OH - Spencer and Monique Tepe found shot to death at home 2 children unharmed, Columbus, 30 December 2025 *ex-husband arrested*

[Cassie P]

If he was not actually planting some devices, he could have been checking on their alarm system, their Wifi signal, seeing where the windows were. He could also have scoped out the area- ways to approach, places to park, avenues of escape. Maybe once he was in the mid west again, he started snooping more online, asking mutual friends more questions, seeing the wedding video- maybe it all sort of "snow balled" from bad curiosity to a bigger obsession. We really do not know if he was there even earlier- checking their vehicles, snooping through their garbage? spying? I would think that some of Monique's closest friends would have known how she felt but maybe some less close people had no idea what had happened to her, so maybe he asked a lot of people questions, and until he approached some one who was really close, it did not get back to her. For all we know, maybe Monique thought he was still out west. (all speculation. my thought, since she ran away from him with her parents' help, she never spoke to him or contacted him. I would think if he got her phone # and called or texted, she would have blocked him and changed the # IMO)

Yes I think he was doing reconnaissance. Checking out the future crime scene, entrance, exit, parking, etc. Just as you outline. Also stalkers love to do surveillance. So high probability he was planting some devices, etc. You nailed it.

In terms of her blocking his number automatically: I understand that most people here are thinking like non abused women. Women who are not being stalked. Women who are not frightened.

Terrified women might not automatically block the stalker's phone, or refuse to respond. They may be afraid of escalating the situation, and making the abuser even more angry and revengeful. They may also want more information about what is going on and why is the abuser contacting her again. This is usually the case when kids are involved, maybe a new marriage she is trying to protect.

So what seems like a simple problem to everyone else, is not simple to a woman who is being stalked. Also an ex wife may not understand the danger, that her abusive ex is spiraling out of control and in worse shape than when they were married. She may think she can handle the situation.

We don't know all the details, but I am trying to help people understand what might have been going on with a woman who has an abusive ex husband starting to stalk her. Or has been stalking her for some time.

 

[Cassie P]

We have no idea which hotel they stayed in, but having been to many Big Ten Championship games, I know that at least one hotel (JW Marriott) connects directly to the stadium. You don’t even need to go outdoors to access, just a sky bridge.

These games do not have in & out privileges. Once you leave, the only way to re enter would be by buying another ticket.

Without knowing when they purchased the hotel and/or their game tickets, the cost of the day (ticket, hotel, food & drink) would’ve likely been north of 1000 per person. Only adding that total as there was speculation above. Not a game you’d leave lightly.

Yes thank you. This is what OSU fans are saying. You would not leave without very good reason, nor would you ask anyone else to leave it. Maybe if OSU was losing, but for this game at half time the score was a nail biter of 10-6 as I recall. This was the most important game of the season, or the second most important game I should say.

 

[Cassie P]

We have no idea which hotel they stayed in, but having been to many Big Ten Championship games, I know that at least one hotel (JW Marriott) connects directly to the stadium. You don’t even need to go outdoors to access, just a sky bridge.

These games do not have in & out privileges. Once you leave, the only way to re enter would be by buying another ticket.

Without knowing when they purchased the hotel and/or their game tickets, the cost of the day (ticket, hotel, food & drink) would’ve likely been north of 1000 per person. Only adding that total as there was speculation above. Not a game you’d leave lightly.

I just looked it up online. Those tickets were going for an average of $1800 to $2500 and higher. Plus hotel, food, etc. Prices after the Mich game win skyrocketed.

 

[acutename]

Yes I think he was doing reconnaissance. Checking out the future crime scene, entrance, exit, parking, etc. Just as you outline. Also stalkers love to do surveillance. So high probability he was planting some devices, etc. You nailed it.

In terms of her blocking his number automatically: I understand that most people here are thinking like non abused women. Women who are not being stalked. Women who are not frightened.

Terrified women might not automatically block the stalker's phone, or refuse to respond. They may be afraid of escalating the situation, and making the abuser even more angry and revengeful. They may also want more information about what is going on and why is the abuser contacting her again. This is usually the case when kids are involved, maybe a new marriage she is trying to protect.

So what seems like a simple problem to everyone else, is not simple to a woman who is being stalked. Also an ex wife may not understand the danger, that her abusive ex is spiraling out of control and in worse shape than when they were married. She may think she can handle the situation.

We don't know all the details, but I am trying to help people understand what might have been going on with a woman who has an abusive ex husband starting to stalk her. Or has been stalking her for some time.

I just think if she got a call or text from him, she would get PSTD and get physically ill... It's been 9 yrs. I think it would take her back to how she felt throwing stuff in a Uhaul with her parents. obviously. I do not know- but he seems not to have attacked her for 9 yrs... not really sure about that of course.

 

[303gmf]

For those that like podcasts That Chapter covered this case.

He’s great! His Alex Murdaugh ones so well done

 

[Cassie P]

I just think if she got a call or text from him, she would get PSTD and get physically ill... It's been 9 yrs. I think it would take her back to how she felt throwing stuff in a Uhaul with her parents. obviously. I do not know- but he seems not to have attacked her for 9 yrs... not really sure about that of course.

We are just guessing here, because we don't know how MT reacted internally. I am just pointing out that it is a complex situation with no simple answers or explanations. Yes she may have a painful reaction but she also has young children and a husband to protect.

We can see how she handled the situation at the football game when something came up about her ex. She did not get dramatic or freak out. She quietly left to go to the hotel room to handle the situation and calm herself. She didn't make a scene or ask for help. She didn't interrupt an important sports event her husband and friends were enjoying.

 

[Knox]

 

[Cassie P]

I'm not sure if this will be useful here. But as a woman with a long time (decades) constantly active violent stalker it has been interesting to read the discussion here. Particularly about the swings between recognizing danger and being so exhausted by it you want to believe it is not real + the law and cops not really being structured at all to protect victims of stalking before more violence happens, and fearing that others think you are overreacting when your system, via trauma, responds to flags/triggers intensely. (Ie whatever occurred on December 6th.)

So much of my life always/now has to be structured on how to "stay safe." And that is exhausting and limiting and annoying. But not so long ago a larger situation occurred where I felt morally like I needed to speak out and be visible. It had zero to do with my stalker, but stalkers think everything you do has to do with them. Before I did it, I spoke to an expert in such situations/violence and she told me, more or less, "There is no perfect way you can act so as not to trigger your stalker to escalate. They are not rational. If you make every single decision about your life so as not to try to trigger them, you are only limiting yourself. And giving them that power over you doesn't actually keep you safe. There will never be a perfect way for you to act in order to ensure that your stalker does not escalate in violence."

I keep thinking about that internal math I do as I read this thread. And I hate that MT had to do this math too. There is no logic, there is no ideal perfect way to move or act that will keep you safe. A violent obsessed stalker does not operate within such logic. Nothing you do is responsible for the harm; but also, no matter how much you think about it, there is no perfect way to move to neutralize the harm.

Thank you for sharing TiKani. My heart goes out to you. I know it is not easy to discuss these issues.

Perhaps anyone in a stalking situation reading your comment will get professional support like you did. It makes a big difference, handling it alone is a nightmare.

Yes indeed each abused/stalked woman struggles with the internal cost benefit ratio. Wanting to speak out, to be free, to be her own person. With dignity and personhood. No longer a thing, object, punching bag. To get support, help, for people to believe what she is going through and to understand.

But then she must balance everything with reality. She has a job, career, kids, house, family, her life. If no one can protect her, is she willing to blow it up by triggering the stalker? The stakes were higher for MT. She had such young children, a fabulous husband, a perfect marriage. She must have wanted desperately to protect them and keep it all together and not escalate things? And yes the law cannot help a woman when a man is determined to terrorize her or worse.

 

[ttjo]

We have no idea which hotel they stayed in, but having been to many Big Ten Championship games, I know that at least one hotel (JW Marriott) connects directly to the stadium. You don’t even need to go outdoors to access, just a sky bridge.

These games do not have in & out privileges. Once you leave, the only way to re enter would be by buying another ticket.

Without knowing when they purchased the hotel and/or their game tickets, the cost of the day (ticket, hotel, food & drink) would’ve likely been north of 1000 per person. Only adding that total as there was speculation above. Not a game you’d leave lightly.

Wow. No in and out, and the price of the tickets!!! ok well that changes things.
She left knowing she couldn't return, it had to be something worth leaving for.

 

[ssarahbg]

Right. But breaking into a home warrants a car to police,

I believe if there was a call to 911 about him, they would have locked that info down immediately from public view the moment he was a suspect. It may come out later on.

It’s hard to know whether she did call police or not. But there is the possibility she didn’t. Only because she may not have wanted to ruffle feathers further if she felt like nothing would come of it. 8 years, and as we know, he had not made aggressive physical contact since her divorce. Maybe she felt a false sense of safety from that.

I still believe the clerical error for court stirred something up in him.

 

[OhioGuy]

Wow. No in and out, and the price of the tickets!!! ok well that changes things.
She left knowing she couldn't return, it had to be something worth leaving for.

