SIDEBAR #19- Arias/Alexander forum

[21merc7]

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I went to public school, I wasnt clear on that. No one told me I was pure. No one abides by all the rules, they wouldnt be human if they did. I know that now. Sometimes I honestly think we have hell on earth. Jesus told the thieves " today you will be with me in Paradise." Oh I did go to Lutheran school for awhile. :seeya:

Hell is on earth, I agree.

We are all insignificant, except to those that are touched by us.

Really better that way, as you are loved, not so much respite and hate as any public figures have.


We make life what we want is my new older learning. I can be happy, or I can be as I was taught and be unhappy. I will always see the negative first, but I will have moments of realizing it is a choice. (Not every day, because some days I am not clear, but I will fight it when I remember. :floorlaugh

Think about being a president. It must be hard, nothing but complaints, nothing but arguing, even if you see further ahead, even if you do not. Nothing is good enough.

Sometimes I settle for "I suck, I have sucked, but, I am still doing the best I can with what I know, and the tools available to me."

 

[neesaki]

My doctor gave me b-12 shots in 1974 when it seemed like nothing was waking me up after my mother died of a sudden heart attack a few weeks after her forty fourth birthday. I also tried Ritalin and prescription prenatal vitamins and had no luck. I slept, woke up and slept some more. About the only thing that did work was getting pregnant (not recommended for everyone) and taking care of my daughter and then a son. My kids laugh about me being an earth mother, I washed diapers, made their baby food, and didn't have white sugar until my sister gave my daughter an Oreo when she was three. She looked at me like I was holding out the good stuff.

Anyway, I was doing OK until my major stress of having a grandson a month after my father died and in a constant state of tension, and I've been fighting it since. So after eighteen years I have been taking Lamictal and my Dr. added SeraquelXR about two years ago and it seems to work.

I still have days I want to sleep because it's the easiest, and have to make myself get up and stay up by noon most days. Last year I took prescription strength V - D because my levels were very low, and now take 2000 units daily. It seems to help, but opening my curtains and blinds help also. I know mine is a mindset at times and I am the only one that can change it. I take a super multi vitamin, extra B complex, vitamin B6, vitamin D and E every day.

Finding Websleuths has help fill many a night of sleeplessness and tossing and turning.

Bless you, how traumatic to lose your mother that way.:hug:

Anyway, your post reminded me of when my depression really hit, it was when my son went off to college. I really knew that, guess I was thinking one should be over empty nest syndrome before 10 years is up, lol :facepalm: My problem was that my whole life and reason for living revolved around raising my son. We even homeschooled his high school years . Gave up my career, didn't really like it anyway, and gave up my dreams of changing careers when he was gone and out of the house, seemed too late to start over. So I had nothing left, my life was nothing. Then there are the dreaded hormones, or lack thereof, lol :scared: anyway, I know what you mean by days like that as I have had my share, and it's a terrible place to be.

Interesting thought on motherhood, what a tremendously enlightening, defining, and empowering experience. It seems that for you becoming a mother brought you out of depression . While for me, losing that part of my life brought depression to me. Motherhood, , Oh how I loved it.

Anyway, its great that you found something to work for you at least to some degree. If you have a good Dr. who will work with you that counts for a lot too. So hang in there with me...

Yes WS friends, we must all hang in there, together: :seeya:

 

[21merc7]

Youtube commercial alert:

Sister Sledge - We are Family (1979) - YouTube

 

[21merc7]

IN my boring tirade, may all remember that being insignificant to yourself is automatic destruction and bad relations all around. I can attest to that!

Realizing that we all are significant, even if only to our friends, or what relations we may have in our lives is difficult. It means looking for all the little things, even is we have the dream of white picket fence and hubby, wife, children, 1950's America wipe it all clean from WWII. (Is not going to happen again, just sayin'. Although I expect that life, my parents had it, not going to happen for any other generations if you look around.)

Now look at what happens when you go ahead, only wanting significance, only about you, your ego, your beliefs taught or self, your image. A long held Buddhist (and really Christian if you compare) belief, came true: (Go back to Hinduism, oldest, and see their predictions of what would be.)

