CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #6

[Camdenres]

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[Seek&Find]

For some reason I am being protective of dad...it just seemed a little strange that mom would make statements right away almost pointing fingers at dad...

S&BBM

Iirc, mom didn't state her concerns re: dad until days after Dylan was reported missing; it wasn't "right away".

Moo

 

[Amster]

I would have to agree with you. I have seen this is my professional work as well and, as we were discussing domestic batterers in an earlier thread, I'll just throw it out there that domestic batterers often used minor children as pawns in divorce proceedings because it was the one last thing the abuser had control over and the one last way he could hurt his victim/ex-wife.

Battering can be emotional as well as physical.....and, batterers can be male or female. Just saying....:twocents:

 

[vasportsmom]

For some reason I am being protective of dad...it just seemed a little strange that mom would make statements right away almost pointing fingers at dad....I think, if it were me, and I wanted my ex to come clean the LAST thing I would do would be to put him on the defensive and esp making those statements public...You know how something just hits you wrong the very first time you hear it, before it has been analyzed over and over? That is how I felt when I heard her the first time....it was just really strange to me, like I had been kicked in the gut....

JMO opinion!! Of course!

Thank you! I had that exact same reaction. Until about Thursday I was adamant in my anger at ER for those statements and that really fueled my desire to take a stand for MR.

I'm no longer standing for MR and he has made statements that made me feel like I had been sucker punched but I still have issues with what ER choose to put out there.

ETA: though as Seek pointed out, those statements from ER were not in the early days. They came nearly a week into the disappearance IIRC.


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[Camdenres]

I guess only Mom knows the answer to that. Perhaps she regrets it? She hasn't said anything more that's negative thankfully. I guess one never knows when far away and gets a call like that how they will react.

Very true and I am pretty sure I would go nuts and would certainly not like to be judged for actions or statements in that moment....I actually thought she said them in an interview...so if it was her first statements upon learning of him missing she is def off the hook for that in my book!

 

[hogwash]

i have sent you the information on this but just in case anyone ever wants to change settings click on your user control panel and you can change a lot of things there to even include the color of the page.

thanks !!

 

[Wendy101]

IMO the only way LE can say Dylan did NOT run away, is if there is no scent of him leaving that home.. Since the Mom had to bring his scent in to deliver it for use, I would think Dylan didn't even enter that home, and that is why LE is confident he did NOT run away..

 

[momrids6]

I don't think we have this information yet? I have not seen anything in MSM that says someone from the store remembered seeing them, or the neighbors saw them return home that evening or anything. It would be nice to have some idea of the last time Dylan was seen by someone other than his father.

In such a small community I would think they would be remembered from the store if they went shopping on the way home, kwim?

Salem

I would think so-in a small store in town. Many have mentioned a Walmart that is about an hour from home. No information found.

 

[Elley Mae]

Its just so sad that a child is forced to have to spend time with any parent in a divorce to me, especially a 13 yr old. Speaking for myself, I could/would never go to a lawyer to force my child to come visit me. What good could be gained by that? But that's just me.

 

[Bravo]

[/B]



Very true and I am pretty sure I would go nuts and would certainly not like to be judged for actions or statements in that moment....I actually thought she said them in an interview...so if it was her first statements upon learning of him missing she is def off the hook for that in my book!

I dont think they were made right off the hop. Days in i believe. I should clarify. Perhaps she gets this horrific call. Doesn't want to believe Dad did something but things are not adding up. Whatever their history is may be a contributing factor. As days go by she is thinking the worst of her ex. Loses it and says what she says. MOO

 

[scorekeeper]

Its just so sad that a child is forced to have to spend time with any parent in a divorce to me, especially a 13 yr old. Speaking for myself, I could/would never go to a lawyer to force my child to come visit me. What good could be gained by that? But that's just me.

to prove a point?

 

[Linda7NJ]

Someone on the last page asked why if Dylan were abducted all of his things would be missing. Just a thought:
I floated the idea that maybe there is an adult living near MR that befriended Dylan while he was still living in the area...maybe he's a neighbor, maybe he's someone that Dylan met fishing (?). Anyway, maybe Dylan's dad did make him change his plans with his friends and maybe Dylan was angry & gathered his things and went to this person's house thinking he could get a ride to his friend's or whatever. and this person unbeknownst to him had ill intentions that he had just never acted upon while Dylan was still living in the area.
Just an explanation of how he could have been "abducted" and all his things be missing too.

defense attorneys love stuff like this.

