The Duggar Family: 18 Kids & Counting

[CarpeDiem]

Something is all so 'hinky' to me about this family since the day they found it necessary to have their private life put in the public eye. What was the point/need, to do so...........anyone know?

So other people might perhaps trust God.

 

[deanws]

So other people might perhaps trust God.

I am a Christian, so I am asking this with all sincerity......how is watching a show about some lady having 17 kids going to make anyone trust God? If anything, it will make them look like people with a few french fries short of a happy meal!

 

[shopper]

Seems to me some of the folks on this thread are being overly judgmental of these people. If you don't like them or agree with their lifestyle don't watch the show. There is no reason to get yourself all worked up. Sure there are a lot of children in this family but I agree with Jack at least they are all well mannered. Wasn't the dad a state representative for a while? Personally I think it's great that they are a large family. It's not for me but who am I to judge them. It's not like they are hording guns and prepping for a war. Give them a break.

No one is worked up or bashing them. Expressing opinions does not = judgmental. IMO, they must want attention (or more likely, the money) or they'd not be doing a t.v. show. They are celebs now so any kind of attention, positive or negative, comes with the territory.

I personally don't watch the show but the news of the 17th child is impossible to ignore, what with it being ALL over the news and all.

 

[CarpeDiem]

I am a Christian, so I am asking this with all sincerity......how is watching a show about some lady having 17 kids going to make anyone trust God? If anything, it will make them look like people with a few french fries short of a happy meal!

I don't know. I do think that they are good people in a world full of meth-heads and DUI's, husbands murdering their pregnant wives or lovers, etc. Their show does help me keep my own things in perspective too. LOL. And, I've never seen any of them lose it. There isn't anger. The Dad is aging fast though, LOL.

 

[deanws]

I don't know. I do think that they are good people in a world full of meth-heads and DUI's, husbands murdering their pregnant wives or lovers, etc. Their show does help me keep my own things in perspective too. LOL. And, I've never seen any of them lose it. There isn't anger. The Dad is aging fast though, LOL.

I am SURE they lose it just like everyone else. Of course they wouldn't do it on TV! If someone was taping your family on a TV show you wouldn't lose it either. LOL I never said they weren't good people trying to raise their kids right. I was just saying that it wouldn't make me have more faith or trust in God by watching their show. I do wonder why they choose to tape TV shows yet they don't believe in watching it. Seems to me that says they have a double standard. :waitasec: As far as comparing them to the scum in the world? Of course they are much better to read and hear about than all the rest of those losers. I just have a HUGE problem with the homeschool situation. As I said in an earlier post....even teachers can't teach it all. They have areas of specialization. NO WAY is she qualified to teach that many kids on that many different levels all at the same time. The kids are the ones to suffer...and it is just not fair.

 

[CarpeDiem]

I am SURE they lose it just like everyone else. Of course they wouldn't do it on TV! If someone was taping your family on a TV show you wouldn't lose it either. LOL

I've caught a couple episodes of Super Nanny too, LOL, some of them lose it wether they are on TV or not. Same with Dr. Phil and 20/20, when they know the cameras are there.

 

[deanws]

I've caught a couple episodes of Super Nanny too, LOL, some of them lose it wether they are on TV or not. Same with Dr. Phil and 20/20, when they know the cameras are there.

OMGosh!!! Did you see Dr. Phil on the man camp series!?!?!? Talking about people losing it with so many people watching. I swear they looked like the Jerry Springer show on some parts!!! LMAO!!!

 

[CarpeDiem]

OMGosh!!! Did you see Dr. Phil on the man camp series!?!?!? Talking about people losing it with so many people watching. I swear they looked like the Jerry Springer show on some parts!!! LMAO!!!

Yeah! I think he's doing the man camp tomorrow too. :silenced:

 

[deanws]

Yeah! I think he's doing the man camp tomorrow too. :silenced:

Those guys are embarrassing!

 

[SeriouslySearching]

Hey...don't hassle them! They are a wonderful family and as near as I can tell...they are doing a "bang up" job of raising the all those children! I think personally they are crazy, but as long as they can feed, love, afford, and cherish them...who are we to say how many they can have?! I feel she is in denial with their religion and his uhm...er...obvious...oversexual problems...but they have privacy rights. We must respect them.

 

[deanws]

Hey...don't hassle them! They are a wonderful family and as near as I can tell...they are doing a "bang up" job of raising the all those children! I think personally they are crazy, but as long as they can feed, love, afford, and cherish them...who are we to say how many they can have?! I feel she is in denial with their religion and his uhm...er...obvious...oversexual problems...but they have privacy rights. We must respect them.

