CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #12

[Kamille]

Leaving here shortly with a group from Santa Fe, Los Alamos, Tesuque, etc. to head to Vallecito. We are all accomplished hikers/mountain bikers with our own equipment/food/water in tow. The weather is going to turn on/about late Saturday/Sunday with first snow coming.

I'll take all your thoughts and prayers with me. Peace.

That's a wonderful gesture on your part Ransom. Thank you for taking time out of what I'm sure is your own busy life for Dylan. Just as a suggestion, anyone in the group who owns a metal detector may want to take it along.

 

[katydid23]

Yes, I do think there is substance to the hot head/temper part. It's documented in other areas.

Regarding witnesses: I would still want to have an outside version of it. We know it was said that there were witnesses, but we don't see anyone else's account. I don't know what went down. I was raised around enough dysfunction to know that perspective get really messed up, *especially* when everyone is drinking. (which we don't know!!) I've watched as something went from a theoretical to joint belief that it actually happened. Alcohol is a strange thing when you add it in mass volume to a dysfunctional group.

I was raised around people who made claims like that, and there was always some truth- but if you were the sober one (as I always was) it looks way different than it did to everyone else. At the risk of exposing more about myself than I like to, I had a very similar situation with my step mom and a neighbor man. It went way out of control and eventually led to her trying to run him over in a car. Then she evaded police and wouldn't pull over for them. And she never faced charges for it, they let it go. They put her in a mental hospital instead for about a week, and I was charged with taking care of her kids in her house completely by myself. And that brings me to another thing- they were already separated, but basically lived on the same street. Yeah.

In my case, my step mom was by far the crazy one. She would lock herself in room in a RAGE until she looked like she'd been beat up. She would BEAT my dad with two fists and if he tried to hold her arms away she would immediately scream abuse and yell at me that I was her witness that he was abusive. And she went into abuse protection homes on way more than one occasion. She's still living a dysfunctional life, while my Dad remarried and has a normal, healthy, happy relationship. He tried way too long to make that one work.

I'm not applying this to ER, because this us someone else's baggage. I don't have ANY reason to believe ER is ANYTHING like this. NONE. My only point is that at Dylan's age I was around this kind of dysfunction, and IMO how drunk people tell the story the following day is not at all what really happened. So if there were multiple people drinking, it's really really hard to say what actually went down that night. JMO

Thank you for the well thought out post. I am in 100% agreement with you and agree that if everyone is drinking, things become distorted. Been there/done that myself.

But in the case they described, both Dylan and Cory physically lashed out at the father on that very day. So I think they were responding from a sober, and victimized place. I don't think mom distorted their reactions, but that is just my opinion.

I feel like mom has moved on and grown. She has a better job, in a respected college and has improved her position in life. She has a new home in a new city and a new imminent marriage. I don't get the feeling that her life is chaotic or crazed now. But dad seems to be stuck, imo.


And maybe I was wrong about dad admitting he had sex outside in the yard. If not, then he denied it and called his sons liars instead/

 

[mmmagique]

Leaving here shortly with a group from Santa Fe, Los Alamos, Tesuque, etc. to head to Vallecito. We are all accomplished hikers/mountain bikers with our own equipment/food/water in tow. The weather is going to turn on/about late Saturday/Sunday with first snow coming.

I'll take all your thoughts and prayers with me. Peace.

May God be with you and lead you. Thanks for all you do.

 

[i8mypaint]

Leaving here shortly with a group from Santa Fe, Los Alamos, Tesuque, etc. to head to Vallecito. We are all accomplished hikers/mountain bikers with our own equipment/food/water in tow. The weather is going to turn on/about late Saturday/Sunday with first snow coming.

I'll take all your thoughts and prayers with me. Peace.

Thank you, will be keeping you guys in my thoughts and prayers and be safe as the weather turns.

 

[katydid23]

BBM:
No, he did not admit to this. If you have a MSM report of this ... please link. TIA.

I don't have a link. I just assumed that the boys were telling the truth about what happened. And I did not think that Dad was calling them out as liars.

I did not see anywhere that Dad DENIED this account of what is claimed. All I saw was his complaint that his sons assaulted him. He says that the eldest admitted to beating him up and leaving him somewhere for hours.

I am taking that as an indication that the boys saw something that really upset them that day. So I will believe mom's version as opposed to dad's in this specific instance. JMO

 

[Abby Normal Again]

Thank you for the well thought out post. I am in 100% agreement with you and agree that if everyone is drinking, things become distorted. Been there/done that myself.

But in the case they described, both Dylan and Cory physically lashed out at the father on that very day. So I think they were responding from a sober, and victimized place. I don't think mom distorted their reactions, but that is just my opinion.

I feel like mom has moved on and grown. She has a better job, in a respected college and has improved her position in life. She has a new home in a new city and a new imminent marriage. I don't get the feeling that her life is chaotic or crazed now. But dad seems to be stuck, imo.


And maybe I was wrong about dad admitting he had sex outside in the yard. If not, then he denied it and called his sons liars instead/

Fair enough. My dad was never a part of the neighborhood drinking. Usually at work or inside watching a show. If we are to compare people from my example to people from their family, my step mom (the crazy one) would have been MR not ER. The one in the middle of whatever controversy. So I'm not going to bat for MR at all. I don't feel like I know enough to go to bat for anyone.

