General Discussions #5

[Thinkoflaura]

TOL: I can respect your decision but feel if we all felt that way, there would be no forum....no voice for Janet. We are the only ones talking about this case. If we weren't here, Janet's murder would be unknown to many. The media isn't covering it (see possible stories SES posted), LE isn't releasing information (maybe because lack of it), Raven or his family isn't talking (for whatever reason).......Janet has NO VOICE.......we are it. I have gone to SES's thread about refocusing three times already today.....and I will not stop just because I'm afraid somebody might edit my post.

I should have said that I feel guilty as well because I too have cried, prayed, discussed the case with my family, and driven them to exasperation with my hours of searching and reading, looking for clues to events leading up to the murder. AND hoping for news!!

I am a rule follower, and I don't want to post something which causes displeasure to the people who are the moderators. Maybe I am not used to posting on a forum, just reading about long term unsolved cases, like JonBenet's. I have seen people post everything under the sun on her case here.

Your post is exactly on the mark- you are stating the truths of the circumstances surrounding this case. It is mind-boggling to realize that this forum and an excellent BLOGGER are the only places this crime is being discussed on the Internet. It's also frustrating to think that we are trying, but if people don't know about her case in the first place, how do we get the word out? Greta was great to do a small feature on the case, but she is the only nationally watched person to do so. I don't see anything coming out of the NC region either.

My fear is that I don't think I understand the nuances of the rules well , EI.
Just having some conflicts to work out..
Thank you for your post.

 

[ewwwinteresting]

Just having some conflicts to work out..
Thank you for your post.

Work them out and keep posting. Your posts are just as valuable and appreciated!:blowkiss:

 

[Chica]

I did a search for 'LDS Dating' and got TONS of results! I went with the service 'LDS Planet' and completed a questionaire using Janet's attributes. I searched through the single men, but didn't find anything close to Raven, so I figured I'd wait and check again the following day . . . before I even logged off, I had sooo many responses, I couldn't believe it! I then went in and changed my description to the OPPOSITE of what Janet was . . . STILL got a ton of replies! When I went home that night, I told my husband what I did (he wasn't thrilled, but I am still alive!! :blushing: ), he told me to change my email address :doh: Anyway, what I am eluding to is . . . if you join a dating service, you may want to give an 'erroneous' email so you aren't inundated!!

 

[golfmom]

I did a search for 'LDS Dating' and got TONS of results! I went with the service 'LDS Planet' and completed a questionaire using Janet's attributes. I searched through the single men, but didn't find anything close to Raven, so I figured I'd wait and check again the following day . . . before I even logged off, I had sooo many responses, I couldn't believe it! I then went in and changed my description to the OPPOSITE of what Janet was . . . STILL got a ton of replies! When I went home that night, I told my husband what I did (he wasn't thrilled, but I am still alive!! :blushing: ), he told me to change my email address :doh: Anyway, what I am eluding to is . . . if you join a dating service, you may want to give an 'erroneous' email so you aren't inundated!!

Chica you so ROCK! That is sooooo funny! He's right about the email address, before I do anything goofy (and I've been known to do a lot of goofy things and learned the hard way) I set up a completely out-there yahoo address so nothing comes back on me.
:innocent:

 

[ewwwinteresting]

I did a search for 'LDS Dating' and got TONS of results! I went with the service 'LDS Planet' and completed a questionaire using Janet's attributes. I searched through the single men, but didn't find anything close to Raven, so I figured I'd wait and check again the following day . . . before I even logged off, I had sooo many responses, I couldn't believe it! I then went in and changed my description to the OPPOSITE of what Janet was . . . STILL got a ton of replies! When I went home that night, I told my husband what I did (he wasn't thrilled, but I am still alive!! :blushing: ), he told me to change my email address :doh: Anyway, what I am eluding to is . . . if you join a dating service, you may want to give an 'erroneous' email so you aren't inundated!!

Glad to see your husband appreciated the "sleuthing."

Just a thought and maybe a mormon can help me out here. Do we really think Raven would register on a mormon dating site? Can't they check you out to see if you're really single and if you're not, remove you? I'm thinking Raven got it "on the side" with girls and/or boys he already knew or met at work or soccer. From the ones who posted that they know he had multiple affairs and didn't care much for Janet's feelings, imo, I don't see him being real discreet and using a dating site. ???

 

[Timex]

is Raven bisexual?

