I wish her so much luck. Grandparents should have the right to see the grandchildren. I am a grandmother, sort of, I have a step daughter who has a little boy, he will be 2 soon. We saw him last night for the first time in nearly 2 yrs. So it is hard when they keep the kids away from you, because of what ever reason they have at the time. It is not fair, it is wrong to do this, but for now, we have to rights to them. It is far worse when you have lost your daughter and then the kids are taken away by someone you blame for your daughter's death. How is any of it fair?
Hi Skully,
please forgive that I'm taking the opportunity of your post to express my opinion on matters of custody and visitations, but as a divorced
parent and after a number of years that I've worked with young people and children as an educator and counselor in my past, I'm still very much involved emotionally with it all. What follows is not necessarily either in agreement or disagreement with your post whether in whole or in part or for that matter
not even entirely related to it, just my thoughts on an issue dear and near to me ...
Interested parties,
even parents, don't have absolute rights to visitation or custody.
Universally, laws governing such matters are not looked upon the point of view of a particular individual(s) or what is
fair or not to
them, but from what is in the best interest of the child which are always
assumed to be in the custody and guidance of a parent(s) absent evidence to the contrary.
Moreover, the right of a
parent(s) to raise his/her/their children and to do so as
they see fit, is one of the most fundamental right of any human being and therefore it's recognized and protected the world over. Hence, it's all but impossible to take away this
fundamental right absent
proven allegation of child abuse or that otherwise a parent(s) is unfit to keep custody, and I'd like to stress here the concept of "
proven" and not simply
alleged by whomever and under whatever circumstances.
On the issue of
visitations, particularly here in the case of
grandparents and other such
non-custodial parties (excluding parents only in this instance) it's hardly a good idea to rest the
complexities of it
solely and if at all, on a government, its courts and whatever statue that may or may not exist and/or being applicable in a particular case. Specifically for non-custodial interested parties it's particularly problematic to turn to courts to settle disputes
notwithstanding a particular statue , since custodial parties, especially parents, are given enormous latitudes and considerations since they have the rights and obligations of directly raising a child and therefore
best situated in determining what's in the best interest of that child.
Lastly, when interested parties verbally fight, either directly or indirectly, that can hardly be expected to achieve the best results possible for the child
caught in the middle of it and more often then not it's
precisely not the best interest of a child that is the consequence of it.
Generally,it's not by accusations and finger pointing,
especially in public, that one settles disputes effectively and productively and that is regardless of merit, that way one may or may not get sympathies from people who probably cannot effect a desired outcome while almost surely alienating those who actually can, and that is true not just in custody/visitations cases but just about in any other case and one may only deviate from that general rule at their own peril, if one also chooses to use the courts to settle a dispute one
risks to make a bad situation even worse and that is of particular consequence where children are the issue and therefore one should always be mindful of that prospective in considering a particular conduct.
All JMO
