Kyron Horman's stepmother is a profile in contradictions....

[gwenabob]

Thanks so much, PDX. I'm on the other side of the country. I thought the reporter was referring to an online article and searched all over for it last night. She didn't say in her comment on the online article that there was an additional article in the print edition.

Thanks for letting me know. :blowkiss:

It wasn't really an additional article, it was the same article with additional photos and captions.

 

[wondering1]

BBM. That really has nothing to do with law. I thought we were discussing it from a legal standpoint. Not that I'm a lawyer or anything lol.

Anyway. If someone alleges something negative about Terri, it must be true, but if Terri alleges something about someone else, it can't be true. hmmm.

Actually, based on what I know or think I know about her, that pretty much sums it up. :innocent:

 

[pdx]

It wasn't really an additional article, it was the same article with additional photos and captions.

thanks.. I was just coming back to clear that up myself.

Thanks so much, PDX. I'm on the other side of the country. I thought the reporter was referring to an online article and searched all over for it last night. She didn't say in her comment on the online article that there was an additional article in the print edition.

Thanks for letting me know. :blowkiss:

It's not a separate article, but it IS something the O doesn't do often... the additional text is a caption under a photo, but a very lengthy one, with text that is not included in the body of the story.
I suppose the O, like the rest of us, is trying to reconcile how to use the web for reporting/reposting stories. I've actually almost had my head blow up more than once in trying to use oregonlive's search feature to find the online version of a story I've read in print (so I can repost it or send the link to someone). I've given up on their search, tags and organization (it's all senseless!) and use google + site: searching to find stuff from the print edition.

They should do what I do with my newsletter and just post a pdf of the print and make my life easier!

 

[pdx]

There was also an allegation that Tarver had AIDS, an incurable disease. And yet here he is, healthy as can be taking care of his son. People throw around all kinds of nasty allegations in a divorce.

I have a question about that, please. If anyone knows..

What's the deal with making a material misrepresentation (lying) to the court in a situation like that?
I mean, people could just make up the nastiest stuff ever to win custody and... ???

The article only touches on it like so:
By 1995, Horman's marriage to Tarver soured, with each accusing the other of infidelity. They divorced in November, and she gained custody of James, with Tarver agreeing to later pay child support.


Earlier, (in the Blended Family article?) we read only that Terri accused RT of cheating and that is why she initiated divorce (which doesn't make the above untrue).

So my question is, are there no consequences for completely making up something about your spouse and putting that in your court filing?

 

[stmarysmead]

"Anyway. If someone alleges something negative about Terri, it must be true, but if Terri alleges something about someone else, it can't be true. hmmm."


Well, one problem is who seems to be doing the "alleging."

What tipped me off the fence was the police informing Kaine of the Murder-for-Hire plot. Try as I might , I cannot imagine the police would not understand the consequences of that...that they were about to relay something that would break up a marriage and remove an innocent toddler from her Mother. I cannot believe this information would be relayed in a careless, reckless fashion if it were simply a "he said-she said." In a sense, LE put their own credibility right up there with the Landscaper's. Can whatever "he said" be just weak and unsubstantiated drivel? So, IMO, the allegations that the muder-for-hire plot are "credible" carry the weight of the LE.

Secondly, how much of the other negative stuff is just "allegations?"

The allegations of the "sexting" come from the other participant. I believe he has factual "proof."

The allegation of the failed polygraphs are from the grieving parents supposedly through Terri herself. They could conceivably be in a conspiracy to lie but that would only obstruct the search for their child...so would they? Maybe.

Is the allegation of the bat-phones not proven?

Is it an allegation that Terri married a Meth user and then left him for another man?

Is it an allegation that this second man adopted her child and his family paid for her education and then she left?

Is it an allegation that she was involved with Kaine while his wife was pregnant?

Is it an allegation that to date she has not fought for Baby K?

We may believe others find her sweet, organized and nice. But , in my opinion, those statements do not balance the scale in Terri's favor weighed against just the "allegations" that are credible.

 

[kathryann]

Says that it was Terri who decided to send Jxxxx away while Kaine was on a business trip, because she and Jxxxx had gotten into a fight and she couldn't handle him anymore.

Since I just started reading this thread, this struck me ... maybe Terri sent Kyron away because she couldn't handle him anymore. If she's capable of sending her own son away, why not Kyron? I think that maybe she is a control freak and maybe when people disagreed with her she discarded them, something like the profile of a sociopath. They discard people that are no longer useful to them. JMOO

 

[BeanE]

BBM
Sometimes it leaves that child in the mess the bio parent created.

Count me as one of those that thinks Terri was hopping from house to house to find her sugar baby soul mate. When the going got tough, I think she got going and looking for her next victim. I feel this is exactly where she was hoping it would go with MC. She needed a place to stay and play. She was hoping he'd bite. JMO

How about the mess the adoptive parent creates for the child by not seeing them, or if they didn't support them?

 

[stmarysmead]

How about the mess any parent creates for a child by being a serial cheater?

 

[For The Kids]

It was his choice not to be involved in HIS son's life. How she is supported is of no consequence. The money is for support of the child.

How coincidental that neither of the men wanted to see J..apparently...

Out of curiosity....he had asked for his maintenance to be cut as he was paying so much..IF Terri had refused to let him see J or make excuses or anything ...if he was short of money could he have gotten lawyers at a reduced rate or anything?

 

[BeanE]

Actually, I agree with you. Where we differ is on Terri's responsibility to do everything in her power to involve the adopted father in the child's life...beyond cashing the check. I have many friends with little love for the "Ex" who still have the child call the Dad regularly...who mail drawings and classwork...who show the child how to Email. They facilitate a closeness that is essential to the child's security...to his feeling of still being loved.

Terri chose this man to be her child's Father. Did she then cheat and leave him? And then, take his financial support without facilitating a loving relationship between the adopted child and Dad?

That's where I'm coming from. Terri bears responsibility too. Is she now plotting murder for hire or, at the least, involving herself with a FOURTH man through this sexting...and creating more havoc in her children's lives? Does SHE ever consider THEM as she indulges herself with these "romances?"

What leads you to believe that I don't think Terri should have done everything in her power to foster a relationship between her child and his father? I've said nothing that would even insinuate that. Please. Don't put words in my mouth. If you want to know what I think, please, just ask. I'm most often happy to share it.

 

[stmarysmead]

What leads you to believe that I don't think Terri should have done everything in her power to foster a relationship between her child and his father? I've said nothing that would even insinuate that. Please. Don't put words in my mouth. If you want to know what I think, please, just ask. I'm most often happy to share it.

You misunderstand me. Please do not assume because I use a statement of yours as my "inspiration"...that every sentence in that opinion is directed at you.

I'm expounding on my own opinion...not attempting to expound on yours.

There is nowhere in my post where I call you out by name or assign anything MORE than what you say in YOUR post TO YOU. I have put no words in your specific mouth. I'm responding to what you have said and NOT SAID repeatedly.

I consider you an excellent and articulate poster. Therefore when you repeatedly do not address Terri's responsibility to the adopted Father, I note that as well.

But I am now pleased to hear you are in agreement with me. May I conclude that you ALSO concur that Terri should have done more?

I'm editing this to add..that when you repeatedly ignore Terri's responsibility in post after post...while articulating the responsibility of the adopted father...are you assuming one should know that you see equal sides?

In that case...I will phrase my replies as "questions" in the future.

But, happily, we have found mutual agreement that Terri had a responsibility to facilitate the relationship as she cashed the checks...isn't that so?

 

[For The Kids]

It's morally repugnant to me to deny that an adopted child is the true and real child of their adoptive parent, or to imply that a child should be left unsupported financially by a parent.

Where does that leave the child?

