CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #24

[asyousay]

There have been some very logical and rational alternatives posted.

Of course I disagree . It is not logical he never used his phone after 8pm and never contacted anybody again . It's also not logical to leave home with most of your belongings on you , unless you do not plan to return .

 

[Veidt]

Wow. It's amazing how we miss things when we read. I've kept in mind how Dylan didn't have to let Elaine know where he was going during the day. What I've kept in mind is that he didn't text her until the evening to let her know "where he landed" and "what friend he was sleeping with".

How did I miss that she continued to say that he often didn't text her until the next morning?

So it looks to me that Dylan's norm with the parent he spent most of his time with for years before he went missing was to go and do what he wanted, where he wanted, with no obligation to ask permission or even say where he was until the day. <modsnip>. :twocents:

REDWINE: Well, not necessarily going to sleep, but he would let me know where he landed for the night. So like, if he was hanging around with his friends in Bayfield, you know, he would let me know what friend he was sleeping with that night or whatever the case may be.

You know, he often did stay up later, so he didn`t always text me, but he would always generally text me in the morning when he woke up.

<modsnip> I don't agree. People have different parenting styles and as other users have said it largely depends on the household and the region. Dylan was visiting his father and if he slept over at a friend's his dad would have known which friend that was as he would presumably drive him there from the airport or his house that evening. I see no reason why he would absolutely need to text his mom other than just common courtesy and household rules. <modsnip>, just that she assumed that his father would know where he was. Not an unreasonable expectation IMO.

 

[DylansMom34]

I think Elaine has much more awareness of where Dylan is and what he is doing when he is in her custody. As a parent, a person has to have some faith that their child is being cared for when that child is in the other parent's custody. Elaine seemed to have that trust. But then, who could really fathom something like this happening?

 

[mmmagique]

I thought he said they had talked about going to Mark's brothers for Thanksgiving.

I know some families that go out and eat at a restaurant on Thanksgiving Day. I doubt single guys put on a big spread or even cook that day. So many places are open on Thanksgiving now where people can go out to eat.

If someone fights to have Thanksgiving with their son, I would expect them to have some sort of plan in place, even if it's just "We're going to Denny's".

 

[oceanblueeyes]

If someone fights to have Thanksgiving with their son, I would expect them to have some sort of plan in place, even if it's just "We're going to Denny's".

Why? :waitasec: There would be plenty of time for them to discuss what they were going to do. Thanksgiving wasn't until Thursday.

 

[Salem]

If you can't link it, it is not discussable on the threads.

Thanks,

Salem

 

[SCHMAE]

OOPS, i see that post was removed,,,,,,, so I'll x mine out too .

 

[aust amateur slueth]

If you can't link it, it is not discussable on the threads.

Thanks,

Salem

sorry

the link would be www.google.com then click on images and scroll down. And I didn't think I could to link to a forum.

 

[Chili Fries]

If you can't link it, it is not discussable on the threads.

Thanks,

Salem

Here's the link:

http://www.gazette.com/articles/reward-149249-help-increased.html#ixzz2GyIjjZ1i

The question is whether the sheriff's tape photo provided with the article means anything significant in the context of this case. Looks to me like it could have been taken below Vallecito Lake dam.

Here's the pic:

 

[mck16]

My Alert button is not working properly. Anyone else having problems? tia

 

[SCHMAE]

Sorry I don't know how to ' embed' a pic? But here is one of Dylan I've not
seen before, looks fairly recent. Feel free to post it if anyone knows how.

http://www.terryrbacon.com/trb/assets/Image/Dylan 2.jpg

 

[OneLove]

I think Elaine has much more awareness of where Dylan is and what he is doing when he is in her custody. As a parent, a person has to have some faith that their child is being cared for when that child is in the other parent's custody. Elaine seemed to have that trust. But then, who could really fathom something like this happening?

