CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #42

[TheDuchess]

I have a question that perhaps only AZGrandma can answer, but I thought I would throw it out there. It just amazes me that this man, MR, who I consider to be one of the most reprehensible people I've ever seen, managed to be married to not one, but two women who I consider to be two of the most beautiful, intelligent and loving mothers I've seen.

Did Mark once have a different personality? Was he once a loving husband and father? Or was he able to mask his true personality during those earlier years? Or was it more of a back and forth kind of thing? I am not sure how long MR and AZ were married, but think ER said she was married to him for 17 years! He obviously had some good qualities in him that they saw, or like I said, was a very good "actor."

I guess I am just seeing him from this point and having an extremely difficult time seeing him ever married to either one of these amazing women. If he only realized what a truly lucky man he was to have these women in his life and the beautiful children these women brought into the world for him.

 

[asyousay]

I totally agree, I remember Cory stating that MR never hurt either one of them !!

I have read something where he took a swing at one of them , so he may not of connected with them but he attempted to. And mentally it seems he played mind games if he took them and hid them from there mother. So "emotional hurt" IMO is just as bad :cow:

 

[SCHMAE]

I have a question that perhaps only AZGrandma can answer, but I thought I would throw it out there. It just amazes me that this man, MR, who I consider to be one of the most reprehensible people I've ever seen, managed to be married to not one, but two women who I consider to be two of the most beautiful, intelligent and loving mothers I've seen.

Did Mark once have a different personality? Was he once a loving husband and father? Or was he able to mask his true personality during those earlier years? Or was it more of a back and forth kind of thing? I am not sure how long MR and AZ were married, but think ER said she was married to him for 17 years! He obviously had some good qualities in him that they saw, or like I said, was a very good "actor."

I guess I am just seeing him from this point and having an extremely difficult time seeing him ever married to either one of these amazing women. If he only realized what a truly lucky man he was to have these women in his life and the beautiful children these women brought into the world for him.

For sure we'd have to get confirmation on this but my guess is MR has evolved over the years. What I mean is I doubt the guy we see today is the same guy he was in his youth. He may have been a jerk then but nothing like the person he is today. When we are young we make decisions based on things other than logic and good sense. That may be another reason.

 

[TxLady2]

A couple of weeks ago when my son was out here for a visit, we were out and about town, doing different things. I put things on my FB page like:

I gave my kid a headache,
I showed my kid the hospital he was born at,
Taking my kid out for dinner,
Making my kid work for his dinner by putting up the TV.

All these were real things I actually said on FB that day. I kept calling him "my kid", not my son or by his first name, just "my kid." Should I be arrested????:what: I mean, doesn't that mean I'm guilty of something????

Yep, you should know better since you're on WS!

I had a SIL who always referred to all of her children as "that baby" even when they were grown and had kids of their own! Drove my mother crazy! I don't necessarily refer to mine as "baby" or "kid", but I still say "that boy" in reference to them and they're all grown.

One of my favorite expressions when one of mine does something crazy is, "That boy don't have a lick of sense!" Got that one from my dad. He rarely used his kids' first names when he talked about us and even more rare when he talked TO us. It was "Boy, I'll whip your butt if I catch you doing that again!" Or "Young lady, don't you speak to your mother like that!"

Oh, and we got whippings growing up, too. And smacks with an open hand when we got too sassy. And it wasn't child abuse, it was discipline! But guess what, it taught us respect and how to be decent, courteous and considerate with others. Teaching children manners seems to be a lost art with some parents these days, IMO.

This is not referring to anybody in particular, just general observations.

 

[SuperMom1995]

He has said he "prays" to DR, too. So communication is a general term here.

and you don't pray to someone who is alive.

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

Interesting. If there is a body in there ( i still hope to heck there is not) and it were an accident/ drowning , would it probably be floating and found in that first week? So the idea that is not found still today means it must not be 'floating ' so it is weighted? So sorry because now I'm remembering pages and pages of this very talk and at that time I guess I did not pay enough attention or it was long ago.

Remember that there is probably lots of debris in the lake and a body could easily get caught up.

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

Does MR have an ATV?

I have heard a quad mentioned a couple of times. I don't know if he currently has one though.
This is a question I would like to know the answer to as well.

 

[NC Analyzer]

I have a question that perhaps only AZGrandma can answer, but I thought I would throw it out there. It just amazes me that this man, MR, who I consider to be one of the most reprehensible people I've ever seen, managed to be married to not one, but two women who I consider to be two of the most beautiful, intelligent and loving mothers I've seen.

Did Mark once have a different personality? Was he once a loving husband and father? Or was he able to mask his true personality during those earlier years? Or was it more of a back and forth kind of thing? I am not sure how long MR and AZ were married, but think ER said she was married to him for 17 years! He obviously had some good qualities in him that they saw, or like I said, was a very good "actor."

I guess I am just seeing him from this point and having an extremely difficult time seeing him ever married to either one of these amazing women. If he only realized what a truly lucky man he was to have these women in his life and the beautiful children these women brought into the world for him.

This is much more common than many folks believe. When we are young, we don't often see a person for what and who they are. We are a bit more visceral at that age. Sexual attraction, "chemistry", wanting a relationship, marriage, children; the whole conquest is so much more important than finding someone who meets the criteria of mutual respect, common interests, kindness, compatibility. We don't always recognize that the person we married has deep psychological issues, as we are inexperienced and not trained in psychiatric issues. Sometimes we even believe that it is our fault that things are not going well so we make the effort to "work things out" because by that point, we already have children and as such, we have been conditioned to "work on the marriage". Women especially view a failed marriage as "their fault" and tend to stay longer than they should "for the sake of the children". As we mature, we begin to recognize that it isn't "us", it's simply that we made a bad choice. At that point, we may focus on a career or learn how to avoid confrontation (walk on eggshells), or we may turn to drinking, drugs, affairs, etc. to "escape" the person we live with...all of that to save ourselves.
Some women have a lower threshold than others for living with this. Some get out early and some (typically the ones who blame themselves) stay longer. Other's don't ever recognize they are living with a "monster" and remain for life. Bear in mind, the abuser is always manipulating this situation to create the "ideal" he desires. It is very difficult for anyone who hasn't lived through something like this to completely understand.

 

[SuperMom1995]

Dr. Phil:
How do you feel about him being gone?

MR:
It hurts me… deeply. I mean… I… it tears me up. Dylan is everything to me. My whole world revolves around Dylan, and for him to be missing, I’m lost in this world. I… I… It’s all I can do to get through the day. The only thing that gives me the strength to get through every day is my communicating with him and telling him that today is the day we’re bringing you home.

The only thing that gives me the strength to get through every day is my communicating with him and telling him that today is the day we’re bringing you home.
_
Respectfully he is not talking to him but talking about talking to him and oddly says "today is the day we're bringing you home" which IMO sounds like bringing a body home, not an alive person. :sigh:___

 

[*Lash*]

I have a few questions and/or thoughts.

MR was asked on DP about violence and taking the kids. While he answered he brought up accusations of ER's drinking as one reason he had taken the kids. Unless it was cut, DP did not ask ER about a drinking problem nor did she respond. In my opinion, at that point DP made a mistake. Even though DP said he wasn't there to take sides this likely appeared to MR that DP was indeed taking sides. Why didn't DP ask ER about these allegations?

Then the phone call claims back and forth between MR/ER. We all know it can easily be proven by showing cell phone records. Many text messages have been provided in this case. To squash this argument, phone records could easily be shown. I'm not sure what the truth is here regarding the phone calls. It could easily be proven MR is lying, why not put it out there?

 

[NC Analyzer]

The only thing that gives me the strength to get through every day is my communicating with him and telling him that today is the day we’re bringing you home.
_
Respectfully he is not talking to him but talking about talking to him and oddly says "today is the day we're bringing you home" which IMO sounds like bringing a body home, not an alive person. :sigh:___

Yes. And that is what I found "very chilling". JUST MY OPINION AND OBSERVATIONS!!!

 

[SCHMAE]

The only thing that gives me the strength to get through every day is my communicating with him and telling him that today is the day we’re bringing you home.
_
Respectfully he is not talking to him but talking about talking to him and oddly says "today is the day we're bringing you home" which IMO sounds like bringing a body home, not an alive person. :sigh:___

What is this ?

 

[TxLady2]

Just wondering. We don't use "kid" or "boy" where I live (although I have been other places that do use that). But I have noticed that, for a lot of people, it is "Come on, *name*" when they are rooting and "Way to go, son." when a good play happens. But almost everyone calls their child by name around here. I happen to call mine by name or nickname, whatever happens.

I use my sons' first names when I'm talking to them, most of the time. When we're joking around it might be, "Boy, I raised you better than that!" or something similar.

When we use expressions like "that boy" or "this child" when talking to other people, it's nearly always someone we know very well, a relative or a good friend. They understand because they do the same thing. If I'm talking to someone I don't know very well, I usually use their first names. In public, like at a sporting event, we don't embarrass our kids around other people.