History of nuclear weapons - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[YESorNO]

 

[ILikeToBendPages]

Bless you, how traumatic to lose your mother that way.:hug:

Anyway, your post reminded me of when my depression really hit, it was when my son went off to college. I really knew that, guess I was thinking one should be over empty nest syndrome before 10 years is up, lol :facepalm: My problem was that my whole life and reason for living revolved around raising my son. We even homeschooled his high school years . Gave up my career, didn't really like it anyway, and gave up my dreams of changing careers when he was gone and out of the house, seemed too late to start over. So I had nothing left, my life was nothing. Then there are the dreaded hormones, or lack thereof, lol :scared: anyway, I know what you mean by days like that as I have had my share, and it's a terrible place to be.

Interesting thought on motherhood, what a tremendously enlightening, defining, and empowering experience. It seems that for you becoming a mother brought you out of depression . While for me, losing that part of my life brought depression to me. Motherhood, , Oh how I loved it.

Anyway, its great that you found something to work for you at least to some degree. If you have a good Dr. who will work with you that counts for a lot too. So hang in there with me...

Yes WS friends, we must all hang in there, together: :seeya:

Thank you for your kind words. We had been married for five months and I slept for a solid year. We worked second shift and when she died I quit work and started sleeping.

We'd get up around ten in the morning, have breakfast/lunch whatever we wanted; he'd get ready for work and I'd take a nap till five then get up and fix dinner. He came home for lunch in the evenings , and when he went back to work I'd read. Just read. I discovered Half Price Books that year and it saved a whole lot of money on my addiction of reading true crimes book. We had a parakeet named Phineas and it chirped and whistled the song to Alfred Hitchcock when it came on at ten thirty, and a cat that played the in and out game, several aquariums, and many plants. My sister would bring friends over to see my zoo.

I lived in,still do, caftans and sweats, hated clothes.

He came home at midnight and we'd up stay up and did whenever we wanted. It was a nice time. We have a good time with spending it together.

Before my grandson came along we were working on getting two kids leaving home in a few years. I had a hysterectomy (leaving my ovaries for a natural menopause) when I was thirty nine and wasn't even thinking of babies, just me and my husband like when we started out. We were building a cabin in east Texas and loved fishing in the lakes, and becoming a grandmother wasn't what I wanted at the time, but my husband and I became the "parents" to our grandson and then his sister. Now that our grandson is eighteen and stays by himself, we have that special time again.

My daughter is bi-polar and moved back home for three years; now is living with my sister, and I want her to move back home. I wouldn't mind my thirty four year old son coming back home. We have more than enough room for them and for grandkids. They could save their money, go back to school, take vacations, and have some freedom from paying for an apartment and things. I don't mind cooking and they don't mind eating what I cook , they pick up after themselves, and we all kinda keep each other company. Empty nest is a *****.

 

[Tiger09]

Ok, I'm just going to type. It's the middle of the night and there's nobody here, so yeah. My depression is really getting the best of me lately. I'd thought I was doing better with my promotion and working a 2nd job, taking on a LOT of new responsibility and meeting new people. My finances are finally back in check, (or very close!). I'm just really in a funk. I have been for awhile. It's my age and relationship status, and lack of kids status haha. I just pictured myself so much further along than I am now. There are some nights I just want to throw in the towel but then I think about my family and I couldn't do that to them. Ugh. So conflicted.

And yes, I'm on the max of my Citalopram, 40mgs. (generic of Celexa) Just really bummed lately and can't shake it. I hate this feeling.

Kind of just over it all Honestly. I'm sick of the petty whining, time to just do or die, right?

I was on that medicine and it made me worse. It's one of the worst anti depressants IMO. I get you with the depression. A lot of ppl have suggested therapy, and I agree. It gives you a support system. I'm going back next week.

 

[Mollyandme]

Thank you for your kind words. We had been married for five months and I slept for a solid year. We worked second shift and when she died I quit work and started sleeping.

We'd get up around ten in the morning, have breakfast/lunch whatever we wanted; he'd get ready for work and I'd take a nap till five then get up and fix dinner. He came home for lunch in the evenings , and when he went back to work I'd read. Just read. I discovered Half Price Books that year and it saved a whole lot of money on my addiction of reading true crimes book. We had a parakeet named Phineas and it chirped and whistled the song to Alfred Hitchcock when it came on at ten thirty, and a cat that played the in and out game, several aquariums, and many plants. My sister would bring friends over to see my zoo.

I lived in,still do, caftans and sweats, hated clothes. we had a parakeet named Phineas and it chirped and whistled the song to Alfred Hitchcock when it came on at ten thirty.

He came home at midnight and we'd up stay up and did whenever we wanted. It was a nice time. We have a good time with spending it together.

Before my grandson came along we were working on getting two kids leaving home in a few years. I had a hysterectomy (leaving my ovaries for a natural menopause) when I was thirty nine and wasn't even thinking of babies, just me and my husband like when we started out. We were building a cabin in east Texas and loved fishing in the lakes, and becoming a grandmother wasn't what I wanted at the time, but my husband and I became the "parents" to our grandson and then his sister. Now that our grandson is eighteen and stays by himself, we have that special time again.

My daughter is bi-polar and moved back home for three years; now is living with my sister, and I want her to move back home. I wouldn't mind my thirty four year old son coming back home. We have more than enough room for them and for grandkids. They could save their money, go back to school, take vacations, and have some freedom from paying for an apartment and things. I don't mind cooking and they don't mind eating what I cook , they pick up after themselves, and we all kinda keep each other company. Empty nest is a *****.

my mom is experiencing empty nest in full force now while my dad is loving every second of it. he just went out and bought a brand new range rover yesterday lol, he is LOVING this. my sister moved to chicago for grad school a week ago and my brother and i are both out of the house. she said it hit her like a sledgehammer...no sleeping/anxiety/racing thoughts, just down in the dumps. i feel so bad so i have been trying to bring my kids over more (we live only 10 mins away) and try to check in w/her everyday even though she still works 4 days a week. i don't know what else to do. she's only 50 and has so much fun stuff to look forward too, like vacations with my dad, grandkids, my brother and sister getting married, more grand kids lol.. stuff like that. i'm the oldest in my family but i would also say I'm the most emotionally dependent on my parents. I really still feel I need their approval for everything, if I do something that I think will disappoint them I feel completely ashamed. After I had my c-section with my son, my mom was so upset i had to have an emergency surgery that she took off work for the 4 days I was in the hospital and sat with me from 11 am when visiting hours started to 8pm when they ended. I always thought I was her least favorite child b/c I was the hardest to raise I think, but that really made me feel good. I wish there was more I could do to make her feel better right now. Her and my daughter have a very close bond so I will just remind her that she still has Molly here Another 18 years of her getting to enjoy all the fun stuff that kids bring to the table and not all the discipline!

 

[Mollyandme]

I was on that medicine and it made me worse. It's one of the worst anti depressants IMO. I get you with the depression. A lot of ppl have suggested therapy, and I agree. It gives you a support system. I'm going back next week.

i was on that for like a month in college after a bad break up, did nothing. only thing that helped was klonopin as needed for a month until the panic of it all wore off. That's what I use now as needed (not during pregnancy). I find personally that less is more with medication and if i have a panic attack and need to take something, even though its a controlled substance and has a stigma attatched to it, I will still take it. I also believe having your vitamin b and vitamin d levels in check are very important. I have these sublingal b 12 vitamins that taste like cherries and they dissolve in your mouth, give you energy, and taste good. You just pop them under your tongue!

 

[YESorNO]

Evening everyone :seeya:

Anyone watching Piers Morgan on CNN.
Very interesting- with the Warren family about their son, Matthew who committed suicide and about how taboo mental illness is.
(nothing else is on, except maybe Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah on encore :floorlaugh:- still might watch that :floorlaugh.