Just saying that unless they questioned the kids and neighbors, we only know that ER claims there were witnesses. As a kid of dysfunction I know the statement "you saw that, didn't you?" which evolves into "you saw that too!" and we definitely felt the need to go with them for their approval, and take sides. I always took my dad's side, and my step siblings always took their mom's side. That's natural, right? How much harder when it's both your natural parents.

But this is my history, not theirs. I don't want to apply it, that kind of dysfunction just makes me back into a corner =P I often write off every adult involved in any type of dysfunction like that, but in this case there is a beautiful little boy lost somewhere behind it. Can't just look the other way and avoid.

 

[DylansMom34]

Yes, of course Cory is a member of this family and if he learned about drinking, abuse, etc., is there any chance he learned about it first from his own father, the man who was supposed to be his role model??

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

I'm sure hoping tomorrow's search brings some light to this very sad case. Thanks Ransom and all those going out to search!

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

Yes, of course Cory is a member of this family and if he learned about drinking, abuse, etc., is there any chance he learned about it first from his own father, the man who was supposed to be his role model??

And likely his Mother too. I don't doubt that she is/was a drinker too. I don't think Dad is the only guilty one in a lot of this. It sounds like these boys have been exposed to a lot.

 

[AlexisFresca]

Thank you for the well thought out post. I am in 100% agreement with you and agree that if everyone is drinking, things become distorted. Been there/done that myself.

But in the case they described, both Dylan and Cory physically lashed out at the father on that very day. So I think they were responding from a sober, and victimized place. I don't think mom distorted their reactions, but that is just my opinion.

I feel like mom has moved on and grown. She has a better job, in a respected college and has improved her position in life. She has a new home in a new city and a new imminent marriage. I don't get the feeling that her life is chaotic or crazed now. But dad seems to be stuck, imo.


And maybe I was wrong about dad admitting he had sex outside in the yard. If not, then he denied it and called his sons liars instead/

This is the impression I get of Elaine as well.

 

[PaulR]

How many people do you know that have EVER been arrested for the charge of MENACING?

How many people had ever heard that there is a crime called "menacing" before this thread? I hadn't.

 

[DylansMom34]

The bottom line is, Dylan did not go missing while under Elaine or Cory's supervision. Dad barely takes over as care giver and Dylan very quickly goes missing. I just can't reconcile in my mind that Dylan's disappearance is because of Elaine or Cody.

 

[cattlekate]

Well, I have nothing to add but prayers to all tomorrow and perhaps there will be an inkling of fact explaining where this darling little boy is.

 

[DylansMom34]

How many people had ever heard that there is a crime called "menacing" before this thread? I hadn't.

I had. It gets charged fairly often in Colorado. Do other states have a similar charge? In Colorado it is currently described as:

§ 18-3-206. Menacing

(1) A person commits the crime of menacing if, by any threat or physical action, he or she knowingly places or attempts to place another person in fear of imminent serious bodily injury. Menacing is a class 3 misdemeanor, but, it is a class 5 felony if committed:
(a) By the use of a deadly weapon or any article used or fashioned in a manner to cause a person to reasonably believe that the article is a deadly weapon; or
(b) By the person representing verbally or otherwise that he or she is armed with a deadly weapon.

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

The bottom line is, Dylan did not go missing while under Elaine or Cory's supervision. Dad barely takes over as care giver and Dylan very quickly goes missing. I just can't reconcile in my mind that Dylan's disappearance is because of Elaine or Cody.

Oh I don't think for a minute that Mom or Brother have anything to do with it. I was talking about everything leading up to this.

 

[Abby Normal Again]

The bottom line is, Dylan did not go missing while under Elaine or Cory's supervision. Dad barely takes over as care giver and Dylan very quickly goes missing. I just can't reconcile in my mind that Dylan's disappearance is because of Elaine or Cody.

No, there is absolutely no reason to believe they are at fault. I think the discussion, from my end, was more to argue that the claims they made against each other are unsubstantiated and may be biased. That's all I meant. Never meant it to sound like I was implying anyone else

 

[scorekeeper]

How many people had ever heard that there is a crime called "menacing" before this thread? I hadn't.

People are charged with "menacing" in Ohio; it sometimes goes along with stalking

 

[PaulR]

I had. It gets charged fairly often in Colorado. Do other states have a similar charge?

Maybe... I checked and the two states I have spent most of my life living in don't have "menacing" as a crime. I'm guessing they call it something else.

 

[DylansMom34]

It's sad that Dylan and even Cody had to experience that kind of drama. I have an alcoholic, drug abusing mother who, after getting divorced from my father found herself a sicko child abuser. Its hard on kids growing up with dysfunction and I'm just so sad for Dylan. I am sick thinking about those last moments... what on earth did he go through?

 

[DylansMom34]

I think some states have a harassment charge that is similar to Colorado's menacing charge.

Menacing is kind of a weird word. For some reason, I picture someone making a mean face. lol