When we call Social Services or Child Protective Services we expect them to do their job. So many times they fail us and fail the children. I realize it is a tough job for them and sometimes their hands are tied but it sounds
I would say that on many occasions, their hands are tied. Over the years, my family has supported several "at risk" type youth with difficult home situations. Several have had parents under investigation by CPS.
In the end, being a bad parent or an erratic parent in regards to decisions is not illegal. Likewise, the use of questionable discipline techniques is not illegal in and of itself. Actually proving neglect or abuse can be far different than simply suspecting it.
Then factor in that non criminal- but just plain bad, borderline criminal and out right criminal parents can be pretty good at "gaming the system".
Under pressure, they"ll cooperate with school counselors- only to suddenly "uncooperate"- then cooperate again. But... their cooperation period can mean that some past failings have been re-set to "zero"
They can become legal eagles at administrative appeals and can be experts at data mining write ups for minor, or not so minor, inaccuracies- then claiming that biased counselors are out to get them. So.... nothing can be trusted and everything must be re-set- right?
Changing schools often. Sure, bad records follow, but they can follow slowly. Some principals have learned that relying on past reports can be problematic for a variety of reasons. They will then want to make an independent assessment. That can mean largely starting over.
They then follow the same path with CPS if needed. Tricks that I have seen include:
- Vagueness is a plus! Always tell the kids that you are going to work when you leave. But...never tell them exactly when you will leave, or when you will return home. Makes it harder to establish how long Mommy was really gone for.
- Always bring some groceries of some sort when returning home from a party absence. Toss in plenty of the kids favorite junk foods, and of course- feasting at the local fast food joint. Erases a lot on bad conduct in short kid memories. And.... also serves as a good defensive talking point to CPS:
Hey, I went to w-o-r-k and brought home g-r-o-c-e-r-i-e-s. What dont you understand?
- Pressure is heating up in the big city? Time for a sudden move to a rural county with few resources.
- Sex traffickers are everywhere! That is why my children will never, ever, answer the door for a stranger. CPS case workers are
extreme strangers. I also warned them about bad people trying to hurt good families. They don't really give out info about say, my current bad new BF moving in.
- Where one lives can be different from where one stays! Having complicated and constantly changing living arrangements- of course, through no fault of ones own, delays and hinders CPS investigations.
- Get help and allies! Drop suggested cover stories to neighbors along with lurid tales of bored busy body gossips and Gestapo social workers harassing sexy, hard working, single moms. Works really good when neighbors are male. Ditto the above for bosses of either sex-
No, his / her hours and shifts are not set. I cant remember if they came in- they probably did. Hey, she works hard!
- Go legal eagle. Pay very close attention to what levels of evidence CPS really needs before they can really do "X". Other "moms under the gun" can be excellent sources of valuable insights. Use these insights to hinder evidence collection by style cramping CPS types.
