I am sorry that you're going through this right now, and I'm sure it hits home much more for you (literally, because it's your home) than any of us can understand (aside from actually going through this type of situation)...
I think from my perspective is that the reason Dear's name is mentioned so much is because we are trying to help... by sleuthing, a mass meeting of the minds in one thread so we can figure out WHY this keeps happening, the traits or warning signs we can look for going forward to try to help stop it from happening or see warning signs, so more people don't die.
Also part of it is TOS- victim friendly board, when the suspect or perp is named, we can talk about it, and we try to keep the victims from becoming part of the mess as much as possible out of respect to the deceased and out of respect for those who have wounds so deep they may never recover emotionally.
Our way of helping (IMO, obviously) is to sleuth it out as hard as possible to bring these awful people to justice and try to stop the same thing from happening ever again. So yeah, it does facilitate a situation where the bad guy's name keeps being brought up, but we do that in honor and respect for the victims to try to make the world a better place after all of the horrible things they went through.
So many hugs to you.
Maybe there is a separate thread we can start to honor the victims and talk about their accomplishments and celebrate their lives in some way?