Hmm...i wonder if Terri has paid maintenance for J to Tarver for the past 6 months? After all she is the boys mother and if the man who adopted him pays..then surely SHE should also?

 

[grandmaj]

It is never good in a discussion to start personalizing posts..... I'm going to ask you to please debate the posts and not personalize.

This post lands at random. I've seen it off and on throughout this thread and it can and generally will lead to problems...

 

[gwenabob]

Hmm...i wonder if Terri has paid maintenance for J to Tarver for the past 6 months? After all she is the boys mother and if the man who adopted him pays..then surely SHE should also?

Sounds fair to me. Maybe now that she has no income she can relinquish her rights and let Tarver and his wife adopt J. :dance:

 

[Ada]

How wonderful that Terri was the one who noticed Kyron didn't see well, got him glasses, and taught him sign language so he could communicate with her. She obviously loved Kyron. Was she honestly the only one who notice he couldn't see well?

~~snip~~
Terri was the first to recognize that Kyron needed glasses, James said, and taught him sign language by the time he was 6 months so she could communicate with him. ~snip~

I haven't finished the thread, but, I have to ask, why do you teach sign language to help someone communicate , who has trouble seeing ??

Sign language is usually for people with trouble hearing or speaking. :crazy:

 

[BeanE]

You misunderstand me. Please do not assume because I use a statement of yours as my "inspiration"...that every sentence in that opinion is directed at you.

I'm expounding on my own opinion...not attempting to expound on yours.

There is nowhere in my post where I call you out by name or assign anything MORE than what you say in YOUR post TO YOU. I have put no words in your specific mouth.

And, you may be assured, I never will.

But I am now pleased to hear you are in agreement with me. May I conclude that you ALSO concur that Terri should have done more?

This is where you put words in my mouth, in my post that you quoted:

Where we differ is on Terri's responsibility to do everything in her power to involve the adopted father in the child's life...

But I am now pleased to hear you are in agreement with me. May I conclude that you ALSO concur that Terri should have done more?

I have no knowledge of what Terri did, or did not, do to foster a relationship between her son and his father. *If* she didn't, she most certainly should have.

Marysmead, I just don't like to add hay to my haystack unless and until I know it belongs there. That just obscures the needle I want to find. The needle being, what happened to Kyron.

Certainly, there is one and only one person who is more likely than anyone else to have done to him whatever was done. And that is, of course, Terri.

Although I feel that way, I don't feel I have to pile it on. In fact, as I said, I'm afraid if I do pile it on, I won't be able to clearly 'see', if she did this, exactly why she did it. And if she did it, I want to be crystal clear on why, because I want to be able to go right down the list, and name and shame, and hold her accountable for each and every bit of it. It's important to me.

The way I think about these things may be different, but different isn't bad. Your heart, and my heart, are definitely in the same place.

Peace.

I'm taking a break.

I love you all, and I appreciate how much every one of you cares so much about Kyron. :blowkiss:

 

[For The Kids]

Sounds fair to me. Maybe now that she has no income she can relinquish her rights and let Tarver and his wife adopt J. :dance:

I have a feeling it could be a good thing for him to be honest. IMO what he needs more than anything is stability...and thats something he doesnt seem to have had in his life

 

[stmarysmead]

Well said, BeanE.

Thank you.

 

[gwenabob]

I haven't finished the thread, but, I have to ask, why do you teach sign language to help someone communicate , who has trouble seeing ??

Sign language is usually for people with trouble hearing or speaking. :crazy:

I think they are talking about the baby sign language that has become so popular. Signs for hungry, tired, mommy, daddy, etc. It helps pre-verbal babies communicate.

 

[epiphany]

I haven't finished the thread, but, I have to ask, why do you teach sign language to help someone communicate , who has trouble seeing ??

Sign language is usually for people with trouble hearing or speaking. :crazy:

http://www.babies-and-sign-language.com/baby-sign-benefits.html

I don't know when Terri noticed Kyron needed glasses, but re sign language and babies in general, facilitates early communication.