This is so true about NOT helicoptering when a child is in the care of the other parent! A great deal of unnecessary turmoil in a child's life is caused by parents who want absolute control over every detail when the child is in the care of the other parent, as though the other parent is merely a paid employee. This causes more strife and deep resentment than you can imagine, and back when I worked with children in family turmoil through social services, a great deal of counseling with parents was centered around setting appropriate boundaries with parents who did not understand what appropriate boundaries were. The other parent is NOT a babysitter. Not trusting the other parents judgement and discretion has kept many parents from divorce until the children were old enough to exercise good judgement themselves and to be able to independently communicate or call for help when needed. I was one of those parents. And even though my kids were 14 and nearly 17 by the time we divorced, it was still a mistake. Their father committed many egregious acts when they were with him. I'm glad they survived that time period and are both great adults today.

Looking back, (this was before the proliferation of cell phones) I can easily see their father getting enraged if they were trying to contact me or someone else with a cellphone to 'escape' his drunk and surly attitude. He did things drunk that he would never have done sober. Thankfully, he never had sex on our lawn in front of me and the kids but he did many other highly inappropriate sexually related things. One thing was for sure: it was all about HIM, all the time. Our kids were just the only weapon he had left to use to hurt me.

I suspect this is why MR would have liked to 'come together', to meet with ER in person. I suspect that, with just one look, he could convey to her, without words, what had transpired. A satisfying smirk would be all that was necessary. And she would know. And have to live with it. I am glad she has denied him that.

 

[PaulR]

Can we stop with the attacks on other posters? I thought that was made clear on page one of this thread.

 

[aust amateur slueth]

Here's the link:

http://www.gazette.com/articles/reward-149249-help-increased.html#ixzz2GyIjjZ1i

The question is whether the sheriff's tape photo provided with the article means anything significant in the context of this case. Looks to me like it could have been taken below Vallecito Lake dam.

Here's the pic:

towards the bottom right of the picture was what caught my eye

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

Here's the link:

http://www.gazette.com/articles/reward-149249-help-increased.html#ixzz2GyIjjZ1i

The question is whether the sheriff's tape photo provided with the article means anything significant in the context of this case. Looks to me like it could have been taken below Vallecito Lake dam.

Here's the pic:

I'm curious as to where this pic was taken too. Why do you think it could be below the dam?

 

[OneLove]

If someone fights to have Thanksgiving with their son, I would expect them to have some sort of plan in place, even if it's just "We're going to Denny's".

I feel the same way. At least to have discussed possibilities with Dylan in a conversation before he arrived, so Dylan would have something to look forward to. Did he even talk with Dylan by phone with any regularity?

Given the options MR says he had considered for Thanksgiving Day, I'd love to know 2 things:

1). Did he have any history at all of cooking and nourishing family members, especially his children? Did he cook for himself? Did he have groceries in the house for Dylan when Dylan arrived? I'd like to know whether he prepared for Dylan's visit or spent his time stewed in anger over the delay in Dylan getting there.

2). Was he even invited to come to his brother's house with Dylan for Thanksgiving? Had he even discussed with his brother doing this? Had he EVER had Thanksgiving with his brother within the past 10 years or so?

 

[PaulR]

There's also a clear path in that pic.

 

[mck16]

towards the bottom right of the picture was what caught my eye

Please state what you are referring to. tia

 

[PaulR]

Please state what you are referring to. tia

There's a patch of red. Could be blood or it could be spray paint for marking sewer lines. Or something else entirely.

 

[mck16]

I feel the same way. At least to have discussed possibilities with Dylan in a conversation before he arrived, so Dylan would have something to look forward to. Did he even talk with Dylan by phone with any regularity?

Given the options MR says he had considered for Thanksgiving Day, I'd love to know 2 things:

1). Did he have any history at all of cooking and nourishing family members, especially his children? Did he cook for himself? Did he have groceries in the house for Dylan when Dylan arrived? I'd like to know whether he prepared for Dylan's visit or spent his time stewed in anger over the delay in Dylan getting there.

2). Was he even invited to come to his brother's house with Dylan for Thanksgiving? Had he even discussed with his brother doing this? Had he EVER had Thanksgiving with his brother within the past 10 years or so?

What is the significance in the two questions? I am not seeing any relativity. jmo