I do agree with you but not in a case like this one.Shelby put Tyler to bed at 6pm to go out and party.She came home drunk at 2:30 am she killed Tyler because probably after hours of being awake with a dirty diaper,empty tummy he just wanted out of the crib he had been in since 6pm.God knows how many times he was left in his crib while mommy slept the day away.She is a selfish ,uncaring ,underage drinking witch IMO.How do we stop that from happening?
Well, mothers and fathers can start by letting their kids know what they will and will not put up with. And if they get pregnant, the parents can tell them that they will have to take full responsibility for the child, can no longer "party" or otherwise act irresponsibly, must get a job or be in school and put the child first, otherwise, the grandparents will boot their behinds out of the house after getting a solid guardianship of the grandchild. That's for starters.
Also, we need more mandatory and serious programs in high schools about birth control, the difficulty and reality of raising a child and parenting classes for all teens, boys and girls, along with economics on raising them - what it costs, etc.
We also need to strive for a culture that instead of glorifying irresponsible and violent teen parents with reality shows, puts a bit more shame into bringing a child into the world when one is too immature and irresponsible to properly care for it. A lot of the mothers who kill their kids seem to look at the child as a toy or accessory but if there was some societal shame in making babies and keeping them rather than giving them up when one cannot provide a life for them, maybe the lure of having such a "pet" would be lessened.
I think we also need to be able to look for the signs more. We are talking about how Shelby was viewed as a mom. Her friends viewed her as "independent" and a good mom because Tyler wailed when she left the room for a moment. Maybe the friends would not see those as signs, but if we had more dialogue, like we are having here, maybe more mature adults would and ask some questions.
Finally, as members of society, we have to all strive to make that society more focused on being decent people, helping one another, being responsible, loving our families and putting the welfare of dependent souls like little children, animals, the elderly and the sick, above the quest for money or things or status. The vapid, narcissistic trend in our society as evidenced by the popularity of carp like Jersey Shore, the Real Housewives, etc., and the glorification of people like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, impacts immoral or amoral people to a greater degree than it does moral, ethical ones. It makes them feel there are no consequences for getting whatever they want and hurting people to get it. It makes them feel like they can get away with anything. It feeds their evil.
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Remember that first basic psych class in college? In ours they talked a lot about Ainsworth and maternal attachment. Around 9-10 months it's completely normal for all kids to go through a phase where they cry more with separation of those they see the most. However, it's considered a rather minimal display (depending on how it's reinforced) and kids settle easy, and are happy upon mom re-entering the room, and they outgrow it. This is a general response, obviously a sleepy baby may not settle well after getting upset, but generally that's the theory with an otherwise content child.
Then there is Ambivalent Attachment and in AA the child becomes more extremely distressed because they feel insecure in their ability to provide for them as it is. It can also take longer for their distress to simmer off. It is considered to be caused by the mother not being available.
The Avoident Attachment category is the one where the child shows no real preference for their mother over others.
Just an interesting thought on attachment... it's hard to say never having been able to see them together. I have to believe that most normal mothers who love their babies can't do this though...
I do remember although I don't remember the exact terms (it has been awhile)! Makes sense!
I never called myself an AP mom, because I didn't want to be bound to a method... and it was a majorly underground movement when I was reading about it anyway, so there was no need to label. But my parenting (and foster parenting to the extent appropriate) happens to fall in line with AP. I had a sling from South America years before they were available in the US. IME what your friends tell you is true.
Slings are the most amazing therapy for babies and toddlers with attachment disorders. Based on my own experience with my kids getting older, I do have strong beliefs in the benefits of early and prolonged attachment between child and caregiver. Unfortunately, I see many moms falling in hook, line, and sinker into a version of this movement which is much more black and white than it was originally intended. I wont' get into the implications of that, but falling to hard for anything and losing your balance is a bad thing IMO.
OT for a moment but I'm right with ya'. My family is from southern Europe mostly and what is called attachment parenting here is just parenting there. Babies don't generally sleep in their own rooms at night. They aren't left with sitters. They are held or rocked til' they fall asleep. There is no concept of letting a child cry to strengthen their lungs or learn to soothe themselves. Babies are held almost constantly. never would a bottle be propped in a child's mouth, babies are fed when they are hungry, not on a schedule, etc., etc. I used to laugh watching my aunts practically break their necks trying to be the first to reach whatever child whimpered a tiny bit. Being exposed to American parenting styles, having been raised here, it almost annoyed me at times.
But I also agree that some of the parents following the attachment parenting craze are just nuts. They will never let their child be without skin-to-skin contact for a moment? It's okay to let baby learn to crawl or develop muscles from sitting up, instead of being hunched over into the sling all the time. Wow, sometimes when we adopt something here, we go crazy with it.
I'll add that the parenting style we are more familiar with, with the schedules and the separate rooms, the crib, the letting a baby cry and be "independent", that's a style that came from the Victorian era and which had to do with control and science, more than instinct and it reflected more of an American love of independence over communal-based mindsets.
In any event, we certainly can surmise that little Tyler neither experienced attachment parenting or regular American parenting designed to foster independence. Either one would have been a blessing compared with his sad fate.
. People used to/still comment on how happy and outgoing she was/is! 
