OH - Spencer and Monique Tepe found shot to death at home 2 children unharmed, Columbus, 30 December 2025 *ex-husband arrested*

[Cassie P]

If he was not actually planting some devices, he could have been checking on their alarm system, their Wifi signal, seeing where the windows were. He could also have scoped out the area- ways to approach, places to park, avenues of escape. Maybe once he was in the mid west again, he started snooping more online, asking mutual friends more questions, seeing the wedding video- maybe it all sort of "snow balled" from bad curiosity to a bigger obsession. We really do not know if he was there even earlier- checking their vehicles, snooping through their garbage? spying? I would think that some of Monique's closest friends would have known how she felt but maybe some less close people had no idea what had happened to her, so maybe he asked a lot of people questions, and until he approached some one who was really close, it did not get back to her. For all we know, maybe Monique thought he was still out west. (all speculation. my thought, since she ran away from him with her parents' help, she never spoke to him or contacted him. I would think if he got her phone # and called or texted, she would have blocked him and changed the # IMO)

Yes I think he was doing reconnaissance. Checking out the future crime scene, entrance, exit, parking, etc. Just as you outline. Also stalkers love to do surveillance. So high probability he was planting some devices, etc. You nailed it.

In terms of her blocking his number automatically: I understand that most people here are thinking like non abused women. Women who are not being stalked. Women who are not frightened.

Terrified women might not automatically block the stalker's phone, or refuse to respond. They may be afraid of escalating the situation, and making the abuser even more angry and revengeful. They may also want more information about what is going on and why is the abuser contacting her again. This is usually the case when kids are involved, maybe a new marriage she is trying to protect.

So what seems like a simple problem to everyone else, is not simple to a woman who is being stalked. Also an ex wife may not understand the danger, that her abusive ex is spiraling out of control and in worse shape than when they were married. She may think she can handle the situation.

We don't know all the details, but I am trying to help people understand what might have been going on with a woman who has an abusive ex husband starting to stalk her. Or has been stalking her for some time.

 

[Cassie P]

We have no idea which hotel they stayed in, but having been to many Big Ten Championship games, I know that at least one hotel (JW Marriott) connects directly to the stadium. You don’t even need to go outdoors to access, just a sky bridge.

These games do not have in & out privileges. Once you leave, the only way to re enter would be by buying another ticket.

Without knowing when they purchased the hotel and/or their game tickets, the cost of the day (ticket, hotel, food & drink) would’ve likely been north of 1000 per person. Only adding that total as there was speculation above. Not a game you’d leave lightly.

Yes thank you. This is what OSU fans are saying. You would not leave without very good reason, nor would you ask anyone else to leave it. Maybe if OSU was losing, but for this game at half time the score was a nail biter of 10-6 as I recall. This was the most important game of the season, or the second most important game I should say.

 

[Cassie P]

We have no idea which hotel they stayed in, but having been to many Big Ten Championship games, I know that at least one hotel (JW Marriott) connects directly to the stadium. You don’t even need to go outdoors to access, just a sky bridge.

These games do not have in & out privileges. Once you leave, the only way to re enter would be by buying another ticket.

Without knowing when they purchased the hotel and/or their game tickets, the cost of the day (ticket, hotel, food & drink) would’ve likely been north of 1000 per person. Only adding that total as there was speculation above. Not a game you’d leave lightly.

I just looked it up online. Those tickets were going for an average of $1800 to $2500 and higher. Plus hotel, food, etc. Prices after the Mich game win skyrocketed.

 

[acutename]

Yes I think he was doing reconnaissance. Checking out the future crime scene, entrance, exit, parking, etc. Just as you outline. Also stalkers love to do surveillance. So high probability he was planting some devices, etc. You nailed it.

In terms of her blocking his number automatically: I understand that most people here are thinking like non abused women. Women who are not being stalked. Women who are not frightened.

Terrified women might not automatically block the stalker's phone, or refuse to respond. They may be afraid of escalating the situation, and making the abuser even more angry and revengeful. They may also want more information about what is going on and why is the abuser contacting her again. This is usually the case when kids are involved, maybe a new marriage she is trying to protect.

So what seems like a simple problem to everyone else, is not simple to a woman who is being stalked. Also an ex wife may not understand the danger, that her abusive ex is spiraling out of control and in worse shape than when they were married. She may think she can handle the situation.

We don't know all the details, but I am trying to help people understand what might have been going on with a woman who has an abusive ex husband starting to stalk her. Or has been stalking her for some time.

I just think if she got a call or text from him, she would get PSTD and get physically ill... It's been 9 yrs. I think it would take her back to how she felt throwing stuff in a Uhaul with her parents. obviously. I do not know- but he seems not to have attacked her for 9 yrs... not really sure about that of course.

 

[303gmf]

For those that like podcasts That Chapter covered this case.

He’s great! His Alex Murdaugh ones so well done

 

[Cassie P]

I just think if she got a call or text from him, she would get PSTD and get physically ill... It's been 9 yrs. I think it would take her back to how she felt throwing stuff in a Uhaul with her parents. obviously. I do not know- but he seems not to have attacked her for 9 yrs... not really sure about that of course.

We are just guessing here, because we don't know how MT reacted internally. I am just pointing out that it is a complex situation with no simple answers or explanations. Yes she may have a painful reaction but she also has young children and a husband to protect.

We can see how she handled the situation at the football game when something came up about her ex. She did not get dramatic or freak out. She quietly left to go to the hotel room to handle the situation and calm herself. She didn't make a scene or ask for help. She didn't interrupt an important sports event her husband and friends were enjoying.

 

[Knox]

 

[Cassie P]

I'm not sure if this will be useful here. But as a woman with a long time (decades) constantly active violent stalker it has been interesting to read the discussion here. Particularly about the swings between recognizing danger and being so exhausted by it you want to believe it is not real + the law and cops not really being structured at all to protect victims of stalking before more violence happens, and fearing that others think you are overreacting when your system, via trauma, responds to flags/triggers intensely. (Ie whatever occurred on December 6th.)

So much of my life always/now has to be structured on how to "stay safe." And that is exhausting and limiting and annoying. But not so long ago a larger situation occurred where I felt morally like I needed to speak out and be visible. It had zero to do with my stalker, but stalkers think everything you do has to do with them. Before I did it, I spoke to an expert in such situations/violence and she told me, more or less, "There is no perfect way you can act so as not to trigger your stalker to escalate. They are not rational. If you make every single decision about your life so as not to try to trigger them, you are only limiting yourself. And giving them that power over you doesn't actually keep you safe. There will never be a perfect way for you to act in order to ensure that your stalker does not escalate in violence."

I keep thinking about that internal math I do as I read this thread. And I hate that MT had to do this math too. There is no logic, there is no ideal perfect way to move or act that will keep you safe. A violent obsessed stalker does not operate within such logic. Nothing you do is responsible for the harm; but also, no matter how much you think about it, there is no perfect way to move to neutralize the harm.

Thank you for sharing TiKani. My heart goes out to you. I know it is not easy to discuss these issues.

Perhaps anyone in a stalking situation reading your comment will get professional support like you did. It makes a big difference, handling it alone is a nightmare.

Yes indeed each abused/stalked woman struggles with the internal cost benefit ratio. Wanting to speak out, to be free, to be her own person. With dignity and personhood. No longer a thing, object, punching bag. To get support, help, for people to believe what she is going through and to understand.

But then she must balance everything with reality. She has a job, career, kids, house, family, her life. If no one can protect her, is she willing to blow it up by triggering the stalker? The stakes were higher for MT. She had such young children, a fabulous husband, a perfect marriage. She must have wanted desperately to protect them and keep it all together and not escalate things? And yes the law cannot help a woman when a man is determined to terrorize her or worse.

 

[ttjo]

We have no idea which hotel they stayed in, but having been to many Big Ten Championship games, I know that at least one hotel (JW Marriott) connects directly to the stadium. You don’t even need to go outdoors to access, just a sky bridge.

These games do not have in & out privileges. Once you leave, the only way to re enter would be by buying another ticket.

Without knowing when they purchased the hotel and/or their game tickets, the cost of the day (ticket, hotel, food & drink) would’ve likely been north of 1000 per person. Only adding that total as there was speculation above. Not a game you’d leave lightly.

Wow. No in and out, and the price of the tickets!!! ok well that changes things.
She left knowing she couldn't return, it had to be something worth leaving for.