When you make TV specials about your family, you give up some of your "privacy rights." We are discussing them, not hassling them. I wish them nothing but blessings, even if I don't agree with the homeschooling.:blowkiss:

 

[philamena]

They do not believe in birth control so if God gives them more, there will be more - however many that is. Their religion does not allow them to "decide" how many kids they will have - they keep having them as long as they can physically.
.....
My Opinion

FlowerChild,
Thank you so much for taking the time to give such a detailed answer. :blowkiss:

 

[SeriouslySearching]

Their kids are learning more about the real world just being alive than we ever did to be quite frank. It is quite amazing actually. I don't agree with everything, but as far as school goes...they are learning so much! This is one thing I don't have a problem with at all.

 

[FlowerChild]

Gee if it were not for TLC, I do wonder how they would furnish the house, get thousands upon tens of thousand of dollars, and ensure that the public knows all about how to raise Stepford kids. Gee the boys would be well served to "join" the military, they do have the back ground training for it.

Trust me there is more money in this for this family then anyone realizes. I do wonder how they attempt to support them all, well now I have a idea how.

Oh I forgot, having the kids "buddy" with a young one, dressing the kids all the same, appearing on TV for an income, getting their house furnished, free. Not sending the girls to college to be educated.

Wow, sound like a great deal for them. Now if they would only not use electricity, and use candles so they do not contribute to the global warming and green house gases,I am sure the girls won't be driving cars, so that is a plus.

At least with the other religious organizations they do not rely on the rest of the world to supply them with electricity and gas. Now they are truly "productive" and self sufficient members of society. A religion that is truly self sufficient.

Why can't these people use candles and grow their own food.

What happens when "one" of 17 kids wants to use the phone, do they have to make an appointment "days" in advance, is there a lottery to see who uses the phone that day, are they set for a time limit say 3 minutes each every other day or week. Or do they see the phone as "devils" work.

Do they have bedtime stories and tuck in at night, not by parents but by brothers and sisters. Do they do this in assembly line fashion. The parents cannot even keep the names and ages of the kids straight and some people seem to think that they all get the emotional attention that every child craves, that they are "unique" and valued. No they are just one of the numbers. What number child are you Jennifer: I am girl number 4.

What about you Josh: I am boy number 3.

Mom I want to talk to you about my future and what I may want to be when I grow up: Jennifer the only thing you are going to be when you grow up, your entire purpose on this planet is to have babies, as many as you can and then try to remember all of their names. The only purpose you have is to educate the children and be a homemaker.

But Mom, I am smart, I want to do more. Well too bad for you Jennifer, our religion has decided for you. Your entire life has been chosen for you as it is will all of the girls. Only the boys get educated.

Mom: I have a problem that I don't feel comfortable talking to my "buddy" about. Well Jennifer, make an appointment on the calender and I will see if I can fit you in a week from Tuesday, after all you have 16 other brothers and sister that need my attention also.

It is akin to one teacher teaching 3 kids in a class. There is a question or problem and she can ensure that one child has the appropriate attention.

Other then one teacher with a class of 17 kids and 6 kids have a question.

Who do you think will get the "better" explanation and attention in class, one in three, or 6 in seventeen.

Unless it is proven to me that these people do not contribute to global warming, greenhouse gas emissions, over population of the planet, then I see them as selfish and self centered.

Why don't they tell the other "flip" side of a family with 8 kids living in abject poverty, but unable to provide for all of the current kids, let alone the future ones.

They have only done three specials - I believe a fourth is upcoming - I doubt it has made them more than $400K for ALL of them. They do deserve to be paid. They spend $2K a month on groceries - of course they have "money" - life isn't free - they have medical and dental and other bills just like we do, they just don't spend money they don't have - debt free with 17 kids - must take some discipline to make THAT happen. Most families with ONE kid can't manage THAT - even with the husband & wife BOTH working and their kid in public school all day.

They have a phone - who says kids each need a phone? Who would the younger ones call?

The parents spend more time with these kids than most - they are taught by Mom EVERY day and Dad does field trips. Most "regular" parents spend very little time with their kids daily - our "regular" kids are in school and doing planned activities 8-10 hours daily. Most parents who work spend 30 minutes OR LESS with their children daily. If they have 2, that's 15 minutes a kid. I bet Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar EACH spend more than 15 minutes a day with each of their 17 kids.

I am sure they pay the same utility bills as everyone in their area - property and school taxes too. Are they not entitled to utilities?

Each child seems to get adequate individual attention and yes, the parents read stories and tuck in at night. There are also music lessons by their MOM. The older children do help around the house so the PARENTS can have more time with the little ones. They do not watch TV or have computers (for games etc) so there is much more family time than in most families. Daily Bible study and stories.

The oldest children do use the computer for college classes and they have a family web site done by the oldest son. They don't use it as a electronic babysitter though.

Every parent has expectations for their children. Once the child reaches 18 though - he or she is free to do whatever they like. No-one is forcing any of the kids to live a certain lifestyle - once they are grown, they can make their own choices. If the girls don't want to be Moms then they are free to leave the life and do their own thing. Same with the boys. It would be no different if they were Amish or Mennonite - you must CHOOSE to live the life - you cannot be forced to do anything as an adult. Those kids can pack up and walk away the day they turn 18 and there is nothing the parents can do about it except shun them. I know plenty of kids who's parents FORCED them into the medical or legal field or a family business...they went to college and came out a clone of the parents - often very unhappy. Parents have pushed kids into jobs and marriages they hated for centuries. It is not just the Duggars who want to have their children "follow their footsteps". The Duggars will learn soon enough that those kids each have a mind of their own - 17 of those individual minds to date. Rebellion is natural and it will come (along with curiosity) - even to the Quiverfull Families with their perfectly trained children.

There is no need to get upset - or even concerned - fanaticism never seems to last more than a generation or two here in the US and despite our concerns, the Duggar kids and ALL the Quiverfull kids will find their way to the life they want, given time. Some of them will be perfectly content to live the life of their parents and well, others won't. Once they can no longer be "controlled" by their parents, things will start to go very differently than they were "trained" to go. Just as their parents made a considered choice to believe in the way they do, those kids will one day face the same questions and decisions - and not all of them are gonna make the same choices - they are, after all, humans, not dogs, or goats or robots. Can any human ever be "trained"? I don't think so.

Relax - the Duggars are better parents than some and perhaps worse than some others but the world will still rotate and life will go on taking them and the whole Quiverfull movement along with it. Like the Amish and Mennonite families - it's hardly abuse to raise your kids according to your religious beliefs so long as the children are not abused or neglected..and from what I have seen, the Duggar kids are neither.

The Amish kids NEVER get a car or a phone or use electricity or computers, they are working in their family businesses, working as physical laborers, using outhouses and getting a 7th grade education and the sexes are separated in church and school - is THAT abuse?

It takes all kinds in the world and we have something to learn from every lifestyle, even those we do not agree with.

My Opinion

 

[PSUfan]

Their kids are learning more about the real world just being alive than we ever did to be quite frank. It is quite amazing actually. I don't agree with everything, but as far as school goes...they are learning so much! This is one thing I don't have a problem with at all.

Hopefully my last post on this. I hate to say the same thing over and over.. hehe... but it really is surprising how scared some folks are of large families. When I grew up, it was normal to see large families, and people with only 2 kids were considered.. odd, unusual.

Kids really don't need 24/7 attention of their parents to grow up well adjusted and smart. These kids learn to negotiate with siblings, take turns, sharing, even being discreet about punching someone out. Plus, learning to live with, and get along with wildly differing personalities are important life skills for children.

If the family can afford the kids, without resorting to public aid, then it is nobodys business how many children they have.

Of course, they are on tv, so discussing them is fair game, but to suggest that they should be spayed or neutered?? Prochoice does work both ways.

 

[CyberLaw]

So the children choose to dress in the same clothes, the same hair styles.

The girls can choose at 18, with 18 years of bible studies to "leave" on their own and live their own life and are not "expected" to adhere to 18 years of bible studies that have instilled the value of the QF life and religion.

Really, there would be no pressure if one of the girls wants to "shun" her religion and not have 17 babies and become a computer programmer.

That is not the backbone of this religion, they don't raise girls to think for themselves, the only purpose they have, they will every have in this religion is the pressure to conform to the biblical value of their church, their community and family.

I would like to see if an 18 year old girl showed up at her church in pants(that she chooses to wear) what would the community, the church and parents say to that "rebellious" 18 year old child.

You are turning your back on all of the "biblical" teaching, G-d, the bible, the elders, the community, the church, your family by wearing pants.

After all it is the teaching of this religion that no birth control is used. So tell me if no birth control is used and the future wife has been taught this all of these years, and she becomes pregnant year after year, how is she going to live the life that she wants when she is perpetually pregnant.

People who have 4 kids pay utilities, and taxes. But the difference is 4 kids will use a lot less "NATURAL" resources then a family with 17, but would still pay the same property taxes.

Remember a megawatt of power saved is a megawatt of power earned.

If you can convince me that this family uses the exact same resources, food, power, utilities as a smaller family and leaves a carbon footprint of the same size on this earth, then I will agree.

You assume that these kids have different personalities, but do they? Or are they all expected to conform to the teaching and expectation of family, community and church. I doubt little boy 8 will be a typical boy of 8. Not a chance, he will be exactly what is expected of him, less the parents are humiliated and the child punished for being a typical child of 8.

