Do you think the other side of Cindy is worse than we think?

[Tammie63]

I think Cindy wants more than anything to have a picture perfect family. I think she had a daughter with a personality disorder that made that very difficult. I think she tried her best to maintain appearances...to fix things that weren't perfect...but as a result ended up enabling Casey by covering for her time and time again. Casey turned into a narcissistic little princess that screams and gets her way. Nothing is ever HER fault. I think Cindy stepped in to help raise Caylee when it was obvious that Casey was not up to the task, and again, because she wanted to keep up appearances that everything was picture perfect in the A household. I do believe they had knock-down dragout fights when Casey did something wrong...yet I doubt any consequences were ever imposed. So the behavior and enabling continued. I think there was resentment on both sides. IMO, I see them both as victims and as the causes of their own problems.

So well said TxRose
:clap::clap::clap::clap:

 

[chefmom]

I see is a mother that was over worked and over stressed with dead beat kids, a half a** husand, ailing parents and a granddaughter that she adored. I think she probably over tried to make things better for Caylee then what she could do for KC. Isn't that what grandparents are for... to spoil their grandchildren.

Look I am sure she and KC had conflict. It seems to me that CA's parents raised her right. I am sure they pushed or helped CA to get a nursing degree so that she could be a productive adult. I think this is what CA expected out of KC. I really don't feel comfortable blaming or pointing fingers at parents for their ADULT childrens action. I am guilt of it though. KC knew right from wrong.

Is she worse then what we thought... I don't think so. I think she is just the hub with all these spokes (GA, KC, LA, Parents, Job ect) coming out of her that EXPECTS and RELIES on her to manage EVERYTHING!

And nobody helped her, not KC nor GA. They were all just "Gimme, gimme, gimme!" I keep going back to that first night on the 911 calls. No matter what she has done in the meantime to protect KC, as I'm sure she is doing, the anguish in her voice that night was very real. She loved that baby enough to call LE on her own daughter. That was real!

 

[TxRose]

And nobody helped her, not KC nor GA. They were all just "Gimme, gimme, gimme!" I keep going back to that first night on the 911 calls. No matter what she has done in the meantime to protect KC, as I'm sure she is doing, the anguish in her voice that night was very real. She loved that baby enough to call LE on her own daughter. That was real!

You can say what you want about Cindy, but she loved Caylee and she loves Casey. As you say, her anguish is real and her sorrow is sincere. I don't agree with some of the things she has said and done during this ordeal, things I could never do myself....but she is a grieving grandparent and parent. And I agree with you that she seems to have been forced into wearing the pants in that family. The more I learn about G and C I realize how Cindy had no choice but to step up and take charge. Too bad she wasn't strong enough to impose consequences on both of them.

 

[mikeysmommom]

I see is a mother that was over worked and over stressed with dead beat kids, a half a** husand, ailing parents and a granddaughter that she adored. I think she probably over tried to make things better for Caylee then what she could do for KC. Isn't that what grandparents are for... to spoil their grandchildren.

Look I am sure she and KC had conflict. It seems to me that CA's parents raised her right. I am sure they pushed or helped CA to get a nursing degree so that she could be a productive adult. I think this is what CA expected out of KC. I really don't feel comfortable blaming or pointing fingers at parents for their ADULT childrens action. I am guilt of it though. KC knew right from wrong.

Is she worse then what we thought... I don't think so. I think she is just the hub with all these spokes (GA, KC, LA, Parents, Job ect) coming out of her that EXPECTS and RELIES on her to manage EVERYTHING!

WOW very well put,thats how I feel too.



I believe Caylee was the light of her life,I know my grandson is my world as it should be.

 

[Whisperer]

Cindy has been trying to hide kc's behavior from others from the beginnning.When kc discovered sex, no control worked after that. They lost what little they had. She took to the streets...Would not surprise me one bit if she came on to Lee. She uses sex as one of her power tools.

Cindy, OTTH, has learned how to stop herself. Her anger is intense but she will learn to control it as she ages. She has pets and they appear to be well, which is a good sign. No, I don't think her other side is worse, just different.

 

[chefmom]

You can say what you want about Cindy, but she loved Caylee and she loves Casey. As you say, her anguish is real and her sorrow is sincere. I don't agree with some of the things she has said and done during this ordeal, things I could never do myself....but she is a grieving grandparent and parent. And I agree with you that she seems to have been forced into wearing the pants in that family. The more I learn about G and C I realize how Cindy had no choice but to step up and take charge. Too bad she wasn't strong enough to impose consequences on both of them.

