The Murder of Janet Abaroa #1

[golfmom]

I'm trying to get some information out of him on this case, but he's so dang hard to get up with!

Any luck?

 

[misterallgood]

The following is Shiloh's entry from May 18;

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

just letting you know I hate you

and thats that. I hate you all. nothing insightful. nothing to cherise. nothing to ponder. just that I hate you all so very much.

I thought that was interesting, but I must say I am all for leaving his family alone as much as possible. Anything he may or may not have done is not their fault. I'd just counsel all of us to remember that whatever we suspect about him need not color our view of them. I quoted the above because I wondered if the date was significant; perhaps she'd been surfing and reading what I and others are saying about her brother. If so, I could see why she'd say that, sort of to the internet in general, apparently.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

One more thing about MySpace profiles, a lot of them are amateur bands trying to promote their music. (Nothing wrong with that but I forgot to mention them in the list of the types of profiles I've seen.)

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

The following is Shiloh's entry from May 18;

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I thought that was interesting, but I must say I am all for leaving his family alone as much as possible. Anything he may or may not have done is not their fault. I'd just counsel all of us to remember that whatever we suspect about him need not color our view of them. I quoted the above because I wondered if the date was significant; perhaps she'd been surfing and reading what I and others are saying about her brother. If so, I could see why she'd say that, sort of to the internet in general, apparently.

That makes a lot of sense. Like I said, I'm finding this very sad.

 

[misterallgood]

I did notice that, and it sent a chill down my spine.

BTW, do any of you know of any normal, mature, married folks on MySpace? I'm not asking to be judgemental but because my teenage daughter has been asking me for almost a year to allow her to set up an account there. So I decided to check the site out, and ended up spending about 6 hours one night reading profile after profile after profile before deciding that there is no way in h*ll that I'm letting her create a profile there. I imagine that there must be normal folks on there but I did not encounter even ONE on the night I was checking it out, (of course, I got to other profiles by clicking on friends' lists so that might explain it). In any case, it seemed almost like an online hang-out for a lot of the kids, and people looking to network, hook up, make themselves look "cool", etc. The profiles that I found were just all very odd or very immature, and I'm just wondering if any of you have more experience with the site than me.

Myspace, deviantart, to a degree livejournal and certainly diaryland are all such places. I say this full well admitting that I had a diaryland diary for 2 years. It's gone now, but I wrote over 600 entries before I was done.

The vibe you got though is stronger at myspace and deviantart, and also the blogging domain, xanga. Big time at xanga, actually. My 19-year-old nephew even has a blog there. His entries are rarely longer than two sentences.

If you let your daughter do that, ensure that she uses a pseudonym, and that she gives out no location info, or easily traceable info. That cannot be stressed enough. Such domains are rife with stalker-types. I hate to be alarmist, but I'm speaking from unfortunate direct experience -- and I'm nearing 40, so it's not all crazy kids. I had a stalker of sorts who was the same age as me.

Safest? Maybe Livejournal, and diaryland if you're careful. Deviantart polices itself pretty well, too -- they won't hesitate to ban people who are abusive, harassing, ugly to others.

 

[misterallgood]

The thing that drives me crazy about all those sites where kids have blogs or art or both is the wretched, awful, horrible grammar, spelling, and the drama. Jeez. Life's dramatic enough without them adding to it. Oh well -- we didn't have blogs or even messageboards as we now know them in the 80's.

The drama didn't get commemorated on server files for years to come.

(sorry for the OT -- just got to thinking about those sites.)

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

If you let your daughter do that, ensure that she uses a pseudonym, and that she gives out no location info, or easily traceable info. That cannot be stressed enough. Such domains are rife with stalker-types. I hate to be alarmist, but I'm speaking from unfortunate direct experience -- and I'm nearing 40, so it's not all crazy kids. I had a stalker of sorts who was the same age as me.

Thanks so much for your advice but I won't be letting her set up a profile. In fact, her screen name can't even access the site. I felt creepy when reading a lot of the profiles there before, and just can't get myself to let her do it.

I also want to say that Raven's sister's MySpace does give a lot of insight into her, (although even she admits that she can pretend to be whatever she chooses whether or not it's an accurate depiction - not in those words, but a very good point especially when considering whether or not to let children/teens join the site). I have no intention of pulling her into any discussions beyond this - seeing her profile just confirmed some family names for those interested in genealogy. I agree that it seems like she might have had a hard time growing up, and I wish her peace.

Finally, Raven's sign-up date is April 19, 2005? And he listed himself as single? Am I seeing that correctly? I wonder what his friends and family thought when they saw that. Surely they knew he was married.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

The thing that drives me crazy about all those sites where kids have blogs or art or both is the wretched, awful, horrible grammar, spelling, and the drama. Jeez. Life's dramatic enough without them adding to it. Oh well -- we didn't have blogs or even messageboards as we now know them in the 80's.

I know; times have really changed. And I'm not so sure that sites like those are good for adolescents. A local news station did an expose on cyber bullying, and reported that there was at least one teen suicide in our area as a result of things that were being said in a chatroom. I think it's a HUGE danger to kids because they can say things that their parents often don't know about, and before you know it the situation escalates. I really have a bad feeling about those places (in terms of young people), and I wish that teens weren't allowed to post there.

 

[misterallgood]

I wonder what his friends and family thought when they saw that. Surely they knew he was married.

I'd suggest to you that he could have changed his status from married to single at any time between April 19 and May 3rd, which was the last time he logged in.

And you know, even if he changed it after she died, that's still all kinds of wrong... so distraught he "couldn't talk on the phone" and then 7 days after finding his wife dead he changes his status to single?

I'm saying, if he put his status down as single before April 26, that's major.

But if he changed it after April 26, up till May 3rd, it's still major. I don't know that I could even conceive of dating, or putting myself out there in some manner if my wife died. It's unfathomable. It might take more than a couple of years, if ever. People are all made differently, but that would be bouncing back waaaaaayyyyyy too soon, y 'all.

 

[golfmom]

But if he changed it after April 26, up till May 3rd, it's still major. I don't know that I could even conceive of dating, or putting myself out there in some manner if my wife died. It's unfathomable. It might take more than a couple of years, if ever. People are all made differently, but that would be bouncing back waaaaaayyyyyy too soon, y 'all.

Especially in light of the katnip Kaiden being pictured. No matter how you look at it, showing himself as single is wrong.

Curious, he went and made comments / changes on myspace, but didn't change anything on his own webpage ? ? ?

 

[vero]

I'd suggest to you that he could have changed his status from married to single at any time between April 19 and May 3rd, which was the last time he logged in.

And you know, even if he changed it after she died, that's still all kinds of wrong... so distraught he "couldn't talk on the phone" and then 7 days after finding his wife dead he changes his status to single?

I'm saying, if he put his status down as single before April 26, that's major.

But if he changed it after April 26, up till May 3rd, it's still major. I don't know that I could even conceive of dating, or putting myself out there in some manner if my wife died. It's unfathomable. It might take more than a couple of years, if ever. People are all made differently, but that would be bouncing back waaaaaayyyyyy too soon, y 'all.

Sounding a lot like Scott Peterson, isn't he?

I know a bunch of teens who have blogs with LiveJournal. When I found out about it, I joined to see what they were up to. There seems to be more control there than there is at MySpace, in that a blogger has to invite others to read their journal. I ws unashamedly trying to snoop, and didn't get very far.

 

[misterallgood]

Especially in light of the katnip Kaiden being pictured. No matter how you look at it, showing himself as single is wrong.

Curious, he went and made comments / changes on myspace, but didn't change anything on his own webpage ? ? ?

Maybe he was thinking no one knew about MySpace yet. There's a thought. Probably a wrong one, but I figured I'd throw it out.

 

[golfmom]

Maybe he was thinking no one knew about MySpace yet. There's a thought. Probably a wrong one, but I figured I'd throw it out.

Maybe I'm being a little harsh, but it irks me that he would play around on myspace instead of making a memorial for Janet. To this date, it still appears that his truck is more important than the memory of his wife.

edited to add: I was giving him the benefit that he might be too grief stricken to get online, but obviously we now know that's not the case.

 

[misterallgood]

Maybe I'm being a little harsh, but it irks me that he would play around on myspace instead of making a memorial for Janet. To this date, it still appears that his truck is more important than the memory of his wife.

No, you're not being harsh.

Even if he didn't do anything to her, it would still be strange and inappropriate behavior, and you called it. That's not harsh, it's honest.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

Maybe he was thinking no one knew about MySpace yet. There's a thought. Probably a wrong one, but I figured I'd throw it out.

misterallgood, your latest blog entry is great. It pulls together some very intriguing points. The recent flurry of online activity, some quotes that have been made, the points about when Raven listed himself as single ... all very keen insights, and definitely food for thought.

Does it seem like Raven recently "discovered" the Internet in terms of personal use? It often seems that when a person first discovers areas like MySpace, certain chat rooms, etc., that it almost feels like a swinging singles party. It seems like everyone is having a great time, of course everyone claims to be single, and it definitely pulls at some types to get more involved. It's almost like it's own universe where almost anything is possible. It makes many unhappily married people wish that they were single again, and having as much fun as so many claim to be in the chatrooms. When first happening upon some of the fun parts of the Internet it feels exciting & new & frenzied in a sense. You can't wait to come back on and add more pictures, or read your e-mail, or update a profile. And I imagine that if you are lonely or unhappy or desperate that it might twist perceptions somewhat, of your own life and the lives of other people that you're "meeting" online.

I'm babbling again, having a very hard time explaining myself today - only 3 hours of sleep last night ... *yawn*. I just wonder if the flurry of activity indicates that Raven had recently started using the Internet for more personal use, and discovered this whole new world.

 

[PrayersForMaura]

I guess you guys already saw this song writte nabout Janet I guess by Raven's brother's band? Forgive me if it was already posted, this thread IS long:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=5004119&blogID=24056383&Mytoken=20050520030320

Janet

i know what everyone else will say but the reason she's not here tonight, she's taken an early flight
you ask who will make my sack lunched, who will wake up Kaiden for the day?
who will give me my older brothers clothes when a dirty traveler has no hope?
who will raise the next prophet down the line when she's left before her time?
i don't care what they say, i'm convinced she's just gone on a holiday.
be it christmas eve, halloween, easter or mothersday, it's a holiday.
on that big cruise ship in the sky, sun tanning by Jesus' side.
while we writhe and cry she'll be alright, the bahamas in the sky, on holiday.

the youth in our blood sometimes runs dry,
leaves wither and fall marches by,
huskies play on east coast days,
colonial houses creak in september weeks,
brother explore haunted river side dwellings,
she kissed her son and waited for our arrival,
reaching back a film in black and white,
memories become our antiques,
to feed our starving bellies for the next week,
while she's gone on holiday,
i think it's safe to say she's playing shuffle board with angels today,
in the sky on holiday.


Raven has a little comment on the site too

I just went back and reread the myspace stuff, and this song that Raven's brother wrote for Janet is very odd... especially the lines I bolded.

The more I read about Raven and his ramblings, the more I think that
a) his family is very messed up
and
b) he had someone do this to Janet. Maybe paid them with some embezzled money.

 

[PrayersForMaura]

Is his brother really in a band or not? It looks to me like he might be one of the founders of MYSpace.com or maybe an employee of them and he generates interest by helping to promote bands??

 

[golfmom]

Is his brother really in a band or not? It looks to me like he might be one of the founders of MYSpace.com or maybe an employee of them and he generates interest by helping to promote bands??

Everyone who joins gets that guy as a buddy.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

Is his brother really in a band or not? It looks to me like he might be one of the founders of MYSpace.com or maybe an employee of them and he generates interest by helping to promote bands??

I don't know of his potential connection to MySpace but I was under the impression that the band site is a band from Salt Lake City who are presumably friends of his. (?) It mentioned a joint project (I can't remember the danged wording now) with Derek Abaroa. That's how we found it initially.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

Raven left a comment on his brother's (?) MySpace. It says Happy Birthday, and it's on April 19th. That might explain the reason behind the date when Raven signed up. He could have just wanted to surprise his cousin with a birthday greeting so signed up that day to post it.