Family Press Conferences

[Deleted member 718]

Very sad. I can feel Desiree's desperation. Did anyone watch the clip after Desiree's statement? The reporter mentioned that TH was supposed to be meeting Desiree that day (June 4) to turn Kyron over (they mentioned the highway), and he would be spending the weekend with Tony fishing. This was something I had never heard before. This raised eyebrows for me. For one, Kaine said in earlier interviews that they were going to take Kyron for a treat after school. It didn't seem like something they would do, if they were about to drive a couple of hours to meet Desiree? Does anyone think anything of this new information? Or at least its new information to me...[/QUOTE

"Desiree Young also revealed that the day her son disappeared, his stepmother was supposed to drive him to Eugene to turn him over to his mother and stepfather to spend the weekend in Medford."

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/07/landscaper_wore_wire_asked_ter.html

I have a question with this. Why is it Terri's responsibility to drive Kyron to meet Desiree? Seems to me it would be easier for Kaine to drive Kyron so Terri could stay home with the baby.

Was Terri resentful that it was her duty to shuttle Kyron back and forth?

 

[tehcloser]

Gliving, I think she was jealous of DY and did not want Kaine around her. jmo.

 

[Calliope]

I have a question with this. Why is it Terri's responsibility to drive Kyron to meet Desiree? Seems to me it would be easier for Kaine to drive Kyron so Terri could stay home with the baby.

Was Terri resentful that it was her duty to shuttle Kyron back and forth?

I think there probably was a lot of resentment; was Kaine one who believes a SAHM doesn't really work?

 

[RoughlyCollie]

I have a question with this. Why is it Terri's responsibility to drive Kyron to meet Desiree? Seems to me it would be easier for Kaine to drive Kyron so Terri could stay home with the baby.

Was Terri resentful that it was her duty to shuttle Kyron back and forth?

No one said it was TH's permanent, ongoing duty to drive Kyron to meet Desiree.

TH may have volunteered for the duty this particular day, in fact, because she knew she would not have to make the drive. The simple fact that she had volunteered would make her look good. At this point, if that was the only time she volunteered, it would make her look bad.

There are undoubtedly lots of reasons TH would take a turn (or turns) with the driving duty, including that she may have agreed to do it as one of her contributions to the shared parenting and household responsibilities between herself and KH.

Why would it be easier for KH to do all the driving so TH could stay home with the baby? KH may have wanted to stay home with the baby -- after all, he couldn't spend all day, every day, with her like TH could.

No matter what, TH always had the ability to refuse to drive Kyron if she didn't want to do it. If she agreed to do and resented it, she can't blame anyone except herself for putting her in that position.

 

[Donjeta]

The blended family article said that they used to have Terri's older son with them to be exchanged so maybe it started as partly Terri, partly Kaine doing the driving because it was both of their children being swapped.

Mainly, their relationship has consisted of exchanging kids. Once a month, they would converge at Shari's Restaurant in Springfield and do a swap, with J*** staying with Tarver and his new wife, and Kyron going with Desiree and her husband.

They no longer do that swap with Tarver. Since March, J*** has lived in Roseburg, first with his grandparents and now with Tarver.

 

[For The Kids]

Very sad. I can feel Desiree's desperation. Did anyone watch the clip after Desiree's statement? The reporter mentioned that TH was supposed to be meeting Desiree that day (June 4) to turn Kyron over (they mentioned the highway), and he would be spending the weekend with Tony fishing. This was something I had never heard before. This raised eyebrows for me. For one, Kaine said in earlier interviews that they were going to take Kyron for a treat after school. It didn't seem like something they would do, if they were about to drive a couple of hours to meet Desiree? Does anyone think anything of this new information? Or at least its new information to me...[/QUOTE

"Desiree Young also revealed that the day her son disappeared, his stepmother was supposed to drive him to Eugene to turn him over to his mother and stepfather to spend the weekend in Medford."

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/07/landscaper_wore_wire_asked_ter.html

I have a question with this. Why is it Terri's responsibility to drive Kyron to meet Desiree? Seems to me it would be easier for Kaine to drive Kyron so Terri could stay home with the baby.

Was Terri resentful that it was her duty to shuttle Kyron back and forth?

Out of curiousity how far would Eugene have been from where J lived? Could it be possible she normally went to see her son after dropping Kyron off?

