Kyron Horman's stepmother is a profile in contradictions....

[gitana1]

Still all talking about the "my money" comment? Looks simply like Kaine was repeating a question: "Did you feel TH was controlling with your money?" "Controlling with my money? Yeah, because she was spending all of it. She was going out and spending it like water and not checking with me where we should be spending our money."
That's almost a direct quote. What Kaine said was edited otherwise it would make no sense, IMO.

 

[BeanE]

Not a disciplinary problem. That is an educational one.
There is a test for preschoolers and younger, school-aged kids that assessed their development. I think it was called DIAL or something.
A lot of the test had to do with could a child follow a set of instructions given by someone. There were parameters for normal development shown by the test. A child who could not follow certain instructions indicated a possible development issue or immaturity. You work on that with the child, helping them with listening skills. You don't punish them with grounding for the evening.

Huh? What? I haven't said a thing about any disciplinary problem anywhere in this thread. In fact I don't think anywhere in this entire forum ever. :waitasec:

Here's my post you quoted:

Thank you, merc and FTK! I'm getting closer. It's a video from June 25, so I've got the date now. I'll post the video as soon as I have find which one. There were several that day.

Kyron is well-versed in "stranger danger," his parents said, but because he has some trouble following directions in school, they have worked with him on listening to teachers and parents in a school setting.


http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/06/parents_of_kyron_horman_to_app.html

 

[Etilema]

Eww. Now that I think of it, it kind of creeps me out that she supposedly pushed to have Ecker take on legal obligations to Jxxx, and then was complaining about Jxxx's inheritance.

JMO

 

[SuziQ]

How wonderful that Terri was the one who noticed Kyron didn't see well, got him glasses, and taught him sign language so he could communicate with her. She obviously loved Kyron. Was she honestly the only one who notice he couldn't see well?

~~snip~~
Terri was the first to recognize that Kyron needed glasses, James said, and taught him sign language by the time he was 6 months so she could communicate with him. ~snip~

Someone help me here. How does sign language help someone who can't see?

I got little sleep last night. Do I need more coffee to understand this?

 

[Etilema]

Quote:
Originally Posted by eyes4crime
How wonderful that Terri was the one who noticed Kyron didn't see well, got him glasses, and taught him sign language so he could communicate with her. She obviously loved Kyron. Was she honestly the only one who notice he couldn't see well?

~~snip~~
Terri was the first to recognize that Kyron needed glasses, James said, and taught him sign language by the time he was 6 months so she could communicate with him. ~snip~
---

Someone help me here. How does sign language help someone who can't see?

I got little sleep last night. Do I need more coffee to understand this?

I don't think the comments are related. It's kind of a trend to teach pre-verbal children sign language so they can communicate their needs. Apparently these statements are describing the involvement and care she showed for Kyron.

JMO

 

[bookjunkie2]

I have to leave pretty quickly but I just wanted to comment on the Kaine bashing regarding "his money." Terri was getting at least $1000 a month ($500 in child support, unknown amount in unemployment) on her own. Kaine appears to have given her a lot of gifts (sorry, buy my DH sure hasn't bought ME a red sportscar!). He has a good take home salary. Terry was the one who found the house and Kaine bought it. It sounds to me like Terri pretty well wasn't being controlled or bullied. I work part time and I'm a SAHM part time. I work hard at the SAHM part, my husband works hard at the working full time part. I'm responsible for making sure that our financial needs are met. I would fully expect my dh to hit the proverbial roof if I was outspending our budget because you better believe that I would hit the roof if he did the same. I don't think it's unreasonable to be held accountable for overspending.
Remember, Kaine is viewing the last 8 years of his life through a new lens. He's probably discovering all kinds of things that we will never hear about, all kinds of lies and subterfuge and the way she described him and their life together. The guy's going to be slightly bitter right now. He thinks his wife disappeared his son. Cut the guy some slack, why don't you?
Terri sounds like someone who was quick to move one once reality didn't meet the expectations of her fantasy life. Quick and without a hint of remorse. Everyone else plays a supporting role in her self-starring movie.
MOO MOO MOO

 

[For The Kids]

Eww. Now that I think of it, it kind of creeps me out that she supposedly pushed to have Ecker take on legal obligations to Jxxx, and then was complaining about Jxxx's inheritance.

JMO

Bearing in mind she talked about J's inheritance maybe Mr Ecker should be glad hes still alive..

 

[For The Kids]

Someone help me here. How does sign language help someone who can't see?

I got little sleep last night. Do I need more coffee to understand this?

Lol thats one thing I have not been unable to understand all day. He apparently cant see without glasses and yet he could see and understand sign language at 6 months old somehow?

 

[ThoughtFox]

Lol thats one thing I have not been unable to understand all day. He apparently cant see without glasses and yet he could see and understand sign language at 6 months old somehow?

:waitasec: Yes. Not. Understanding. This. Either.

It's interesting Terri doesn't seem to be to blame for any of Kyron's school or discipline problems even though clearly Terri was in charge of discipline at home (banishing him to his room, etc) and is said to have raised him from an early age?

I think Kyron may have had problems in school because of conflicts with his primary caregiver at home. :twocents: To me that is usually how it works.

 

[ThoughtFox]

I have to leave pretty quickly but I just wanted to comment on the Kaine bashing regarding "his money." Terri was getting at least $1000 a month ($500 in child support, unknown amount in unemployment) on her own. Kaine appears to have given her a lot of gifts (sorry, buy my DH sure hasn't bought ME a red sportscar!). He has a good take home salary. Terry was the one who found the house and Kaine bought it. It sounds to me like Terri pretty well wasn't being controlled or bullied. I work part time and I'm a SAHM part time. I work hard at the SAHM part, my husband works hard at the working full time part. I'm responsible for making sure that our financial needs are met. I would fully expect my dh to hit the proverbial roof if I was outspending our budget because you better believe that I would hit the roof if he did the same. I don't think it's unreasonable to be held accountable for overspending.
Remember, Kaine is viewing the last 8 years of his life through a new lens. He's probably discovering all kinds of things that we will never hear about, all kinds of lies and subterfuge and the way she described him and their life together. The guy's going to be slightly bitter right now. He thinks his wife disappeared his son. Cut the guy some slack, why don't you?
Terri sounds like someone who was quick to move one once reality didn't meet the expectations of her fantasy life. Quick and without a hint of remorse. Everyone else plays a supporting role in her self-starring movie.
MOO MOO MOO

I couldn't agree more! He is talking about overspending - that's obvious to me. And he feels resentful now, but that doesn't mean he was always resentful before this - he sure paid for alot of cell phones apparently. :angel:

 

[SuziQ]

IMO, regarding the below statement, I took it as Kyron's mom was hysterical.

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/08/terri_horman.html

(snip)
"I've never seen Kaine cry until Kyron went missing," James said, adding that his mother was hysterical.

 

[human]

The prevailing motive I've heard for the "Terri did it" scenarios is an eye-for-an-eye revenge against Kaine for sending J away from her. Unless Kaine is lying here about Terri being the one to send J away - and why would he lie about something easily verifiable - that motive is off the table. What else is there?

MONEY!!! Maybe she did in fact plan on suing the school as she already had one nice lawsuit under her belt.

Or maybe distraught Kaine would be found dead one day.

 

[gitana1]

The prevailing motive I've heard for the "Terri did it" scenarios is an eye-for-an-eye revenge against Kaine for sending J away from her. Unless Kaine is lying here about Terri being the one to send J away - and why would he lie about something easily verifiable - that motive is off the table. What else is there?

1. A change in psychology, depression, psychosis, etc.
2. A belief that Kyron is taking away from perfect baby K.
3. A desire to hurt Kaine for whatever reason.
4. A secret resentment towards Kyron for whatever reason that festered in conjunction with an overall dissatisfaction with her life.
5. All of the above.
6. None of the above.

I don't think it matters. I had no motive in mind when I came off the fence. Criminals don't use the same logic the rest of us do. I think that's why motive is not an element of murder to be proven by the state, for example.

 

[BeanE]

Someone help me here. How does sign language help someone who can't see?

Ask Helen Keller.

 

[gitana1]

1. Wanting to hurt Kaine (could have been a plan b since the likely mfh didn't pan out)
2. Her narcissistic/sociopathic tendencies
3. Jealousy (Kyron getting too much attention?)
4. Wanting to hurt Desiree
5. Tired of being a mother (she did just recently send J away and didn't fight for baby K)

Deja vu! I should have read ahead before posting!

