GUILTY NH - AH, 14, North Conway, 9 October 2013 - #12

[Psychic Sleuth]

IMO the only ones who need an explanation at this point are Mom, Dad and sister. And it's quite possible even THEY don't know much. The information may be slow in coming and quite honestly Abby may need some counseling before she's able to tell the entire story. We just don't know. She could have run away and was having a great time or the extreme opposite. Regardless she is a child and needs some privacy and respect and so does her family. JC is NOT her family and IMO is entitled to nothing other than knowing she is alive, safe and home. And that should be enough for him and everyone else for now. I want details just as much as the next person, but I do not believe I am entitled to know anything. Give it time.

 

[CrystalAnn]

All of this talk about 'rights to information', being entitled or being owed an explanation -- it all leaves a bad taste in my mouth. There's never any reason given as to *why* anyone needs to know these things other than curiosity some have in the personal and private details of a minor's life. I think it reflects badly on the conversations we have here if people are participating as if it is an investment that will guarantee that they are owed information down the road. Abby is safe -- that's a greater reward than I think any of us ever expected.

I haven't been on this site as long as some of you, but I've been here long enough to know that we rarely get ALL the answers we want. Yes, I would LOVE to know where Abigail has been all this time, but I am not owed it. I am glad she is home safely, and no matter what she's been through it is her right to privacy and I respect that. It sucks sometimes going months in these cases and in the end not getting all the answers. Att least this case ended in her coming home, because that doesn't happen enough.

 

[gitana1]

I think the way to determine whether someone is owed something- information or otherwise- is if there are legal ramifications to withholding the info or other thing someone thinks is owed, or to divulging or relinquishing the info or other thing. Are certain constitutional rights being violated by withholding info.? Can someone successfully sue for damages as a result of info being withheld? Would someone's rights be violated if such information was released? Would a criminal investigation be compromised be the release of such info?

These are the questions we need to ask when determining whether we, or the friend's father, are entitled in any manner to immediate information.

If the answer is no, then screaming about it, making demands, making assertions about subjective duties owed, etc., is useless. Everyone will just have to be patient.

Im certain info will come out eventually. But the current incessant demands for that info right this instant, is starting to feel a bit witch hunty to me.

 

[Fireweed]

Abigail is a CHILD. He is not her father. He is not her mother. He has no relation to her whatsoever. He is not owed any explanation further than that she is home safe. If he cared about her like he says he did, he should be overjoyed and satisfied knowing that she is home and anything else is just him being nosey and uncalled for. Obviously Abigails family and the authorities feel the same.

<Mod Snip>. She is a CHILD. Come on.

<Mod Snip> So if someone is a minor, then anything and everything that happens to them, even if it has a devastating effect on other people (heck, even another child in this case), is completely barred from explanation? I don't think so. Children do not have an absolute privacy right, nor should they.

Again, we should exercise sensitive and caution when dealing with a child, but if Abby ran away, then yes, she owes that man an explanation.

 

[cluciano63]

For me, the main reason for "needing/wanting" to know is because LE has put out a sketch of a possible offender. It would be important to me, if I lived in the area, to know where he came from, how he happened to "drive her away", if he made prior contact pretending to be someone else, etc.

Jmo those are not just nosy questions parents and locals may have, they are valid ones.

 

[CrystalAnn]

For me, the main reason for "needing/wanting" to know is because LE has put out a sketch of a possible offender. It would be important to me, if I lived in the area, to know where he came from, how he happened to "drive her away", if he made prior contact pretending to be someone else, etc.

Jmo those are not just nosy questions parents and locals may have, they are valid ones.

I actually agree with these reasons for wanting to know. I was thinking, maybe the police don't even know this information. Is it possible Abby isn't talking AT ALL. If she did run away with this older man she may still be protecting him and not talking to police. Maybe they got this description from cameras or bystanders around where she was dropped off, and Abby isn't say anything else about how it happened.

 

[Mountaingazer]

I don't even understand all this arguing. LE has said we will get answers. This is an ongoing investigation, when it is concluded and they have all the answers then they will release info. People are acting like LE has said case closed nothing to see here. Let them do their work, they themselves have stated they don't have all the answers yet so how are they supposed to share what they don't yet know with the public?

 

[liljim]

I think the way to determine whether someone is owed something- information or otherwise- is if there are legal ramifications to withholding the info or other thing someone thinks is owed, or to divulging or relinquishing the info or other thing. Are certain constitutional rights being violated by withholding info.? Can someone successfully sue for damages as a result of info being withheld? Would someone's rights be violated if such information was released? Would a criminal investigation be compromised be the release of such info?

