I think there is evidence that he was physically threatening. What does it mean when someone says a teenager had a 20 minute tantrum? What does it mean when a father has to give a 'bear hug' to a child to try and alter their angry tantrum? Typically an out of control tantrum includes crying, screaming, flailing, throwing things, and/or hitting.
We have heard examples of Nick throwing chairs and throwing cups across the room. And examples of him destroying everything in his guest house, then laughing about it.
So to try and say that his outbursts were not volatile is incorrect, imo.
That^^^ is very easy to say.>>>> " just cut him off completely and let him figure it out."
First of all, you cannot legally cut off your minor child completely. You are responsible for their home, food and care. So they could not cut him off. They had to deal with the volatile tantrums and the defiance on a daily basis.
It is not half assed to send a child away to a program that promises to address their defiance and their sobriety. It is a full measure of hope and dedication. Half assed would be to keep trying out patient therapy, which allows the child to keep getting high and being defiant.
You say that so easily---" deal with him under close supervision during those developmental years"
How exactly? Have you ever tried to 'deal' with an unruly spoiled rich kid high on cocaine before ? They don't 'deal.' To deal means people negotiate and barter. Rich kids who just want to continue getting high don't comply and make concessions.
"Close supervision?' You cannot 'supervise' a grown child that refuses to accept any rules or requests. When their response is a 20 minute tantrum of screaming and throwing things and breaking things and flailing at you if you get close, it becomes a standoff. It's like a hostage situation where the rest of the family is held hostage.
He refused to go. End of Story according to him. Not going to go and you can't make me. And if you do drag me there I will just act out and get sent home.
He fooled you too then. You are taking him at his word when everyone knows that he is a master manipulator and talented liar..You say you have no reason not to believe him? He was a known liar and manipulator. Why take him at his word?
His whole sad complaint that all he wanted was love and attention from mummy and daddy is a master manipulation. He always had their full attention. Always.
I think you are grossly underestimating the amount of chaos and grief that he created within his household for all of those years. I guess unless you have lived it you would not understand. If you truly think that half of all adolescents meet his benchmark of aggression there you are way off, in my opinion.
They have now said that he was diagnosed as schizophrenic in his early years. I doubt that half of all adolescents meet that benchmark. He was truly a special case, imo.
YES, if you believe his story 'they never really tried.' But if you believe friends and family members, they tried and tried so much, that it interfered with the rest of their daily lives. It consumed them. It was all they worried about and dealt with most of the time. Just as he hoped.
It was rehab after rehab why???? Oh, because he kept getting high and kept refusing to follow the family rules of going to school and behaving at home.
ATTENTION? I don't understand this accusation that they didn't pay attention to him. That couldn't be further from the truth. And Nick made sure of that. They had to pay their full attention to him because he kept everyone on edge. He created chaos and uncertainty so they had to have full attention on him 24/7.
I lived this experience when I was growing up with a schizophrenic younger brother. My parents went though similar dynamics and it is exhausting and depressing and nerve wracking for everyone involved.
I don't understand all the criticism towards the parents who were doing the best they knew how to do. When a totally defiant, non compliant child puts all their energy into disruptive chaos, there is little anyone can do.