We need so much DV education.
Most DV happens behind closed door.
Frequently both parties locked in DV keep it the secret. The victimizer, for obvious reasons. The victim, for many complicated reasons. Believes it was an accident, wants to believe it won't happen again. Internalizes the reason it happened (I shouldn't have made him mad...), doesn't want others to form a poor opinion of the victimizer, isn't ready to leave, etc, etc, etc.
When Barry says " the only time" his weird reflex clipped her, he apologized and held her.
Boy, there's a pattern we've never seen before.
Classic DV.
It happened, I said sorry, now it's on you to forgive me. 7 x 70... and it was only an accident. I didn't do it on purpose. Listen, you know I love you.
And round and round it goes.
It is TRAGIC that so many people believe that it's not DV if it's not constant. It's precisely because it's not usually constant that it's so effective -- many women don't, won't or can't leave -- because it's not constant.
That damaged door frame was Barry's door to. I wonder if LE asked him aviut it directly. How'd that happen, Barry? Team of wild ox?
Poor Suzanne. She was only just learning for herself that control is not love....
He said he love her to death.
Or controlled her to it.
Such a sad ending for such a beautiful light.
JMO
DV/ Abuse-- More Awareness
Hubby was taken to ER this past weekend.
ER restrooms now have a red sticker ( a huge roll of them) by the TP holder.
On the other side of TP holder is a note/message taped to the wall.
"If you are afraid for your life, or have been hit, abused, cannot talk openly out of fear, put a red sticker on the bottom of urine example cup.""
I was so happy to see this and said so to the nurses and admins at the desk.
The next day, after hubby was admitted to a room night before, I went up to see him and spend the day.
He informed me that nurses and doctors searched his entire body for bruises and signs of abuse the night before and he said they looked "every where" in places he was surprised at.
This is now a COMMON PRACTICE of any new patient admitted to the hospital.
Hidden places **
AS most of us here on WS know, we realize that abusers do not always leave signs of abuse openly, such as face, arms, so apparently now doctors, hospitals and LE now look everywhere on a person.
I said, well, good.. I am so glad they are being proactive with patients.
Then the daytime nurse came in and she follows true crime as we had Dateline on the TV in his room.
She gave me a few names of some wonderful local speakers who speak out and about on child abuse, DV , etc but also.... how to spot clues on Sex trafficking.
The nurse then told me about the different signs they are trained to look for DV and Trafficking.
Well, I was impressed, to say the least, that they are more aware of this awful violence that can happen to someone.
I am trying to see if I can get their hospital speaker to speak in public as she seems to be a spokesperson in the medical field and for medical employees to go to her seminars, training, etc only.
I would love her to be open to speaking in the public also and would willingly pay/provide venue for this.
anywhoo... didnt mean to be so long winded, but it irks me to no end that DV cannot be brought up in Suzanne's case as the more awareness there is now about it, and the number of people no longer alive due to it, well, this is just all sorts of jacked up that it cannot be shown in court for justice for Suzanne.
OK..off my soap box.
Just wanting to share that I was glad of more awareness, even if it's NOT allowed in the Judges courtroom regarding Suzanne and IMO, it should be. !!!!!
very much for your post w link.*
Whew.