I agree. She has definately done and said some things that make me wonder what in the world is she trying to do, but I believe everything she has done and may still be doing, is out of desperation and love for her family that is falling apart before her very eyes. I'm not saying I condone it, because I don't! I'm just saying I see what drives her to do the things that she does, be they right or wrong at this point. MOO.

 

[chefmom]

Cindy has been trying to hide kc's behavior from others from the beginnning.When kc discovered sex, no control worked after that. They lost what little they had. She took to the streets...Would not surprise me one bit if she came on to Lee. She uses sex as one of her power tools.

Cindy, OTTH, has learned how to stop herself. Her anger is intense but she will learn to control it as she ages. She has pets and they appear to be well, which is a good sign. No, I don't think her other side is worse, just different.

And if her other side is worse, it is because KC and GA have driven her nuts!!!

:crazy:

 

[cuppy199]

I certainly dont agree with CA on some of the thing she does in this case but no way do I blame her for the way KC is today.Did she enable her maybe but honestly IMO no matter what CA did it wouldnt of made a difference.KC still would be the same heartless person she is today.Its not always as simple as black and white sometimes people are simply evil and not even love of a parent can change them no matter how hard we try.JMO

 

[Tammie63]

snipped by moi

I believe Caylee was the light of her life,I know my grandson is my world as it should be.

Can you imagine coming home every day to the BS. I am sure her highlight of the day was Caylee. She could relax, destress and just enjoy playtime with a her, a instant de-stresser. The reason I beleive this the last tape of Caylee at the nursing home. CA brought her long to visit her parents. She enjoyed being with her.

 

[TxRose]

I agree. She has definately done and said some things that make me wonder what in the world is she trying to do, but I believe everything she has done and may still be doing, is out of desperation and love for her family that is falling apart before her very eyes. I'm not saying I condone it, because I don't! I'm just saying I see what drives her to do the things that she does, be they right or wrong at this point. MOO.

I think we are on the same page! We don't agree with or condone what she has done, but we feel she is attempting to do it generally for the right reason. She wants to hold her family together. Unfortunately for her...the harder she tries to control things, the worse it seems to get. And I think she is coming to the realization that she can't control it and hold it all together anymore.

 

[chefmom]

I think we are on the same page! We don't agree with or condone what she has done, but we feel she is attempting to do it generally for the right reason. She wants to hold her family together. Unfortunately for her...the harder she tries to control things, the worse it seems to get. And I think she is coming to the realization that she can't control it and hold it all together anymore.

Yes, and I see a nervous breakdown in her near future. Honestly, I'm surprised she hasn't broken already. I think the slight chance that Caylee was actually somewhere alive somewhere kept her going before. And I do think she believed it, not completely, but because she wanted to believe it. Now that that is gone, I don't see her being able to take much more.

 

[TxRose]

I certainly dont agree with CA on some of the thing she does in this case but no way do I blame her for the way KC is today.Did she enable her maybe but honestly IMO no matter what CA did it wouldnt of made a difference.KC still would be the same heartless person she is today.Its not always as simple as black and white sometimes people are simply evil and not even love of a parent can change them no matter how hard we try.JMO

I agree that there are some people who are just born evil. But I have personal experience with a family member very similar to Casey. Even the same age. She was raised with no consequences...nothing was ever her fault. No empathy for anyone but herself. Lied, stole money from family, had trouble staying in school and keeping a job - despite being extremely bright, etc. They thought she had a personality disorder, and even had a doctor diagnose her as bi-polar. She is now in prison, and has been for 3 years. Best thing that could ever have happened to her. She has finally faced a consequence for her actions and it has truly changed her. This is someone I would have SWORN would never change. She is not on any medication and has not received any therapy - her diagnosis was clearly hogwash. Once there she realized nobody could bail her out of this jam, like they had in the past. She could whine all she wanted but it wouldn't make a difference. Now, she has come to the realization that she alone is responsible for the choices she makes. She has sincere remorse for what she has done, and has a completely different outlook on life. It didn't happen overnight, but the limits that were suddenly placed on her and the change in how she was treated made a completely different person out of her.

So that is why I sometimes feel that enabling Casey when she was growing up may, have played a key role in the person she is today.

