SIDEBAR #17- Arias/Alexander forum

[neesaki]

I'm good - not to worry! Thanks, N. :rockon:

Great, Daisy ! :seeya:

 

[neesaki]

Ok, in spite of my DH being out of town, I still have to go clean up my kitchen. Back in a bit. :seeya:

 

[PrincessSezMe]

Actually, I think you're right. So I withdraw my earlier comment that we all knew she was a "nymphomaniac". What she really was, was a faux nymphomaniac. Also known as a "con". jmo

I agree neesaki. She conned them with sex to get what she thought she wanted. She sounds sooooo fake in that phone sex tape. I could probably hear better calling one of those 1-800 numbers :floorlaugh:

 

[daisymae]

I'm curious now, what is it with your driveway? Ok, just indulge me, lol.

My life must be very boring as pressure washing the driveway is the hot topic. LOL Well, the HOA sent everybody an email telling us we are to focus on our driveways this month and even included photos of a clean and dirty driveway, so I've just finished doing mine :floorlaugh:

 

[gcharlie]

I don't know how old you are, but when I was growing up, we never talked about sex in our house. Since my parents were from Italy, it was a taboo subject and if a girl wasn't a "virgin" when she got married she was "broken" and was considered almost on the same level as a prostitute. Why my mother didn't allow me or my sisters to use tampons as it would "break" us (if you know what I mean). :blushing:
I spoke to both my sons about sex when they were young and tried to stress the love part of sex. And about taking care of the things you love- so important in life, IMO. Sex is not dirty- only if you treat it that way.

I'm old enough to get a senior discount at Dennys! Don't think I've ever eaten there.

Family legend has it that my grandmother, who was raised in Victorian England, never got the talk about the birds and bees. My grandfather took a boat back to England after WWI and married that cute RAF nurse; the story has it that she was very surprised on her wedding night. Sometime later her figure was changing and she had to be told that it was because she was pregnant! My mother had a way of embellishing stories, so I don't know how much of this was true.

I was raised much like you. I got the birds and bees talk and the save-yourself-for-marriage talk and that was about it. As a teenager, I had no curiosity about sex and definitely no urges. I remember when I was a sophomore in high school going out parking with a guy who was trying to pet. My reaction to him trying to get down my pants was thinking that he would be really grossed out if I tried to do the same thing to him! Oy vey!:floorlaugh: I am so glad that I did not do it, as I would not have known how to handle what might have happened.

Gotta say that I kind of fault my mother on this one. She may not have realized how naive I was.

From this I learned that it was very important to talk more openly with my son and offer him age appropriate information about sex. When he was old enough to be sexually active, I did talk about curiosity, sex drives and peer pressure.

 

[YESorNO]

Talking about lawyers and funnies and such:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:
"Now doctor, isn't it true, that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
==================================================================
"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
==================================================================
"Were you present when your picture was taken?"
==================================================================
"Were you alone or by yourself?"
==================================================================
"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
==================================================================
"Did he kill you?"
===========================================================================
"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
==================================================================
"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
==================================================================
"How many times have you committed suicide?"
==================================================================
Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"
==================================================================
Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"
==================================================================
Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
==================================================================
Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"
==================================================================
Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
==================================================================
Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male or female?"
==================================================================
Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."
==================================================================
Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
==================================================================
Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."
==================================================================
Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."
==============================================================================
Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."
==================================================================
Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood."
==================================================================
Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
==================================================================
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
==================================================================
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
==================================================================
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
==================================================================
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
==================================================================
Q: Where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
==================================================================
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
==================================================================
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
==================================================================
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
________________________________________________________________________
The Washington Post's Style Invitational...

...asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2003 winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself
for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an .
__________________________________________________________________________

 

[YESorNO]

My life must be very boring as pressure washing the driveway is the hot topic. LOL Well, the HOA sent everybody an email telling us we are to focus on our driveways this month and even included photos of a clean and dirty driveway, so I've just finished doing mine :floorlaugh:

Where the heck do you live?? :scared:
Are you just kidding about the photos?