 

[ewwwinteresting]

is Raven bisexual?

UNCONFIRMED rumor.

 

[SouthEastSleuth]

is Raven bisexual?

Now correct me if I'm wrong gang, but THAT is truly unsubstantiated information. There was some banter about that a week or so ago, but nothing more... And I remember correctly, the banter started based on some information shared from a rumor mill at work type thing....

 

[Timex]

Now correct me if I'm wrong gang, but THAT is truly unsubstantiated information. There was some banter about that a week or so ago, but nothing more... And I remember correctly, the banter started based on some information shared from a rumor mill at work type thing....

Thats why I asked...someone had just posted about his dating men and women...was the first I had heard about him being bisexual.

 

[anneshirley]

Glad to see your husband appreciated the "sleuthing."

Just a thought and maybe a mormon can help me out here. Do we really think Raven would register on a mormon dating site? Can't they check you out to see if you're really single and if you're not, remove you? I'm thinking Raven got it "on the side" with girls and/or boys he already knew or met at work or soccer. From the ones who posted that they know he had multiple affairs and didn't care much for Janet's feelings, imo, I don't see him being real discreet and using a dating site. ???

mormon dating sites are much like regular dating sites. they can't check to see if you are telling the truth about your marital status. however, i don't see Raven signing on to a Mormon dating site. Most mormons are very strict in our beliefs (no premarital sex). I'm not saying that Raven would only be interested in sex...but, well...maybe I am. I can't seem him, knowing most mormons' standards, looking for a "good time" on any of those sites. Now, i could be completely mistaken.
i wouldn't be surprised to catch him on a more...risque site, though.

 

[Rooster]

Glad to see your husband appreciated the "sleuthing."

Just a thought and maybe a mormon can help me out here. Do we really think Raven would register on a mormon dating site? Can't they check you out to see if you're really single and if you're not, remove you? I'm thinking Raven got it "on the side" with girls and/or boys he already knew or met at work or soccer. From the ones who posted that they know he had multiple affairs and didn't care much for Janet's feelings, imo, I don't see him being real discreet and using a dating site. ???

I really don't think he was trying to date anyone. Now or then. I don't think your going to find anything at any dating sight. (go ahead and look though...he could have...)
BTW, You can put a photo of yourself on Hot or Not without adding yourself to the dating part of the site.
A relitive of mine put a photo of me on there without my consent. After it was on there for a while, she was like "Hey I put your photo on Hot or Not and look your score is...?(don't remember the score) At first I wasn't happy until I saw my score...and then I was like okay...whatever at least there not saying I'm ugly.
So, maybe Raven(or someone) just wanted to see if he was "Hot or Not".

 

[anneshirley]

I really don't think he was trying to date anyone. Now or then. I don't think your going to find anything at any dating sight. (go ahead and look though...he could have...)
BTW, You can put a photo of yourself on Hot or Not without adding yourself to the dating part of the site.
A relitive of mine put a photo of me on there without my consent. After it was on there for a while, she was like "Hey I put your photo on Hot or Not and look your score is...?(don't remember the score) At first I wasn't happy until I saw my score...and then I was like okay...whatever at least there not saying I'm ugly.
So, maybe Raven(or someone) just wanted to see if he was "Hot or Not".

But why would a married father want to get rated as being "Hot or Not" by total strangers? It seems a bit off to me.

 

[Timex]

But why would a married father want to get rated as being "Hot or Not" by total strangers? It seems a bit off to me.

Why do married women still wish to feel as if they are attractive to others? Vanity doesnt stop just because one gets married or has a child. If a person is vain before, they will be vain afterwards.

 

[anneshirley]

Why do married women still wish to feel as if they are attractive to others? Vanity doesnt stop just because one gets married or has a child. If a person is vain before, they will be vain afterwards.

I completely agree with you. What I don't get, though, is a husband who is actively looking for that reassurance from strangers...and not his wife.

 

[Timex]

I completely agree with you. What I don't get, though, is a husband who is actively looking for that reassurance from strangers...and not his wife.

Isnt something I would understand either, just know it happens quite often. If someone was a flirt before marriage, I would expect them to be a flirt after marriage. Its just part of who they are I guess.

I should add, to me it shows insecurity, but that's just how I see it.

 

[anneshirley]

Isnt something I would understand either, just know it happens quite often. If someone was a flirt before marriage, I would expect them to be a flirt after marriage. Its just part of who they are I guess.

I should add, to me it shows insecurity, but that's just how I see it.

Insecurity and needing to belong seem to be a prevalent theme in Raven's writings/posts.

 

[Timex]

Insecurity and needing to belong seem to be a prevalent theme in Raven's writings/posts.

Yes, I agree with this statement. His posts on the vx boards though are somewhat typical IMO, of folks that are seriously into the "scene". Kind of reminds me of Harley folk. They have a one track mind, and forever trying to "one-up" everyone with their bike's ability, design, vintage etc. We have a group here called "Desert Cruisers" which is made up of classic auto's and their owners. They drive me nuts because it seems the only conversation they know how to conduct is about classic cars. They may not own a home, or have much of anything else, yet their cars are top notch, worth mega bucks.

 

[Moxie]

SEE! THAT infuriates me actually. Find out ANYTHING? Hello? Do your job and dig a little. Or, come here and get some "exclusive" information to report.

Investigative reporters should do just that - INVESTIGATE.

-Run a story about WHY there is no movement in this case.
-Run a story about the embezzlement charges, and if they link in any way to this case.
-Run a story about various alternative theories on what happened.
-Run a story where you interview friends, co-workers, etc., about the Abaroas.
-Run a story that investigates the financial difficulties the Abaroas were dealing with.
-Run a story about unsolved murders in Durham.
-Try and get an interview with Raven Abaroa.
-Push LE for more information. If there are NO suspects, then why don't they ask the public for help? It was reported that the citizens of Durham had nothing to worry about. Get LE to explain that statement. If they are awaiting lab results, etc., then get them to just SAY that.
-Hell, run a story ABOUT WebSleuths, and their DAILY investigations of this case.

But do SOMETHING.

Janet deserves justice, and a voice.
Kaiden deserves justice for his mother, that he will never know.
And if indeed Raven is not a POI, and is proven innocent, then yes, Raven deserves justice for his wife.

The Abaroas may not have been the wealthy and socially connected Sapikowski's of neighboring Chapel Hill ( and don't misunderstand me, I don't belittle ANY of the reporting done locally on that case, at all)....

BUT, the Abaroas were a young family. In Durham. A man, his wife, and their six-month old child.

And one of them was violently murdered, over six weeks ago - Janet.

And she is just as important as any other citizen. And she deserves attention and she deserves justice.

All of that said - I have no doubt that there is countless amounts of information about this case of which we have no knowledge. God, I hope so anyway. I have to believe in my heart that LE wants justice for Janet as well. I want to believe that those hardworking folks are doing everything in their power to find the person(s) responsible for Janet's death.

But I do believe that local media could be doing a much better job at pursuing this crime. They do it doggedly everyday with other cases.

One day I look forward to opening the newspaper, turning on the news, getting online - somewhere, some method, and seeing/hearing - a suspect has been arrested in the death of Janet Abaroa!

Until that day, I'll just keep digging along. Venting my frustrations. And, doing my part to focus any attention whatsoever on one person -

JANET ABAROA

SES,

You amaze me!! You raise very good questions and topics for the media to cover. Is there anyway that we can contact the folks in the media who have been covering this story and ask them to dig deeper into the above questions? I know Raven's embezzlement hearing is this Friday, so that would be as good a place as any to start with a renewed focus on covering this case.

The good folks on this board are so impressive - I cannot tell you how much I have learned about viewing things from all angles and not being afraid to ask questions. Ultimately all that matters is finding who did this to Janet and holding them accountable, and everyone's opinion helps bring us to that answer.

Take care,
Moxie

 

[golfmom]

So, maybe Raven(or someone) just wanted to see if he was "Hot or Not".

I'm still thinking it had to be Raven. It was his website that linked to "hot or not" I'm not reading too much into it though. At the very minimum it does fit the idea that he is a man who cares about how he looks and is perceived by others.

NCBanker could probably help here by addressing how LDS would view this. I know from my church that this would be considered highly inappropriate behavior.

 

[Timex]

Since we know for a fact that Raven embezzled, I would be of the opinion he really wouldnt care what the church thought about his online activities. I mean surely the church would frown upon embezzlement, right? Im thinking Raven was not a devout Mormon, since his actions show just the opposite.
He had extra-marital affairs (possibly with both men and women), embezzled, was seperated from his wife, posts on kinky websites. Just doesnt appear as if he gives a rip about what the church thinks.