GUILTY IA - Gabriel McFarland, 4 mos, dies of head trauma, Des Moines, 22 April 2014

[borndem]

Oh my! This is beyond sad!

Yes, CHERIE.T, another tragedy for a number of people. The couple who had everything ready -- a home filled with dreams & love; grandparents and cousins, probably; clothes; a crib; books to read to and to raise their little new one; and big areas of their hearts which were filled with anticipation, amazing happiness, and then utter sorrow and nothing to fill those holes -- probably ever.

So, what happened? Did the infant just cry too much or too loud? Jealousy of the time his wife was spending with "that baby"? Was parenting a little more work than he thought it would be?

This just keeps happening again & again & again & again & again.

Just dammit.

 

[borndem]

The medical examiner has concluded that the baby died of head trauma. It was murder, not an accident. This has to be one of the saddest cases I've ever read. A child was taken from a loving home only to be murdered by his father.

Four-month-old Gabriel King McFarland died of abusive head trauma, a medical examiner determined.

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/st...8/father-charged-murder-infant-death/8422785/

bbm

I'm so glad to see that MSM is using "McFarland" as his last name. At least there is that ...

 

[jjenny]

Yes, CHERIE.T, another tragedy for a number of people. The couple who had everything ready -- a home filled with dreams & love; grandparents and cousins, probably; clothes; a crib; books to read to and to raise their little new one; and big areas of their hearts which were filled with anticipation, amazing happiness, and then utter sorrow and nothing to fill those holes -- probably ever.

So, what happened? Did the infant just cry too much or too loud? Jealousy of the time his wife was spending with "that baby"? Was parenting a little more work than he thought it would be?

This just keeps happening again & again & again & again & again.

Just dammit.

If you are talking about 17 year old, he didn't have a wife. He wasn't spending much time on parenting either. He didn't live with the baby.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

bbm

I'm so glad to see that MSM is using "McFarland" as his last name. At least there is that ...

That is not his name. I know they are using but it's wrong. They should be using the name his mother have him


Forgive the autocorrect. Tapatalk has a mind of its own.

 

[MyBelle]

If you are talking about 17 year old, he didn't have a wife. He wasn't spending much time on parenting either. He didn't live with the baby.

Most juniors in high school aren't prepared to be parents which is why hospitals offer free parenting classes. I doubt this father took any such classes.

JMO

 

[MyBelle]

bbm

I'm so glad to see that MSM is using "McFarland" as his last name. At least there is that ...

I think media use it because police are using it. It is probably his legal name on both his birth certificate and death certificate.

JMO

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

Most juniors in high school aren't prepared to be parents which is why hospitals offer free parenting classes. I doubt this father took any such classes.



JMO

Most people of all ages are prepared to be parents. There are many parents who are older and have money and never take a parenting class are lousy.

I've seen great dads at 18.




Forgive the autocorrect. Tapatalk has a mind of its own.

 

[borndem]

If you are talking about 17 year old, he didn't have a wife. He wasn't spending much time on parenting either. He didn't live with the baby.

Yes, jjenny, I know he wasn't living with the mother and son. And you're right -- they were certainly not man & wife -- it was a slip of the mind and of the fingers on the keyboard, mea culpa... I was just thinking that since he was at Markeyla's house & she left Gabriel with him, it was a parental role he was in since he was keeping her till Mom returned.

Apparently he didn't like it all that much. And now he is up on murder charges. And a handful of folks are sad & probably will be inconsolable for a long, long time. And so very cruel and unnecessary, no matter who had custody of Gabriel.

 

[jjenny]

Yes, jjenny, I know he wasn't living with the mother and son. And you're right -- they were certainly not man & wife -- it was a slip of the mind and of the fingers on the keyboard, mea culpa... I was just thinking that since he was at Markeyla's house & she left Gabriel with him, it was a parental role he was in since he was keeping her till Mom returned.

Apparently he didn't like it all that much. And now he is up on murder charges. And a handful of folks are sad & probably will be inconsolable for a long, long time. And so very cruel and unnecessary, no matter who had custody of Gabriel.

