Texas Mist
Retired WS Staff
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2008
- Messages
- 9,218
- Reaction score
- 146
I do understand that some parents may not know that abuse is happening to their children but for the most part based on my experience those who have been inflicted with horrible incest abuse for long periods of time most assuredly believed the mother did know and did nothing but turn a blind eye to all the red flags that were falling everywhere at the time.
I know without a doubt my mother knew. I was their only child for 16 years. She had no other child to take her attention away from what was happening to her little girl. As a mother she had to see the terror in my eyes when the abuser entered the room. She had to see the many tears I cried and how hard I begged her not to leave me alone with him and to take me to town with her. She not only knew she facilitated him. She would always tell me "no you cant go, you know he doesn't like to be left alone" and she would drive away, simple as that.
I have been to so many victim advocacy group sessions and time and time again as we revealed our own personal pain we had suffered for so very long the subject always gets around to the mothers we had. While a few said they didn't think their mothers knew the vast majority felt they most certainly did and it is the mother's betrayal that they seem to struggle with even over the abusers actions.
My mother passed away over 22 years ago. At times at night, even now and I am 62 years old, when I lay in my bed I still ask my mother "WHY?" and like all the years before no answer ever comes. All I ever wanted was to have parents who loved me and would do anything to protect me. It was not to be but I never changed who I was inside no matter what was done to me from the age of 5 thru 15. They tried to break my spirit but even they could not undo what God had given me.
I cannot say that my parents didn't teach me anything because in the end they did. They gave me an indelible road map of what never ever to do to any child and because of that I can say without reservation that I have been a kind, respectful, loving and supportive mother to five wonderful children. They define who I am.... not the yesteryears of my life in my childhood.
I have traveled the journey just as these victims will have to follow their own path to healing. I have been so blessed in my life and I give thanks to God everyday. I have a very good life filled with warmth and love from not only our 5 children but our 12 grandchildren and the dearest husband anyone could hope for.
So while I can relate to their pain I would much rather relate to the countless many who have succeeded in becoming victim warriors who fought their past battles and won. I hope and pray that these victims in this case will cross that finish line one day, victorious.
imo
oceanblueeyes, you have my deepest empathies for what you've been thru...you are a true SURVIVOR!
(((hugs)))