Poll: My Experience with Bullying

[angelmom]

married to the father of BOTH of my children

What a concept!!!

:rotfl:


Sorry. That just struck me as SOOOO funny!

 

[burbqueen]

wow, this is like group therapy!!

Ok hello, i'm burbqueen and i was buillied as a kid. Not to the extend of some of you, but i was teased in jr. high. I was an overweight kid, shy, smart, nerdy. I am originally from Michigan and when I lived there I had plenty of friends and stuff. Most of the kids I grew up with I knew since kindergarten. I lived in a mostly black neighborhood and I didnt really fit in. I was a quite nerdy black girl! So mostly I avoided the haters.

Then we moved to Texas when I was 13. I didnt know anyone and I am very shy. It took a while, but I made friends. Then we moved to another city in Texas and this place was very cliquish and people werent so friendly.

My self esteem as a kid was effected by the teasing. By the time I was 16, I was looking for attention in the wrong areas. I joined a gang, wore short tight clothing, dated waaay older men and went wild. I just felt bad about myself and needed attention, power, control. I've dated criminals of all sorts.

I am nothing like my teenage self. Now I don't give a carp and wouldnt dare be bullied today. I look, feel and act different. However, I don't have many regrets. I've lived 6 life times in probably 10 years. I use my experience to help guide others. I am confident and balanced for once.

 

[WaddupYo]

What a concept!!!

:rotfl:


Sorry. That just struck me as SOOOO funny!

I didn't mean to offend anyone with that. I just noticed that a lot of these losers in the media who harm their children and a bunch of the losers I went to school with have multiple kids by multiple dads and aren't married to the dads.

 

[foryourwine]

I was bullied in my childhood after moving to a new neighborhood, at around 12 years old. Groups of neighborhood girls would shout names at me and tease me as I rode my bike around the block. One day as I was riding by one of the girls threw some grass at me. After that I don't remember much because of the adrenaline, but I sucker punched her in the nose. There was blood everywhere, her screaming and crying while her friends watched in horror. I hopped on my bike and sped away home. Her mom ended up knocking at my house. My dad explained that they had been teasing me, they got what was coming to them, and it would happen again if they didn't leave me alone. Then closed the door in her face.

I don't condone violence usually, but sometimes there's no other way to get through to a bully but to make THEM feel it and show you won't take it anymore. They never said a word to me after that, wouldn't even look me in the eye. :innocent:

 

[concentric]

From around 5th grade to 8th grade, which was elementary school back then, I was bullied by a gang of girls. It was a small town school.

The leader (whose mother was a teacher at the same school), kept a calendar, which I was shown on one occassion, probably as another tool of intimidation. It was very detailed in that it listed the days a certain girl was "marked" to be outcast and shunned. The shunning term would be approximately 1 week, during which time, that person would be subjected to humiliation.

Because I was one of those students who was never "in" and always reviled, it was during that 1 week time frame that I had someone to play with at recess, because the outcast child would be kind to me.

After the 1 week was up, however, the outcast was accepted back into the group and any friendship that had been offered to me was retracted and denied. Afterward, if I attempted to continue the friendship, more hostility would be leveled at me.

 

[AmandaBrown23]

I hated to admit that I was a bully as a child. It wasn't chronic, so I don't know if that's what you mean, but I definitely went through a phase in about 6th grade where I was mean to a girl who was one of my good friends. I think it is interesting that I was neither popular nor cool, and was being bullied and harassed myself. Was I taking it out on her? Was I just a mean kid? Why did I stop/never bully anyone else?

To this day I can remember a really mean note I wrote to her. I am mortified by it. I remember when her mom showed it to my mom, and how ashamed I was and humiliated to be that kid.

It was worse than actually being bullied. I had great parents, thank God, or who knows how I would have turned out.

I did the same thing. I was bullied so bad in the 5th grade i was constantly depressed. When I got to 6th grade the one friend I started out with I started being horrible to. I was pretty much a bullier in most of middle school and I think its the only way I felt I could control others from bullying me. I hate that I was like that and I have apologized to the people I treated so bad. After middle school I was not like that anymore.

 

[concentric]

I changed my post to say that I was bullied to the greatest extent during the time period of 5th-8th grade. Pre-adolescence and adolescence I believe is the peak time for this behavior to exhibit itself, obviously.

On reflection, since I was a girl, boys in the same grade level or higher were regarded as "the property" of the most powerful girls. Although they switched "going steady" and "make out" partners frequently, there was still an unspoken rule of fidelity to the group of girls in power.
---------------

I fell "in love" with a boy who was a year younger than me, thus, no competition. However, once he transferred to a high school in another district, I was rejected, and replaced.

 

[LinasK]

I changed my post to say that I was bullied to the greatest extent during the time period of 5th-8th grade. Pre-adolescence and adolescence I believe is the peak time for this behavior to exhibit itself, obviously.

On reflection, since I was a girl, boys in the same grade level or higher were regarded as "the property" of the most powerful girls. Although they switched "going steady" and "make out" partners frequently, there was still an unspoken rule of fidelity to the group of girls in power.
---------------

I fell "in love" with a boy who was a year younger than me, thus, no competition. However, once he transferred to a high school in another district, I was rejected, and replaced.

