A source familiar with Watts tells PEOPLE that he has finally taken responsibility for his actions. “He has nothing to do but think,” says the source. “He thinks about what he did every day. He is tormented by his past and the mistakes he made.”
The source tells PEOPLE that Watts has a long road ahead of him. “He’s left alone with his thoughts for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Every day. Birthdays. Holidays. Special occasions. He’s there in jail, in his cell, thinking about what happened. He’s in his own private hell.”
Killer Dad Chris Watts Is 'Tormented By His Past' in Prison, Says Source
Watts has since blamed the affair -- and, in so many words, Kessinger -- with putting him under a spell of sorts.
In July, a woman named Anna -- who speaks regularly with Watts in prison -- appeared in an episode of HLN's Lies, Crimes & Video, saying that, "Chris feels that if the affair would have never happened and [Nicole Kessinger] would have never came into his life, that the murders would never have happened.
"He thinks that she had this strong control over him, that he describes like a ‘leash’ that he wasn’t able to get off of or get away from," she continued, "and he thinks that that has played a role in what happened."
(Of course, to a lot of people who hear this, it sounds like he's more or less trying to pass the blame.)
Chris Watts 'Tormented' By Murders, Says Source
Chris is incapable of any type of accountability. I don’t usually like blaming parents because I believe that even the best parents can have kids who turn out horrible, because I also believe that even the worst parents can have kids who turn out great. But Chris Watts’ parents clearly coddled and excused him for everything and taught him to blame everyone else for his actions.
He spent the first few months of the aftermath of his crime blaming Shanann for her own death. Now it’s clear that the morally challenged women who correspond with him have helped him see how this is really NK’s fault!
But none of it is Chris’ fault!
Yes, Shanann had a strong personality and she probably did control him to a large degree, but I know men like Chris and they like that, because they don’t like thinking for themselves and it also relieves them of having to be responsible for their decisions.
He avoided discussing any of the issues he had with Shanann and their marriage. I’m pretty sure the reason she went away for the summer was partly a trial separation or at least an attempt at diffusing the tension in their marriage. (Which there’s nothing wrong with...sometimes space and distance help a lot.)
But instead of Chris actually doing some soul searching, he immediately started looking for something outside himself to make him happy...like he always has. And NK happened to be there. He immediately went overboard obsessing over her because he seriously has no ability for emotional regulation.
He loved living that single life all summer and it was going to end. He could see no way out. He didn’t have the balls to actually end the marriage and he didn’t want to give up the relationship with NK. But he knew reality was about to hit hard, because even if Shanann ended the marriage (saving him the actual effort and courage of making the decision), he was still going to have to deal with financial responsibilities and parenting duties, all of which were going to ruin the relationship with NK no matter what.
I’m don’t think he premeditated the scenario itself, but I think he had spent a lot of time thinking about how he could have the life he wanted if Shanann and the kids were gone. Sure, he loved the girls, but he still couldn’t have the relationship with NK that he wanted if he had to be a dad.
I think when Shanann got home, she confronted him and he blew up. All the conflicting emotions he was holding inside for who knows how long just exploded and he strangled her. Once he killed her, I think that’s when he came up with the lame idea of making it seem like she had taken the girls and disappeared after their “emotional conversation” that morning. (Even that is evidence of his complete detachment. Whatever “conversation” they had that morning wasn’t just “emotional”, it was explosive.)
This part is why I don’t think he had any help planning: because if he had, it would have been done better. He wasn’t smart enough to come up with a plan he could get away with and carry it out. Another example of being unable to think for himself.
So first it was Shanann’s fault, then he subtly blamed Bella (“if she just hadn’t found Shanann dead, maybe he wouldn’t have had to kill the girls, too”), and now it’s NK.
But it’s never Chris.