhunt_83578281. Key point BBM. I was glad to finally see this in MSM so it could be mentioned here.

Many took to social media — the search dominated local Facebook crime groups. The Facebook group “Find Baby Ember,” which has more than 4,800 likes, started as an attempt to aggregate news and efforts to search for Ember. Its administrators urged commenters to focus on finding Ember, not assigning blame.

It warned Sunday that someone was encouraging the public turn vigilante against Graham.

“We received a Craigslist posting earlier that stated ‘everyone go get your guns and find Matthew.’ It frightened us to think of the vigilante mindset,” a post by the group’s administrators read. “ ... We have to find Matthew in order to find Baby Ember.”


ETA: as much as it sucks for the deputies involved, I was kind of relieved to read that it was a deputy involved situation and not any of these "vigilantes."

Thank you, NikB!

I posted commenting on the possibility (or lack of) vigilantes searching for MG...

I, too, am glad this was thwarted....

enough people have been hurt...

JMO
 
  • #922
In places where marijuana is legal, the views are different. It is possible that they didn't consider his pot-smoking a "problem" and many wouldn't consider it a dangerous addiction.

There is a difference between the occasional use of mj and addiction. MG doesn't fall into the responsible user. Additionally, alcohol is legal. it doesn't mean children don't get removed from homes where people abuse alcohol, pt, or other drugs.

I know people who have had their children removed due to chronic pot use. Their inability to recover caused them to lose their parental rights. It happens and just because peoples attitudes towards mj use are changing, doesn't make the possibility of abusing it nil, and doesn't mean everyone uses responsibly.

Anyone who didn't consider MG's use a problem was in denial.
 
  • #923
Respectfully, I think the "conditions" were due to MG's use of drugs. Somebody other than himself was paying for his gas and cigs and food and were allowing him to stay there. CPS, when alerted, does remove infants from homes with unsanitary conditions. The key is that they have to be notified.

JMO

The child technically wasn't even living there with him yet so a call to CPS wouldn't have resulted in any action. CPS is limited on what it is they can do in these situations. The fact remains that we don't know what MG's parents did or didn't do or what they knew or didn't know about his living situation or even that Ember was going to be living with him.
 
  • #924
LE described the living situation and the media has reported on it.

Matthew was keeping Ember in an approximate 25 foot camp trailer on the Noosha Ln property. The trailer has no running water or working bathroom. The sewage from the main residence flows into a cesspool and the property is covered in garbage and old vehicles. The property is cross fenced and you have to go through two gates and guard dogs that will bark and confront strangers. The trailer door leading to Ember’s playpen where Matthew said she was sleeping has a broken door handle mechanism and needs to be opened with a screwdriver or similar tool. You would also need to have some knowledge on how to operate the door. Crime scene technicians found the door to be difficult to open and close as it did not fit in the frame well and made noise opening and closing. According to Matthew, Ember would cry within 10 seconds of being picked up by a stranger.

http://www.redding.com/news/local-news/dads-inconsistencies-revealed

Since most of that is descriptive of the OUTSIDE of the property and since Ember wouldn't have been running around outside, I am guessing that CPS would not necessarily have removed her from that home. I am not an "expert" but I do have some knowledge of the guidelines. You will just need to take my word for that.

Even with no running water or working bathroom, it may not have been an issue as long as they had close access to those facilities elsewhere (in the other house, for example). For that matter, do we know that CPS wasn't called and didn't find cause to remove her?
 
  • #925
I agree. I think he coerced her to give him the baby that night. " if you want her , come back with me'' or something. Maybe she just let him take her briefly and then he would not bring her back. I don't know the answers but she's a very young girl and blameless. She's so unprepared for these kinds of horrible life events. She needs support and not cricitism.

I agree. I think she's a battered woman.

JMO
 
  • #926
According to Matthew, Ember would cry within 10 seconds of being picked up by a stranger.

You know, that seems like a strange (and dumb) comment for someone to make when they're claiming someone came in and took their child - unless he was trying to point the finger at someone known to the child.
 