 

[chefmom]

I agree that there are some people who are just born evil. But I have personal experience with a family member very similar to Casey. Even the same age. She was raised with no consequences...nothing was ever her fault. No empathy for anyone but herself. Lied, stole money from family, had trouble staying in school and keeping a job - despite being extremely bright, etc. They thought she had a personality disorder, and even had a doctor diagnose her as bi-polar. She is now in prison, and has been for 3 years. Best thing that could ever have happened to her. She has finally faced a consequence for her actions and it has truly changed her. This is someone I would have SWORN would never change. She is not on any medication and has not received any therapy - her diagnosis was clearly hogwash. Once there she realized nobody could bail her out of this jam, like they had in the past. She could whine all she wanted but it wouldn't make a difference. Now, she has come to the realization that she alone is responsible for the choices she makes. She has sincere remorse for what she has done, and has a completely different outlook on life. It didn't happen overnight, but the limits that were suddenly placed on her and the change in how she was treated made a completely different person out of her.

So that is why I sometimes feel that enabling Casey when she was growing up may, have played a key role in the person she is today.

I also have a family member who shared many of these same traits, same age. Extremely bright but dropped out of school 6 months before graduation, gravitated toward the wrong/party crowd. Just over 4 years ago she informed me she was pregnant. She had a beautiful little boy who has been a centerpiece of my life ever since. She and the father, who had the same issues, didn't stay together after the birth and someone had to step in and look after the baby properly. She had no job, no car, and a bad attitude, and he was going to jail for a while. I dropped a lot of my work and have always been ther to take care of him. I bought his formula and diapers when he was little, and helped her get a job, save for a car, and get her life back on track for this babys sake. When daddy came out and was back on the scene, I made it clear that I could take this child in a heartbeat if they weren't up to doing the right thing. Thank god they have! I still watch him everyday while they work, but they have both changed dramatically and I am proud of both of them. It wasn't easy, but it can be done. In some circumstances. I don't think that CA ever had a chance with KC, no matter what she did.

 

[Zoe Bogart]

I can't believe I'm going to take up for Cindy but she hasn't murdered anyone. Choking her vile, hateful, thieving daughter isn't anywhere near as horrible as what that same daughter did to Caylee, an innocent child who couldn't defend herself and trusted the evil Casey.

No, Cindy may have her faults, she may have a temper, but dealing with Casey in a less than perfect manner doesn't make her the devil. Cindy is a complex person with many layers, unlike Casey who is truly Satanic.

Cindy was a fulltime mother to Caylee. She can't be all bad.

 

[TxRose]

I also have a family member who shared many of these same traits, same age. Extremely bright but dropped out of school 6 months before graduation, gravitated toward the wrong/party crowd. Just over 4 years ago she informed me she was pregnant. She had a beautiful little boy who has been a centerpiece of my life ever since. She and the father, who had the same issues, didn't stay together after the birth and someone had to step in and look after the baby properly. She had no job, no car, and a bad attitude, and he was going to jail for a while. I dropped a lot of my work and have always been ther to take care of him. I bought his formula and diapers when he was little, and helped her get a job, save for a car, and get her life back on track for this babys sake. When daddy came out and was back on the scene, I made it clear that I could take this child in a heartbeat if they weren't up to doing the right thing. Thank god they have! I still watch him everyday while they work, but they have both changed dramatically and I am proud of both of them. It wasn't easy, but it can be done. In some circumstances. I don't think that CA ever had a chance with KC, no matter what she did.

Thank goodness that they had you. I am sure if they aren't grateful now, they will be.

I obviously don't know if Casey had been raised differently if she would have been a different person. But I can't help but feel that the enabling made her behavior worse. I can't help but think there were signs of Casey's behavior prior to her having Caylee. That is when they should have stepped in and confronted her. Once Caylee was in the picture, I honestly understand that caused great concern for Cindy. How could she force Casey's hand and not put Caylee's welfare at risk? She was walking on eggshells by that time.

 

[DotsEyes]

KC pushed everyone to the brink of reason and then pushed them over
the edge .

Chilling.

 

[TxRose]

I can't believe I'm going to take up for Cindy but she hasn't murdered anyone. Choking her vile, hateful, thieving daughter isn't anywhere near as horrible as what that same daughter did to Caylee, an innocent child who couldn't defend herself and trusted the evil Casey.

No, Cindy may have her faults, she may have a temper, but dealing with Casey in a less than perfect manner doesn't make her the devil. Cindy is a complex person with many layers, unlike Casey who is truly Satanic.

