Jaycee's Bio dad

[Openmind]

if he cares about jaycee like he claims he does, he would back off.

Absolutely agree. His method of communication is pure drama.

A spokeswoman for the Dugard family said they have not been contacted by Slayton since Dugard was found.

"This all comes as a big surprise," family spokeswoman Erika Schulte told the Los Angleles Times.

So, his only attempt to contact the family was via a news conference. He makse himself one more issue to handle for a young woman that doesn't even know who he is.

http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/09/24/crimesider/entry5334803.shtml

 

[Tizzle]

Honestly, all these posts with far reaching excuses for Mr. Slayton have done for me is amplify negativity toward what I previous just assumed was a man who decided to dis a daughter he had with a woman that he barely knew, to turning him into a monster in my mind.
He now in my mind has become someone who is probably estranged from his first family, and probably never supported them much, keeps lots of secrets and is now selfishly trying to catch on to the gravy train he thinks is comin his way.

I also wonder about the relationship with his first family. Maybe we'll hear more from them, but hopefully not. Their personal lives are just that, personal. Not to mention, Ken would likely be demonized because either he wasn't involved much with them or it will be viewed as a publicity stunt in order to generate $$$ by all the naysayers.

Lets not forget that all 4 of Mr. Slayton's children have mothers who also get to decide what information is brought into their children's lives. Also shouldn't forget that Terry was a participating member in the "fling" and got pregnant by a man she barely knew. Maybe the only reason she called him and only called once is because she knew he would find out from the mutual friend and thought it would be best to address the issue up front and save herself and him any unnecessary surprises when he found out from mutual friend and not her. She could have pursued a paternity judgement but didn't. Ever known a woman that didn't pursue support for a child? If so, why didn't they pursue it? Think about it. Ever known a man that didn't pursue a paternity judgement? It's more rare for a woman to not pursue support than it is for a man to not pursue a paternity judgement. So why didn't she?

Don't get me wrong, being a deadbeat dad is deplorable, in my book. But we, as humans, have luckily been given the ability to transform as we move through life and forgiveness is another ability we were given as humans. Forgiveness will likely play a huge role in Jaycee's healing. So why is it so hard for people to forgive a man that made bad choices 20-30 years ago?Jaycee likely will. Maybe not, but I hope that she is able to close the chapter of her life titled "No Daddy" by reuniting with him when she is ready. You have to remember that Jaycee has probably wondered about him her whole life, including her years being held in captivity, probably more during this time. Just because she was only 11 when she was taken doesn't mean she didn't know she had an absentee father and probably carried that knowledge with her during captivity, wondering about him and why. If that's the case, Mr. Slayton's message would be viewed as a blessing in her eyes. Imagine Jaycee, during all of this, finding a reason to be overjoyed about something. Wouldn't that be wonderful for her?

If she had never been abducted, they would have probably met long before now. She was robbed of that chance. In SOME cases where fathers are absent from their child's life, it's because that is the way the mother wants it. This is possibly what happened here and maybe it was just the easy way out for him or he may have just been resigned to the hope that one day she would find him when she was old enough. Meanwhile, he has other families and decides (whether it was the best decision or not is not for me to decide), along with the mothers, that is best to not involve them. Then Jaycee is abducted, so he (with the mothers possibly) decides, "Why bother upsetting them with the knowledge that they have a long lost sibling, but will probably never meet her?" What is so horrible about sparing your young children of the scary details of an abducted sibling they never knew of? That information would scare any young child. Again, their mothers likely would have wanted to spare them of this. Maybe he had cheated on his first wife with Terry and was too ashamed to tell his first children. Not that that is the best idea, but as I've said 100 times before....PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES. It wouldn't be the first time this scenario has happened. It wouldn't be the first time kids find out later in life that one of their parents had another child out of wedlock that they never knew about. It happens all the time, long lost siblings reunited. But those stories warm the heart. In this case, however, he is a monster because everyone is so angry about the situation that they have to villainize everyone attached to it. Redirecting anger to the wrong source is unhealthy. Phil and Nancy deserve all that angry energy. Not some guy that effed up long ago and now wants to make it right. It's horrible when a parent abandons their child, but it would be worse if that parent goes through life with no regrets of being absent, remaining indifferent to the child they abandoned.

Also, he has backed off, thus far. He held the press conference to let his intentions and wishes be known. We have heard nothing further from him and I hope we don't. It is clearly stated by him "when she is ready". He put the message out there in hopes that Jaycee would someday find out and contact him in her own time.

 

[Tizzle]

OH he did say it was a one month affair and she was a nice girl.
Maybe there is no dirty laundry or he would be happy to air it.

THE REASON he needs a lawyer now, now, now is???
When is TIME< TIME< TIME, & DISCRESSION not a good virtue.....?
what media hounded him, he is a star?
he should have kept a low profile, and thats all she wrote.

I think later, later, later, would have been considerate.
YOU DONT GO ON TV and then say the media hounded him,,,,no, no, no.....
You sure do not need a top dog lawyer, And yes I wrote to her she is a media ho.

BBM
Song, flourish's post was in reference to your statement that he would be happy to air it and how you would know that he would be happy to air it. The question in flourish's post wasn't about whether or not there was dirty laundry, but, instead, how you know he would be happy to air it if there were any. I'm pretty sure that flourish would have addressed me directly and not through you, if that were the case. How do you, in fact, know that he would be happy to air any dirty laundry if there were any? That's what flourish was asking. Get it now?

 

[Trident]

He was approached by the media to begin with. He didn't seek them out. And no he isn't a star, but he has been thrust into the spotlight as a result of his connection to Jaycee. I'm sure he wasn't approached by one media outlet and then left alone. That isn't how the paparazzi works. They hound any angle of every story, period.
The man is a United States Soldier/Vietnam War Veteran with a PURPLE HEART. Usually "crumbs" don't receive those. I thank him for his service and feel blessed that this hero was able to survive such an horrendous war in order to conceive another hero.

Have you watched to full Slayton Press Conference? Here ya go...

I'm new here, :wave: so forgive me if my posting isn't up to par. However, I just watched the video and it made me sick. Something just doesn't seem right the way "dad" and his lawyer are putting so much emphasis on "his" paternity. I smell something foul in the wind and, in my opinion, something wicked this way comes.

 

[flourish]

BBM
Song, flourish's post was in reference to your statement that he would be happy to air it and how you would know that he would be happy to air it. The question in flourish's post wasn't about whether or not there was dirty laundry, but, instead, how you know he would be happy to air it if there were any. I'm pretty sure that flourish would have addressed me directly and not through you, if that were the case. How do you, in fact, know that he would be happy to air any dirty laundry if there were any? That's what flourish was asking. Get it now?

Tizzle,
Thanks for the eloquence and clarity. That is what my question was

 

[flourish]

Don't get me wrong, being a deadbeat dad is deplorable, in my book. But we, as humans, have luckily been given the ability to transform as we move through life and forgiveness is another ability we were given as humans. Forgiveness will likely play a huge role in Jaycee's healing. So why is it so hard for people to forgive a man that made bad choices 20-30 years ago?

Not that that is the best idea, but as I've said 100 times before....PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES. It wouldn't be the first time this scenario has happened. It wouldn't be the first time kids find out later in life that one of their parents had another child out of wedlock that they never knew about. It happens all the time, long lost siblings reunited. But those stories warm the heart. In this case, however, he is a monster because everyone is so angry about the situation that they have to villainize everyone attached to it. Redirecting anger to the wrong source is unhealthy. Phil and Nancy deserve all that angry energy. Not some guy that effed up long ago and now wants to make it right. It's horrible when a parent abandons their child, but it would be worse if that parent goes through life with no regrets of being absent, remaining indifferent to the child they abandoned.

Snipped and bolded/italicized/underlined by me for space and emphasis

Well said, with compassion, something this discussion needed. Thank you for this post.
:clap::clap::clap:

 

[kbl8201]

Snipped and bolded/italicized/underlined by me for space and emphasis

Well said, with compassion, something this discussion needed. Thank you for this post.
:clap::clap::clap:

i commend you guys for thinking the best of him. im as cynical about him as some of you are about jaycee's lawyer. i will say this........
if he backs down on the "may take legal action" and waits for jaycee to heal, i will back down on him. the minute he files anything in court, it's open season on him. pg and ng maybe the villians here but they are hardly the only ones at fault. the fbi, the parole officer, the keystone cops in garridos area........and compliant neighbors like mrs molino all allowed this to happen. i dont think it's unreasonble for me to throw mr slayton into this mix. while he has nothing do with the kidnapping or reseloution, his motives simply have to be questioned due to his lack of involement with kaycee BEFORE any of this happened

 

[Tizzle]

i commend you guys for thinking the best of him. im as cynical about him as some of you are about jaycee's lawyer. i will say this........
if he backs down on the "may take legal action" and waits for jaycee to heal, i will back down on him. the minute he files anything in court, it's open season on him. pg and ng maybe the villians here but they are hardly the only ones at fault. the fbi, the parole officer, the keystone cops in garridos area........and dumbass compliant neighbors like mrs molino all allowed this to happen. i dont think it's unreasonble for me to throw mr slayton into this mix. while he has nothing do with the kidnapping or reseloution, his motives simply have to be questioned due to his lack of involement with kaycee BEFORE any of this happened

The Garridos are SOLELY responsible for this. LE, PO, Molinos, neighbors etc. were negligent and stupid, but not at all responsible for the life that became Jaycee's. Phil n Nancy forced their will upon her all on their own. And you shouldn't throw Mr. Slayton in the mix because all the facts about him aren't out there, yet. We have the facts that the Garridos deserve our anger and disgust. We have the facts that LE PO Molinos neighbors and so on failed her and likely many others. By failing Jaycee they failed all of us. How many other crimes go unnoticed just like this one?

I hope that if and when the Garridos go to prison, they're in general population and not protective custody. :dance:THAT is when justice will be served.
Also, I like the family's lawyer. Very wise choice.

 

[Tizzle]

i commend you guys for thinking the best of him. im as cynical about him as some of you are about jaycee's lawyer. i will say this........
if he backs down on the "may take legal action" and waits for jaycee to heal, i will back down on him. the minute he files anything in court, it's open season on him. pg and ng maybe the villians here but they are hardly the only ones at fault. the fbi, the parole officer, the keystone cops in garridos area........and compliant neighbors like mrs molino all allowed this to happen. i dont think it's unreasonble for me to throw mr slayton into this mix. while he has nothing do with the kidnapping or reseloution, his motives simply have to be questioned due to his lack of involement with kaycee BEFORE any of this happened

If his motives about being absent have to be questioned, then so do Terry's motives for allowing him to be.

 

[kbl8201]

If his motives about being absent have to be questioned, then so do Terry's motives for allowing him to be.

maybe so. but he never asked for visitation rights, went after it in court, paid child support. all of this he could have done on his own without terry asking/wanting him to do it.

 

[Openmind]

If his motives about being absent have to be questioned, then so do Terry's motives for allowing him to be.

He was a married man with children that had a brief affair with a much younger woman. It appears when she told him she was pregnant, he didn't want to take responsibility for the baby and instead decided to question if Jaycee was his child. Terry obviously felt she could raise Jaycee without his support and never expected a single thing from him from the moment Jaycee was born up to this very minute. I don't question her actions one bit. I think she was very brave to accept his response and raise her child alone.

When Jaycee was kidnapped and Slayton was told she was his child, did he contact Terry to offer any kind of support or help? No. He did nothing when she was born. When she was kidnapped, he did nothing, but when she comes back and is the center of all this attention he suddenly feels he needs to hire a lawyer and demand a paternity test. A lawyer could have privately contacted Jaycee and offered his support, but, no, he had to hold a news conference to make his demand. He may not want anything from Jaycee, but I am sure he would sell any story of their reunion for a pretty penny. I would almost prefer his motive is for money rather than think he is so selfish he thinks soothing his bruised ego is more important than allowing Jaycee and the girls time to adjunct to their new lives. If he was this self-centered when they had their "fling," I can understand why Terry didn't want him in their lives.

 

[kbl8201]

He was a married man with children that had a brief affair with a much younger woman. It appears when she told him she was pregnant, he didn't want to take responsibility for the baby and instead decided to question if Jaycee was his child. Terry obviously felt she could raise Jaycee without his support and never expected a single thing from him from the moment Jaycee was born up to this very minute. I don't question her actions one bit. I think she was very brave to accept his response and raise her child alone.

When Jaycee was kidnapped and Slayton was told she was his child, did he contact Terry to offer any kind of support of help? No. He did nothing when she was born. When she was kidnapped, he did nothing, but when she comes back and is the center of all this attention he is suddenly feels he needs to hire a lawyer and demand a paternity test. A lawyer could have privately contacted Jaycee and offered his support, but, no, he had to hold a news conference to make his demand. He may not want anything from Jaycee, but I am sure he would sell any story of their reunion for a pretty penny. I would almost prefer his motive is for money rather than think he is so selfish he thinks soothing his bruised ego is more important than allowing Jaycee and the girls time to adjunct to their new lives. If he was this self-centered when they had their "fling," I can understand why Terry didn't want him in their lives.

great post. but then we've said the same things over and over and people wont listen.

 

[Openmind]

great post. but then we've said the same things over and over and people wont listen.

I know -- it has become a broken record.

 

[LillyRush]

My thoughts on page 2 of this thread were that we don't know that Jaycee and her father would not have reconnected over the years because Garrido took 18 yrs of her life away from her. Further, I said that I think that maybe these circumstances could serve as a second chance for her to get to know her father and that side of her family. This was back when it was unclear to me whether either one of them wanted to reconnect, so I said it should be as long as both of them want to do that. For the most part, I still feel that way and ultimately it will be Jaycee's final decision to make.

Jaycee has just been recently reunited with her mother, the only biological parent she has ever really known. That is the parent who she was and is obviously closest to, a relationship referred to by her stepfather as them being "like twins, inseparable". Since we know all of these things, we can pretty much assess that Jaycee's opinion of her father just might be influenced by her mother. We could also say that she might even become a little offended or put off by someone who at times sounds like he's pointing the finger at her mother. The fact that the Dugard family attorney is already refering to him as "an opportunist" is really not a good sign for him either. I am not saying that is necessarily right or that Terry made every decision perfectly, by any means. But, for the sake of ensuring a reunion with her, these are all things that he and Allred MIGHT want to consider when speaking on record about this matter.

Also, every case in this forum has a separate thread on some secondary or other person who plays a mostly minor role in the entire case. Why is there an "Annie D" thread in the Caylee and Casey Anthony forum? It does not mean that people are misdirecting their anger or don't realize who the main perp is just because they happen to post their opinion about that person. People are encouraged to post separate topics so that ideas and links don't get mixed up all in one general thread.

 

[Charlie09]

ok i lied about not posting again. want to set the record striaght here.
he did not pay a cent in child support. he never sent a birthday card, called her, or made a personal viist. we can make all the excuses for this we want but these are the facts.

In 1991 - most people didn't have computers or emails. Sure there were BB's and such, but the average joe didn't have them, only supergeeks, and supergeek's relatives.... and if the mom had decided to get lost, she could fairly easily. I'm not saying that's what happened - but even now it's fairly easy to get lost when it's a fling that turns into a life time commitment of a kid (and grandkids )

I'm not defending him - as a single mom - I struggle with a non paying custodial dad who has never met his daughter. So normally I'm not inclined to be even nice about deadbeat dad's. Technology certainly makes a difference in tracking people down though. Until I know for certain his motives are not honorable, I have to respect his wishes to know Jaycee. ( I haven't finished the thread yet, so if it has already been proven, my apologies)

 

[Openmind]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]No telling what would have happened in the 18 years Jaycee was gone. My assumption, based on the behaviors of Terry and Ken for the first 11 years of Jaycee's life, is Ken would not have made any contact.[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] When Jaycee was stolen, Terry [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]was married and had a new baby. [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Terry and Ken had both created full and seemingly happy lives.[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]They both had lives that precluded any thought or need to search out a missing parent or child. [/FONT]


[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The most telling missed opportunity to [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]contact Terry was when Jaycee was kidnapped. If Jaycee was his child[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif], I would have thought he would [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]have reached out to the mother [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]of his lost child and expressed[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] his horror[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif], fears, and [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]offered at least emotional[/FONT] support. But it looks to me like[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] he just thought this was Terry[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]'s claim but not medically confirmed[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif], so he did[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] knowing. Jaycee's kidnapp[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]ing was [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]big news and obviously a huge event in this area/state and he did nothing[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]. And the fact he [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]had other children should[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]/would not have prevented him from [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]at least expressing to the mother of [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]his missing child [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]his deep concern.[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] He sure seems fully capable of weeping on TV now with his current family in prominent view. He was perfectly content to stay silent and out of camera view 18 years ago, and turthfully, 18 years ago was when she really needed all the help she could get from everyone that knew her of not.[/FONT]


[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Timing and method are[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] everything. It has been a mere month since Jaycee and girls were found. [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Slayton could have [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]made this contact much more discreetly and he could have waited. He waited 28 years to [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]even own up to the fact she is his child so[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif], why the rush[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] now? [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]This is not about HIM but about Jaycee and the girls. The more he pushes the less likely he will ever have any contact with any of them. Twenty-eight years after the fact is a little late to expect people to jump through hoops because it now fits his schedule to be a father. [/FONT]

 

[Natal]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The most telling missed opportunity to [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]contact Terry was when Jaycee was kidnapped. If Jaycee was his child[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif], I would have thought he would [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]have reached out to the mother [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]of his lost child and expressed[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] his horror[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif], fears, and [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]offered at least emotional[/FONT] support. But it looks to me like[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] he just thought this was Terry[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]'s claim but not medically confirmed[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif], so he did[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] knowing. Jaycee's kidnapp[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]ing was [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]big news and obviously a huge event in this area/state and he did nothing[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]. And the fact he [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]had other children should[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]/would not have prevented him from [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]at least expressing to the mother of [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]his missing child [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]his deep concern.[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] He sure seems fully capable of weeping on TV now with his current family in prominent view. He was perfectly content to stay silent and out of camera view 18 years ago, and turthfully, 18 years ago was when she really needed all the help she could get from everyone that knew her of not.[/FONT]

You have no idea what he did or didn't do at the time, You are just making assumptions.

 

[Openmind]

You have no idea what he did or didn't do at the time, You are just making assumptions.

Absolutely right. I would have thougth the news conference would have been the perfect opportunity to tell how he helped look for Jaycee at the time she was kidnapped.

Gloria Allred refers to Jaycee Dugard’s mother as ‘Susan’, her name is Terry Susan Probyn, but he knew her as Susan. One important piece of information that was revealed during the press conference was that when Jaycee Dugard was first kidnapped, Ken Slayton was identified by Terry Susan Probyn as her biological father. The FBI contacted him, verifying Terry’s claims that Ken was the father. He had made a pledge that if she were ever recovered, he would be the father to her that he had missed the opportunity to experience before.

http://www.examiner.com/x-12837-US-...ria-Allred-Ken-Slayton-press-conference-Video


So did he just make a mental note to do better if she was found? Seems like a good thing to say 18 years later. There was a lot he could have done the very day he knew she was taken to show he truly wanted to do better. He could have contacted Terry and expressed his feelings of regret and offerd to help. He could have driven over to help look for her, printed up and distributed flyers informing the public of her kidnapping, or he could have gone on TV asking for help. Through the years did he keep in touch with the FBI to see if any new leads had developed in her case? I would love to know if he did anything but think in his head how sorry he was he had done nothing to know Jaycee or help in her upbringing.

If he did nothing 18 years ago but think he should have done better, IMHO, he has no right to now say he is desperate to be an active part of her life -- to demand to be a part of her life. If he did nothing, all those years ago, there were strangers that worked harder to find Jaycee than her biological father.

 

[stilettos]

If his motives about being absent have to be questioned, then so do Terry's motives for allowing him to be.

Actually in my mind...the only thing to be questioned is: Does Jaycee want to see him? If not...shove off dude. She should never be forced to have a relationship with anyone she does not choose to....her power has already been taken away by a monster...her bioFather is only repeating that emotionally by trying to force her to do something against her will.

 

[Natal]

You are just POed that he didnt fall on the sword the way you think he should have.