 

[SuziQ]

While Terri's ex in-laws come off as harsh in their criticism, I think it might have been a matter of them pegging her personality correctly from the get go. It appears to me they were probably correct in their assessment.

 

[meowmo]

:waitasec: Yes. Not. Understanding. This. Either.

It's interesting Terri doesn't seem to be to blame for any of Kyron's school or discipline problems even though clearly Terri was in charge of discipline at home (banishing him to his room, etc) and is said to have raised him from an early age?

I think Kyron may have had problems in school because of conflicts with his primary caregiver at home. :twocents: To me that is usually how it works.

The whole baby signs thing is a relatively new trend. You teach your infant/toddler basic hand signs so you can communicate with them (things like hungry/wet/etc) when they are pre-verbal.

As far as the vision thing goes, I mean it's not like he's blind. He can probably see from a certain distance and most likely wasn't born with vision as bad as it is now. My understanding is that eyesight progressively worsens with age. As a baby, he probably could have seen just fine up close, maybe a little blurry, but enough to recognize family and make out hand signs and respond.

 

[eyes4crime]

Hi! eyes, am sorry to hear about your first husbands untimely, so unexpected death and with little ones no less..
He had to have been so very very young, as y'all were high school sweethearts(so I took that to mean you both were close in age rather than him being alot older)..

My dad too died, an untimely and very unexpected death at the very young age of 36..

It's so very rare that I hear of others with anything similar in nature of having a close family member die at such a young age of a "natural" death(as in not a car accident, suicide, or other accident type death).. So, was just curious to know how old he was and did they find a "cause" for the heart attack? I'm not trying to be "nosey" just as I said so rare to come in contact with anyone with any type similar situation..

Am so very happy for you and your children that you were blessed to find love again and a positive male role model for your little ones.. And shows your true strength and determination to continue on with your education and to strive for a degree that I know is no easy fete(I know you are at the very least a pharmacist if I'm not mistaken and seems as tho I remember hearing that it was a specialized degree of some sort).. Either way it seems as though the sad and difficult obstacles that you faced early in adulthood really made you a stronger, more determined woman.. Kudos to you and I have much respect for you making it thru such difficult times and coming out on the other side a true role model for you children..

Sorry for going O/T and sorry if it seems as though I'm "prying" was just curious and understand if you don't feel comfortable answering any of my questions..

O/T Thanks for your concern, and I'm also sorry you went through the loss of your dad while he was so young. My husband died of a congenital heart problem that he/we weren't aware of until it was discovered at autopsy.

Both of our careers took off, so we agreed that I would put my career on hold until the children were all in school. My husband was so appreciative, he thanked me all the time for stalling my career, he even opened a special savings just for my future goal and as he was dying, made me promise I would fulfill what we discussed. It was a long time ago - I remarried and have a wonderful life.

What I don't understand is how anybody could possibly denigrate a SAHM? I can't tell you how much my husband appreciated that I stayed at home to take care of our children. I had every intention of returning to work once they were in school - and I had every intention of returning to school, just as we had planned, just not as a single mom.

And hey, being single and learning how to date again was really the hard part. I was definitely lacking skills, so to speak. My husband and I still laugh about how clumsy, stupid, and vulnerable I was. Lots of learned lessons.

A large part of my career has been devoted to helping moms of all kinds. I have the utmost respect for most circumstances.
Sorry for being OT

 

[SuziQ]

Ask Helen Keller.

Helen Keller was deaf and blind. She learned Braille and sign language.

 

[human]

Not a disciplinary problem. That is an educational one.
There is a test for preschoolers and younger, school-aged kids that assessed their development. I think it was called DIAL or something.
A lot of the test had to do with could a child follow a set of instructions given by someone. There were parameters for normal development shown by the test. A child who could not follow certain instructions indicated a possible development issue or immaturity. You work on that with the child, helping them with listening skills. You don't punish them with grounding for the evening.

Yup.

I ask all adults here. Would you change your behavior if your hubby put you in your room for "misbehavior"?

Children are different because ???? they aren't humans, they don't have feelings? Why do people think punishment is the way to solve problems?

If you start out with children when they are young, punishment does not have to be used. Consequences-yes. Consequences that make sense. That is not punishment. Leave your toy on the floor-well, then you lose it.

Put in your room for not listening in school? NO! A million times "no".

And if he can't listen and follow directions, why? Because he's a demon seed and the adults have to punish it out of him???