I.S.O. Family
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- Joined
- Nov 20, 2022
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Our story: Our biological mother married our biological father when she was just 15, and he was 24. They were migrant workers during the early 70's. So because of this each of us kids were born in a different location. My biological sister was born in Sarasota FL, my biological brother, Tampa FL and I was born in Bradenton FL.
Unfortunately and I guess kind of expected the marriage didn't survive. By the time our biological mother was 20 she had 3 children under the age of 5 and single. So she traveled back to NJ and NY to try and put her life back together after her marriage fell apart. Unfortunately she didn't have the best relationship with her mother before she was married and her mother was less than willing to help her out so she ended up making the very difficult decision to put my brother and I up for adoption and keep my sister (she has medical issues so she chose to keep her and take care of her).
So my biological brother and I were adopted. Social Services had us kept together so we were adopted by the same family. We were adopted by a family that already had 2 biological children (1 son and 1 daughter) This was in 1976. However this didn't last. When I was 4 years old it seemed like over night. One day my brother was there and then the next day he was gone. When I inquired with our adoptive parents I was given the excuse that my brother had developmental issues that they couldn't handle. However even at 4 years old I knew this was BS. The developmental issues they told me happened to be the profession our adoptive father was doing and had been doing for several years.
This would be the last time I would see my brother. When I was around 10-12 years old my adoptive mother told me that my biological brother had written a letter requesting a visit. She refused to let me see him. Now here is one of the issues i struggle with, was this a lie and she was messing with me because this is right up her alley or did he really reach out to me. I am not sure whether or not to believe her.
I struggle with any belief in my adoptive mother or any member of my adoptive family because from the time my biological brother disappeared until I was 14 years old I was abused daily. I was physically, sexually, and psychologically abused. Everything from being left in our house as it burned down around me, sexually abused by both siblings, left in a car after a car accident as the car was about to roll over, attempt to murder me by strangling me, etc. This lasted for 10 years of my life. When I was 14 I was removed from them for my own protection and I spent the rest of my teen years from foster home to foster home. I aged out when I was 18 when I went off to college.
I made the decision at 16 that I was going to start my search for my biological brother. However growing up in NY made it nearly impossible as well as the fact that I was born in FL so both states liked to tell me they didn't have the records and couldn't help me. NY also had closed records until recently so the only details they would give me was my non identifying information. This is when I found out I had an older biological sister. This is also when I found out how old my mother was when I was born and how old my father was when I was born. Aside from that, they didn't give me any other information.
So since I was 16 I had not made a whole lot of progress. Years ago I started taking DNA test. I started with 23andme but didn't get anywhere with that. I then I moved onto Myheritage.com, Gedmatch.com, and several other sites and the only progress I made was when I connected with my fathers half brother through myheritage. It took us awhile to figure out exactly how we connected since on myheritage it was pretty vague. I eventually took a DNA test through Ancestry.com and found myself a search angel. She was able to help me and she helped me figure out who my parents are, actual names and helped me build my initial family tree on ancestry. After she helped me with that I eventually found my biological mother, sister, and several relatives on my mothers side. I also found a couple of relatives on my fathers side however no closer to finding my brother.
My cousin has been nice enough to set up a Facebook group to help me find my brother. I was hoping after all these DNA testing sites and everything else I have done to try and find him. I even used the same tools I used to find my birth mother (I posted on Craigslist). I have tried posting all over the country because I have no idea where he may be. I have registered with every reunion registry in NY and the international registry as well. However the my main issue is if my adopted parents were correct and he has developmental disorders then he may not know about any of these sites and options to reconnect. I have no way to figure out if he did really end up in a home for developmentally handicap children and then adults. I have even reached out to the local police department where I lived when he disappeared and they never responded to me. So I have no idea if he is alive or not.
I really don't know where to turn or what other options I have to find him. I refuse to give up but I just feel like I don't have other options other than a private eye but I can't afford that. I am hoping that if I get my story out there that I maybe others can help me reconnect with him.
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Unfortunately and I guess kind of expected the marriage didn't survive. By the time our biological mother was 20 she had 3 children under the age of 5 and single. So she traveled back to NJ and NY to try and put her life back together after her marriage fell apart. Unfortunately she didn't have the best relationship with her mother before she was married and her mother was less than willing to help her out so she ended up making the very difficult decision to put my brother and I up for adoption and keep my sister (she has medical issues so she chose to keep her and take care of her).
So my biological brother and I were adopted. Social Services had us kept together so we were adopted by the same family. We were adopted by a family that already had 2 biological children (1 son and 1 daughter) This was in 1976. However this didn't last. When I was 4 years old it seemed like over night. One day my brother was there and then the next day he was gone. When I inquired with our adoptive parents I was given the excuse that my brother had developmental issues that they couldn't handle. However even at 4 years old I knew this was BS. The developmental issues they told me happened to be the profession our adoptive father was doing and had been doing for several years.
This would be the last time I would see my brother. When I was around 10-12 years old my adoptive mother told me that my biological brother had written a letter requesting a visit. She refused to let me see him. Now here is one of the issues i struggle with, was this a lie and she was messing with me because this is right up her alley or did he really reach out to me. I am not sure whether or not to believe her.
I struggle with any belief in my adoptive mother or any member of my adoptive family because from the time my biological brother disappeared until I was 14 years old I was abused daily. I was physically, sexually, and psychologically abused. Everything from being left in our house as it burned down around me, sexually abused by both siblings, left in a car after a car accident as the car was about to roll over, attempt to murder me by strangling me, etc. This lasted for 10 years of my life. When I was 14 I was removed from them for my own protection and I spent the rest of my teen years from foster home to foster home. I aged out when I was 18 when I went off to college.
I made the decision at 16 that I was going to start my search for my biological brother. However growing up in NY made it nearly impossible as well as the fact that I was born in FL so both states liked to tell me they didn't have the records and couldn't help me. NY also had closed records until recently so the only details they would give me was my non identifying information. This is when I found out I had an older biological sister. This is also when I found out how old my mother was when I was born and how old my father was when I was born. Aside from that, they didn't give me any other information.
So since I was 16 I had not made a whole lot of progress. Years ago I started taking DNA test. I started with 23andme but didn't get anywhere with that. I then I moved onto Myheritage.com, Gedmatch.com, and several other sites and the only progress I made was when I connected with my fathers half brother through myheritage. It took us awhile to figure out exactly how we connected since on myheritage it was pretty vague. I eventually took a DNA test through Ancestry.com and found myself a search angel. She was able to help me and she helped me figure out who my parents are, actual names and helped me build my initial family tree on ancestry. After she helped me with that I eventually found my biological mother, sister, and several relatives on my mothers side. I also found a couple of relatives on my fathers side however no closer to finding my brother.
My cousin has been nice enough to set up a Facebook group to help me find my brother. I was hoping after all these DNA testing sites and everything else I have done to try and find him. I even used the same tools I used to find my birth mother (I posted on Craigslist). I have tried posting all over the country because I have no idea where he may be. I have registered with every reunion registry in NY and the international registry as well. However the my main issue is if my adopted parents were correct and he has developmental disorders then he may not know about any of these sites and options to reconnect. I have no way to figure out if he did really end up in a home for developmentally handicap children and then adults. I have even reached out to the local police department where I lived when he disappeared and they never responded to me. So I have no idea if he is alive or not.
I really don't know where to turn or what other options I have to find him. I refuse to give up but I just feel like I don't have other options other than a private eye but I can't afford that. I am hoping that if I get my story out there that I maybe others can help me reconnect with him.
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