SIDEBAR #20- Arias/Alexander forum

[YESorNO]

Various Interpretations

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and Family

values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'

Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
__________________________________________________ _____________
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court

Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'

'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and

then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
__________________________________________________ _____________
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room,

Took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'

'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really Good

with the kids.'
__________________________________________________ _____________
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove

a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact

words that were used to put the curse on you.'

The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
__________________________________________________ ___
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

1. The DNA all matches.

2. There are no dental records.
__________________________________________________ ___
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how

long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'

The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'

'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
__________________________________________________ ___
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical

Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.

'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he

answered.

What did he say,' asked the nurse.

'Oops!'
__________________________________________________ ___
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a

display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty

pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I

sought my husband's advice.

'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'

'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'

He's still in intensive care.
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Pastor's New Teeth

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth.

The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes.

The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes.

The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.

The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they

asked him what happened.

The Pastor explained the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for

more than 8 minutes.

The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes.

But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's' teeth in by mistake and he couldn't

shut up.
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Guts or balls

There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls.

We have all heard of people having Guts or having Balls. But do you really

know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being me
t
by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still

cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling

of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt

and having the Balls to say:

'You're next, Chubby.'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking there is No difference in the outcome.

Both are fatal.

 

[gcharlie]

:therethere: :blowkiss:

I can actually see your funny brother running up and down the stairs singing. What a wonderful memory for you. :heartbeat:

I just hope Travis's family and others who have lost a loved one to murder can someday have this same kind of tender memory.

The tears still come, but they are a different kind of tear now. I think of them as being filled with love instead of sadness.

 

[YESorNO]

:scared: :scared: :scared: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh:

[video=youtube;7K4RdzYV15s]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7K4RdzYV15s[/video]

(sorry about the bad language and that this is longer than usual)

 

[josie1986]

:scared: :scared: :scared: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh:

Alyce LaVioLOST - YouTube

i laughed so hard at the harry potter part :floorlaugh:

 

[gcharlie]

:scared: :scared: :scared: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh:

Alyce LaVioLOST - YouTube

(sorry about the bad language and that this is longer than usual)

The lizard tongues are pretty good too. I saw another YouTube with both CMJA and ALV with the lizard tongue action. Creeped me out.

Watching this reminded me of the one time that I saw maybe a personal reaction from Martinez. IIRC, ALV was talking about chilldren and things that influence them growing up. She made a broad stroke example of hispanic speaking children and Juan just gave her this look like WTH, yo, B, you talkin' bout me?

 

[YESorNO]

i laughed so hard at the harry potter part :floorlaugh:

I loved the music part- so :floorlaugh:
And the lizard :floorlaugh:
I loved the part where JM is just sitting and the expression on his face :floorlaugh:
Of course seeing JM again is a plus. :heartbeat:

 

[YESorNO]

---------------------------------------------------
Neurotics build castles in the sky.
Psychotics live in them.
Psychiatrists collect the rent.

:floorlaugh:

 

[YESorNO]

:floorlaugh:


[video=youtube;03T2pKO8ItE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03T2pKO8ItE[/video]

 

[YESorNO]

I'm getting tired (too much gallivanting around today :facepalm, so I'm
leaving you with some relaxing music to listen to:

[video=youtube;ZR2JlDnT2l8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR2JlDnT2l8[/video]


Good night all :seeya:

 

[gcharlie]

I am wiped out and will turn in early tonight. This BS with my mom's stuff has hit me and my sisters really hard. None of us are sleeping well or eating well right now. We need the stress to end.

Zuri, we got nailed really hard with taxes today. I feel your pain.

Sweet dreams, peeps. fftobed:

 

[Kensie]

Get some rest gcharlie. Sweet dreams.

 

[franquerolane]

If you find your shoes in the freezer.......then you have Alzheimer's :scared:

:facepalm:

About ten years ago, I found a White Castle hamburger in my utensile drawer. I was sure I had Alzheimers.

 

[Zuri]

Years ago, when I was living at home, I opened the refrigerator door and found my mom's glasses. I asked if she was missing them as I held them up. She said "Oh Yes" and then took them and put them on. Well, as you can imagine, they fogged up and she still couldn't see. I was ROFLMAO. She wasn't even 50 when this happened. She said it was her children that had driven her batty. Sure. She is till with it at 81 all things being equal!

 

[daisymae]

My kids still get their presents from Santa! I calligraphy all the tags with red pen and use paper I have hidden from view. I tell them now that Santa will bring 3 things that they want within reason. I use the Wisemen analogy now. They have to keep them within reason plus the cost of inflation. :floorlaugh: Wait until they learn that that number has diminished to one gift. The government awaits...

Am I on the list for one within reason price? :floorlaugh:

 

[daisymae]

I don't even put up a tree anymore. Hubs hates all holidays. No gifts, nothing. It is extremely depressing. Bah humbug. The things you do to keep peace.

Do what YOU want to do! He can spend the day in the bedroom watching football.

 

[Zuri]

Am I on the list for one within reason price? :floorlaugh:

Yes my child. Have you been a good fun flower this year?

 

[daisymae]

Yes my child. Have you been a good fun flower this year?

Of course! hmmmm, what do I want? :floorlaugh:

 

[Zuri]

Has anyone heard from Bernina? I haven't seen her on here for awhile. Hope her SO is ok.

 

[daisymae]

Has anyone heard from Bernina? I haven't seen her on here for awhile. Hope her SO is ok.

Haven't seen her in a long time and miss her.

 

[neesaki]

I loved Christmas when my children were younger. They believed in Santa for a very long time and Christmas morning was always magical. As the years passed, it was harder and harder to get them together to go pick out the Christmas tree. I loved decorating the tree and always bought ornaments in threes so they would each have an ornament collection to share with their own families when the time came.

I realized in 2009 when I was so sick, that it was really just my thing. No one went out and got a tree. No one put out the Department 56 villages. I think my husband did get a wreath, but I can't be sure. Now with the Christmas season arriving before Halloween, I am more bah humbug. It used to be so much fun.....

I always loved, loved Christmas, until my son grew up and was out of the house. Our Christmas tree has gotten smaller over the years, we used to get a real one, now it's artificial. And, I have come very close to not putting ornaments on, only lights because I'm not in the spirit and it's too much trouble and no fun to do by myself. :facepalm: Then I end up doing it anyway at some point, though not as many ornaments as in the past.
I leave my Dept. 56 village pieces out in a pine hutch year around, it's too much trouble to put them away, I do change the little tiny trees around some through the seasons so it doesn't look just Christmasy all year 'round. I do need to put in more lights, as they've burned out.
What is it about perpetual empty nest syndrome and hating Christmas, lol.
Oh, plus my extended family is kind of a pain in the you-know-what...to the point I would really rather just disappear over the holidays. :hills:

Oh well, I might consider praying for some Christmas Spirit this year. :seeya: