Wow, I just found this forum this weekend and I am embarrassed to admit how long I've spent catching up on threads! You all are quite insightful! I don't normally follow cases like these because they are so sad, but RH is a friend of friends. I was so sad for him and his family when I heard the news. I've kept up with news articles and defended him here and there.
Then I wondered why didn't he pick up CH if he just forgot to drop him off? I didn't know LH usually did it at the time. I found this board and have been reading pretty much nonstop ever since. Like I said, I don't know him at all, but what you all have uncovered in his personality reminds me very much of my ex husband who is a narcissist in these same circles where appearance is everything.
When my ex and I had our baby, he did not adjust well to no longer being the center of attention or being able to do what he wanted when he wanted. He was the image of the doting father, but behind closed doors, it wasn't like that. Eventually, he decided he wanted out, but he couldn't stand the thought of being the bad guy, so he came up with an elaborate scheme to make the end of the marriage my fault. He put us through absolute misery before finally terminating his parental rights to avoid paying child support while adopting his stepkids. He has quite the following of people who think he's the best dad in the world and would be shocked if they knew. The reason they don't is because I know they wouldn't believe me. Funny enough, both my ex and JH were on the same message board for awhile where they were both liked and accepted.
Why couldn't they walk away like most dads? IMO, 2 reasons. 1) As narcissists, they can't stand the idea of sharing THEIR money in paying child support. 2) In their ultra conservative communities, they can't take the ego crushing idea that they might be seen as the bad guy. It's too much for their egos to handle. Because they are the most important person in the world to themselves, they don't think about how their actions hurt others. It's all about getting what they want and saving face, never having to admit they did anything wrong.
Now that I've been through it, I can spot this personality type a mile away and imoo, JH pings my radar.
This points directly to the elusive motive. I think his motive was exactly the same as my ex's: get out of a situation that requires genuine self-sacrifice and responsibility, get out of paying child support, and do all in such a way that people not only don't blame them for doing something bad but also feel sorry for them. While not everyone feels sorry for JH, of course, the people in his circle DO. And that was the entire point.
Everything else, I have nothing to add. I completely agree this was an accident on purpose for all the reasons you all have already stated. Excellent points.
All of the above MOO. Sorry for the super long first post!