NJ NJ - Little Ferry, LIVING AsianMale 4-5mos, 793UMNJ, Down's Syndrome, left @babysitter's home Jan'03

[ChatteringBirds]

I hope this boy is doing well and that his mother is happy out there. I don't understand having any judgment toward his mother. She left him in a safe place with a caregiver. The reason doesn't even matter. She could have even have severe PPD. If everyone is safe, that is all that matters.

 

[Goecke]

Looking into safe haven laws in NJ, it seems like they only apply to infants 30 days or younger. So if he was 2-4 months old, the safe haven law would no longer apply and it sounds like the mom would be prosecuted regardless of where she left him.

Also, is there a considerable difference in care between a baby that age that has DS and a baby that doesn't? You would think there wouldn't be, since all 2-4 month olds need constant care no matter what. Therefore I doubt that he was abandoned because he was "too hard" to raise. If that was the case, I'd assume the mom would wait until the baby was older and the developmental problems presented with DS would become more noticeable. And if it was a stigma-related thing, she'd probably give him up for adoption at birth instead of wait a few months.
Maybe raising a baby in general proved too difficult, or she couldn't afford to properly care for him?

I don't want to judge the mother here, since we don't know the circumstances and we're not sure if the woman who left him with the babysitter was even his mother. I'm just thinking out loud.

 

[Laughing]

Looking into safe haven laws in NJ, it seems like they only apply to infants 30 days or younger. So if he was 2-4 months old, the safe haven law would no longer apply and it sounds like the mom would be prosecuted regardless of where she left him.

Also, is there a considerable difference in care between a baby that age that has DS and a baby that doesn't? You would think there wouldn't be, since all 2-4 month olds need constant care no matter what. Therefore I doubt that he was abandoned because he was "too hard" to raise. If that was the case, I'd assume the mom would wait until the baby was older and the developmental problems presented with DS would become more noticeable. And if it was a stigma-related thing, she'd probably give him up for adoption at birth instead of wait a few months.
Maybe raising a baby in general proved too difficult, or she couldn't afford to properly care for him?

I don't want to judge the mother here, since we don't know the circumstances and we're not sure if the woman who left him with the babysitter was even his mother. I'm just thinking out loud.

Actually, there often are feeding problems with infants who have Down syndrome. Combination of low muscle tone, large tongue, and small mouth:

Feeding Problems - Down's Heart Group

Parental experiences of feeding problems in their infants with Down syndrome

We just don't know, likely we never will.

 

[Blurgle]

And if it was a stigma-related thing, she'd probably give him up for adoption at birth instead of wait a few months.

She might not have been the one who abandoned the child. I can imagine a family who couldn’t force a young mother to give up her disabled child at birth taking matters into their own hands to circumvent the "obstinate, stubborn, selfish" girl intent on bringing "shame" and "humiliation" to the family. Enough browbeating and she might be cowed into accepting the inevitable. In many Asian (and Western!!) cultures it's considered the height of selfish, wasteful arrogance to raise a disabled child, in part because it wastes precious resources that could instead go to a healthy child.

(Although Down Syndrome is more common in children of older mothers, it's far from unheard of for a young mother to have a Down Syndrome child. The risk is less but it's never zero; forty years ago, most DS kids were born to young mothers, because so few women over 40 were having children.)

 

[aThousandYearsWide]

Baby doe's case is in the resolved section of the Doe Network

793UMNJ, discovered on January 24, 2003 in Little Ferry, New Jersey is a closed case per LE and NCMEC. No further information is available.

.https://www.doenetwork.org/closed2022.php

 

[MarziPanda]

I wonder if it's closed because they found his parents or if they just closed it because it's not really a criminal matter.

 

[Goecke]

I feel like NCMEC keeps cases of parental/family kidnapping victims, even if there's proof of the child being alive in another country (pictures, school records, etc).
I hope they closed the case because they found the parents. I can't imagine abandoning an infant with a babysitter WOULDN'T be considered criminal, no matter who the person who left him was (not sure if it was the mom).

 

[carbuff]

I wonder if they closed it because the boy turned 18. Is New Jersey a state that purges juvenile records when a child comes of age?

 

[Enjay99]

The Doe Network: Case File 793UMNJ




Unidentified Asian Male

• The victim was discovered on January 24, 2003 in Little Ferry, Bergen County, New Jersey
• Living and abandoned infant
• Diagnosed with Down's Syndrome

Vital Statistics

• Estimated age: 4-5 months old
• Approximate Height and Weight: 1'11" (58 cm); 11 lbs (5 kg).
• Distinguishing Characteristics: Black hair; brown eyes.

Case History
The victim was located in Little Ferry, New Jersey on January 24, 2003.
The child was left at a babysitter's home by a woman who claimed to be his mother and she never returned to pick him up.

Associated Adult
Vital Statistics

• Date Of Birth: about 1974-1982
• Age at Time of Disappearance: 21-29 years old
• Height and Weight at Time of Disappearance: "tall"; 90 lbs (41 kg).
• Distinguishing Characteristics: Asian female (she is Korean in origin). She has light-colored, dyed brown hair.
• Other: She drives a two-door red vehicle with a "wing" on the trunk lid.

I remember this like yesterday, being from North Jersey, I also saw this child at a ShopRite years ago, he was adopted in North Jersey about 30 minutes from where he was abandoned. I thought it was a cool sighting.