It's not distancing to us, it's actually a term of endearment, it signifies a deep emotion, like pride that this is "MY child." Like, if my neighbor is visiting and I say something like, "That boy just will not clean his room!" I'm saying, "He may be a slob, but he's MINE and I love him anyway!" It's hard to explain, and even harder for one to understand who was not born and raised around here.

 

[Kimster]

It's rough when still working a case where links and videos are starting to vanish. It's hard to back up what you say if you can no longer get the links.

Thanks for all the time you spent looking. I know Cory said that Mark had never hurt him or Dylan. We had a big discussion about it back around threads # 23 or 24, I think. And now, with it still being relevant, it's going to be impossible to discuss it again.

That happens in a lot of cases and it sure is annoying! What makes it a Catch 22 are the articles where we need to snip to 10% for copyright and then those are updated later. :doh:

 

[Salem]

~Respectfully snipped~

Elaine did not know what?..There is nothing indicating that Elaine was unaware of concerns brought to the judge, IMO nothing whatsoever indicating such..in fact when Melissa Blasius was so badly wanting to know what it was that Dylan said in those chambers to the judge and asking Elaine wasn't she dying to know as well, Elaine very simply replied that she knew what was said by Dylan to the judge.. .

Hey Smooth - you need to link up this statement, please. I don't remember ER ever saying she knew, I must have missed that somewhere.

Thanks,

Salem

 

[Salem]

I have a few questions and/or thoughts.

MR was asked on DP about violence and taking the kids. While he answered he brought up accusations of ER's drinking as one reason he had taken the kids. Unless it was cut, DP did not ask ER about a drinking problem nor did she respond. In my opinion, at that point DP made a mistake. Even though DP said he wasn't there to take sides this likely appeared to MR that DP was indeed taking sides. Why didn't DP ask ER about these allegations?

Then the phone call claims back and forth between MR/ER. We all know it can easily be proven by showing cell phone records. Many text messages have been provided in this case. To squash this argument, phone records could easily be shown. I'm not sure what the truth is here regarding the phone calls. It could easily be proven MR is lying, why not put it out there?

I agree. Mainly because if MR were to be caught in a proven lie, where the proof could actually be shown to him, I'm thinking it would penetrate some of that outer shell and get him stirred up. It would have been interesting.

Salem

 

[Redux]

What is this ?

We were talking about this in the last thread.

Here's what I had posted:
"Right, it's so weird and stilted sounding.

I think what jumps out at me is when he says, "And that's the struggle we all have" or in a couple of other interviews (like DP), "And that's the question we all have to ask".

I know people use all kinds of words, but these two sentences are just so odd and stilted sounding to me. It's such a round about way of asking, where's Dylan, it's like he can't bring himself to say that.

MOO and all."

And here's what Psychic Sleuth said in response:
"By using the words 'we all' he is deflecting any blame away from himself and putting it unto others. "

 

[missrugby]

I have a question that perhaps only AZGrandma can answer, but I thought I would throw it out there. It just amazes me that this man, MR, who I consider to be one of the most reprehensible people I've ever seen, managed to be married to not one, but two women who I consider to be two of the most beautiful, intelligent and loving mothers I've seen.

Did Mark once have a different personality? Was he once a loving husband and father? Or was he able to mask his true personality during those earlier years? Or was it more of a back and forth kind of thing? I am not sure how long MR and AZ were married, but think ER said she was married to him for 17 years! He obviously had some good qualities in him that they saw, or like I said, was a very good "actor."

I guess I am just seeing him from this point and having an extremely difficult time seeing him ever married to either one of these amazing women. If he only realized what a truly lucky man he was to have these women in his life and the beautiful children these women brought into the world for him.

Thanks for asking this because I have wanted to!

 

[Kimster]

I'm going through notes and have a couple of things to mention.

1) Peter H. is not an allowed site on WS. However, we would like to open a thread in the private forum to discuss the interview that is being reported to occur tonight. Until then, please keep that under your hat and look for the thread in the Parking Lot.

2) If any of your posts are missing and you don't know why, please contact a moderator privately.

:tyou:

 

[SCHMAE]

We were talking about this in the last thread.

Here's what I had posted:
"Right, it's so weird and stilted sounding.

I think what jumps out at me is when he says, "And that's the struggle we all have" or in a couple of other interviews (like DP), "And that's the question we all have to ask".

I know people use all kinds of words, but these two sentences are just so odd and stilted sounding to me. It's such a round about way of asking, where's Dylan, it's like he can't bring himself to say that.

MOO and all."

And here's what Psychic Sleuth said in response:
"By using the words 'we all' he is deflecting any blame away from himself and putting it unto others. "

Or could he accidentally letting it slip that he's got an accomplice?