GA - Caliyah McNabb, 15 days, Newton County, 7 Oct 2017 *Arrests*

[rsd1200]

Yes. I did the timelines of his incarcerations and arrests, and he was released in Sept/oct 2016 after 15 months in prison. Was taken in a few times over the past year, but not during the possible conception window.

If he abused her, it wouldn't matter if he was out during that window. They make up reasons. My friend would get a beating if she had the front door locked, when he came home, because it was giving time for the imagined bf, time to run out the back door. If she left front door unlocked? It was because she'd been waiting on the imagined bf and had left the door open for him. People like CM don't think like other people.

 

[rsd1200]

i have a 19 year old w adhd/odd. he is not as bad as CM but when reading his teenage behavior and refusals to comply w ANYTHING he didn't choose, I could identify. he is currently not adulting well and isn't allowed to live w me or w his dad, not due to violence or excessive theft but more than he wont repsect the home and argues about anything and everything. hes w his paternal grandparents right now. always the hard way, I pray daily that he learns before he is hurt or arrested.

I understand. As soon as I started reading, mine popped into my head. Mine is over 25, and is in lock up, again... Has never stolen from us, but the battles (never intentionally harmed anyone either), just the constant defiance against any rule. ANY rule, ours, or probation's, or parole's. They told us that some with ODD get better by age 25 if they find the consequences to their actions unpleasant enough (It's all about them and them being uncomfortable). Apparently mine has not reached that point. Every time the phone rings I think they've found my child dead, or they're in lock up again.

 

[razzledazzle]

I probably missed this along the way... has anyone mentioned or heard of anyone on his side of the family? (Not that there’s much they could say, I’m just curious)

I haven't seen anything in MSM.

 

[cvaldez1975]

the bad part is I understand it because I have adhd/odd too. it has caused me problems in life but I have learned to work around it (I have issues w bosses. never been fired what I do is, I do what im supposed to before they can tell me and it keeps it at bay most of the time. or I will excuse myself to the bathroom to calm down. I swear its a burden to me that if I don't like someone's tone the first thing that pops in my head is "what if I don't want to!" ) my son doesn't steal much, he did steal my norcos after childbirth and sell them at school.... never got caught.... he avoids getting caught because he is very nice looking and can be charming. he does argue all the time, he has tried to cow me w his size but I smacked his (he is 6"4 and 195) he destroys property, usually out of carelessness rather than anger. although he did punch two holes in the wall when he was getting chemo but it was prednisone rage. (yes, he had cancer too )

he repeats the same self destructive patterns over and over. doesn't like the rules, leaves to his dad's, gets kicked out by his dad's wife, goes to either set of grandparents, tries to come back. to live here he has to work and chip in on the bills and clean after himself and not have weed or smell like weed at the house (we have younger kids) the last time he tried to come back, I wouldn't let him. so he was living w a friend and had a phone sales job that he actually liked (I think sales is good for him, he is charming and he feels like he "won" if he makes a sale) but I think his living situation fell through and he didn't tell me anything. he just quit and moved back to his grandparents again. he was doing ok, then this all of a sudden. its always like that w him. the cycles where he seemingly is working and doing ok only last a few months. I have told him I think he has PTSD ( he acts like he never had cancer) and needs therapy and his reply is "nah **** all that, im ok, I just said this or that cuz I was mad, don't worry mom"

sorry for the off topic ramble but that is pretty much life w ODD... in varying degrees. I do feel for CM's family.

I understand. As soon as I started reading, mine popped into my head. Mine is over 25, and is in lock up, again... Has never stolen from us, but the battles (never intentionally harmed anyone either), just the constant defiance against any rule. ANY rule, ours, or probation's, or parole's. They told us that some with ODD get better by age 25 if they find the consequences to their actions unpleasant enough (It's all about them and them being uncomfortable). Apparently mine has not reached that point. Every time the phone rings I think they've found my child dead, or they're in lock up again.

