I don't know if this matters or not but I am going to throw it out there. Many years ago my son passed away, I felt guilty, not because I did anything wrong but because I didn't do everything right. You see if I was a step mom and my son went missing, I would be so distraught that you couldn't hold me up straight, drag me out of bed or get me in the shower without a fight. I would naturally question...maybe I should of taken him all the way in, maybe I should of kissed him on the forhead this morning and reminded him of xyz. What I am saying is this, step mom or birth mom...I would feel so bad, scared and guilty because I should of ...could of... I believe it is natural. I understand that people are different ect. but I can promise you that I wouldn't be doing anything fun or "normal" day stuff if my step son was missing (p.s. God has blessed me with a step son) I would be out looking for him no matter what anyone told me to do! JMHO because right at that time there is hope he is still alive.