I'm with you on this all the way. I grew up in an emotionally and physically abusive/alcoholic/dysfunctional home, and I actually did try to run away several times. Each time, the cops would bring me back and give me a lecture on how I needed to straighten up, respect my parents, and remind me that 'spanking' was a legal form of punishment.
Once, I called 911 from a locked bathroom because my father was going to beat me with a belt. They sent officers to our home, only to let me know my father was legally allowed to discipline me as he saw fit.
I was labeled as 'rebellious'.
I felt like there was nothing I could do to escape. It's such a helpless feeling as a child.
At 17, I finally had enough. I was in a serious physical altercation with my father, which led to me running out the front door and jumping into my car. He broke his hand trying to punch the glass out of the driver side door before I got away. I never returned. Our family dissolved after that, resulting in a divorce for my parents, loss of our home, etc. I carried the guilt of that for many years. I felt I had abandoned my younger brother as well.
I recently learned that my mother never knew what had transpired that day. She thought I was just being rebellious and left without incident. Of course my father never told her what he'd done.
My mother, brother and I are close as can be, but we are estranged from my father. He's a narcissist and alcoholic and still thinks we are ungrateful children who can't see all he did for us.
When abuse and dysfunction is all you know, it's not abnormal. It's just the way it is. When you are repeatedly reaching out to outsiders and they dismiss your cries for help, you start to accept and believe that this is all there is. It's nothing short or nightmarish.
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