A source familiar with Watts tells PEOPLE that he has finally taken responsibility for his actions. “He has nothing to do but think,” says the source. “He thinks about what he did every day. He is tormented by his past and the mistakes he made.”
The source tells PEOPLE that Watts has a long road ahead of him. “He’s left alone with his thoughts for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Every day. Birthdays. Holidays. Special occasions. He’s there in jail, in his cell, thinking about what happened. He’s in his own private hell.”
Killer Dad Chris Watts Is 'Tormented By His Past' in Prison, Says Source
Watts has since blamed the affair -- and, in so many words, Kessinger -- with putting him under a spell of sorts.
In July, a woman named Anna -- who speaks regularly with Watts in prison -- appeared in an episode of HLN's Lies, Crimes & Video, saying that, "Chris feels that if the affair would have never happened and [Nicole Kessinger] would have never came into his life, that the murders would never have happened.
"
He thinks that she had this strong control over him, that he describes like a ‘leash’ that he wasn’t able to get off of or get away from," she continued, "and he thinks that that has played a role in what happened."
(Of course, to a lot of people who hear this, it sounds like he's more or less trying to pass the blame.)
Chris Watts 'Tormented' By Murders, Says Source