 

[kathryann]

OK, please forgive me, but didn't any out of these three people TY, DY and KH ever think anything may be wrong with TH??? I have a hard time understanding why they never had a clue that there was something wrong with her. I am so curious as to why DY didn't have custody of Kyron, I do realize that she was active in his life, but was their a decision made to NOT move him out of the home?? I'm stumped just about this. Now, that doesn't give TH the right to do what she is doing, I know that, but I'm thinking maybe there should have been some sign that she was this depressed and unhappy.

 

[Deleted member 718]

No matter what, TH always had the ability to refuse to drive Kyron if she didn't want to do it. If she agreed to do and resented it, she can't blame anyone except herself for putting her in that position.

snipped by me

We don't know if Terri had the ability to refuse. IF it was a hard and fast rule that it was her task, I think she may have felt a great resentment towards Kaine. I don't know if their household shared chores equally. It could very well be that she had to take the baby so Kaine could have time alone. I could see her feeling very angry. (motive)

Just tossing this into the mix.

 

[For The Kids]

OK, please forgive me, but didn't any out of these three people TY, DY and KH ever think anything may be wrong with TH??? I have a hard time understanding why they never had a clue that there was something wrong with her. I am so curious as to why DY didn't have custody of Kyron, I do realize that she was active in his life, but was their a decision made to NOT move him out of the home?? I'm stumped just about this. Now, that doesn't give TH the right to do what she is doing, I know that, but I'm thinking maybe there should have been some sign that she was this depressed and unhappy.

Desiree had to go to Canada for treatment and Kaine had her during that time. I guess it was decided not to unsettle Kyon when she came back as he was settled where he was

jmo

 

[kathryann]

Thanks so much, that's been bothering me.

 

[For The Kids]

snipped by me

We don't know if Terri had the ability to refuse. IF it was a hard and fast rule that it was her task, I think she may have felt a great resentment towards Kaine. I don't know if their household shared chores equally. It could very well be that she had to take the baby so Kaine could have time alone. I could see her feeling very angry. (motive)

Just tossing this into the mix.

Personally I dont think Terri would do anything she didnt want to do.

Actually about driving Kyron half way to see Desiree..i dont see that as a issue at all. I used to drive my step child the whole way to see his mum AND collect him. When your in a relationship with someone with kids...you accept..or should at least that you will have to do things for them such as driving etc.

 

[RoughlyCollie]

OK, please forgive me, but didn't any out of these three people TY, DY and KH ever think anything may be wrong with TH??? I have a hard time understanding why they never had a clue that there was something wrong with her. I am so curious as to why DY didn't have custody of Kyron, I do realize that she was active in his life, but was their a decision made to NOT move him out of the home?? I'm stumped just about this. Now, that doesn't give TH the right to do what she is doing, I know that, but I'm thinking maybe there should have been some sign that she was this depressed and unhappy.

As a mother of 4 kids, and former stepmother of 2, all of whom I dearly love, I think that DY did not want to disrupt Kyron's stable and happy, home life. It must be taken into consideration that Kyron was very young when decisions were made about which parent he would live with, and that the transition must have been hard on Kyron when he left DY's custody to live with KH.

DY didn't give full physical custody of Kyron to KH to go off on a frolic of her own. She had to do it because she had a serious physical illness. I think it was a choice made out of unselfish love: She would prefer to have Kyron live with her, but he was better off staying with KH and TH.

I think KH would have had to have noticed if TH had been depressed and unhappy. Lots of people are in that condition and they do not harm their kids. Put it this way, if a parent or stepparent is unhappy, I don't conclude they may harm their child or stepchild as a result of that.

IF TH is a sociopath, it could be very difficult for anyone to notice anything is wrong because at least some sociopaths can hide it so well and playact being so normal (even wonderful) that they have everyone fooled.

There are sociopaths who can fool even highly experienced LE personnel (including the FBI), judges, prosecutors, and defense attorneys, even when they are fully aware that a criminal defendant is a sociopath and they know the sociopath's history. I've seen that happen.

 

[shefner]

As a mother of 4 kids, and former stepmother of 2, all of whom I dearly love, I think that DY did not want to disrupt Kyron's stable, happy, home life. It must be taken into consideration that Kyron was very young when decisions were made about which parent he would live with.

DY didn't give full physical custody of Kyron to KH to go off on a frolic of her own. She had to do it because she had a serious physical illness. I think it was a choice made out of unselfish love: She would prefer to have Kyron live with her, but he was better off staying with KH and TH.

