bbm~ So with Ron knowing that, what I would like to know is this:
(1) Do those here who support and believe Ron is such a responsible father really believe that Ron has done right by Jordan?
(2) Does Ron not owe it to that baby boy to find out if he is the father?
(3) Does it not tell you anything about his character that he has not bothered to lift a finger to find out.
(4) Would a responsible father care whether Amber wanted him in Jordans life or not? She can't stop him from finding out IF he really wants to know.
(5) Would a responsible devoted father not move Heaven and Earth to find out whether or not a child, a baby boy that did not ask to be born was his? Especially when we have all heard him say that he may be.
(4) Would a responsible father have no participation in his sons life?
(5) Does it not make you question his priorities in life at the very least?
Respectfully snipped...
I'm going to answer your question because I have had a very personal experience with a situation just like this. My brother was awarded custody of my niece and nephew from their mother when they were 5 and 2. That situation is very very similar to that of Ron and Crystal's with the exception being that their mother was not a drug abuser. My brother worked his a$$ off over the years to provide the very best for the children with both mine and my mother's help. He was briefly involved in a relationship with another woman who subsequently became pregnant. She said that the child was his but didn't want a paternity test nor did she want any support for him. He never was fully convinced that he was the child's father and had questions about her faithfulness during their relationship. He also knew that the mother did not want him involved and that she wanted to raise the child as her own so he didn't try to find out. DNA tests are very expensive and he didn't have the money to pay for it. That being said, my brother is an excellent man of wonderful character and a wonderful father to his children. His children are now 29 and 23, both college graduates with excellent careers and children of their own. This child is now 18 years old and has no desire to find out if my brother is her father. Maybe she will as she grows older but my brother respected the wishes of the child's mother and stayed away. So in response to your questions, if Amber has been insistent that Ronald not be involved in Jordan's life, then he is honoring her wishes. Maybe he suspects that Jordan is not his child and would you honestly expect him to invest the time and the money into providing for this child who might turn out not to be his? I would have hated to know that my brother paid support and became emotionally attached to a child only to find out by DNA testing that the child wasn't his after all.
This may or may not be relevant to the case of who is raising Jordan right now because I know nothing at all about these people nor do I care to know anything about these people but in the state of Florida if there is any sort of assistance (such as food stamps, TANF, WIC, medicaid, etc.) provided to the person caring for a child by the state of Florida, then DCF will order a DNA test and they will forward the case to the Florida Department of Child Support Enforcement. Be sure that the state of Florida will enforce the orders and you will abide by them else you will be held in contempt of court.
Thank you for your reply Adrienne! I have some personal experience with this also. My wonderful Son In Law is 35 y/o and up until 2 years ago he always believed that the man who raised him and that he loves and always tried to make proud was his biological father..had no reason to doubt it until he came across a photo of his Mom and he as a toddler. She was in a wedding dress with him standing beside her. When he first found the pic he kind of joked about it and asked his Grandmother (the mom of the man who raised him as his own, this 'Dad' had passed away about 8 yrs ago) if his Mom was pregnant with him when his parents got married, as that is what he thought they must have been trying to keep secret. His Grandmother told him that he needed to talk to his Mom about this and
the way that she answered alarmed him, so he asked.."my Dad IS my Dad isn't he?" To make a long story shorter :crazy: it turns out that NO, he is/was NOT his biological father and that fact had been kept from him although the Whole Family knew. He was devastated because (1) his 'father' that raised him was now dead and (2) his biological 'father' he was told 'was not sure' that he was his and never bothered to find out.
This man still lives in this area..has another son about 10 yrs or so younger. (my SIL's only brother) My SIL does not want to know him (not that this man has ever tried to seek him out anyway) because he said that he never cared enough to find out if he was his and the toll that it has taken on him is tremendous. My heart breaks for him as he is a great guy, husband, father and has accomplished much in life and I am proud to be his MIL, although he is like a son to me. There is no doubt that this man is his bio-father as he is a musician that ironically my sister has known for many years and when she brought out photos of him from over the years for my SIL to see it was shocking to see that they are almost carbon copies of each other.
I guess I am just of the firm belief that IF there is any possibility that someone could be the father of a child, they OWE it to that child to find out, that they have a moral responsibility to do so. It's not a babys responsibility to find out who their parents are, they didn't ask to be here.
RE bbm above~ While I agree with you that Ron, your brother or anyone else should not have to become financially or emotionally invested in a child that is not theirs and that DNA testing is expensive, as a RESPONSIBLE adult, you have a duty to find that out because the flip side of that is....what if they are??? What price do you put on that, or finding that out? Every child deserves at least that, no? None of this chit is their fault, it is up to the Responsible or Irresponsible whichever the case may be to find that out. Not the child, not the State (what responsible parent waits for the state to force the issue anyway?) not the responsible or irresponsible mother really (only because she knows that she is the mother!) to find out. If you play, you pay IMHO (and I don't necessarily mean money just to be clear) OR make d@mn sure that you don't find yourself in that position. An innocent child shouldn't have to suffer the consequences of parents who chose otherwise. I'm sorry but I will ALWAYS come down on the side of the child and will not make excuses for the adults involved for any of their perceived reasons for not being proactive when they are well aware that a child
could be theirs. (not speaking of cases where a father has no idea that he may even have a child, in that case...shame on the mom...
shew...getting off my soapbox now...didn't mean to be so longwinded!