For me, it was already starting in 4th grade (suddenly the boys didn't have the Cooties of the 3rd grade!). It started with the boys, then spread to the popular girls, who wanted to support the boys. Pretty soon, noone would openly be my friend. My friends were afraid of getting picked on, so I had noone to talk to and I got called alot of horrible names, one in particular and treated very meanly. When I got pushed into the fight, I defended myself the only way I knew how- I dug my nails into this girl so hard I drew blood. I gained some respect that day, but I was ashamed and scared of retribution, so I ran away and hide around the school for the rest of the day.

 

[concentric]

What happened after that day?

 

[LadyL]

multiple choice? does that fall under 'other'?

I could click several

 

[LinasK]

What happened after that day?

I don't remember, but it really didn't end until 7th grade, when we got to Jr. High, all of a sudden the big shot 6th graders were now nobodies- 7th grade scrubs (who got tossed in trash cans), and we were mixed in with kids from 3 other schools.
My mom also encouraged one of my friends from Kindergarten to be friends with me, and she just lived the other side of my Jr. High, so then I had a best friend.

 

[rpipergirl]

I was bullied terribly. I was beat up by boys and picked on non stop. I used to come home from school crying every day. One day two boys beat me up again and 1 said,"let's strip her and watch her * herself." I did not understand that and was terrified. I was only in 5th grade and he was in 6th. I never forgot those words. Words hurt more and last longer than a punch ever could. Teachers condone picking on certain kids if they don't like the kid. That was the case with me. Or you'll be told to stand by the teachers at recess ,but, they don't want you too so they can gossip. I had no self esteen whatsoever.

 

[foryourwine]

I am so sorry rpipergirl. :hug: I remember being being the outcast at school and the teachers ignoring the teasing and bullying. Whenever I start feeling bad remembering all those years..I think of how horrible the bully's own life must be, to treat other people that way. I guess alot of it stems from their problems at home, and learning or being bullied by parents/siblings. It's really hard to forgive someone when you know they aren't sorry..i'm still working on it.

 

[concentric]

I still feel ashamed by bullying and hesistant to talk about it.

In addition to the day-to-day bullying from 7th to 8th grades, there was a boy who was taller and bigger than the others who "liked" me. He wanted me to be his girlfriend. He even sent his best friends to pressure me to comply. I was really afraid of him. When I refused, he decided to get revenge on me. He threw a huge winter party at his house with sledding, etc. and invited every single student in the 7th and 8th grades, even those who he never would have spoken to before.

He invited everyone, but one person: me

He brought photos to school of himself and the "popular" girls sandwiched together on the sleds and made sure that everyone knew I was the only one not invited.

 

[concentric]

When asked who was the most influential person in your life, I will always say: my fourth grade teacher. She was the only person ever who had any integrity and tried to protect those children who she saw being abused by bullies.

 

[danisisa]

I was a bully my whole life, but a bully to the bullys'. I could not handle anyone being treated badly or hurt. I was nice to everyone until they picked on someone and then came the wrath. I would stop if they stopped and then knew why I did it. In High School, I was sent to the office many times..It did not bother me because I was defending those being picked on. The preps, jocks, and cheerleaders were the worst about it, but they were so scared of me that they did not mess with people as much once I started going to that school. I had no fear and felt I was doing the right thing because the teachers did nothing about it.

 

[Snick1946]

I was bullied constantly in High School. I was overweight and a quiet kid who liked to read and the kids who picked on me were the 'jocks.' As others have narrated, they were the popular kids and had the tacit approval and protection of the school authorities and teachers. It was all very sick. Most of the abuse centered about sexual orientation. I am not gay but that's how I was labeled and was taunted constantly. I was glad when I left school. Those people stole what should have been a happy time in my life.
A few years ago I sought out some of these people on line, not personally but just to see if I could see what became of them. I found two, one of which was the ringleader. He is my age, early 60's, and is apparently working as a day laborer. Both appear to have had several marriages, well you get the picture.
In the end, I won. I had a successful employment situation, married and have a nice loving family. It all goes around; its karma in the same life.

 

[danisisa]

Come to think of it, I still defend people being bullied. I had purchased something from Walmart that had to be brought to the front of the store from the back. There was a young worker waiting next to to me along with my husband. Once the worker who was bringing the product up got to us, the worker that stayed with me started in on him. He was talking down to him like he was an idiot. I got pissed and went off on the worker about how I am the customer and I do not appreciated the comments that he is making to the other worker and that I and the worker do not have to put up with it. I said a few other choice things and made the mean worker apologize to the other one. My husband sat there in with his jaw open being the introvert that he is...But, my hubby was proud of his fiest wifey!!

 

[txsvicki]

I've never been a bully or been bullied at school and none of my kids or grandkids except for maybe one incident with teen girls that was quickly over and done with. I've been threatened by a cop who didn't want to deal with my complaints about someone he supervised, but that's probably a whole other category.

 

[LinasK]

When asked who was the most influential person in your life, I will always say: my fourth grade teacher. She was the only person ever who had any integrity and tried to protect those children who she saw being abused by bullies.

For me it was my 6th and 8th grade teachers (although the 6th grade teacher wasn't aware of the bullying- because it took place mostly during recess and lunch when there were no adults supervising). Two male teachers who felt girls had a right to be equally as empowered in science as the boys! The main reason I have some self-esteem is because of these two teachers who believed in me and encouraged me when few others did. Thank-you Mr. Y. and Mr. Squatrito!!!:clap::clap::clap: