FL - Mom tweets while son drowns

[Cubby]

There but for the grace of God, IMHO. There's no indication to me that this women wasn't a good mother. I think when a child dies by accident, we want to blame the caretaker on some level because this makes us feel safer - like it could never happen to us because we would have done things differently. It's a psychological defense mechanism and not necessarily rooted in the "facts" of any particular incident.

However, I think it is cruel to say that out loud to a person in crisis, which is what happened with the whole Twitter thing.

My continued prayers for this mother and her family and I hope she is not reading any of the junk people are posting about her. I have often thought to myself that if some terrible accident happened to my child and made the news, I would never in a million years follow it on the internet because I know a bunch of strangers with limited information would blame me for it. No one needs to read that when they are already in a painfully vulnerable state.

Respectfully. I don't know how to double quote so I will reply to both of your posts here. What it sounded like I said and what I was trying to convey were apparently two different things. It's not as if I said she held the kids head underwater while she was tweeting.

Facts? I don't think any of us has them all. Was she online 50 minutes of every hour all day? We don't know how soon after this accident occured she tweeted. I don't think I could do that, because I wouldn't want my family and closest friends finding out such information online. I think they'd feel very betrayed I chose to share that with strangers before notifying my family. We only know what we've read. I don't condemn her for requesting prayers. I question the timing she requested them if the media accounts are accurate.

I guess, I am also a little stunned that we can *bash* mothers who make crappy choices for boyfriends when their children are abused or sadly murdered, but when a mother is possibly neglectful by spending too much time online which MAY HAVE contributed to her childs tragic accidental death there are two different sets of standards.

 

[justbeachy]

I'm almost afraid to post this because people either love it or hate it. I have been asked, "Why would any mother do this to their child?!" My response is that I would rather have both of us go through this than to deal with the alternative.

Water Survival :: Evan_floating.flv video by hidden_staircase - Photobucket

 

[LaLaw2000]

I do not mean to seem totally heartless (my earlier post). I do have a great deal of sympathy for anyone who has lost a child. I have (although he was grown and in college), and I do know it is the worst nightmare a mother and father can face. I do not blame her for having asked for prayers. However, I would not have been able to even do that for at least a couple of days. It was all a haze and a fog to me for days on end. I needed my family, not my cyber buddies. I may have asked a friend to post to my online friends that my child had a tragic accident and to please say prayers. I have really great friends online and would want them to know what had happened.

It is still my stance that this was an accident that did not have to happen and shouldn't have happened. By the very nature of what we read here on WS every single day, we know that we have to be overly protective and diligent where our childrens' safety is concerned.

Having stated that; I still say that if you are outside, you can still watch your child. If you are busy with other things, then just wait until you're not, then go outside with the children. I have seen in other cases here where we would have (and did) scream negligence when a child died through an accident that could have been prevented. I am not going to have that double standard.

MOO

I do extend my sympathy to the family and I do hope that they are given the peace they need to get through this tragic time.

ITA with you, Cubby.

 

[LaLaw2000]

Two-year-old Bryson Ross died in the family's swimming pool Monday. Mother Shellie Ross posted on Twitter.com about his accident a half-hour after she called paramedics

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/17/shellie-ross-moms-tweets_n_395833.html

BBM:

THIS part is what I cannot understand either!

 

[ScubaTwinn]

What was the point of the fence if a toddler can make it through?

Am I missing something? I thought her older son left the gate open. If true, he unfortunately has a greater guilt to live with, poor child.

 

[mycroft]

Am I missing something? I thought her older son left the gate open. If true, he unfortunately has a greater guilt to live with, poor child.

Even if it happened as you describe, if that was a possibility all the more reason to make sure that it can't happen with an adequate lock. Who secures their pool with a lock that a child can open?

 

[txsvicki]

I don't have an opinion of the mom tweeting so soon after the death of her child, but think it's sad that one of the first things she did was ask for support of a bunch of internet people instead of local friends, family, and church. If she did it from her phone, I don't know how she could have even remembered where she put it before discovering the child. Who knows if she was tweeting while he got into the pool, but I'm another one that thinks toddlers need to be watched at all times while outside and monitored constantly while in the home. The thing that would really have prevented the accident was a lock on the gate and forcing all the family to actually lock it and set an alarm. It's really mean of the posters on the internet that she likes so much to badmouth her. Maybe even some of the people she thought were her friendly followers were doing it. Unless she personally knew these people, she didn't really know any of them.

