Vader Wim en zijn broer Hans Faber over de moordzaak: ‘Wat als straks Annes dood is vergeten?’
Father Wim and his brother Hans Faber on the murder case: 'What when Anne's death is forgotten?'
The reports are devastating, politicians have reacted 'dismayed', perpetrator Michael P. is in prison. And now a book has been published by Anne Faber's family about the murder case. Because those responsible seem to get away with it, father Wim Faber and his brother Hans Faber fear.
On the table at Wim Faber's home lies a white book with golden letters on the cover. ANNE, it says. Exactly the same letters as on the card that announced her birth.
"Usually," his brother Hans says, "a writer is happy once his book is there."
For months he locked himself away to describe directly and clearly how everything changed after 29 September 2017. The day his niece Anne - Wim's daughter - was raped, killed and buried by Michael P.
They know that the case will disappear into the background. Once P.'s appeal has been lodged in May, the rest of the Netherlands will slowly forget about them. Anne Faber's story will become a vague memory. And those guilty will continue with their lives.
That's why this book had to be written. In it, former journalist Hans Faber describes the suffering of the family, the search for the truth, the unimaginable horrors of Anne's death, their censorship in politics and the media, the confrontation with Michael P. and the failure to settle the accounts.
This book, say the two brothers, is a monument and a warning in one.
"Dear, dear all", Elze said. She stood in the middle of the large group of people. The murmur silenced, the glances turned in her direction. "How beautiful to see you all on the birthday of our Anne. It's sad, but it's also nice to be together on this day. Anne would have turned 27 today, but will remain 25 forever. Even when all of Anne's contemporaries look the same as Wim and I do, Anne will still be in the prime of her life in our minds. Just as funny, smart, beautiful, sweet, sparkling and radiant, just as young... 25 years old."
As she spoke, waiters went around with glasses of cava. Wim also got a glass pressed into his hands. It felt strange. As far as he was concerned, a bottle of vodka would have been more appropriate.
Wim: 'That bottle of vodka is typical of the double feeling I had while being there. It was in restaurant Vuur, the place where we gathered every day to search for Anne. It was self-evident to go there again. But what do you do at such a moment? Celebrate? Commemorate? Cry? Drop down on the floor?"
Hans: "What Elze (Anne's mother and Wim's ex-wife, ed.) says here is that, despite everything, she hasn't lost her feeling."
Wim: "When I drove there, I saw the spot where Anne made her last selfie. Do you have to drink cava? I doubt that. But I actually doubt everything."
In the book Hans describes how both Elze and Wim no longer feel anything after Anne's disappearance. Operating like machines. For some time, brother Wim used been liquor to muffle his grief. Vodka.
"Anaesthetics," Wim says. "Escapism. To compensate for the drink, I ran half a marathon every week. I haven't accepted much consolation, yet. I want answers first."
Wim clung to a ritual for months on end. He stood up, grabbed his laptop, opened it on the dining table and tapped 'Anne Faber' on Google. He saw the latest stories via the news search function. Only when he had read everything, did he prepare his breakfast. That was the way it was for months. "Are you hoarding again?" Alice (from Victim Aid, ed.) asked him during one of the walks in the Sonsbeekpark. "You keep filling yourself full with information. Until you're completely stuck."
Hans: "Of course I saw that happen. And I understood his need enormously. But it's so much and so big that I also thought: you don't have to do it on your own. Otherwise you'll blow yourself up."
Wim: "My problem was that I realised very quickly that everything had gone wrong. I wanted to know why."
Hans: 'There was a period when we paid extra attention to Wim. But there was no point in stopping him. What's more, he was right. All kinds of mistakes have been made. But that conclusion also made him irritable. He became angry with the people he loves."
Wim: "At a certain moment I recognized the mechanism: the risk is alienation, that people around you leave. I'm still struggling to endure lightness."
"The most gruesome part of all, that which hurts the most, is alwass hushed up. During the many conversations I had with professionals, family members and friends, a lot was discussed, but everything fell silent when it came to Anne's suffering. An in-depth conversation about what really happened never took place, not with Elze, not with Rogier (Wim and Elze's son, ed.), not with my friend Barbara, not with friends, not with the professionals, nor with my psychologist"
Wim: 'The psychologist asked me to go back to the moments Anne experienced.'