I think KH would have had to have noticed if TH had been depressed and unhappy. Lots of people are in that condition and they do not harm their kids. Put it this way, if a parent or stepparent is unhappy, I don't conclude they may harm their child or stepchild as a result of that.

Thanks for this post....and I understand about having a serious illness. Still, I think I would have given only temporary full custody of my child to his father.
After I was well, I would have wanted my little son back in my home. Apparently DY has been better for several years now and Kyron is still a young child. It would have been tough for me to let another woman raise my child even if I thought she was a good and loving person. I'm in no way judging DY because I don't know all the circumstances involved in these decisions. I'm just speaking personally how I would feel.

 

[Donjeta]

I think we should remember that it's not just the mother's decision where their children should live. The father has a say as well, and if they disagree there may be a dirty court battle. It is often better for the kids if the parents come to an understanding without having to smear each other in court, and since 50-50 shared custody is impossible when the parents live far apart, one of them has to give up from demanding full custody if they want to settle the matter out of court.

 

[RoughlyCollie]

snipped by me

We don't know if Terri had the ability to refuse. IF it was a hard and fast rule that it was her task, I think she may have felt a great resentment towards Kaine. I don't know if their household shared chores equally. It could very well be that she had to take the baby so Kaine could have time alone. I could see her feeling very angry. (motive)

Just tossing this into the mix.

I have seen no indication that TH was controlled by KH against her will. Given that, she has the personal responsibility not to agree to do something, and/or to change her mind if she has built up resentment and anger about it.

I don't know any stay at home mothers who share household and parenting chores equally with their working husbands, unless you include the hours the husband spends working and commuting in the equation as part of the household and parenting responsibilities (which I do).

 

[curiousgirl2010]

I don't know if this is OT but someone mentioned TH's parents... I find it VERY curious that the parents of people who commit murder are so commonly still on their side. I mean, Jaron Van der Sloot's dad, the Anthony's, we have 2 cases in Brazil where the criminals' parents STILL defend their kids.

It says a lot about the extent of a parent's love for a child and I don't necessarily judge the parents because I'm not a mother yet and I have no idea what this love is like.

With that said, it makes it even worse that these people would murder their kids given the unconditional love and support they seem to receive from their own parents even after such crimes.

 

[pghbrandi]

Thanks for this post....and I understand about having a serious illness. Still, I think I would have given only temporary full custody of my child to his father.
After I was well, I would have wanted my little son back in my home. Apparently DY has been better for several years now and Kyron is still a young child. It would have been tough for me to let another woman raise my child even if I thought she was a good and loving person. I'm in no way judging DY because I don't know all the circumstances involved in these decisions. I'm just speaking personally how I would feel.

Maybe it was because Kyron made some friends in that time or started school and they didn't want to up root him again. Maybe they were just trying to keep things as easy as possible for him.

 

[indicat]

I think we should remember that it's not just the mother's decision where their children should live. The father has a say as well, and if they disagree there may be a dirty court battle. It is often better for the kids if the parents come to an understanding without having to smear each other in court, and since 50-50 shared custody is impossible when the parents live far apart, one of them has to give up from demanding full custody if they want to settle the matter out of court.

Exactly. It's not like DY could just walk in and take him back after her illness. It has been my experience from family members who did go to court that judges do not like to take a child out of an established home.

 

[RoughlyCollie]

T
After I was well, I would have wanted my little son back in my home. Apparently DY has been better for several years now and Kyron is still a young child. It would have been tough for me to let another woman raise my child even if I thought she was a good and loving person.

I think it would be tough on any mother who loves her child to have to make the decisions that DY and KH have. The truly loving parent puts the best interest of the child first.

I think it is very important to recognize that KH is also Kyron's biological parent. I think fathers are just as important as mothers to a child. DY made a decision to let KH have physical custody, not TH. Luckily, looking back at the situation as she and KH must have viewed it at the decision points, TH appeared to be a willing and loving stepmother to Kyron. If TH had not been both willing and loving, then I very much doubt that either of Kyron's parents would have knowingly allowed Kryon to suffer.

Perhaps TH herself thought she was a willing and loving stepmother, until something happened to make her change her mind. I can speculate about this until the cows come home -- and I am not suggesting PPD, because I don't think that is the reason, if TH is guilty.

 

[grandmaj]

This thread is going off topic. Let's get back to discussion of the presser please. This post falls at random.