Oh I hope I didn't come across as saying she was the devil. She isn't at all. Casey's choices were still her own, no matter how she was raised. I was simply trying to say that a lack of consequences, and allowing her lies to go unchallenged probably contributed to the person Casey has become. I think Cindy's heart has always been in the right place, even when her actions were not always what I would choose or agree with.

 

[DotsEyes]

Controlling? So what? Someone had to be in control around there, the rest of them couldn't control themselves, much less run a house, a career and feed everyone. Such losers, both GA and KC. Of course she loved Caylee with every ounce of her being, but at age 50 after a long day at work, cooking, cleaning and yard work too, running after a toddler was exhausting.

It doesn't surprise me one bit that CA is in charge of everything in the house. Most women are. Who would let GA handle the money? Come on. The guy gets a disability settlement and instead of paying down some mortgage debt, he gets himself a new car. SHUT UP! Loser. A man who won't work is a loser.

So while CA has Mr. Loser flushing their house down the toilet with some internet BS, her 18 year old sociopthic daughter shows up pregnant and tells her the father is the son of an Evangelical Preacher with an odd website. I bet she was thrilled. So was GA. He didn't even meet JG until the delivery room. Huh? A little tension, you think?

But, CA stepped up to the plate and tried to roll with the punches. And I don't care if she did want KC to keep Caylee. Caylee was blood. Good grief, I can't give away a cat.

Abusive? Really? Ms. KC and her child lived in a very nice house, in a very nice neighborhood, with beautiful things, a pool, free room and board and built in babysitters. What was asked in return? Not much. Maybe get a real job or even a marketable skill and show some responsibility at age 22.

There are people standing in line to be abused like that. Millions of people don't have it that good.

CA has a temper. So what?

Is she manipulative, cunning, evil, perverse and twisted? No.

KC abused her mother and father just like she did everyone who ever crossed her path. She held Caylee like ransom and there wasn't anything they could do but suck it up. We saw what happened when they started a little tough love. She killed her ransom.

That was NOT a normal house by any means, there was a homicidal sociopath living there!

What did CA say - "Tit for Tat"? That is not a nice game to play.

 

[Galina]

Controlling? So what? Someone had to be in control around there, the rest of them couldn't control themselves, much less run a house, a career and feed everyone. Such losers, both GA and KC. Of course she loved Caylee with every ounce of her being, but at age 50 after a long day at work, cooking, cleaning and yard work too, running after a toddler was exhausting.

It doesn't surprise me one bit that CA is in charge of everything in the house. Most women are. Who would let GA handle the money? Come on. The guy gets a disability settlement and instead of paying down some mortgage debt, he gets himself a new car. SHUT UP! Loser. A man who won't work is a loser.

So while CA has Mr. Loser flushing their house down the toilet with some internet BS, her 18 year old sociopthic daughter shows up pregnant and tells her the father is the son of an Evangelical Preacher with an odd website. I bet she was thrilled. So was GA. He didn't even meet JG until the delivery room. Huh? A little tension, you think?

But, CA stepped up to the plate and tried to roll with the punches. And I don't care if she did want KC to keep Caylee. Caylee was blood. Good grief, I can't give away a cat.

<snip>

That was NOT a normal house by any means, there was a homicidal sociopath living there!

Agree with you Dotty.

It's good we're discussing the "other side of the coin".... if only to keep it balanced. Though I don't condone Cynthia's general behaviour or morals (good heavens, early on this woman admitted on camera that it's okay to lie) we all agree CA loved her grand-daughter.

What I'm not sure is to what degree CA's attention towards Caylee was deliberately at Casey's expense, and whether CA therefore is partly to blame for what has occurred.

Mmmm.

 

[TrY]

I kind of go back and forth about how I feel about Cindy. From what AH, JG, and TL have said CA doesn't have any problem throwing Casey under the bus. CA had never met AH or TL until July 15, 2008 yet she told both of them what a thief Casey is. Of course she was telling them the truth but it's odd that CA airs her family's dirty laundry to people whom she just met.

Then in the police interviews with CA, she has no problem throwing other people under the bus including AH and JG. Cindy knows Casey stole from AH but still she is taking Casey's side.

And all of those media interviews/soundbites where Cindy badmouths LE and the media and how Cindy backpedals about Casey - those just drove me crazy!

Cindy strikes me as a very controlling person in her own right. But Casey is always manipulating her too. But I believe that CA didn't have anything to do with Caylee's disappearance and murder - that was all Casey's doing.

I do think that CA would have a hard time now putting on a public performance of supporting Casey though and that's why we don't see her in the media spotlight.