Hans:
"We have both seen the entire police report. I know he's read it, he knows I've read it: that very long list of injuries. But you can't say it. Your brain works in such a way that you can't talk about it."
Wim: "I noticed that I couldn't think it." Earlier Wim told me that he wanted to live through everything that his daughter had to endure. That he didn't want to look away.
Wim:
"I tried to take over Anne's pain. Tried standing next to her. But I know now that at some point you can't get any further. Then you can't grasp it anymore and that's the limit. I have to resign myself to that."
"Do you know what I notice?" Wim said at one point. "These journalists are busy on Twitter all the time. Anyone can follow what's happening in court live. But when it comes to the details of the murder and rape, they're silent..."
"They take into account the next of kin. Us. I understand that, " Wim said. I'm not saying that I want those details to be shared. The only thing I wonder about is how people can judge whether a claim or punishment is justified. I mean, everyone is talking about Anne and P., but nobody knows what really happened. No one faces the facts. Is that a sign of civilisation? Or do we all prefer to look away?
Wim: "
Hiddema was right to point this out in the Lower House. I think that the President of the House should not have reprimanded him, despite the pain for the family."
Member of Parliament Theo Hiddema (FvD) recently discussed horrific details of P.'s earlier rapes during the debate on the errors surrounding his detention. Anne's mother Elze walked out of the Chamber. Hiddema was strongly criticised.
Wim: 'Hiddema should have just said what he wanted. However painful, everything he said was true. The worst thing I find is looking away and pretending that it's all just an abstract event. This way you give everyone the opportunity not having to know. We have to look the beast in the mouth."
Hans: "I was sitting in the Chamber and felt the discomfort of those present."
Wim: "You immediately saw the shock in the Chamber when they heard this. It was almost panic. That is a sign that something is wrong, that politicians are insufficiently informed. I didn't go to the parliamentary debate because I already knew what would happen. That not enough would be asked and that the real people responsible would get away with it: the chairman of the board of Fivoor (the clinic in Den Dolder, ed.), the director of the prison in Vught, the judges...."
"A week before the court session I was sitting on the couch with Carmen, a coach and therapist whom I (Hans, ed.) often consulted. I told her about P. She heard me attentively. After talking for half an hour, she asked: 'So? How do you want to sit in that courtroom? What do you want to radiate when you sit there?' That I won't be intimidated.' You don't have to do that,' said Carmen. That's power against power. He's used to that. His whole life. You're not going to win that."
Wim: "I wasn't in the audience. I don't think anyone can expect me to be in one room with P., while I'm sitting in my chair."
Hans: "P. was stuffed with painkillers. Once I looked aside and he looked in my direction. But he's squinting, so I don't know if he was looking at me."
Wim: "I stared around aimlessly. The contrast between that overcivilised world of the courtroom, in which everyone sits on his chair and speaks neatly during his turn, and the total chaos of what really happened. I have felt that intensely."
Six months after Anne's death, the detective asked Wim if he would like to receive a letter of apology from P.'s family. "I had no need for that," says Wim. "It wasn't until later that it became clear to me that his family hadn't cooperated in the background investigation in his earlier trial, which made it more difficult to impose TBS on him. That they are co-responsible for everything. It seems so innocent, a letter, but it's going to be very different with that knowledge."
"It doesn't help us get Anne back, but by being open about what happened to her, her relatives and her friends, we can hopefully prevent future tragedies and traumas. That's the purpose of this book."
Wim:
"So far, no one has taken responsibility. Yes, Minister Dekker, but he was not a minister when it happened. There are all kinds of improvement plans; tomorrow everything will be different. But it wasn't just systems that failed, people were involved."
Hans:
"I hope that employees in forensic care will take their profession seriously. I hope that judges who are dealing with a case and want to go home on time will still conduct additional investigations into the suspects. I hope that lawyers no longer advise their clients to remain silent in order to avoid TBS. When they read the book, they know: this is what you can set in motion. This is what can happen."
BBM