If these parents cannot support the children without "selling" out on TV with a grocery bill of 2K a week. It is their choice to have 17 kids and their choice to spend 2K a week to feed them. But without the 400K+ they received, would they really be able to support them properly, because if so they should have appeared on TV for free, just to spread the word of their religion and biblical studies.

The kids are not exposed to the outside world, so tell me if they are so sheltered in their biblical life, what type of profession and life experiences would "overlap" in the real world.

They are not prepared to enter a world other then the one that they have been raised in.

 

[SewingDeb]

If they choose to live in the "real world" when they are grown, they will be naive but quickly wise up. I'm sure they believe they do live in the real world.

From what I read about the Quiverfull, they want to populate the world with people who trust God and live a good, clean life. Nothing wrong with that, imo. The children are sheltered, not likely to join gangs, do drugs, drink, etc. I assume they have good heads on their shoulders and even though they may be a little brain washed, I don't see it as a bad thing.

Compare their upbringing to the Poptarts or the Rap Stars. I would rather lean toward the Quiverfull way of raising children than the way many celebreties have been raised.

 

[mjak]

If they choose to live in the "real world" when they are grown, they will be naive but quickly wise up. I'm sure they believe they do live in the real world.

From what I read about the Quiverfull, they want to populate the world with people who trust God and live a good, clean life. Nothing wrong with that, imo. The children are sheltered, not likely to join gangs, do drugs, drink, etc. I assume they have good heads on their shoulders and even though they may be a little brain washed, I don't see it as a bad thing.

Compare their upbringing to the Poptarts or the Rap Stars. I would rather lean toward the Quiverfull way of raising children than the way many celebreties have been raised.

I see nothing wrong with wanting to create a world with people with good morals and values and living healthy clean lives. However, the reality is this is not the world we live in and there are so so many children in need out there. Instead of insulating yourself and populating a world to fit your ideal why not take the means you have and reach out to those allready in need. I would love to see this family adopt a special needs child. However, I recognize this is a very personal and individualized thing to do.

mjak

 

[CyberLaw]

We are not talking about celebrities here, or the way showbiz kids are raised.

We are talking about "real" life outside of the sheltered community of QF.

Excuse me miss 18 year old girl. Can you come over to our apartment to participate in bible studies, because I am interested in your religion.

Of course the naive 18 year old girl goes. After all she is naive to the real world and the "motives" of some people. So she goes over with bible in hand, full of 18 years of native teaching and 18 years of bible studies.

She feels everyone is as great as her community, her church, her family, because she has been "sheltered" from the real world.

She walks into the apartment with the full expectation of good and a bible in hand. Except that she has no idea that this "husband and wife" have no intention of studying the bible with her and she is harmed.

Welcome to the real world outside of QF. These kids are of course "warned" all of their lives about those evil "outsiders" who live outside of the QF faith to the point where they will want to live in the QF faith, because the rest of the world will seem foreign and scary with all of those non QF people who do not adhere to the Bible. They will stay in the comfort and shelter of what they know, their community, their church and family.

Just like the lost boys of a faith who were kicked out because they were competition for young girls, they literally cannot survive in the world outside of their faith without a significant amount of help to adjust to the real world outside of their community.

QF girls will only meet QF boys and will be expected to be good QF followers and what is expected of them.

Not a chance that an "outsider" will be welcomed and not a chance a man in the real world will want 17 kids with his wife and not be QF.

So they feel they have the right to overpopulate the world and spread the world of the bible and clean living. Then become missionaries in another country, I am sure having 17 kids in any other country beside a first world country will go over very well.

I believe in God, live a good clean and moral life, our kids are not in gangs, do drugs, or another other conduct that causes concern.

Does that make us lesser of humans, because we do not adhere to "their" faith. Because they feel that their faith is supreme and that they have to "convert" people to their faith because they feel it is the right teaching and biblical study. This reminds me of others who want the rest of the world to follow their faith because they feel it is the "right" one. Let these people spread the word in their own community.

Remember anyone outside of the QF faith is seen as non biblical, who do not live a clean live if they do not adhere to their rigid view of what is good and clean living. Let them go to the Prisons, abused women shelters, child abuse centres and see the evils and how good clean biblical living will solve the problems of the world.

Please, I live in reality.

 

[Taximom]

I'm truly surprised at how much this family seems to bother other people. Even while watching the documentary I never got the feeling this family was trying to push their beliefs on anyone, except probably their own family, which is done all over the world in different cultures.

The QF's aren't the only ones that think their religion is the only one people should believe in. I don't see them strapping bombs to themselves to impress their ideologies upon others.

So let them have as many children as they want. They aren't hurting anyone else. I'd rather have 17 Duggar's in my neighborhood than one Paris, Britney, Lindsey, or Osama.