These are the questions we need to ask when determining whether we, or the friend's father, are entitled in any manner to immediate information.

If the answer is no, then screaming about it, making demands, making assertions about subjective duties owed, etc., is useless. Everyone will just have to be patient.

Im certain info will come out eventually. But the current incessant demands for that info right this instant, is starting to feel a bit witch hunty to me.

the only fact i feel is important to resolve quickly, and release to the public as soon as responsibly possible, is one regarding public safety. something that LE has a duty to settle and inform the public of if they can, and one that the public has every right to want to know;

should the public be concerned that there is one or more persons out there right now that may be looking for their next victim? they could do this without even stating what they believe the nature of this disappearance is by just saying "we strongly feel that there is no threat to the public at large regarding the circumstances of this case"

they claim that they cant say that because they still do not know, i believe them. and i think it is reasonable for a person to then wonder, without casting aspersions on LE, "hmmm why dont they know? this is quite unusual.", "is that something they should have been able to find out by now? is that a reasonable opinion?"

 

[gitana1]

All of this talk about 'rights to information', being entitled or being owed an explanation -- it all leaves a bad taste in my mouth. There's never any reason given as to *why* anyone needs to know these things other than curiosity some have in the personal and private details of a minor's life. I think it reflects badly on the conversations we have here if people are participating as if it is an investment that will guarantee that they are owed information down the road. Abby is safe -- that's a greater reward than I think any of us ever expected.

Beautiful post.

I was shocked to read that Abby came home safe!!! That's usually not what we hear! It was lovely, heartwarming news, so exciting. And I rushed over here thrilled to celebrate with some of the most caring, passionate people in the world.

I must say say I was sadly disappointed to see so much untoward speculation and such strident demands to dismantle the privacy of a little girl who was or is likely traumatized, if not by whatever she went through, then by the backlash because she wasn't found dead.

And when it comes to the public at large (not my fellow webslethers), it almost seems prurient. As if the thrill of another death was wrongfully denied to the public, so now the salacious details of her violation or whatever happened, are required, or if no such details exist, then the child and her parents must pay via public denunciation and humiliation.

I expect a shelter here from the ruthlessness of the public sentiment. And while we still maintain that to a large degree, I'm saddened that there is more speculation than celebration.

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

For me, the main reason for "needing/wanting" to know is because LE has put out a sketch of a possible offender. It would be important to me, if I lived in the area, to know where he came from, how he happened to "drive her away", if he made prior contact pretending to be someone else, etc.

Jmo those are not just nosy questions parents and locals may have, they are valid ones.

I agree, if there is a dangerous man out there the community does need to be aware. However, it sounds like LE is not real clear on that. Did Abby go willingly or was she kidnapped? Was she coerced, groomed, ran away and asked this guy for a ride somewhere or what? Does this man really exist? I am not sure on any of that and I don't think LE is either at this point. I think they need to handle this with kid gloves. Is Abby being totally truthful? I don't know. I'm not saying she isn't, just not sure at this point. I think there is a lot more to this story and how/if they get all the details out of Abby remains to be seen. They need to be sensitive to both her physical and mental health at this point. I would bet they are trying to get answers without putting too much pressure on her.

 

[cluciano63]

I think the fact that LE seems to know so little (even if they do really know more) is reflecting poorly on Abigail to some people, as it makes it seem she is not cooperating. Especially after they seemed to indicate her health was good. So,people get frustrated and react badly. I guess in a small town, a disappearance like this had a huge effect, more so than in a larger population. They seemed to take it very personally. Anyway jmo.

 

[katydid23]

Please, tell me, what good what it do to know what Abigail has been through?

If he is told she ran away then what would it change now?

If she was tortured and held captive, what would it change now?

This random man who spent some time with this child, if he knows the details what good would it do him to know?

If she truly has been through a traumatic experience, how do you think ABIGAIL would feel sharing this with her ex-bf and his old man.

seriously. i just dont understand why he needs to know.

I am probably not very objective, as I had a very similar experience. My son's 15 yr old girlfriend ran away one time. He was 16. We had LE knocking at our door, and I willingly allowed them to look in our home. I was holding my breath because to be honest, I was afraid she might have been hiding somewhere. I was so worried about her, but my son was very calm. So I figured she was OK< just didnt want to be found yet.

Her parents were very strict and kind of unreasonable. She told my son that her Dad had slapped her. She finally had enough and took off. For several days I did not know where she was. But my son admitted that he did know, and that she was fine. But he did not want to tell me or I might tell the police where she was hiding. And he was right.