 

[scorekeeper]

I would think so-in a small store in town. Many have mentioned a Walmart that is about an hour from home. No information found.

Weird, isn't it? I would think that everyone locally in Durango, Bayfield and Vellacito know each other. I think the family has lived there for quite some time. I know mom and kids moved to CS in July.

Why didn't someone get quoted in the paper or even leave a comment on an article to the effect...."i saw them shopping; I saw them having dinner; I waited on them at the drive-thru; I saw them go by; I saw them arrive home" Why, why, why????

 

[kkdj]

Its just so sad that a child is forced to have to spend time with any parent in a divorce to me, especially a 13 yr old. Speaking for myself, I could/would never go to a lawyer to force my child to come visit me. What good could be gained by that? But that's just me.

Do we know that he didn't want to ever visit his father? If so did his dad know it?
Perhaps he did like visiting his dad, and that way he could also visit his friends.
Jmo

 

[cluciano63]

IMO the only way LE can say Dylan did NOT run away, is if there is no scent of him leaving that home.. Since the Mom had to bring his scent in to deliver it for use, I would think Dylan didn't even enter that home, and that is why LE is confident he did NOT run away..

But does "run away" have the same meaning as "left the house" to LE? This is where I am totally confused. Are they saying he did not leave the house at all? And if that is NOT what they are saying, then could he have left the house and then found trouble?

I am not comfortable with the way LE has been phrasing things; how can they say he did not meet with an accident once leaving the house, for instance?

And if they really do know for sure that he did not leave the house alive, then why no arrest?? It is like they are pointing a finger at Dad but not admitting that they are.

 

[Camdenres]

I do not want to get graphic but I guess everyone is going there in their mind ...I can see how a parent hits, shakes, kicks, etc... a small child baby to the point of hurting him/her so bad that they panic and kill the child to cover it up or they acutally kill the child during their rage but a 13 year old boy that would have to be, IMO, some really violent rage to hurt him to that point.....which then takes me to he was intentionally killed and I guess the fact of that happening as a premeditated act...I just cannot get there in my mind...you would think I could with all the horrible things we see and hear every day...but I just cannot....YET!

 

[Bravo]

Weird, isn't it? I would think that everyone locally in Durango, Bayfield and Vellacito know each other. I think the family has lived there for quite some time. I know mom and kids moved to CS in July.

Why didn't someone get quoted in the paper or even leave a comment on an article to the effect...."i saw them shopping; I saw them having dinner; I waited on them at the drive-thru; I saw them go by; I saw them arrive home" Why, why, why????

I know. It's like Stepford lol the whole town is silent. Silent about everything and anything.

 

[Eileen730]

For some reason I am being protective of dad...it just seemed a little strange that mom would make statements right away almost pointing fingers at dad....I think, if it were me, and I wanted my ex to come clean the LAST thing I would do would be to put him on the defensive and esp making those statements public...You know how something just hits you wrong the very first time you hear it, before it has been analyzed over and over? That is how I felt when I heard her the first time....it was just really strange to me, like I had been kicked in the gut....

JMO opinion!! Of course!

I understand Mom is angry but I did not take her words as gospel.
Her son is missing and went missing on Dad's watch. I can understandher anger.
I just think the last person to see a missing child needs a good looking at!
be it parent friend or stranger.

She knows this man. We dont!
JMO

 

[Rougelatete]

Re: domestic batterers. I was referring to my professional work, which has only included male domestic batterers. Of course, women can be domestic batterers as well and domestic abuse can occur in any type of relationship (same sex, parental/child, etc). Sorry that wasn't clear.

 

[pinto]

Weird, isn't it? I would think that everyone locally in Durango, Bayfield and Vellacito know each other. I think the family has lived there for quite some time. I know mom and kids moved to CS in July....

Well, Durango is probably 17 or 18,000 population ... not a big city or anything, but not that small, either.