 

[LadyL]

sorry about the thread title - I don't know how to change it - can someone help me with that?

sorry about where I posted it too ... my first thread & I messed up twice!

 

[LadyL]

let's put this in perspective:

8:37 am to 5:22 pm - 74 tweets made (that's one every 7 minutes or so)

5:17 pm - tweet
5:18 pm - tweet
5:19 pm - tweet
5:21 pm - tweet
5:22 pm - tweet
5:23 pm - 911 call made by 11 year old son
5:38 pm - ambulance arrives

[34 minutes elaspe]

6:12 pm - tweet asking for prayers

[5 hrs. elapse]

11:08 pm - tweet "remembering my million dollar baby"

Brevard County police say that Ross told them she had put her 11-year-old son in charge of watching young Bryson.

 

[txsvicki]

Which son was told to go shut off the water? I read on another non sleuthing forum that the mom was cleaning her chicken coop and had twittered about the fog rolling in and chickens being scared one minute before the son calling 911. I wonder if the chickens could have sensed that something was wrong instead of being afraid of fog. I guess technically she was tweeting while the boy drowned if the timeline is correct, but she thought the other child was watching him playing in the yard. Also, she says that the critics of her tweeting the tragedy are just trying to get attention to their blogs.

 

[Cubby]

Which son was told to go shut off the water? I read on another non sleuthing forum that the mom was cleaning her chicken coop and had twittered about the fog rolling in and chickens being scared one minute before the son calling 911. I wonder if the chickens could have sensed that something was wrong instead of being afraid of fog. I guess technically she was tweeting while the boy drowned if the timeline is correct, but she thought the other child was watching him playing in the yard. Also, she says that the critics of her tweeting the tragedy are just trying to get attention to their blogs.

This article has more of a timeline and answers more of these questions.

http://www.floridatoday.com/article...yed+no+role+in+drowning+of+Merritt+Island+boy

I disagree it played 'no role'. Honestly, we really don't know how often the 11 year old was asked to watch the 2 year old. Was mom "multi-tasking" while tweeting from her phone in one hand and walking around with the other as daily routine? Still, what matters is no one saw this boy fall into the pool, and had she not been looking at the phone perhaps she would have noticed sooner.

Accident, yes, but either put your phone down and watch your kids! or hire a live in nanny so you can tweet or do whatever and have another adult watching your kids, not an 11 yr old.

My apologies if that was cruel. My heart breaks for this mother and son, but....... if one is on the phone every 7 minutes one has to know the law of averages is gonna swing upward. Complacency.........

Sadly, this little boy had to go to remind us to keep certain things in perspective.

My prayers go out to his family and friends.

 

[Blue_Dolphin308]

This says it all. She's found time to spend on the internet! She interrupted the mourning? She should take her own advice to get a clue.

She CAN'T grieve or mourn because she is constantly having to worry about when the next reporter will be showing up on her lawn UNINVITED!!! Or when the phone rings who it will be!

Leave the woman and her family ALONE! She did NOTHING wrong! Let her mourn her child, that she obviously loved, why else would she be twittering asking for prayers???

 

[Blue_Dolphin308]

As much as we all want to sit here and say we are the PERFECT parents, I find that hard to believe. Kids get hurt, or accidents happen, because we get tied up doing things. And for those of you sitting here and saying that would NEVER happen to my child, I would rethink that. You cannot watch your kids 24/7 365 days a year. We are not as perfect as we would like others to believe we are.

 

[mycroft]

She CAN'T grieve or mourn because she is constantly having to worry about when the next reporter will be showing up on her lawn UNINVITED!!! Or when the phone rings who it will be!

Leave the woman and her family ALONE! She did NOTHING wrong! Let her mourn her child, that she obviously loved, why else would she be twittering asking for prayers???

Why does she have to care about reporters? She doesn't. If she chooses to worry about Twitter and her public image, I think we've seen how well that worked out.