This was supposedly the first time he was alone with the baby.

 

[psyquestor]

The boy's name is a moot point. How he came about getting that name, is a moot point. The age of the parents is irrelevant, as many parents young and old are unfit. The child is dead, apparently at the hands of his own father, who may or may not have ever been left alone with the baby before. The Mother is young, but so were many of us. Her age, background and circumstances are not up for discussion here - she is a victim of this crime. The adoption is not up for discussion, nor the circumstances leading up to the birth Mother regaining her parental rights. Continual leans toward that topic are truly frustrating.

Shall we discuss the father of the baby? What more needs to be said? He has been arrested and details will come out in the trial, if there is one.

 

[tlcya]

:banghead:

 

[psyquestor]

Regarding the age of the parents. I was 15 when my daughter was born. Her "father" was 28 and a drug dealer, child molester. I did my best to raise her and keep her safe from him. Luckily for me, his drugs meant more to him than seeing or supporting his child did. He had been abusing me since I was 12 years old. I thought I'd come up with an ingenious way to disclose what he was doing, complete with DNA proof. (no one believed me). Even being this naive did not stop me from raising my daughter on my own. She did all of the things I never had a chance to. Went to all her proms, captain of her volleyball and cheerleader squads, graduated Valedictorian of her class and went off to the University on full scholarship. She now holds a bachelor's in Social Work.

My age was a deficit, but I raised her well none the less. I worked up to three jobs to make a good living for us and made sure she had the upbringing I never did. It's now 29 years later and she is my greatest accomplishment. I don't recommend having a baby at 15, but for us, it worked out.

Keep this in mind when discussing how teen aged parents are not equipped to raise a baby, or that the parents age had anything to do with this. By 17 years old, the boy surely was old enough to know better and age had nothing to do with the trauma that baby faced. It had everything to do with his father not being fit to breathe the same air as decent folk. I hope he rots in jail.

Final two cents before I unsub from this thread.

 

[psyquestor]

^^ forgot to add, I came up with this "ingenious way" because other methods (such as telling) were closed off to me. My abuser said he would sneak in my parents home and kill them all, rather than go to jail. So, in my mind this was the only way to tell, without telling.

Made sense to the 15 year old girl I used to be anyway.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

Regarding the age of the parents. I was 15 when my daughter was born. Her "father" was 28 and a drug dealer, child molester. I did my best to raise her and keep her safe from him. Luckily for me, his drugs meant more to him than seeing or supporting his child did. He had been abusing me since I was 12 years old. I thought I'd come up with an ingenious way to disclose what he was doing, complete with DNA proof. (no one believed me). Even being this naive did not stop me from raising my daughter on my own. She did all of the things I never had a chance to. Went to all her proms, captain of her volleyball and cheerleader squads, graduated Valedictorian of her class and went off to the University on full scholarship. She now holds a bachelor's in Social Work.

My age was a deficit, but I raised her well none the less. I worked up to three jobs to make a good living for us and made sure she had the upbringing I never did. It's now 29 years later and she is my greatest accomplishment. I don't recommend having a baby at 15, but for us, it worked out.

Keep this in mind when discussing how teen aged parents are not equipped to raise a baby, or that the parents age had anything to do with this. By 17 years old, the boy surely was old enough to know better and age had nothing to do with the trauma that baby faced. It had everything to do with his father not being fit to breathe the same air as decent folk. I hope he rots in jail.

Final two cents before I unsub from this thread.

That is an amazing story. Happy Mother's Day!!!! You are an amazing mother. I know other teen mothers who raised kids and raised them well. I don't think age matters as much as the heart of the mother who has them.

 

[borndem]

Re 16 y/o having no business in apt, totally alone or w baby, ITA, ~99% of the time. Is she the 1%, IDK.

Re her friends in school, IDK.
I try not to make ASSumptions, so speculated (emphasis, speculated)
her friends may be employed, unemployed, w babies or without babies, in school, not in school. Or a combo.
As I'm the last person west of the Mississippi not using FB, Instagram, etc.,
I thought others here may have info, facts, or an impression of her from soc med, if that is acceptable under W/S ToS.

I missed interview w her saying her fam supported her financially in her own apt. Link pls?

Thanks for your post. Always open to other views I may have overlooked.:seeya:

bbm

Well, a66pine, I am the last person east of the Mississippi not using FB, Instagram, etc.

You & me, babe!

I'm not a teen or a twenty-something, and beyond that, so maybe I'm out of step, but unless the apt were in the same building, etc., as mine (as her mother, which of course, I'm not), I would have to say No to the idea of her having her own living quarters. There may be circumstances that we don't know about that would make the situation less bothersome (at least in my parental protective mind). We may or may not get more details about this arrangement... Anyway... Bless her broken heart. Markeyla has been on such a roller-coaster of happy, scared, what-to-do, and deep sorrow.

The world is not safe, and even a very mature 16 y/o does not have a mature, adult brain yet -- medically & psychologically speaking. It's not anyone's fault, but that's just the facts.

Oh, this is like so many situations we see together here -- we don't know all the story, and we usually never do or will... All we can do is what we can for justice for as many persons in a case as possible. Big job we've got, huh?!

 

[kmclaren]

HE was hers to take back. Her son. Her legal rights.

Baby Gabriel was not a toaster or a possession that someone owned. An adoption plan was made for him, he was placed in a loving home. The birth mother disrupted that adoption and now he is dead, those are the facts as I see them.

I am sorry for the birth mom and it sounds like she had no direct role in his death. But I also feel very sad for the adoptive parents who loved him and had him in their life for such a brief time - but more time in fact, than the birth mom.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

Baby Gabriel was not a toaster or a possession that someone owned. An adoption plan was made for him, he was placed in a loving home. The birth mother disrupted that adoption and now he is dead, those are the facts as I see them.

I am sorry for the birth mom and it sounds like she had no direct role in his death. But I also feel very sad for the adoptive parents who loved him and had him in their life for such a brief time - but more time in fact, than the birth mom.

That is not the subject of this thread. No one thinks that Gabriel was anything less than a precious human.

 

[borndem]

Guys - I have just removed about 3 pages of posts. I'm sorry there was not some one available earlier to take a look. Staff is currently dealing with issues behind the scenes which interferes with our ability to be here with all of you.

Please remember - when a post is off-topic, don't respond to it.

When a post violates TOS - hit the alert button and scroll on by. Don't respond. Once someone responds it becomes an entire discussion and causes a lot of work for the mods. We try to get here as soon as we can. Please be a little patient with us right now. We are here, we are just not quite as quick on the draw right now.

Thanks,

Salem

Thanks for all you do, Salem, and of course that include the whole bunch! Sorry to hear you all are having to deal with whatever-it-is.Take a breath. Whew! As Gilda Radner said, "It's always something."

We wuv you all & we'll do our best to keep within the boundaries.

:websleuther:


:gomods: . :gomods: . :gomods: . :gomods: . :gomods: . :gomods: . :gomods:
​

 

[Hoosgirl]

[modsnip] I have had no luck finding an obituary, though. If anyone finds one, please post. I hope he is laid to rest soon, poor wee one. Heartbreaking for this mama to contemplate as I sit here snuggling my little guy on Mother's Day

Sent from my SM-G730V using Tapatalk

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

[modsnip] I have had no luck finding an obituary, though. If anyone finds one, please post. I hope he is laid to rest soon, poor wee one. Heartbreaking for this mama to contemplate as I sit here snuggling my little guy on Mother's Day

Sent from my SM-G730V using Tapatalk

Saw that too.

I know. I spent the day with my kids today and can not imagine my life without them. I saw this today,
"Mothers day is a day of appreciation and respect. I can not think of no mother who deserves it more than one who have had to give a child back. "
Erma Bombeck.