Closet narcissism:
n 1993, Masterson proposed two categories for pathological
narcissism, "exhibitionist" and "closet".
[1] Those with both styles of disorder fail to adequately develop an age- and phase- appropriate self because of defects in the quality of psychological nurturing provided by the mother or caregiver. The exhibitionist narcissist is similar to that described in
DSM-IV and differs from the closet narcissist in several important ways.
The closet narcissist is more likely to be described as having a deflated, inadequate self perception and greater awareness of emptiness within, and seeks to mend this with an unquestioning dedication to an idealized other. The exhibitionist narcissist would be described as having an inflated, grandiose self perception with little or no conscious awareness of the emptiness within. Such a person would assume that this condition was normal but seeks the admiration of others for reassurance.
There is an analogy here with Kohut's "idealizing" and "mirror" narcissists (Masterson's "closet" and "exhibitionistic" narcissists), and a relationship to the developmental theory of Daniel Stern.
“covert narcissist” (Akhtar & Thompson, 1982; Wink, 1991), “closet narcissist” (Masterson, 1993), the “hypervigilant narcissist” (Gabbard, 2009), and the “hypersensitive narcissist” (Hendin & Cheek, 1997).
the closet narcissist is obsessed with his or her unfilled expectations of the self. Consequently, the closet narcissist is absorbed in grandiose fantasies that are unrealistic given the individual’s lack of initiative and self-confidence (
ties in financial irresponsibility
defining features of the closet narcissist include a shy and modest demeanor, hypersensitivity to criticism and failure, and shame related to unachieved goals. In addition, the closet narcissist often admires and idealizes those who are successful; however, he or she secretly experiences envy of and resentment toward them (Wink, 1991).
Deep down they feel inadequate for not being perfect, they cover their feelings by winning the approval of others by feeling special to them. However, when others do not provide the validation or approval they seek, ace the pain of an empty self, reliant on others to feel good about themselves. So, they fall apart when not feeling acknowledged by their partner, since they are unable to cope with how they feel about themselves.
I thought the teachers comment about him being a perfectionist interesting and her endless adoration of him on SM fits the bill
https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/874f/924ea2922255ab33981a84945c85fc2d9376.pdf