We'll have to agree to disagree on this one, because if she wasn't protecting her kids, then who did she think was?

 

[2goldfish]

I'm almost afraid to post this because people either love it or hate it. I have been asked, "Why would any mother do this to their child?!" My response is that I would rather have both of us go through this than to deal with the alternative.

Water Survival :: Evan_floating.flv video by hidden_staircase - Photobucket

OMG. I am sobbing my lil heart out from seeing that but you're right - better it's learned.

 

[justbeachy]

OMG. I am sobbing my lil heart out from seeing that but you're right - better it's learned.

As a mom, this was one of the hardest things I've had to do. It was SO HARD to not jump in and help him. But I knew I was doing the right thing (some people may not agree, but for my family, I felt...and still feel...that it was the right thing to do). We live in Florida and there is water everywhere. These classes do not take the place of other safety measures (supervision, gates, alarms) - they are just another added layer of protection.

As for this mom, I am going to go the route of, "People in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones." I have answered the phone while my kids are in the pool (we have a waterproof pool phone, but a distraction is a distraction nonetheless), I have answered texts and posted status updates to facebook. It *appears* that this situation might have been more extreme than that, but that certainly doesn't make me any better than her. I'm far from being a perfect parent. This mom is probably beating herself up far worse than any of us could ever do to her. Long after we have forgotten about this case, she will be haunted by what she did or didn't do. Her older son will be burdened by guilt since he (supposedly) left the gate open. Her husband will be tortured by visions of what he imagines happened that day and "what if" he had only been home, etc. My criticisms of this mom don't help her or her family. They don't change what happened. The only thing I can offer her now is prayers and sympathy, so that is what I am choosing to do.

 

[angelmom]

Why does she have to care about reporters? She doesn't. If she chooses to worry about Twitter and her public image, I think we've seen how well that worked out.

We'll have to agree to disagree on this one, because if she wasn't protecting her kids, then who did she think was?

I think you would care about reporters if they were in your yard, maybe even shooting camera footage into your house, calling you, yelling questions at you every time you go outside to feed a pet or take out the trash.

Personally I might get the paintball gun out and start practicing, but her ammunition is her blog.

 

[southcitymom]

......I guess, I am also a little stunned that we can *bash* mothers who make crappy choices for boyfriends when their children are abused or sadly murdered, but when a mother is possibly neglectful by spending too much time online which MAY HAVE contributed to her childs tragic accidental death there are two different sets of standards.

(respectfully snipped)

I don't agree (and have been vocal on threads about it) with the bashing of "those" types of mothers either. I promise you that, for me, there are not two different sets of standards.

 

[southcitymom]

This article has more of a timeline and answers more of these questions.

http://www.floridatoday.com/article...yed+no+role+in+drowning+of+Merritt+Island+boy

I disagree it played 'no role'. Honestly, we really don't know how often the 11 year old was asked to watch the 2 year old. Was mom "multi-tasking" while tweeting from her phone in one hand and walking around with the other as daily routine? Still, what matters is no one saw this boy fall into the pool, and had she not been looking at the phone perhaps she would have noticed sooner.

Accident, yes, but either put your phone down and watch your kids! or hire a live in nanny so you can tweet or do whatever and have another adult watching your kids, not an 11 yr old.

My apologies if that was cruel. My heart breaks for this mother and son, but....... if one is on the phone every 7 minutes one has to know the law of averages is gonna swing upward. Complacency.........

Sadly, this little boy had to go to remind us to keep certain things in perspective.

My prayers go out to his family and friends.

Thanks for the link. When I was 11, my youngest sister was 1 ansd 2 and I watched her all the time, to include at the beach and pool. As fate would have it, my younger sister survived childhood, having turned 33 last summer!

 

[southcitymom]

Hey Cubby,

I'm not picking on you, I promise - have just happened to respond to your posts. I understand that others feel like you do!

Like many here, I have seen and discussed cases where a parent made questionable choices and a child died or was injured. I'm not seeing that in this case. I think one has to leap to the worst assumptions of this women to be anything but sympathetic to her.

The assumptions we make about any case are dictated, of course, by our personal makeups!