Christian school complains 8-year-old girl isn't girly enough

[LinasK]

They told her to dress as God ordained her..
That does mean it is about dress codes. I am not reading into it more than is available.

Facts. They said that, The parents don't agree with her having to dress in dresses and stuff so they are not putting her in the school.
Sounds resolved to me.

Show me where in the Bible it says that God ordained females to wear dresses.

 

[LietKynes]

Sounds wrong to impose "long hair" on any girl.
It would be interesting to hear the whole story, though.
A tomboy can still be a "girly girl"... jeeze louise.

 

[Karmady]

The principal's letter says that she should dress according to her God ordained identity so I'm just hoping to find out what exactly it's been ordained that I should wear.

In the Yahoo link there is a picture of the letter and it says she's being counseled professionally about her identity issues and steered into a certain direction. Just a wild guess but I think the school is not happy because the counselor didn't tell her that everybody needs to conform to some sort of a rigid and inflexible stereotype or burn in hell.

I don't remember exactly what the letter said about her counseling and haven't gone back to read it yet (actually, the only copy I have seen was not the entire letter, but a still shot of some of it). That said, I have no doubt that this is about homosexuality and, to the extent that implicates other school rules such as dress code and code of conduct, those issues as well. I think you are right that their doctrine is that homosexuality is a sin and possibly that it will damn you to Hell if you practice it if Hell is part of their belief system. Idk. It still sounds like it's resolved to me, though. jmo

 

[Donjeta]

They told her to dress as God ordained her..
That does mean it is about dress codes. I am not reading into it more than is available.

Facts. They said that, The parents don't agree with her having to dress in dresses and stuff so they are not putting her in the school.
Sounds resolved to me.

Actually the school dress code does not require that girls wear dresses.

http://www.tcs4u.org/timberlakeuserfiles/file/Parent Handbook 2014-2015.pdf

Here's the dress code of the school. Conservative skirts are allowed but not required for girls. Both girls and boys are allowed to wear tennis shoes and certain styles of slacks but neither are allowed jeans.

And the handbook also says that it's not a sin to disagree with these rules...

go figure. Maybe the principal didn't read the handbook.

 

[LinasK]

I seriously doubt there's not more to it than jeans and sneakers (even if they're against the dress code). That said, I'm not sure why this is being taken public at all since the grandparents have already decided they're not going to re-enroll her. jmo

From the link:

The Thompsons are sticking with their decision and reportedly do not plan on re-enrolling their granddaughter at Timberlake Christian School.


http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/oddnews...dresses-and-behaves-like-a-boy-204748527.html

Red BBM. They still have a right to publicize the fact that they think the school they were enrolled in is stupid and this is why they are leaving.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

Actually the school dress code does not require that girls wear dresses.

http://www.tcs4u.org/timberlakeuserfiles/file/Parent Handbook 2014-2015.pdf

Here's the dress code of the school. Conservative skirts are allowed but not required for girls. Both girls and boys are allowed to wear tennis shoes and certain styles of slacks but neither are allowed jeans.

And the handbook also says that it's not a sin to disagree with these rules...

go figure. Maybe the principal didn't read the handbook.

AS much as I would not send my child there, I respect the right of a privately funded school to make the rules they like and decisions they like about dress codes.
Now she is in another school. I don't know why this is in the news.

 

[Donjeta]

AS much as I would not send my child there, I respect the right of a privately funded school to make the rules they like and decisions they like about dress codes.
Now she is in another school. I don't know why this is in the news.

I've no issue with the school having a dress code, it doesn't seem that unusual to me.
It's the letter and the statement from the school administrator I have problems with.

I misspoke in an earlier post, elementary grade boys are allowed jeans. Girls and secondary grade boys are not.
Nothing to do with what God ordained though, He never said any such thing.

 

[Jacie Estes]

Adult concepts such as homosexuality, lesbianism and sexual identity are being ascribed to an 8 year old girl. She should just be allowed to be who she is and not labeled.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

Adult concepts such as homosexuality, lesbianism and sexual identity are being ascribed to an 8 year old girl. She should just be allowed to be who she is and not labeled.

I don't see anything about her being gay. I think she should be able to be a tom boy.. I was one.. Still am at heart. But I do not see the two things colliding here.

 

[LinasK]

I don't see anything about her being gay. I think she should be able to be a tom boy.. I was one.. Still am at heart. But I do not see the two things colliding here.

The school is implying that that's how she will turn out if she continues to dress like that which is why they will not allow it.

 

[gitana1]

I may get flamed- but as a private school, they have every right to decide on a dress code and hold students accountable for it. They also have every right to decline enrollment to students who decline to adhere to it.

If it were a private Muslim school, and the girls declined to cover her head - she would be denied enrollment.

It is a private school and they can make a dress code and make the children follow it. Girls in skirts and boys in pants. There is nothing wrong with that. It is a choice and they should enroll her in a school where they don't agree with the policies.

Its not about dress codes. IMO.

Yup. It's not about the dress code. I was just coming to post this- http://tcs4u.org/dress-code-virginia.html - when I saw someone else already did. Nothing in the letter mentions jeans and none of the articles state she wore them at school.

I think the problem is this little girl is just too butch for the school. I think she doesn't conform to gender stereotypes. I think she scares them because they are ignorant.

I've seen this kind of fear and ignorance first hand. I had a student at a Christian preschool I worked at who only played with girls, loved dolls and pink and purple, spoke with an effeminate lilt, and insisted that boys could wear dresses. I was only 19 and didn't know how to handle the situation and it became a situation because other teachers and staff constantly berated him and insisted he act like a boy and play with the boys. He became very stressed and began throwing violent tantrums and acting out. It was sad. I would know better how to deal now. I wouldn't have let those women berate and harass him.

Fear and ignorance. Anyone who takes a basic child development class should understand that allowing gender bending behaviors does not create gay people or transgender children. They are just kids. Many little boys who like sparkles and heels grow up to adore women and many little tomboys grow up to love men.

And harassing a child won't change anything anyhow except to emotionally damage them.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

The school is implying that that's how she will turn out if she continues to dress like that which is why they will not allow it.

Yeah, I don't do implications. I don't see the issue. I don't see this as a gay debate. I see this as a school saying what they will accept and not and since it is a privately funded school, Then they get that say. If this was public school it would be an issue. But it is not.

 

[gitana1]

AS much as I would not send my child there, I respect the right of a privately funded school to make the rules they like and decisions they like about dress codes.
Now she is in another school. I don't know why this is in the news.

Probably because a school punished a child due to fear and ignorance and even though he child is going elsewhere, the child was hurt by it, it never should've happened and only dialogue, which comes from publicity, can stop it from happening again.

By the way, I love dress codes and school uniforms for kids. By that's not what this is about.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

Probably because a school punished a child due to fear and ignorance and even though he child is going elsewhere, the child was hurt by it, it never should've happened and only dialogue, which comes from publicity, can stop it from happening again.

By the way, I love dress codes and school uniforms for kids. By that's not what this is about.

The child is not punished. I don't love uniforms but I do like dress codes. I think the whole thing is ridiculous frankly and not news..

 

[i.b.nora]

Well, I have narrowed it down to something about 'restrooms' and 'Mat Staver, Founder and Chairman of Liberty Counsel.'


http://tcs4u.org/timberlakeuserfiles/file/tcs_news_release.pdf

Oh, and the school refers to the Thompsons as her great grandparents, not that it necessarily matters.

 

[LinasK]

Yeah, I don't do implications. I don't see the issue. I don't see this as a gay debate. I see this as a school saying what they will accept and not and since it is a privately funded school, Then they get that say. If this was public school it would be an issue. But it is not.

I've lost the original article I read on it. The whole context of the letter from the school was printed and included language on how her not following their dress code was "immoral behavior". Granted this issue was resolved by moving her to a public school, but their despicable attitude needed a light shined on it (attention) like cockroaches. It shouldn't be acceptable to have such ignorant beliefs in modern society.

 

[LinasK]

The child is not punished. I don't love uniforms but I do like dress codes. I think the whole thing is ridiculous frankly and not news..

She was punished by being expelled from the school she loved and her friends were at. Now I understand being expelled for bringing alcohol to school, but this is ridiculous!

 

[Donjeta]

Well, I have narrowed it down to something about 'restrooms' and 'Mat Staver, Founder and Chairman of Liberty Counsel.'


http://tcs4u.org/timberlakeuserfiles/file/tcs_news_release.pdf

Oh, and the school refers to the Thompsons as her great grandparents, not that it necessarily matters.

The Church and the School are limited in what can be related about this situation. With all due
respect, the facts are not as S.K.'s great-grandparents have portrayed them. This matter is far
beyond a simple ‘hairstyle and tomboy issue’ as inaccurately portrayed. It is not about that at all.
At no time did the Church or the School state or imply that S.K. was sexually immoral or the
like. Yet, reports like this have appeared in the media.

They never implied that SK was sexually immoral or the like but then they go on to imply just that when they release a statement about how something SK somehow sends a message that corrupts the Christian education of the other children and is in conflict with the school upholding Christian standards.

The School has never told S.K. she cannot
return to school.

Why'd they write the family this then?

"We believe that unless Sunnie and her family clearly understand that God has made her female and her dress and behavior need to follow suit with her God-ordained identity, that TCS is not the best place for her future education," Bowman wrote in the letter, which was given to WDBJ7 by Thompson.

The Church and the School have a responsibility to all students, their parents, and guardians.
Parents and guardians send their children to the School because of our Christian beliefs and
standards. We have a duty to create an environment that is supportive of these Christian values.
We cannot have conflicting messages or standards because such conflict will confuse our
students and frustrate the parents and guardians who have entrusted the education of their
children to us. When elementary children and their parents or guardians express concerns regarding use of the restroom and other matters arising from the sensitive issues here, the School has a duty to address those concerns and to ensure that all interests are heard and protected in accordance with the Christian mission of the School. While we welcome all students, parents and guardians are made aware of the School’s Christian mission and beliefs. We not only have a right, but we also have a duty to uphold these Christian standards.
We deeply regret that the great-grandparents either made inaccurate statements or were quoted out of context. This public discussion is not in the best interest of all concerned. S.K. has been attending our school for several years and we had looked forward to working with her and her great-grandparents privately.”

If they had looked forward to working with her and her guardians, why did they send her family a letter saying they should consider getting her to another school?

 

[Karmady]

Red BBM. They still have a right to publicize the fact that they think the school they were enrolled in is stupid and this is why they are leaving.

Sure, they have the right to. But to what end? They don't want her back at the school and the school's policy wouldn't be a big mystery that they're calling to everyone's amazed attention. What are they hoping to accomplish? Getting everyone to hate on the school doesn't seem a worthwhile purpose since I doubt anyone who does or would go there disagrees with the school's policy and the "haters" would never put their kids there in the first place. jmo

 

[LietKynes]

Saw this on Yahoo a few days ago...
news.yahoo.com/westboro-counter-protest-lorde-143155151.html?bcmt_s=m#ugccmt-container

Not familiar with Lorde; but I liked the messages sent to the church protesters :
" Live Your Life and be Awesome "

If this 8 year old's school is intimidated by her short hair, so be it. As a private school, they are entitled to their rules... just think their way of dealing with a hairstyle was mishandled.
We still don't know the whole story ; and I'm really surprised this made the news at all.