The prices can fluctuate pretty wildly year over year. This years demand was off the charts because 1) Indiana was having a once in a lifetime season and the game was in their state 2) OSU had not been in the game since 2020, one of the largest alumni & fan bases in the country and most of Ohio can drive there pretty easily.

If they bought the tickets earlier in the year, it’s possible they didn’t pay a ton. I’ve gone in the past and paid under 100 a ticket. A lot of people wait to finalize plans until they know their school has qualified for the game, so prices in the weeks leading up steadily climbed and went through the roof the week of. I figure hotel prices mirrored this.

Without knowing where they stayed it’s impossible to say, but to me it doesn’t sound like she was distraught and wandered out into the cold night since she seemingly left alone. Indianapolis is an incredibly walkable city, to the point they could’ve stayed where she didn’t even have to step ‘outside’ to get back to the room. Whatever upset her, it sounds like it wasn’t notable enough to cause any others in her party to accompany her out.

 

[sunspun]

I just think if she got a call or text from him, she would get PSTD and get physically ill... It's been 9 yrs. I think it would take her back to how she felt throwing stuff in a Uhaul with her parents. obviously. I do not know- but he seems not to have attacked her for 9 yrs... not really sure about that of course.

I know you said you're not sure about that last part, but I wonder if that is known one way or another? I don't know where I got the idea, but I had the impression that he had been stalking her in some way the whole time since their divorce!

If not, and this was the first contact they'd had over all those years, what a shock that must have been. Even more traumatic than I'd been thinking.

Has anyone read confirmation of whether this man had been a problem in her life before now?

 

[Cassie P]

Wow. No in and out, and the price of the tickets!!! ok well that changes things.
She left knowing she couldn't return, it had to be something worth leaving for.

Yes and it explains why she would give enough info to explain why she left, but at the same time keep it low key so that others would not leave the game to go with her.

It is difficult for people to understand the OSU football mentality. The joke is that football is the official Columbus religion, but it is not really a joke.

One of my friends years ago had the audacity to have her first baby on the same day as the Ohio State/Michigan game. Her husband had tickets to the game so he stopped by to see her quickly and then went on to the game. Even though the baby was born at the OSU medical center and the game was on all the TVs in the entire hospital.

The point about this story is that my friend understood completely, didn't balk at it, and no one else did either. The sympathy was with the husband!

Women know not to plan a wedding on the OSU/Michigan game because no male will attend the wedding, including the groom. Or they will be watching the game during the wedding in a room next door.

So we know that for MT to leave the game was serious. And she must have downplayed it so as not to upset her friends and ST during an important event.

 

[Cassie P]

Driving an hour or more to work in Ohio is not super uncommon. I can’t speak to why he chose to work in Athens, but I can speak to why he chose to live in Columbus. There are no major cities that even come close to rivaling Columbus near Athens- they likely wanted to live in an area that was both urban and central, providing them with numerous opportunities and options (socially, educationally, for work, etc). In addition to that, once he left his neighborhood and got on the highway, it’s nearly a straight shot from his house to the dental office he worked in. While not necessarily fun on some winter days, those days are few and the highways get plowed/salted first.

-Ohio State University located in Columbus has a large dental school producing many dentists, so perhaps a young dentist has a lot of competition for Columbus jobs.

-Also someone here mentioned he could have had a non compete clause from a prior employer meaning he would have to work out of the area for a certain amount of time.

-Yes some people prefer the sophisticated city living Columbus provides. It is not uncommon for university professors/faculty who work at Ohio University in Athens to live in Columbus. Small town Athens is not their thing.

 

[Serononin]

I'm not sure if this will be useful here. But as a woman with a long time (decades) constantly active violent stalker it has been interesting to read the discussion here. Particularly about the swings between recognizing danger and being so exhausted by it you want to believe it is not real + the law and cops not really being structured at all to protect victims of stalking before more violence happens, and fearing that others think you are overreacting when your system, via trauma, responds to flags/triggers intensely. (Ie whatever occurred on December 6th.)

So much of my life always/now has to be structured on how to "stay safe." And that is exhausting and limiting and annoying. But not so long ago a larger situation occurred where I felt morally like I needed to speak out and be visible. It had zero to do with my stalker, but stalkers think everything you do has to do with them. Before I did it, I spoke to an expert in such situations/violence and she told me, more or less, "There is no perfect way you can act so as not to trigger your stalker to escalate. They are not rational. If you make every single decision about your life so as not to try to trigger them, you are only limiting yourself. And giving them that power over you doesn't actually keep you safe. There will never be a perfect way for you to act in order to ensure that your stalker does not escalate in violence."

