Does anybody know:
Are there any public statements or publicly available testimony from M.G. or her bf specifically stating (or declining to answer a related question) regarding:
- When you saw Alex Cox carry in JJ, are you sure he was alive and asleep or could he have been dead? How do you know this?
-When you saw Alex Cox carry in JJ, what exactly was he wearing?
-In the morning you left Rexburg, you did not see or hear JJ. What first woke you up? Did you see or hear anyone else up in the morning? Lori/your bf-gf getting breakfast/making coffee? Doors opening and closing? Lori/your bf-gf in a bedroom getting dressed? making a bed? turning on/off radio, TV, podcast? Talking on phone?
I think that morning is very relevant. At the very least, Melanie and bf should own up to admitting something was very wrong. It seems remarkable, as someone pointed out above, that one of the few specific times Melanie recalled was departure time from this apt. Why was this easier for her to remember? How credible is it that JJ managed to have a bolting episode including knocking something hard from 5' to a hard ground, some communication going out to Alex's home, Alex entering, taking possession of JJ, possibly while he is in meltdown-mode, and leaving.
An autistic kid in a meltdown is different from a kid testing limits or having a tantrum. Melting down is not manipulating; negotiations don't work. If you can hand the kid the cookie they have been demanding, and the head banging stops (not a recommended technique), it is a tantrum, not a meltdown. The child is in control, and no longer needed to have a tantrum when their problem was solved.
When I listen to the baby sitter's narrative, it sounds like an autistic child out of control, and probably trying to regain control by doing things like pushing heavy furniture (to feel his body in space) and hiding under Lori's bed. There are ways to help a child learn to regain control. But behavior mod techniques that are used for manipulative tantrums are useless. You can't reward and punish a kid out of having meltdowns. A tantrum is a means to an end. A meltdown is itself its own undesired state, and the child does not want to have melted down.
This is relevant to me, because unlike a tantrum, once a meltdown starts, regaining control tends to be gradual. It sounds like JJ was not non-verbal in his meltdown with a near stranger (the baby-sitter). So it seems highly unlikely that he would be non-verbal while allegedly bolting up the kitchen walls. I do not believe that happened that morning. (which of the 3 br was over the kitchen?) But the narrative does match with JJ going under Lori's bed. Some kids find it easier to regain control when their bodies are touching something firm. (We can thank autistic kiddos for bringing us weighted blankets. Turns out, you don't have to be autistic to like them!) Such kids would go under a tight bed or between the top of the cabinets and the ceiling.
Speaking of autistic kiddos in general, I can't imagine how dreadful it was for JJ to live with Lori as he got older and older, and his ability to understand what Lori was saying and doing got more and more sophisticated.
Lori is certainly in control of her emotions, but JJ was not. In general, autistic children are not liars. I don't know about JJ, but I personally have seen autistic kids with normal intelligence who would not have even learned to lie well at that age. It appears that Tylee (and CR) were either subtly or overtly put in positions to lie for their mother, and that would have been very difficult to replicate with JJ, I imagine.
JJ was verbal. In general, autistic/persons are not inclined to lie, even a social niceties. Even with average intelligence, some autistic kids his age either can not yet lie or do so very immaturely, like a 3 year old. In general, autistic kids with average intelligence are behind average kids in changing their behavior by location. (A typical 4 year old would know, I can run at aunties and in my basement, no where at GM's or the library, but I can run anywhere on the playground; a 2 year old may not differentiate. An autistic kiddo with average intelligence may learn behavior expectations by location later than neuro-typical kids.) In general, autistic kids take longer to learn the perspective of others compared to neurotypical kids. (They care, so it is not at all failure to care about others.) But there generally is a delay in understanding another's perspective. This delay in understanding another's perspective contributes to the difficulty developing the skill to lie.
Tylee and CR do not appear to me to have even a dash of autism. They seem quite social. So they would learn to lie younger. And they would learn to roll with it, assume there must be some good reason their good mother was lying. Social kiddos adapt to lying parents at times by finding a justification or even having faith that there is an explanation with which they are not aware. In addition, social kiddos learn what their parents' need and feel driven to provide it (to their psychological detriment, often). Thus, Tylee and CR probably found ways to assume that their mother's lies were for a good end, and in fact, she needed these lies so they learned to lie too or at least stay out of any challenge to the lies. If this is extreme, the children could begin to have an altered view of what is true and real just to keep up and/or survive. (Forget things they should remember or remember things that never happened.) This is of course very distressing in the long-term, but it is a brilliant way for children to survive with a very needy mother. It requires skills that very social kids learn earlier and more autistic kids learn later, if ever.
Lori's string of lies would be very difficult for JJ as he got older and older. Someone who knew JJ would have to comment. Some autistic kiddos are very distressed by what they believe is inaccurate information. If JJ heard Lori mentioning CV's heart attack, he would say something like, "He went on a business trip and couldn't bring me to school." Conflicting information, especially conflicting information about something he cared a lot about---such as his father, could create a lot of anxiety for some autistic kiddos. Autistic kiddos are less likely to rationalize the conflicting information and instead perseverate on it until the conflict is "taken back" or integrated. So, for instance, JJ, I speculate would request that it is repeated around him that CV is on a business trip and did NOT have a heart attack. (Taking the conflicting statement back.) Or, repeat a scenario that integrates the conflict: he went on a business trip, then had a heart attack. In general, autistic kiddos don't just let go of old information when new information comes in as easily as neurotypical kiddos.
JJ, Tylee, CR, and every dependent child in the world needs the adults who raise them. If the adult is needy, children instinctively take on caring for their parents absent some intervention. This is not different for children with any level of or absence of autism, but, in general, autistic kiddos are delayed in learning how to do this. I can't see JJ learning fast enough for Lori not to correct her "mistakes," which he probably would not see as lies, let alone learning to support her lies. No wonder he was "dark" at such a young age.

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I feel awful for all three of those survivors. It is hard enough to wrap one's young head around explicit physical and/or sexual abuse, as evidently CR and Tylee did at the hands of JR. But to have to comes to terms with that, learn how to integrate parental love, love for parents, betrayal by parents, and come out whole is one thing. But to try to do all of that while evidently meeting your mother's needs for reporting real and/or unreal physical and sexual abuse can only make sorting this kind of stuff out even harder. I felt so bad for Tylee reporting CV stealing her mom's purse. That poor child had no space in her life to feel her own feelings. I can't imagine.