 

[rsd1200]

the bad part is I understand it because I have adhd/odd too. it has caused me problems in life but I have learned to work around it (I have issues w bosses. never been fired what I do is, I do what im supposed to before they can tell me and it keeps it at bay most of the time. or I will excuse myself to the bathroom to calm down. I swear its a burden to me that if I don't like someone's tone the first thing that pops in my head is "what if I don't want to!" ) my son doesn't steal much, he did steal my norcos after childbirth and sell them at school.... never got caught.... he avoids getting caught because he is very nice looking and can be charming. he does argue all the time, he has tried to cow me w his size but I smacked his (he is 6"4 and 195) he destroys property, usually out of carelessness rather than anger. although he did punch two holes in the wall when he was getting chemo but it was prednisone rage. (yes, he had cancer too )

he repeats the same self destructive patterns over and over. doesn't like the rules, leaves to his dad's, gets kicked out by his dad's wife, goes to either set of grandparents, tries to come back. to live here he has to work and chip in on the bills and clean after himself and not have weed or smell like weed at the house (we have younger kids) the last time he tried to come back, I wouldn't let him. so he was living w a friend and had a phone sales job that he actually liked (I think sales is good for him, he is charming and he feels like he "won" if he makes a sale) but I think his living situation fell through and he didn't tell me anything. he just quit and moved back to his grandparents again. he was doing ok, then this all of a sudden. its always like that w him. the cycles where he seemingly is working and doing ok only last a few months. I have told him I think he has PTSD ( he acts like he never had cancer) and needs therapy and his reply is "nah **** all that, im ok, I just said this or that cuz I was mad, don't worry mom"

sorry for the off topic ramble but that is pretty much life w ODD... in varying degrees. I do feel for CM's family.

I am very sorry for your son and your family. I hope his health improves and he beats the cancer. Mine has always had side health issues, and also has a health issue that cause that causes impulsiveness. Mine self-medicates w/pot. I wouldn't mind if they'd allow it on parole. It started with mine around age seven. I was called to the school constantly for years. Mine can't hold a job. I'm stubborn, and have a quick temper but have mellowed with age, and held a job with the same organization til I retired from there. I did give my parents some fits. The exes side showed some ODD type issues though. Idk what mine will do when they get out this time. There's not much future in a small town, for a repeat offender, w/no solid work record. :sigh: This young man's parents have to be horrified.

 

[cvaldez1975]

thank you! he is in remission. but acts like he never had it. like literally closed that box and filed it somewhere.

I have to make him go to his appointments. he needs follow up care for years.

he is smart. he could do anything he wanted if he would help himself.

I am very sorry for your son and your family. I hope his health improves and he beats the cancer. Mine has always had side health issues, and also has a health issue that cause that causes impulsiveness. Mine self-medicates w/pot. I wouldn't mind if they'd allow it on parole. It started with mine around age seven. I was called to the school constantly for years. Mine can't hold a job. I'm stubborn, and have a quick temper but have mellowed with age, and held a job with the same organization til I retired from there. I did give my parents some fits. The exes side showed some ODD type issues though. Idk what mine will do when they get out this time. There's not much future in a small town, for a repeat offender, w/no solid work record. :sigh: This young man's parents have to be horrified.

 

[Gigglingtoes]

Something that's been gnawing away at me since the dads criminal records got released. If you look at some of his charges, they include violence charges too. Child services have/would be involved. Is it possible the the dad shouldn't have been allowed near the kids? I can't see that child services didn't know about dads criminal past, and let him be near them babies. That might explain the nervousness of the mum and the muddled 911 call if dad shouldn't have been there and she slipped up. Just my opinion here, nothing else.

Lots of fathers have criminal records and are still able to be around their kids. Odd yes but...true

 

[katydid23]

Lots of fathers have criminal records and are still able to be around their kids. Odd yes but...true

Exactly.

In fact, a man can be a convicted sexual offender and not be allowed to be around children ---except his own children. The courts have ruled that a sex offender does not lose his rights as a father, even if he is not allowed to be around other children.