During that time my son was followed if he left the house and he got lots of angry calls from her family. After 7 days she went to the family church services and met them there. And she had the pastor mediate. They worked things out.

Now if I put myself in Abigails case instead of the one I went through, it would have been very different. I cant imagine what it would have been like if my son really did not know where she was, and if she was OK or not. That would have been so very difficult. And how would my son have dealt with the suspicions and accusations for months and months? It would have been unbearable.

My son's gf was hiding at a good friends home, with the friend's parents knowledge. When she arrived in the middle of the night she had a huge handprint on her cheek. So they let her stay. And they wanted her to call the police but she did not want her dad to lose his job. So they let her stay while things cooled down.

I cannot imagine having her gone for 9 months, and going through what we would have gone through, and then never having any explanation for the disappearance. It would have been very unfair, imo. When someone runs off, it affects many people, not just their immediate family. :moo:

ETA; to answer your question of WHY the bf would need to know, I think it is common courtesy. I think it does make a difference if she was kidnapped or if she ran away and stayed away voluntarily. Her situation greatly affected the lives of the bf and the father. They were seen as possible participants. So why wouldn't they want to know what actually happened?

 

[Mom24]

Before Christmas I posted if Abby came home I would be happy and there would be no questions asked. I'm happy and I really don't need to know what happened. I'm sticking by my word. I continue to look at state sex offender sites and I've seen a few that resemble the sketch but nothing firm yet.
Is there any address set up to send get well cards to for Abby?

 

[Fireweed]

I think the fact that LE seems to know so little (even if they do really know more) is reflecting poorly on Abigail to some people, as it makes it seem she is not cooperating. Especially after they seemed to indicate her health was good. So,people get frustrated and react badly. I guess in a small town, a disappearance like this had a huge effect, more so than in a larger population. They seemed to take it very personally. Anyway jmo.

I think people are having a normal, human reaction. People from that area were really worked up over this. I am sure many parents were terrified. Now it is supposed to be "over" and there are still so many unanswered questions, namely whether Abby was kidnapped or not. I get why the people from there are upset. Then, the information released from LE is so cryptic and odd. A sketch of a guy with a vague description and really nothing else? Huh? It makes no sense in light of the circumstances, and I can see why the people from that area are getting more and more upset.

 

[imamaze]

We all have a right to our opinion providing it is within TOS. Please allow all of us to do this.

Its fine to think the boyfriend and his dad have a right to know. Legally I don't think they have that right at this time, but that is my opinion. I'm sure they will know in time.

Disagree with the post and not the poster and please don't tell others how or what to post and don't get after anyone for their opinion.

Remember Abigail is a minor and she is the victim here. As always if you feel a post is against TOS then alert.

Ima

 

[CrystalAnn]

I am probably not very objective, as I had a very similar experience. My son's 15 yr old girlfriend ran away one time. He was 16. We had LE knocking at our door, and I willingly allowed them to look in our home. I was holding my breath because to be honest, I was afraid she might have been hiding somewhere. I was so worried about her, but my son was very calm. So I figured she was OK< just didnt want to be found yet.

Her parents were very strict and kind of unreasonable. She told my son that her Dad had slapped her. She finally had enough and took off. For several days I did not know where she was. But my son admitted that he did know, and that she was fine. But he did not want to tell me or I might tell the police where she was hiding. And he was right.

During that time my son was followed if he left the house and he got lots of angry calls from her family. After 7 days she went to the family church services and met them there. And she had the pastor mediate. They worked things out.

Now if I put myself in Abigails case instead of the one I went through, it would have been very different. I cant imagine what it would have been like if my son really did not know where she was, and if she was OK or not. That would have been so very difficult. And how would my son have dealt with the suspicions and accusations for months and months? It would have been unbearable.

My son's gf was hiding at a good friends home, with the friend's parents knowledge. When she arrived in the middle of the night she had a huge handprint on her cheek. So they let her stay. And they wanted her to call the police but she did not want her dad to lose his job. So they let her stay while things cooled down.

I cannot imagine having her gone for 9 months, and going through what we would have gone through, and then never having any explanation for the disappearance. It would have been very unfair, imo. When someone runs off, it affects many people, not just their immediate family. :moo:

Maybe if this man hadn't been such an outspoken.. well, kind of a jerk throughout this ordeal, and maybe been more sensitive with information then and now, Abbys mom might want to speak to him about it. He has done interviews and released information and spoke out about things I don't think Abby's family or the authorities wanted out. He kind of made a spectacle of Abby and tried to make it all about him and his son. If Abby was my daughter, I would be furious at that man.

