In my experience I quite literally had my abuser threatening my life almost daily, he pulled a gun on me twice, a knife a handful of times, set fire to our house, and rammed my car with his own...
I never actually fully comprehended how dangerous he is until months after I'd left. Because that IS the way abuse works. You can fear your partner, and even say 'If I ever turn up dead', and still not totally 'get' that they mean it. I knew he *could* hurt me - but my very human emotions made me believe he also loved me therefore wouldn't. Discounting and dismissing violence and abusive behaviors is part of the pattern itself...for many, many victims and survivors. It took several months of being away from daily abuse to gain clarity.
I now have no doubt he wouldn't hesitate to kill me if given the chance. An ocean, 4000 miles, several years, a new marriage and he still abuses by proxy every chance he gets - from prison. I don't need to mention he's a psychopath and that I chose to end the relationship, do I? :giggle: Idealize, devalue, and discard is the psychopath's relationship mantra. When anything outside of that occurs, ime, they become fixated on the one who has the audacity to leave them instead. Again, ime, the only thing that will curb that fixation is incarceration, death, or finding a new victim.
JMO and FWIW