 

[cvaldez1975]

I think its pretty easy to get a dad away from kids if their kids were the victim. if the parent has a record that isn't related to the kids at all, and is later not on supervised release or anthing then there really isn't any oversight unless someone reports the family to CPS or something.

Exactly.

In fact, a man can be a convicted sexual offender and not be allowed to be around children ---except his own children. The courts have ruled that a sex offender does not lose his rights as a father, even if he is not allowed to be around other children.

 

[keeleydoll]

I haven't seen anything in MSM.

His father and stepmother are mentioned in this article as they were victims of his previous crimes http://www.wgrz.com/mobile/article/...st-leads-to-heartbreaking-ending/85-482793628


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[rsd1200]

thank you! he is in remission. but acts like he never had it. like literally closed that box and filed it somewhere.

I have to make him go to his appointments. he needs follow up care for years.

he is smart. he could do anything he wanted if he would help himself.

Mime sounds similar.. Mine is alive because of experimental surgery as a newborn and had rules to live their life by because it was so serious.. Mine too is very smart. Got kicked out of school, senior year, but I forced them to go get their GED.. The instructor was amazed at how fast my renegade completed it all and their scores.. I wasn't. It was the only way to get me off their case.... I'm glad your child is in remission , best of wishes to you and your family.

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[flyngrls]

Exactly.

In fact, a man can be a convicted sexual offender and not be allowed to be around children ---except his own children. The courts have ruled that a sex offender does not lose his rights as a father, even if he is not allowed to be around other children.

Are you serious? Is that true? Horrifying


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[perfectingpink]

Are you serious? Is that true? Horrifying


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Very true.

 

[rsd1200]

Are you serious? Is that true? Horrifying


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O/T
I do think that if there's been no violence against the children, and the parent(s) are not chomos, that CPS should try to help parents keep the family intact (as long as the parents are willing to try). I've seen parents, who were immature, and products of abuse themselves, but never intentionally harmed their children, they just didn't know what to do.

However, I've also seen some children who were so abused that no, they should never be placed back into their parent's care; I've seen children with so many different forms of abuse (cigarette burns, just utter neglect, incest by an upstanding member of the community, and one of the saddest was a very sweet child, who witnessed the murder of one parent, by the other parent). A parent whose been locked up for a non-violent crime, is not on the top of the list for CPS, unless they're reported as abusing their spouse, or child.

The case link below is just mind blowing to me. The judge should be reprimanded or disbarred. This young woman's story is a nightmare. He gave her rapist joint custody of the child she decided to keep.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/victim...eaks-out/?ftag=CNM-00-10aab6a&linkId=43370118

 

[Henry2326]

Delete

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[katydid23]

Are you serious? Is that true? Horrifying


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here is the law in Arizona, as one example:

One major concern for some Arizonans is protecting children from registered sex offenders. This issue may cause concern if the sex offender is the child's parent.
That is why in Arizona a registered sex offender cannot have sole or joint legal custody of a child. Registered sex offenders also cannot have unsupervised parenting time with their children. There is an exception to this general rule, though. If the registered sex offender can prove that they do not present a significant risk to the child, and the court agrees with them, then the sex offender could be granted unsupervised parenting time or legal custody of a child.


in california law:

he or she may not be awarded physical custody or legal custody of, or unsupervised visitation with, any child unless the court finds that there is no significant risk to the child and the court states its reasons in writing or “on the record”

http://www.gamutonline.net/district/madera/DisplayPolicy/226528/1

And what I have been finding on various blogs and comments on divorce forums, is that many judges have begun accepting statements from sex offender fathers, that' they are not a risk to their child. ' And the reasons can be because they offended against boys, and their kids are girls. Or they offended many years ago and took courses and counseling in jail and have changed their ways. Or they never touched their own children so they have shown their children are not at risk.

And time and time agin, judges have said that the 'rights of a father' cannot be ignored if there is no evidence their children are at risk from them.




here is a post by a family/divorce attorney:
There are many factors that would have to be examined to answer your question properly; however, the short answer is "maybe". Parental rights are deemed to be fundamental rights so it is difficult to totally deny a parent rights to visit with their child.