 

[gcharlie]

Not watching Piers Morgan. I'm watching A Time to Kill, based on the John Grisham novel. I've never seen or heard of the movie. Very intense subject matter and so far the movie has grabbed my attention.

Probably won't be posting tonight, at least not during the movie.

 

[LambChop]

Not watching Piers Morgan. I'm watching A Time to Kill, based on the John Grisham novel. I've never seen or heard of the movie. Very intense subject matter and so far the movie has grabbed my attention.

Probably won't be posting tonight, at least not during the movie.

It's a great movie and it was a great book. jmo

 

[daisymae]

good evening everyone

wake up and pay me some attention!

 

[YESorNO]

I just found the game "Hearts" on my computer today.
Anyone play?
I stink at it :floorlaugh: I just know the computer and those people "north, south, and east" are all cheating! :floorlaugh: they must know all the cards I have!!! :scared:
I did win one game out of 25 :facepalm:

 

[YESorNO]

good evening everyone

wake up and pay me some attention!

Hi, sis :seeya:
How was your day?

 

[daisymae]

Hi, sis :seeya:
How was your day?

A nice and quiet day, gradually cleaning my room for winter. Still have a box in here with last years Xmas gifts LOL

 

[neesaki]

Ok, has anyone seen "Reign Over Me" with Adam Sandler? About a man, a dentist, who lost his wife and children on 9-11. As far as I know this might be his first really dramatic type role, either way it's an impressive one, IMO .
After the tragedy he is obviously suffering from severe PTSD, pretty much non-functional, no longer able to practice, plays video games all day, living a disjointed and isolated life.

I remember watching the news during the immediate aftermath of those violent terroristic assaults on our homeland, our country, and sitting there sobbing while watching the burning buildings, and people jumping out the windows. Then hearing the frantic phone calls of the victims on the airplanes. I watched it every single day for like a week, it was unfathomable to me what was happening, the horror those poor people went through.

So what this movie does, at least for me, is really bring home the effect of the tragedy of 9-11 on a personal level. Excellent movie, but let me forewarn you, it might make you cry.

 

[YESorNO]

Ok, has anyone seen "Reign Over Me" with Adam Sandler? About a man, a dentist, who lost his wife and children on 9-11. As far as I know this might be his first really dramatic type role, either way it's an impressive one, IMO .
After the tragedy he is obviously suffering from severe PTSD, pretty much non-functional, no longer able to practice, plays video games all day, living a disjointed and isolated life.

I remember watching the news during the immediate aftermath of those violent terroristic assaults on our homeland, our country, and sitting there sobbing while watching the burning buildings, and people jumping out the windows. Then hearing the frantic phone calls of the victims on the airplanes. I watched it every single day for like a week, it was unfathomable to me what was happening, the horror those poor people went through.

So what this movie does, at least for me, is really bring home the effect of the tragedy of 9-11 on a personal level. Excellent movie, but let me forewarn you, it might make you cry.

Evening neesaki :seeya:
No, I never heard of the movie. 9-11 devastated a lot of people all in different ways.

 

[YESorNO]

A nice and quiet day, gradually cleaning my room for winter. Still have a box in here with last years Xmas gifts LOL

Was my gift in there? :floorlaugh:

 

[daisymae]

Ok, has anyone seen "Reign Over Me" with Adam Sandler? About a man, a dentist, who lost his wife and children on 9-11. As far as I know this might be his first really dramatic type role, either way it's an impressive one, IMO .
After the tragedy he is obviously suffering from severe PTSD, pretty much non-functional, no longer able to practice, plays video games all day, living a disjointed and isolated life.

I remember watching the news during the immediate aftermath of those violent terroristic assaults on our homeland, our country, and sitting there sobbing while watching the burning buildings, and people jumping out the windows. Then hearing the frantic phone calls of the victims on the airplanes. I watched it every single day for like a week, it was unfathomable to me what was happening, the horror those poor people went through.

So what this movie does, at least for me, is really bring home the effect of the tragedy of 9-11 on a personal level. Excellent movie, but let me forewarn you, it might make you cry.

I'd like to see it but don't care for Sandler at all .... thanks! I will maybe go.