I keep thinking about that internal math I do as I read this thread. And I hate that MT had to do this math too. There is no logic, there is no ideal perfect way to move or act that will keep you safe. A violent obsessed stalker does not operate within such logic. Nothing you do is responsible for the harm; but also, no matter how much you think about it, there is no perfect way to move to neutralize the harm.

I'm sorry for what you're going through, but grateful for your insight

 

[Serononin]

Yes and it explains why she would give enough info to explain why she left, but at the same time keep it low key so that others would not leave the game to go with her.

It is difficult for people to understand the OSU football mentality. The joke is that football is the official Columbus religion, but it is not really a joke.

One of my friends years ago had the audacity to have her first baby on the same day as the Ohio State/Michigan game. Her husband had tickets to the game so he stopped by to see her quickly and then went on to the game. Even though the baby was born at the OSU medical center and the game was on all the TVs in the entire hospital.

The point about this story is that my friend understood completely, didn't balk at it, and no one else did either. The sympathy was with the husband!

Women know not to plan a wedding on the OSU/Michigan game because no male will attend the wedding, including the groom. Or they will be watching the game during the wedding in a room next door.

So we know that for MT to leave the game was serious. And she must have downplayed it so as not to upset her friends and ST during an important event.

BBM

On the other hand, a wedding/game watch party does sound like a good time lol

 

[academyrd]

Another person familiar with OSU football stated that it is highly unlikely that fans would leave a championship game at half time. Especially when OSU was ahead at half time. And the band is fabulous. It is also not a cheap out of town weekend, the football tickets, hotel, dinner, etc.

So MT would not have left on a whim or for something minor. But it is unlikely she would ask someone else to go with her. By all accounts ST was a doting, attentive husband and would have gone with his wife in an emergency. So perhaps she did not want him to know how concerned she was. Which is typical of abused women. They are traumatized and habituated to violence and aggressive behavior. They try to keep the peace, keep things calm, down play it so things do not escalate. It is an age old survival tactic, especially when there are children involved.

Also women who have been abused or victims of a stalker can develop low self esteem. They don't feel they are worth inconveniencing others, or causing anyone any trouble.

Yeah I think it’s likely she minimized whatever she found out that day so that she could go on with her life. The fact that they went back to their house in Columbus and slept there for the next 3 weeks tells you they were able to move past it enough to have life go on with some sense of normalcy. I mean what can you do if you are Monique? You kind of have no options other than going into witness protection I suppose. Law enforcement wouldn’t have done anything if he hadn’t yet technically committed a crime.

 

[Cassie P]

BBM

On the other hand, a wedding/game watch party does sound like a good time lol

Exactly why women don't plan their wedding on the same day as the OSU/Mich game. I think this is one reason OSU decided to hold that game on the same date every year. So women in Columbus know when to plan their wedding and delivery dates.

 

[Cassie P]

Yeah I think it’s likely she minimized whatever she found out that day so that she could go on with her life. The fact that they went back to their house in Columbus and slept there for the next 3 weeks tells you they were able to move past it enough to have life go on with some sense of normalcy. I mean what can you do if you are Monique? You kind of have no options other than going into witness protection I suppose. Law enforcement wouldn’t have done anything if he hadn’t yet technically committed a crime.

Even if she knew there was danger, yes what were her options? The police cannot save her from a man obsessed with hurting her. A restraining order does not mean anything if a killer is determined.

We can see MM was clever about skirting the law, covering up. So MT may not have had enough to go to the police. Even if she had evidence that he broke into her home, are the police going to extradite him from Illinois? How long will it take? Even if he is arrested he gets an attorney and is out on bail. Etc etc.

MT had a family to think of. Her husband had to get to work each day. One child going to preschool perhaps. Another child, an infant needing a high level of care. She cannot just uproot them and go into hiding and disrupt their routines. And where does she go anyway? Moving from hotel to hotel? Not a good long term solution. Stay with her family and put them in danger as well? Disrupt their lives too. Not a good long term solution either.

Even if she could convince her husband to move away, he would have to go through a credentialing process in another state. And they would be away from MT's family, her support system. And MM would find her anyway.

Also it was the holidays, a lot going on. She may have thought, let's just get through the holidays. Not hit the panic button, give everyone a nice Christmas. I will deal with this in January.

Perhaps she may not have realized that time was of the essence, her ex was dramatically out of control due to career setbacks and possible drug abuse. So perhaps she minimized it due to lack of good up to date information.

I am a retired mental health professional. I am trying to explain the typical thought processes of women who are being abused/stalked, etc. And how they do not have a lot of good options.

Another member of this forum who has been abused and stalked, put it very well. The victim must also go through mental gymnastics and a cost benefit ratio on every decision.