  • #927
In fairness, MG's mother lives in Florida and his father lives in Nevada so they may or may not have known how MG was living until they actually saw the property. JG's family is local I think but both JG and MG are legal adults and no amount of begging or fighting was going to stop JG from moving into that hell hole with Ember.

This is pure speculation and hunches on my part but on the last thread someone questioned why it was taking JG so long to pack up the night before. They pointed out that the trailer was 25 feet and so it was unlikely she was bringing any large items. My thought was that she may have been fighting with her parents over the move and she left Ember with MG as a kind of power play. It also occured to me that her parents may have even threatened to call CPS or something, which may have planted some sort of angry seed in MG's whacked out brain.

Again, it's all just speculation. But given the animosity between the two families I suspect there is, like Cubby said, a whole back story to this situation. In the meantime I'm just gonna have to wait and see if either family speaks to msm.

Thanks for reminding me about MG's mother not being in the same state. :)
 
  • #928
In fairness, MG's mother lives in Florida and his father lives in Nevada so they may or may not have known how MG was living until they actually saw the property. JG's family is local I think but both JG and MG are legal adults and no amount of begging or fighting was going to stop JG from moving into that hell hole with Ember.

This is pure speculation and hunches on my part but on the last thread someone questioned why it was taking JG so long to pack up the night before. They pointed out that the trailer was 25 feet and so it was unlikely she was bringing any large items. My thought was that she may have been fighting with her parents over the move and she left Ember with MG as a kind of power play. It also occured to me that her parents may have even threatened to call CPS or something, which may have planted some sort of angry seed in MG's whacked out brain.

Again, it's all just speculation. But given the animosity between the two families I suspect there is, like Cubby said, a whole back story to this situation. In the meantime I'm just gonna have to wait and see if either family speaks to msm.

His family has spoken to msm and his dad had an excuse for everything. I'm not sure how his parents could not know the conditions he was living in because he lived with his cousin and drove his aunt's truck.

She was reported missing from her crib at a home on Noosha Lane in Happy Valley that Matthew Graham shares with a cousin, James Russell, and Russell’s fiancée, Sara Chabino.

http://www.redding.com/news/local-n...after-he-is-named-person-of-interest_39675052
 
  • #929
This is such a tragedy on so many levels.

Due to MG no longer being able to provide information, questions remain.

The two at the top of my list are:
1) where's baby Ember?
2) did the neighbor's GF lie about seeing her?

I think the neighbor's know something even if it is only that they may share the druggie lifestyle and would cover for him.
 
  • #930
I agree. I think she's a battered woman.

JMO

I don't think she's battered. I'd call her determined and I think she ignored or was ignorant to many warning signs in her relationship with MG. I'm not going to fault her because I was similar in my younger years. I was just fortunate the consequences of my choices weren't as severe as the consequences of JG's choices.

Addiction is partially the result of poor problem solving skills and it's pretty apparent imo that MG had very poor problem solving skills. It's likely he'd attract someone similar and I don't think it's a stretch to think JG likely has poor problem solving skills as well. Though not because she doesn't care, simply because she is unaware.
 
  • #931
How could JG not know what the conditions were at MGs trailer? Did JG take Ember to him or did MG pick Ember up? Idk if any of this has been reported or if it's important. It just seems strange that JG wouldn't know what she and her baby we're moving into.
 
  • #932
How could JG not know what the conditions were at MGs trailer? Did JG take Ember to him or did MG pick Ember up? Idk if any of this has been reported or if it's important. It just seems strange that JG wouldn't know what she and her baby we're moving into.


IM not buying it either!
 
  • #933
I think the neighbor's know something even if it is only that they may share the druggie lifestyle and would cover for him.

I think LE should go back and scour that property for any sign of Ember. That trailer was only 25 ft and the temps were triple digit. The truck didn't have air conditioning and even if he left her in her car seat sleeping while he was inside doing drugs it was a very dangerous environment especially so if she had a seizure disorder.

JMO
 
  • #934
How could JG not know what the conditions were at MGs trailer? Did JG take Ember to him or did MG pick Ember up? Idk if any of this has been reported or if it's important. It just seems strange that JG wouldn't know what she and her baby we're moving into.