 

[neesaki]

Talking about lawyers and funnies and such:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:
"Now doctor, isn't it true, that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
==================================================================
"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
==================================================================
"Were you present when your picture was taken?"
==================================================================
"Were you alone or by yourself?"
==================================================================
"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
==================================================================
"Did he kill you?"
===========================================================================
"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
==================================================================
"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
==================================================================
"How many times have you committed suicide?"
==================================================================
Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"
==================================================================
Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"
==================================================================
Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
==================================================================
Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"
==================================================================
Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
==================================================================
Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male or female?"
==================================================================
Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."
==================================================================
Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
==================================================================
Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."
==================================================================
Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."
==============================================================================
Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."
==================================================================
Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood."
==================================================================
Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
==================================================================
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
==================================================================
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
==================================================================
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
==================================================================
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
==================================================================
Q: Where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
==================================================================
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
==================================================================
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
==================================================================
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
________________________________________________________________________
The Washington Post's Style Invitational...

...asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2003 winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself
for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an .
__________________________________________________________________________

YorN, where do you get this stuff? It's hilarious :floorlaugh::floorlaugh::floorlaugh:

 

[PrincessSezMe]

Where the heck do you live?? :scared:
Are you just kidding about the photos?

And what the heck is a HOA? I tried to guess, but can't post any of the things I came up with :floorlaugh:

 

[neesaki]

My life must be very boring as pressure washing the driveway is the hot topic. LOL Well, the HOA sent everybody an email telling us we are to focus on our driveways this month and even included photos of a clean and dirty driveway, so I've just finished doing mine :floorlaugh:

Oh, I don't know daisy, there is another alternative to consider: maybe it's my life that is very boring :floorlaugh:

 

[daisymae]

Where the heck do you live?? :scared:
Are you just kidding about the photos?

Not kidding!! Live in a nice neighborhood with RULES! :floorlaugh:

 

[YESorNO]

YorN, where do you get this stuff? It's hilarious :floorlaugh::floorlaugh::floorlaugh:

My 83 year old friend from PA- she's always emailing funnies to me. I have so many in my inbox right now and sometimes do a clean-up, but post here before I do, so we all can enjoy them.
:floorlaugh:

 

[daisymae]

Oh, I don't know daisy, there is another alternative to consider: maybe it's my life that is very boring :floorlaugh:

perhaps all of our lives are boring as we come here nightly to spruce things up! This is my social life. :floorlaugh:

 

[daisymae]

My 83 year old friend from PA- she's always emailing funnies to me. I have so many in my inbox right now and sometimes do a clean-up, but post here before I do, so we all can enjoy them.
:floorlaugh:

I luv your funnies :floorlaugh:

 

[neesaki]

perhaps all of our lives are boring as we come here nightly to spruce things up! This is my social life. :floorlaugh:

Tell me about it, right here with ya! :floorlaugh:

 

[PrincessSezMe]

perhaps all of our lives are boring as we come here nightly to spruce things up! This is my social life. :floorlaugh:

Me too! :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh:

And I never find it boring when everyone's here.

 

[Nore]

You're mother sounds just like mine, YorN. She never even told me about that monthly curse that girls get. It seriously freaked me out, I didn't know what was going on. Can't you imagine? It was my older sister and cousin who had to help me. Seriously.

And, she used to think that tampons were bad like that too. Thankfully, my big sister got her in line, at least I suspect that's what happened, lol.

----------
This would be my mother too. My girlfriends told me about the period, was not quite 13 when I got it. I had a boyfriend at 14, we were very close but not that close. We were more grown up than kids our age.Kissed but that was it. All my mother told me was "stay away from their hanging gardens of Babiylon" (sp) honest to God. she never told me where the gardens were..haha I already knew! I still think of him and wonder how he is, he's alive but so is his wife.:floorlaugh:

 

[YESorNO]

perhaps all of our lives are boring as we come here nightly to spruce things up! This is my social life. :floorlaugh:

I don't think my life is boring. I'm doing what I like and I like all of you. :blushing: I'm happy to spend this time with you all every night. It's fun and spices up my life. :rockon:

 

[daisymae]

Tell me about it, right here with ya! :floorlaugh:

It's great here, sometimes we're funny or sad or a bit lost but we get along so well and look out after each other, mother the young ones and are interested in just about everybody. It's cozy and comfortable.

 

[daisymae]

I don't think my life is boring. I'm doing what I like and I like all of you. :blushing: I'm happy to spend this time with you all every night. It's fun and spices up my life. :rockon:

That's what I mean. :rockon: