MD - Cockeysville teen charged in murders of parents, two brothers *Guilty*

[southcitymom]

Can you explain your feelings of sympathy for him? I'm just curious.
I can somewhat feel sympathy to a 15 year old in trouble, but then he's a murdering 15 year old and I'm having a hard time feeling sympathetic to him.. It just sounds like putting the blame on the victims to say he could not do enough to please them, which we don't even know yet. What if it turns out that he was just a demanding, spoiled, entitled, ungrateful brat and wanted them out of his way so he could have their money and have no authority over him? Would you still feel tremendous sympathy for him? Just curious. I think what one believes may have been the reason may account for why there could be some sympathy.

NoKoolAid,

I feel sympathy for grown-a$$ men who murder for money and drugs and I feel sympathy for a 15-year-old who kills his entire family in the dead of night. Every person touched by murder is touched by darkness - and I am sorrowful for all humans who walk in darkness. I can't really explain it any better than that - it's just my makeup.

I feel sadness for any young person who is going to spend his life behind bars and be raised in the brutal atmosphere of prison as we know it. I have sympathy for the rotten choices people make and the terrible places these rotten choices lead them.

Please know that I also feel sympathy for his mother and father and his two precious brothers as well as for the entire reach of the community that cared for this family and is stunned by this child's unbelievable actions. When something like this happens, I don't feel like I have to pick a side - my heart aches for everyone touched by violence.

 

[southcitymom]

But that WAS MY POINT! Your parent's generation said the same thing about YOUR generation that you are saying about the CURRENT generation. In other words, nothing much has changed.
:crazy:

This is so true!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[deanws]

That's ok. We are both entitled to our opinion. I just know I watch children today be totally disrespectful to their parents, teachers, anyone in authority and get by with it. And I don't recall that when I was a teenager. But, it's ok if we don't agree. It's interesting to discuss these things with others, whether they agree or not. Everyone brings their own thoughts and perspectives to the table and I can respect that and don't expect everyone to agree with me.

Sure...it would be a boring world if we all did agree. :blowkiss:

 

[concernedperson]

NoKoolAid,

I feel sympathy for grown-a$$ men who murder for money and drugs and I feel sympathy for a 15-year-old who kills his entire family in the dead of night. Every person touched by murder is touched by darkness - and I am sorrowful for all humans who walk in darkness. I can't really explain it any better than that - it's just my makeup.

I feel sadness for any young person who is going to spend his life behind bars and be raised in the brutal atmosphere of prison as we know it. I have sympathy for the rotten choices people make and the terrible places these rotten choices lead them to.

Please know that I also feel sympathy for his mother and father and his two precious brothers as well as for the entire reach of the community that cared for this family and is stunned by this child's unbelievable actions. When something like this happens, I don't feel like I have to pick a side - my heart aches for everyone touched by violence.

Really good post. Sadness is the norm when looking at all the repercussions. When looking at the actions we are appalled.Nothing is easy in this world. But, criminals still have to pay for their actions.

 

[southcitymom]

Really good post. Sadness is the norm when looking at all the repercussions. When looking at the actions we are appalled.Nothing is easy in this world. But, criminals still have to pay for their actions.

I feel like they always do and always will. That said, I view prison less as a punishing place but more as a necessary place so that most of us in a free society feel safe.

I mean, I'm sure it feels like a punishment to many who are there, but I am also sure that just as many are happy to have a place to sleep, meals to eat and medical care. We all adapt to our cages, I guess.

 

[NoKoolaidKid]

NoKoolAid,

I feel sympathy for grown-a$$ men who murder for money and drugs and I feel sympathy for a 15-year-old who kills his entire family in the dead of night. Every person touched by murder is touched by darkness - and I am sorrowful for all humans who walk in darkness. I can't really explain it any better than that - it's just my makeup.

I feel sadness for any young person who is going to spend his life behind bars and be raised in the brutal atmosphere of prison as we know it. I have sympathy for the rotten choices people make and the terrible places these rotten choices lead them.

Please know that I also feel sympathy for his mother and father and his two precious brothers as well as for the entire reach of the community that cared for this family and is stunned by this child's unbelievable actions. When something like this happens, I don't feel like I have to pick a side - my heart aches for everyone touched by violence.

I understand what you're saying. I feel sadness to when I see people mess up their own lives this badly. I'm not totally cold-hearted. At fifteen, a life in prison is a very, very long time. I just don't get why they think they'll get by with it and be able to continue on in a happy life. I can't say that I feel sympathy for him, but I do feel sadness for him. My sympathy goes to the family he killed and the ones who loved them. But I do feel a sadness for him and the mess he has gotten himself into.

 

[MeoW333]

Then wait until you're 18 and go your own way....on your own money! :furious:

It is so much easier said than done for kids that are Nick's age. There is pressure on them, and until we find out what more of those pressures were, it's a mystery to us. Every family and person is different.
Surely if Nick was a 'Goth' or subscribed to a different subculture, people may have a different take on things. Then again they may not. You will always have those that judge books by the cover, then those who do not.

 

[Jeana (DP)]

Sometimes I wonder if he looked different if people would feel different.
If he didn't look like this "clean cut kid"....if he wasn't an "athlete"....if he wasn't a "scout", I wonder if people would view him differently.

If he was goth, all dressed in black with the black make-up and black fingernails, weird hair, etc. would people see him differently? Would they be talking about the pressues he had or his dad maybe controlling him?
I really do wonder....

You're absolutely right!! Good post!

 

[Jeana (DP)]

That's ok. We are both entitled to our opinion. I just know I watch children today be totally disrespectful to their parents, teachers, anyone in authority and get by with it. And I don't recall that when I was a teenager. But, it's ok if we don't agree. It's interesting to discuss these things with others, whether they agree or not. Everyone brings their own thoughts and perspectives to the table and I can respect that and don't expect everyone to agree with me.

I agree with you. We never would do that sort of thing to our parents. However, I can tell you that my kids wouldn't ever do that either. I'm very, very strict with them. They address all adults by Mrs. or Mr. and they say yes ma'am and no ma'am. Not too long ago I remember breaking up a fight between two little kids and the kid getting the worst of it told me to mind my business!!! LOL I said okay fine, get your butt beat!

 

[Jeana (DP)]

I understand what you're saying. I feel sadness to when I see people mess up their own lives this badly. I'm not totally cold-hearted. At fifteen, a life in prison is a very, very long time. I just don't get why they think they'll get by with it and be able to continue on in a happy life. I can't say that I feel sympathy for him, but I do feel sadness for him. My sympathy goes to the family he killed and the ones who loved them. But I do feel a sadness for him and the mess he has gotten himself into.

I couldn't have said it better!! good post!

 

[Bobbisangel]

I found this information in the article interesting:

Quote from Paul A. Mones, a defense attorney for children accused of killing their parents, who wrote a book about his work called 'When a Child Kills.'

Mones said slayings are typically motivated by one of two factors: 'extreme family dysfunction in terms of physical and emotional abuse, or severe mental health issues that pervade the family, whether it's the perpetrator or the parents or themselves.

I read that book a long time ago and it is really worth reading. Remember the cheer leader who shot her dad? Everyone thought the family was so perfect and they were from the outside. Dad was another piller of the community. Mom had a job that took her away from home a lot and when she was gone the dad expected the daughter to take her place in the bedroom. The girl had never told anyone but she decided that he was not going to sexually abuse her ever again and she was waiting in her bedroom with a shotgun when he came up the stairs to have sex with her. Horrible.

This family looks to be another perfect family and maybe they were. No one will ever know because they are all dead. I just don't see why he murdered his brothers. His whole family as far as that goes but the brothers wouldn't have been sexually abusing him or physically abusing him...why them?

It will be interesting to see how this whole case unfolds and what this kid has to say about his motive. You would think that if he had mental problams it would have shown up before the murders. He was involved in so many activities and so he was around people all of the time. I agree that it is sad that this kid didn't think of the consequences before he murdered his whole family. He has to live with that for the rest of his life and unless he is a sociopath it will eventially get to him. I also wonder why the whole community is backing him...what about the ones who died...those two little boys?

 

[feddup]

I agree with you. We never would do that sort of thing to our parents. However, I can tell you that my kids wouldn't ever do that either. I'm very, very strict with them. They address all adults by Mrs. or Mr. and they say yes ma'am and no ma'am. Not too long ago I remember breaking up a fight between two little kids and the kid getting the worst of it told me to mind my business!!! LOL I said okay fine, get your butt beat!

It starts young, just watch the show SuperNanny, wow you see parents put up with all kinds of things. I wouldve never DARED kick my Mom or Dad. parents today are WIMPS.
So big deal, he had an argument with his Dad
I feel sorry for the parents and especially the 2 younger bros.
The Pastor of their church said the kid always seemed normal. Well, just by going and spending the night at a friends after shows he thought he had this all planned out....
I stopped once because I saw a teenage boy beating up on his girlfriend and asked her if she needed help, the little snot (boy) told me to mind my own business, I told HIM if that was my daughter, Id be out of the car and he'd be on the ground lol

 

[Jeana (DP)]

It starts young, just watch the show SuperNanny, wow you see parents put up with all kinds of things. I wouldve never DARED kick my Mom or Dad. parents today are WIMPS.
So big deal, he had an argument with his Dad
I feel sorry for the parents and especially the 2 younger bros.
The Pastor of their church said the kid always seemed normal. Well, just by going and spending the night at a friends after shows he thought he had this all planned out....
I stopped once because I saw a teenage boy beating up on his girlfriend and asked her if she needed help, the little snot (boy) told me to mind my own business, I told HIM if that was my daughter, Id be out of the car and he'd be on the ground lol

I tried to watch that once with my kids and they were even more shocked than I!!! I'm not sure where all these people live because I rarely ever see any kids being horrible around here. Most parents are pretty on the ball as far as I can see. I've lived here for 17 years and there have been no murders, no murder for hire plots against husbands or wives, etc.

 

[feddup]

I read that book a long time ago and it is really worth reading. Remember the cheer leader who shot her dad? Everyone thought the family was so perfect and they were from the outside. Dad was another piller of the community. Mom had a job that took her away from home a lot and when she was gone the dad expected the daughter to take her place in the bedroom. The girl had never told anyone but she decided that he was not going to sexually abuse her ever again and she was waiting in her bedroom with a shotgun when he came up the stairs to have sex with her. Horrible.

This family looks to be another perfect family and maybe they were. No one will ever know because they are all dead. I just don't see why he murdered his brothers. His whole family as far as that goes but the brothers wouldn't have been sexually abusing him or physically abusing him...why them?

It will be interesting to see how this whole case unfolds and what this kid has to say about his motive. You would think that if he had mental problams it would have shown up before the murders. He was involved in so many activities and so he was around people all of the time. I agree that it is sad that this kid didn't think of the consequences before he murdered his whole family. He has to live with that for the rest of his life and unless he is a sociopath it will eventially get to him. I also wonder why the whole community is backing him...what about the ones who died...those two little boys?

At 15, a kid is old enough to call DFS and say they want out. How many kids do you know who have threatened to call when their parents spank them?

 

[Jeana (DP)]

At 15, a kid is old enough to call DFS and say they want out. How many kids do you know who have threatened to call when their parents spank them?

I never spanked any of my kids!! Its unnecessary. IMO

 

[NoKoolaidKid]

I agree with you. We never would do that sort of thing to our parents. However, I can tell you that my kids wouldn't ever do that either. I'm very, very strict with them. They address all adults by Mrs. or Mr. and they say yes ma'am and no ma'am. Not too long ago I remember breaking up a fight between two little kids and the kid getting the worst of it told me to mind my business!!! LOL I said okay fine, get your butt beat!

The sad thing is that may be all his father was doing....teaching him to stick with committments. But now that snippets are out about his father making him go to a scouting camp and punishing him by not letting him drive his new car for a week after getting his license, there are already rumblings that his father put too much pressure on him or controlled him. If it came out that his father made the children be polite and call people Mrs. or Mr and "ma'am", I can just imagine that would feed that theory of his father being controlling even more.

IMO, his father must not have been too controlling or too bad...
* He evidently was allowed to hang out at his friends house for overnight stays.
* He was actually giving him a car for his birthday!
* He gave him many opportunities in life that other kids would have loved to have had....vacations, camps, sports, a nice home with his own bedroom I'm sure. I'm sure he had given him a lot more material things we don't know about. Wii, cell phone???
I'm not buying that his dad was too controlling. This happened because of his own twisted mind. If this happened to any of us, snippets could be lifted from our own lives to say we were too controlling. I'm just not ready to peg his father as controlling because he made him go to a scouting camp. Maybe the kid said he wanted to go and he signed up and dad paid the money for it and then the kid changed his mind because he wanted to do something else instead and his father wouldn't let him back out. And dad made him go. I would have done the same thing. I'm not ready to say the kid snapped because his father put too much pressure on him. It's too close to blaming the father for this.

 

[NoKoolaidKid]

It starts young, just watch the show SuperNanny, wow you see parents put up with all kinds of things. I wouldve never DARED kick my Mom or Dad. parents today are WIMPS.
So big deal, he had an argument with his Dad
I feel sorry for the parents and especially the 2 younger bros.
The Pastor of their church said the kid always seemed normal. Well, just by going and spending the night at a friends after shows he thought he had this all planned out....
I stopped once because I saw a teenage boy beating up on his girlfriend and asked her if she needed help, the little snot (boy) told me to mind my own business, I told HIM if that was my daughter, Id be out of the car and he'd be on the ground lol

Yes,it does start young and if you don't discipline your kids when they'e young, it's way too late to start when they become teens. I see all kinds of disrespect of parents from young kids, even down to kicking them. I see it for myself and watch to see how the parents take control and stop them...and they don't! The kids get by with it and the parents many times don't even say a word. I cringe inside to think what they'll have on their hands when those same kids become teenagers.

Also, parents today try too much to be their kid's "friend". I think that's a big mistake too. They won't discipline them because they want to be the friend and be the cool parent. I see it all the time.

 

[Jeana (DP)]

The sad thing is that may be all his father was doing....teaching him to stick with committments. But now that snippets are out about his father making him go to a scouting camp and punishing him by not letting him drive his new car for a week after getting his license, there are already rumblings that his father put too much pressure on him or controlled him. If it came out that his father made the children be polite and call people Mrs. or Mr and "ma'am", I can just imagine that would feed that theory of his father being controlling even more.

Well many of us push our kids and its hard to know where to balance it all out. If a child is academically gifted, its even harder. We try and stress that doing their best is good enough, but the problem with gifted kids is that they never think they did their best. They continually think that they should have done better. I guess time will tell what happened in this family.

By the way, if children are brought up to have manners, saying yes ma'am and no ma'am just happens automatically. I'm 44 years old and I still do it. It doesn't take any longer than any other reply!

 

[Bobbisangel]

But that WAS MY POINT! Your parent's generation said the same thing about YOUR generation that you are saying about the CURRENT generation. In other words, nothing much has changed.
:crazy:

I think a lot has changed since the hippie generation. I don't think that the hippies ever had a sense of entitlement. They didn't care about material things. I can't imagine the parents of the hippie generation saying that the hippies couldn't make it through a depression. I am of that generation too.

Many kids now days want to start out their adult life with everything...NOW. When they graduate they want a nice apartment, nice furniture, nice car and later a nice home, etc. Most of them wouldn't be caught dead driving an older car, having less then the best of home furnishing, etc. They might end up over their heads in debt but that is alright with them as long as they have the best.

I raised my 4 kids by myself from the time they were 9,8,7, and almost 5 yrs.
I worked hard to provide for them and they had nice clothes, etc. My mom was a professional seamstress which helped with my 3 girls clothing. When the kids got old enough to babysit for neighbors they did that. As they got older they got other after school jobs and summer jobs. They bought their own school clothes for the most part and never complained. One day my oldest daughter told me that she was really glad that she hadn't grown up with a lot of money. She said "most kids wouldn't know what to do if we had a depression like gramma and grampa lived through but we would live through it because we aren't used to having everything and we know how to budget and spend our money." Even though my kids are grown now with grown children, own homes and nice cars, trucks and furniture I would bet that they can still squeeze that old penny if need be and would be just fine without quite as much to live on.

I don't believe that a lot of kids of this generation could survive because they are handed to much to soon, have little responsibility, and feel entitled to every material thing available. How could a lot of them possibly work from a small budget for food, clothing, home, etc? Most young people are so heavily in debt that if a depression struck or even a recession they would lose everything that they own right down to their designer clothing.

 

[Bobbisangel]

Seriously? You don't consider a kid who could PLAN to murder his family in cold blood to be a monster? I do! Wow.
So what do you consider him to be? A troubled kid?
IMO, a troubled kid does drugs. A troubled kid shoplifts. A troubled kid vandalizes. A monster kills his mom and dad and 13 and 11 year old brothers. But that's just my opinion.

I think a monster is anyone of any age who has a plan to murder his whole family and he follows through with that plan. This kid knew exactly what he was going to do. He goes to his friends to play video games...says he has to go tend to something...walks 3 miles...walks into the house..gets dad's gun and shoots dad in the head...goes upstairs and shoots mom and those two darling boys. He walks out the door...throws the gun away...walks 3 miles back to his friend's home and continues to play video games like nothing happened! Then to top it off he has his friend's dad drive THEM over to his house the next day and him and HIS FRIEND go inside together. They are there because Nick is having some friends over to play wii. He tried to make it look like someone had robbed the home too. He didn't confess to the murders right away either. Probably thought he could b.s. his way through the whole thing and walk away free as a bird. A monster can shoot the woman who gave birth to him and loved him for almost 16 yrs. A monster can point a gun at those two little boys and blast them away like they had no right to live. A monster can shoot his dad in cold blood because the car had been taken from him for a week and because dad didn't bend to his will everytime they had a disagreement. Dad had allowed him to spend the night with his friend the night of the murders or he wouldn't have been there playing games...he would have been at home. It just sounds to me that anytime dad crossed this kid it got worse....then it became deadly.