Depending on the nature of the offense, there may be supervised visitation available, where the convicted parent would have to a pay for and visit with the children in a controlled environment in a center approved by the courts or supervision could take the form of a responsible adult willing to be present at all visits.
https://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/can-a-registered-sex-offender-have-rights-to-his-c-1725541.html

 

[Jennifer17]

A friend of my daughter's works for the Family Law Court as a children's advocate. The visits she supervises are in her office and she is not allowed to be out of sight or hearing of them when they meet with the child or children. She feels great sympathy for the children who for the most part do not want to be there and are embarrassed by their father's crimes and guilty if they were a victim.

She says that no parent who loved their child would put them through it, but thinks that the parent is still exercising control over the child and the other parent. I agree with her.

 

[rsd1200]

A friend of my daughter's works for the Family Law Court as a children's advocate. The visits she supervises are in her office and she is not allowed to be out of sight or hearing of them when they meet with the child or children. She feels great sympathy for the children who for the most part do not want to be there and are embarrassed by their father's crimes and guilty if they were a victim.

She says that no parent who loved their child would put them through it, but thinks that the parent is still exercising control over the child and the other parent. I agree with her.

I know we're getting a bit o/t, but, heading back on track. Depending on the circumstances, there are children who do still love their parents, and want to see them, and look forward to their call, and that visit. Some blame the foster parent for them not being able to see their parents anymore, if rights are ultimately terminated. Many times foster care is not what folks think it is and even though things might have been very bad at home, they are now in a home of strangers, sometimes swept up in the middle of the night, and surrounded by new faces. Some of those strangers are in it for the $, and do what they have to do, while others are good folks, trying to do good things, and make the children feel loved and wanted. The ones who are in the latter group are very special folks. It's very difficult to win a child's trust and love and many times there is a lot of medical visits, mental health visits, and tension in the home, especially during the first couple of years. This is one of the reasons that I thought that maybe the father had contacted one of those internet sites, arranged for her to be "re-homed", for lack of a better word, and, to deflect any negativity within their church and community, devised the tree story (and it's even possible he could have arranged this withou his spouse even knowing). A community and church are much more sympathetic to a lost child, than, a child that you gave a way, or asked a re-homing fee for, on the internet.

 

[rsd1200]

I know we're getting a bit o/t, but, heading back on track. Depending on the circumstances, there are children who do still love their parents, and want to see them, and look forward to their call, and that visit. Some blame the foster parent for them not being able to see their parents anymore, if rights are ultimately terminated. Many times foster care is not what folks think it is and even though things might have been very bad at home, they are now in a home of strangers, sometimes swept up in the middle of the night, and surrounded by new faces. Some of those strangers are in it for the $, and do what they have to do, while others are good folks, trying to do good things, and make the children feel loved and wanted. The ones who are in the latter group are very special folks. It's very difficult to win a child's trust and love and many times there is a lot of medical visits, mental health visits, and tension in the home, especially during the first couple of years.

^ bbm
I apologize. I got my posts mixed up. I'm following this case, and little Sheri's, and just started following the one with the little 8 y/o boy too. The above, was my original post, for this forum, but, I've got a grandchild here, so there's lots of activity going on, and I accidentally merged the two posts. Sorry for any confusion. I try to write them out and re-read, before I post, but messed up. I do not believe that anything after the words I've bolded, above, from my post #758, are in anyway connected to little Caliyah's case.

 

[Lilibet]

^ bbm
I apologize. I got my posts mixed up. I'm following this case, and little Sheri's, and just started following the one with the little 8 y/o boy too. The above, was my original post, for this forum, but, I've got a grandchild here, so there's lots of activity going on, and I accidentally merged the two posts. Sorry for any confusion. I try to write them out and re-read, before I post, but messed up. I do not believe that anything after the words I've bolded, above, from my post #758, are in anyway connected to little Caliyah's case.

BBM

Mixed up posts? It happens to most of us sooner or later. You’re in good company!