Maybe they will tell him in the future, maybe they wont. I don't think he's owed it, have I said that yet? lol jk! But seriously, I wouldn't say a word to that man cause I guarantee he will go immediately and blab it all to the news!!!

 

[Linda7NJ]

Beautiful post.

I was shocked to read that Abby came home safe!!! That's usually not what we hear! It was lovely, heartwarming news, so exciting. And I rushed over here thrilled to celebrate with some of the most caring, passionate people in the world.

I must say say I was sadly disappointed to see so much untoward speculation and such strident demands to dismantle the privacy of a little girl who was or is likely traumatized, if not by whatever she went through, then by the backlash because she wasn't found dead.

And when it comes to the public at large (not my fellow webslethers), it almost seems prurient. As if the thrill of another death was wrongfully denied to the public, so now the salacious details of her violation or whatever happened, are required, or if no such details exist, then the child and her parents must pay via public denunciation and humiliation.

I expect a shelter here from the ruthlessness of the public sentiment. And while we still maintain that to a large degree, I'm saddened that there is more speculation than celebration.

Beautifully stated, thank you!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Jacie Estes]

BBM There may not be a threat to the general public; this man in the sketch may well be under surveillance at this time and LE doesn't want to tip their hand. LE doesn't have to share info with the public during an investigation. If anyone who has been suspected in this case were to be assaulted by the 'mob mentality' of those who 'deserve' answers that would hinder the investigation. Also, none of us are going to be investigating this case or doing a ride along so what is the point of needing to know details?

the only fact i feel is important to resolve quickly, and release to the public as soon as responsibly possible, is one regarding public safety. something that LE has a duty to settle and inform the public of if they can, and one that the public has every right to want to know;

should the public be concerned that there is one or more persons out there right now that may be looking for their next victim? they could do this without even stating what they believe the nature of this disappearance is by just saying "we strongly feel that there is no threat to the public at large regarding the circumstances of this case"

they claim that they cant say that because they still do not know, i believe them. and i think it is reasonable for a person to then wonder, without casting aspersions on LE, "hmmm why dont they know? this is quite unusual.", "is that something they should have been able to find out by now? is that a reasonable opinion?"

 

[katydid23]

Maybe if this man hadn't been such an outspoken.. well, kind of a jerk throughout this ordeal, and maybe been more sensitive with information then and now, Abbys mom might want to speak to him about it. He has done interviews and released information and spoke out about things I don't think Abby's family or the authorities wanted out. He kind of made a spectacle of Abby and tried to make it all about him and his son. If Abby was my daughter, I would be furious at that man.

Maybe they will tell him in the future, maybe they wont. I don't think he's owed it, have I said that yet? lol jk! But seriously, I wouldn't say a word to that man cause I guarantee he will go immediately and blab it all to the news!!!

True, he was pretty insensitive. But try and put yourself in his shoes. What if your son, also a CHILD, was under suspicion, falsely? Wouldn't you speak out and try to defend him. Even if doing so might be awkward and insensitive to the other party?

My sons gf's parents were very angry AT MY SON because they found birth control pills in her room. They instantly blamed him and were very rude and accusatory towards us. They accused him of taking her virginity. My son told me that she was having sex before he even met her. And he was the one that convinced her to get some protection. But he did not tell her parents that. He let them blame him, which they did for awhile. Eventually they learned the truth though and they apologized.

So things can get very sticky and complicated in these kinds of family dynamics. You see this man as making a spectacle of Amy. But it might also be said that he was trying to shift the blame away from his son. And maybe now what he wants is confirmation that his son was innocent all along.

 

[liljim]

BBM There may not be a threat to the general public; this man in the sketch may well be under surveillance at this time and LE doesn't want to tip their hand. LE doesn't have to share info with the public during an investigation. If anyone who has been suspected in this case were to be assaulted by the 'mob mentality' of those who 'deserve' answers that would hinder the investigation. Also, none of us are going to be investigating this case or doing a ride along so what is the point of needing to know details?

yes, there may or may not be a threat to the public, that is exactly what needs to be resolved.
i think imo that if the man in the sketch was under surveillance then they would not have released the sketch.
LE does have obligation to share some information with the public during investigations, specifically things that impact public safety, obviously these issues are balanced against the integrity of the investigation.
just because a member of the public is not part of the investigation does not mean they are not entitled to know details of the investigation that impact public safety, you dont have to be on a ride along after a bank robbery to be entitled to know if the police are aware of multiple men currently shooting up your neighborhood with assault weapons.