She might've had some romantic notions about being like a pioneer, roughing it and working their way up and living happily ever after... anything to be with her 'man' -- 'love conquers all', etc.

ETA: I am so sorry for this indescribable pain and horror that she is suffering. I certainly wish her well.
 
  • #935
How could JG not know what the conditions were at MGs trailer? Did JG take Ember to him or did MG pick Ember up? Idk if any of this has been reported or if it's important. It just seems strange that JG wouldn't know what she and her baby we're moving into.

I don't think anyone was saying JG was unaware of the conditions at the trailer. I thought the discussion was whether others in the family knew. It's possible JG's family never saw the trailer and possible MG's family didn't know as they live out of state.

Addicts are experts at hiding things. They are expert liars, manipulators etc. Selective effort and an effort to keep their dark secrets hidden. I think MG hid a lot and was likely able to hide things from JG and his family.

Anyone who wants to learn more should search addictive and criminal thinking patterns. It explains a lot!
 
  • #936
Does it really matter if she knew or didn't know? Poverty is not abuse. There are lots of individuals who abuse all kinds of substances but still love and care for their children appropriately. She did not ask for her child to be "missing" and while yes she may have not have made the smartest decision having a baby with this man I am confident that when she handed him the child to watch for the night she did not have any clue that something like this could happen. She may be young, naive and in love which many of us have been guilty of. Most of us were just lucky enough to not have that end in such tragedy. She deserves nothing but our condolences right now. Can you imagine the pain and guilt she is dealing with right now?
 
  • #937
I don't think anyone was saying JG was unaware of the conditions at the trailer. I thought the discussion was whether others in the family knew. It's possible JG's family never saw the trailer and possible MG's family didn't know as they live out of state.

Addicts are experts at hiding things. They are expert liars, manipulators etc. Selective effort and an effort to keep their dark secrets hidden.

Anyone who wants to learn more should search addictive and criminal thinking patterns. It explains a lot!

Hi Cubby,
(modsnip) I was trying to find out if any msm had reported that she didn't know.. I'm not blaming her just trying to understand the situation. I've learned a lot about addicts, more than I ever cared to know...my son in law is an addict, two time felon.
Karen
 
  • #938
"I don't think she's battered. I'd call her determined and I think she ignored or was ignorant to many warning signs in her relationship with MG. I'm not going to fault her because I was similar in my younger years. I was just fortunate the consequences of my choices weren't as severe as the consequences of JG's choices.

Addiction is partially the result of poor problem solving skills and it's pretty apparent imo that MG had very poor problem solving skills. It's likely he'd attract someone similar and I don't think it's a stretch to think JG likely has poor problem solving skills as well. Though not because she doesn't care, simply because she is unaware. "



I totally agree with you, Cubby. Sorry, I hit the wrong reply button so I respectfully edited your post in to mine.

I don't think he wanted them to move in at all and when she left him with Ember he made the choice to nip that idea in the bud by disappearing his baby girl. It would solve most of his "problems", wouldn't it? No baby with ongoing medical needs to keep him up at night, no wife nagging him to get with it and take care of them, maybe even an extended reprieve from financial obligations to his son...etc.

A tragic, stupid, horrible decision on his part.
 
  • #939
Does it really matter if she knew or didn't know? Poverty is not abuse. There are lots of individuals who abuse all kinds of substances but still love and care for their children appropriately. She did not ask for her child to be "missing" and while yes she may have not have made the smartest decision having a baby with this man I am confident that when she handed him the child to watch for the night she did not have any clue that something like this could happen. She may be young, naive and in love which many of us have been guilty of. Most of us were just lucky enough to not have that end in such tragedy. She deserves nothing but our condolences right now. Can you imagine the pain and guilt she is dealing with right now?

I can only imagine the torment she is going through and hope she has the support system she needs to get through it but I do disagree that substance abuse isn't child abuse.

I think there is no way anyone who is actively engaged in abusing a substance can provide appropriate care for a 6-month-old baby.

JMO
 
  • #940
I thought this is interesting. I wonder who the caller was... some people speculate it was MG. If it's not a hoax.

[video=youtube;mFR7chfAGDA]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFR7chfAGDA[/video]
 
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