According to Romeos Bleeding by Roger Melton, M.A., there are three distinct phases of being in a relationship with someone who is afflicted with Borderline Personality Disorder:
The Vulnerable Seducer Phase: This phase depicts the person with Borderline Personality Disorder as a victim of love. They will use their previous experiences to denote a feeling or desire to be saved, noting how you are the only one who understands them. Youre special because you really know them, and this can feed into your empathy and your ego. The person with BPD can make you feel loved, needed, wanted, and elated because they want your attention, but also want to make you the center of their world. Things move at a whirlwind pace, almost too quickly, and you might find yourself in an intense relationship before youre even ready.
The Clinger Phase: As the person with Borderline Personality Disorder becomes more attached to you, you will notice changes over time. They may seem small at first, but they will slowly become apparent. Sure, your partner will be interested in you, but may no longer be interested in what youre interested in. Theyll use physical and emotional ailments to keep your focus entirely on them, and their mood can start to swing suddenly, from euphoric highs to depth-defying lows. Theyll still think you can save them though, and use this to keep an emotional tether to you, putting their entire emotional and physical well-being in your hands.
The Hater Phase: This is the last of Meltons phases, and the most caustic one. During the first two phases, the hater wont appear much as the person with Borderline Personality Disorder tries to maintain their best behavior. But as your relationship continues, youll notice the smallest thing will set them off a look, a word, a touch. Their mood swings will become even more extreme and noticeable now, and all of their pain and suffering will be blamed on you, once again feeding the victim mentality.