I understand what you are saying and you obviously see it differently than I do, which is fine. For everyone else's benefit, I will address my view of what you said, understanding it is my view and appreciating your own as well.
The men do hold the priesthood. That is different than in other faiths. In other faiths, that would imply that all the men are the leaders of the congregation. At 12 years old, a young man can be eligible to hold the priesthood. In priesthood, they are taught to serve. As they get older, they can baptize and giving blessings and help others. Women do not baptize in our faith and they do not give blessings. So, when I am very sick, I can ask my husband if he will give me a blessing. Much like a special prayer for me. It has been a great benefit for me in my life not only when sick, but also when concerned or worried. Sometimes before a big case, I will ask him for a blessing to help clear my mind. Last week, I was very sick with Influenza A and he gave me a blessing of comfort.
On the other hand, when my husband is sick, I cannot give him blessings. Priesthood is the role of the man in the church. It is service. My husband cannot give himself a blessing or obviously, baptize himself. But, he can do those things for me and my children. I can, of course, pray for my husband, but, if he wants a blessing, he needs to go ask for that service from another priesthood holder.
Similarly, in our faith, we regard motherhood as the highest calling. Not that a woman is burdened with the duty to have kids, but that mothers who sacrifice their time, bodies, and talents to be mothers should be revered. Granted, not all men do this the way they should. But, in our home, my children are taught that my calling as a mother is divine. It is given only to women.
Comparing the two, women are naturally made mothers by God (generally speaking). In our faith, the priesthood arm of the church is to give men a like service mentality to be giving for others. It is not ever to be used to gain advantage or power over someone else. Although, I will sadly admit some men (just like in the rest of the world) do not honor their priesthood as they should. I am grateful to be married to a man who sees his priesthood as service for our family and others.
It is true that the priesthood leads meetings and that priesthood members can be bishops, etc. For instance, right now, my husband is serving as stake president in our area. A bishop is over one ward (or about 300-400 people) and then six (give or take) wards make a stake. My husband is over the stake of about six wards. Our boundaries (things are done by geological boundaries) are about four hours across, both ways. Our clergy are not paid. They hold regular full time jobs. So, as priesthood holder and stake president, my husband travels over 4000 miles per year to go visit and serve the various wards. The money comes from his own pocket, his own car, his own time. He is not paid at all. He spends his Sundays from pre-dawn until dark, visiting congregations, serving families, and administering the church needs. Then, he attends phone meetings per week. We always joke in our house that anyone who seeks to be the bishop or stake president doesn't know what its like.
So as a "stake president" widow who often doesn't see her husband due to his service for others, I never see it as a patriarchal thing or male dominated thing for a man to hold the priesthood. In motherhood, I naturally serve. My husband, through the priesthood, has been taught to serve others - none for his own benefit. Far as I can tell, the only benefit (besides blessings) is that he gets to sit on the stand during meetings (up front) where there are cushier chairs than on the pew benches.
And, just to add to my perspective, alot of my friends wish they had a husband who would go serve or get out of the work life and care about family and faith. In our faith, the priesthood encourages a man to do just that. For me, that has been a HUGE blessing in training my sons to be good marriage partners that way.
So, in the end, this is likely more than anyone cares to know. I just share it because I was not skirting the issue in my mind. I truly see the priesthood as God's way of making men as service oriented and loving as women (if I can be so bold - grin!). And, I am grateful for it. I have never seen a man bless himself with it.
Having said that, I don't seek to denigrate, in any way, the other poster. Her experience is obviously different than mine. I would explain the difference in that men in the church are expected to be what I described, but, unfortunately, as in all things, there are some who do not live up to that and see any leadership as an opportunity - not to serve - but to dominate. That is not what it is intended for.
