TN - Timothy Reid, 15 mos, dies in hot car, Chattanooga, 1 May 2007

[southcitymom]

OK.. here's what i want to know. did this kind of thing always happen (with the invention of automobiles).. and we just never heard about it, on a national level? or is it really happening more and more? if so, is it happening more just because there are more people, or because people are getting more forgetful? or is it just making it into the news more because the media knows these stories sell?
or.... is it happening more frequently because of climate change.....?

i just don't understand why this is big news all of a sudden (although of course it's terrible when it happens). i don't ever remember hearing news stories of kids being left in cars and dying from the heat back in the 70's, 80's, or even 90's.

These are interesting thoughts, reb. I think we do hear more about this type of stuff (and everything else) just because of the nature of media saturation in today's culture. I also agree that it probably happens more due to more families with two parents in the work force or families with single parents.

Please don't read my thoughts on the subject as excuses. I have often tried to come up with a good idea that could help cut down on these types of senseless accidents, but so far nothing good has come to mind.

 

[AlwaysShocked]

South city: Don't be fooled by the term "accident" and its dictionary definition. google "preventable accident". It is term well known among safety officials and accident investigators.

Many, many "[accidents" are preventable. Surely this one was.

Look closely at the charges against the father.

 

[MagicRose99]

The first definition in my dictionary for accident is "an undesirable or unfortunate happening that occurs unintentionally and usually results in harm, injury, damage, or loss; casualty; mishap." If that doesn't define what happened to this father, I don't know what does.

Accidents, by their very definition, aren't preventable. If the incident had somehow been prevented, it wouldn't be called an accident.

I'm sorry... this isn't an accident... it's an act of stupidity!

I've raised 3 children... the oldest which will be 25 in 2 weeks. Never, not once, have I ever left one of my children in a car at any time. To this day, I get out of the car, look into the car and around (just out of habit) and then I set the alarm and walk away. This is a habit ANY parent gets into. With raising children, you need to make sure you get everything, including the child. After doing it for so many years, I still do it!

I don't care how much you have on your mind, how preoccupied you are, any parent worth their weight is never going to forget their child.

 

[Megs]

I feel badly for this man but I can not comprehend leaving your child in the car for 7 HOURS!... and his INTERIOR alarm was going off - does that not make you think for a second that something might not be right? He has 3 older children and this baby was 15 months - it wasn't like he was "new" at this.....so sad...

 

[Amraann]

I use to feel the way Southcitymom does...
I had sympathy...
But now? not so much..
Sympathy is not an excuse in this case.
I do not think people should have an excuse.
There IS NOTHING more important than your child and "oops I forgot" doesn't get it.
I have never forgotten my child in a car or house or anywhere..
Do a pole and ask the moms here (those with many kids)
You are on constant patrol.

 

[Megs]

I use to feel the way Southcitymom does...
I had sympathy...
But now? not so much..
Sympathy is not an excuse in this case.
I do not think people should have an excuse.
There IS NOTHING more important than your child and "oops I forgot" doesn't get it.
I have never forgotten my child in a car or house or anywhere..
Do a pole and ask the moms here (those with many kids)
You are on constant patrol.

I absolutely agree with moms being on constant patrol - I have a 5 year old and 3 year old twins and I know where they are at all times - and if more than a couple minutes goes by when I can't hear them, I find them and make sure they are doing OK.....BUT my husband on the other hand is very trusting - he thinks that they are old enough to "roam" and it drives me absolutely crazy. I do not understand his thinking - don't know if that is with all men, but most of the moms I know say the same thing. I do know for a fact though that my husband would never do something like this - every time he has the kids by himself I call him and make sure that everything is going ok and that if he did drop them off somewhere that it went ok.....I just don't understand how he didn't have that "nagging" feeling like a poster said above -

 

[shopper]

I'm sorry, but how in the world do you leave your child in the car??? These stories always blow my mind. How does this happen? How do you not drop your kid off, how do you walk into work and go about your day? How do you not have that nagging feeling that you forgot to do something?
Why don't these people wonder why they got to work early? Uh, maybe they missed a damn spot along the way.........................

Did this child not cry? At 15 months old my son would cry. Did no one going out for lunch in the afternoon hear or notice this child? Did Mommy never talk to Daddy that morning about daycare? (I always call my husband on my way to work after I drop my son off and he'll ask me how Bobby was, ie, did he cry when I dropped him off, was he in a good mood)

Seriously, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE????

These people are parents who could be mentally and physically exhausted, who have something heavy weighing on their minds and aren't perfect. You think it makes you sick and angry? I'm sure it doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how the parents feel.

 

[TGIRecovered]

If the father went out to the car several times during the day to silence the motion alarm, it seems to me that sooner or later he would have wondered what was continually setting it off and actually look inside the vehicle. I think it would be strange if he didn't.

If it took motion to set off the alarm, the baby would have had to be alive and probably crying and kicking to set it off, so the chances to find him alive probably happened very early in the day...later if he was dead then no movement, no alarm, right?

Maybe the fact that they have actually charged him with a crime indicates suspicion on the part of the investigators that the father may have eventually noticed the "sleeping" child and elected to leave him alone rather than wake the baby and leave work to drive him to daycare.

I know that sounds like a stupid thing to do, but some people just don't get how dangerous it is and don't take safety warnings seriously. I am always way more careful about things like that than my husband, which is why I would have definitly called to make sure all went well with dropping off the kids!

Not blaming the mom here, it is the dad who was negligent, unless he had a history of being careless and she knew it.

The alarm going off repeatedly makes me wonder. Is dad telling the whole story?

Susan

 

[Sundayrain]

The first definition in my dictionary for accident is "an undesirable or unfortunate happening that occurs unintentionally and usually results in harm, injury, damage, or loss; casualty; mishap." If that doesn't define what happened to this father, I don't know what does.

Accidents, by their very definition, aren't preventable. If the incident had somehow been prevented, it wouldn't be called an accident.

Southcitymom........I understand in everyway but not with the life of a child. I have never angered over an "accident".....spilling things, breaking a loved vase, or a grand cooking dish with lid ......( just happened, didn't say a word........but, Ok, and "alright".......I've never angered over car " accidents".....spills and falls and missed calls or .......everything and anything that can go in a "accident" phrase.
But, you have to admit........this is more then an accident. I am sure the father is beside himself in pure grief.........It would just about kill me........
When there is a child in the car.......and he had a few at one point.......there is no accident of forgetting one or two........
It was a hot day........you'd look back to make sure all is well before you'd leave that car. I just can't place the word accident on this.........
All the accidents I forgive, and give no thought too. For when its done its done.....my Mom said......." like crying over spilt milk"........
No one in this day and age.......hearing these horror stories .........should forget their child. And........for that matter a dog.
I leave messages on cars for people who leave dogs....
I stay by a car for people who leave children, to see if they barely return in the nick of time.
I have to.........and believe me one time is still horendous in my mind.
Two small children locked up while the " nanny" in her high heels shopped.
( swear could not have been a mother, and she took her time placing things in the trunk, before getting to the two small tikes)........I personally won't wait that long again ....ever, ever.........It bothers me to this day that I kept waiting for the return of this woman. I knew shortly I'd have to go in the store ( no phone on me at the time)......
Little cheeks turning red, hugging each other.....small girl and boy.
I hate to be someone who is turning another person in.........but, it bothers me that I didn't do that right away. Since then, with the stories that are out there, I'd know better..........
I hope this father can come to peace with this.....it has to be the worst tragic happening in his life........

 

[Amraann]

I absolutely agree with moms being on constant patrol - I have a 5 year old and 3 year old twins and I know where they are at all times - and if more than a couple minutes goes by when I can't hear them, I find them and make sure they are doing OK.....BUT my husband on the other hand is very trusting - he thinks that they are old enough to "roam" and it drives me absolutely crazy. I do not understand his thinking - don't know if that is with all men, but most of the moms I know say the same thing. I do know for a fact though that my husband would never do something like this - every time he has the kids by himself I call him and make sure that everything is going ok and that if he did drop them off somewhere that it went ok.....I just don't understand how he didn't have that "nagging" feeling like a poster said above -

Its with all men...
Your kids are young.. LOL I felt exactly the same way
Trust me, it will be ok

 

[Sundayrain]

I use to feel the way Southcitymom does...
I had sympathy...
But now? not so much..
Sympathy is not an excuse in this case.
I do not think people should have an excuse.
There IS NOTHING more important than your child and "oops I forgot" doesn't get it.
I have never forgotten my child in a car or house or anywhere..
Do a pole and ask the moms here (those with many kids)
You are on constant patrol.

Totally agree Amraann...........I have never forgotten a child, or someone elses child........How can you forget your loved child, or someones dear child is with you......its totally brainless.....something is missing somewhere......and the alarm kept going off, and you don't check inside the window.......strange, strange......of course you would.
Just had that happen last weekend to a lady at the grocery store......we looked inside, outside.......everywhich way to figure how to stop it.
Doesn't add up here at all.........Poor, poor baby...it makes me just sick...

 

[southcitymom]

These people are parents who could be mentally and physically exhausted, who have something heavy weighing on their minds and aren't perfect. You think it makes you sick and angry? I'm sure it doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how the parents feel.

And so shines a kind thought in a weary world...

 

[southcitymom]

I hear everyone who blames the father, but when I read what we know about this, the only thought I have is "there but for the grace of God go I."

Perhaps if I were more perfect, more vigilant, more immune to the pressures of raising a family in conjunction with everything else, I wouldn't feel this way.

I don't believe that in a million years I could ever forget my child and leave them in a car for hours; but can I imagine it happening - you bet your a$$ I can. I don't even have to stretch very far to get there.

 

[southcitymom]

No. Sorry. I have very little sympathy for the EXCUSE of this type of behavior being a "symptom of our society".

Come off it! You FORGOT that you had your CHILD in the car with you? You FORGOT that you were supposed to take that child to daycare?

I AGREE, where was the mother of the child, calling the father to find out if he did, in fact, drop the child off at daycare.

WHAT IN GOD'S NAME could this father have had on his mind that was so important that he FORGOT that he had a small child in his care?

No! The fact that this is happening "more and more" means it needs to be looked at and addressed for what it is. Intentional? Probably not.
Negligence? Absolutely! Folks, if this is NOT negligence, WHAT IS?

"Just an accident?" Accidents are PREVENTABLE! This poor child's death was PREVENTABLE!


Herre's an article about this incident:
http://www.newschannel9.com/articles/police_11893___article.html/car_child.html

NewsChannel 9 has learned that a motion detector sounded an alarm several times yesterday before a father found his son's lifeless body inside his 2002 BMW. Robert Reid faces charges of criminally negligent homicide and aggravated child abuse and neglect. Police say Reid dropped off his older children at a local school but failed to drop off his youngest child at daycare. It was seven hours later when Reid found the boy unresponsive in his car. Lt. Tim Carroll with the Chattanooga Police Dept. says that apparently Reid's car, like many BMW's, is equipped with an interior motion alarm. Lt. Carroll said, "You forget to pick up a gallon of milk. You forget an appointment. But you do not forget that you have a 15-month old in the back of a car."

Lt. Carroll said the motion alarm was activated in Reid's car several times yesterday and the father apparently used his remote entry device to silence the alarm. The 15-month-old baby was pronounced dead at the scene. Police said the temperature in the car reached 142 degrees.

The link published here is followed by a number of comments from people who know/work with these parents and say they are excellent loving responsible parents. Some other opinions as well - including someone who believes this father murdered his child "cleverly" - but interesting reading nonetheless.

 

[angelmom]

So sad...I cannot imagine the grief of this family knowing that this was totally preventable. My mom used to tell me that if something happened to us while she had us my dad would never forgive her. I always thought she was being melodramatic...til I had kids.

I think the rise in these deaths is a combination of things. More women going back to work, for sure. I mean, when I was little, my mom worked also, but she worked nights and weekends. They only had one car, and took turns using it. One of them was always with me, so leaving me in the car wasn't really an option.

Also, even when I was in the car, I wasn't buckled into a car seat. I opened the car door as a toddler at least once while the car was moving (I still remember the spanking!), so I feel certain that I would have done so had I been left in a hot car. It would be harder to forget a child who was climbing around the front seat with you, as I usually was, than one strapped into a car seat in the back zoning out to a Barney DVD.

Still, this isn't a new danger. In college I worked at a daycare center in the summer with their school aged kids. I drove the van when we went on field trips, and the rules about checking the van after were very strict. I was neurotic about it, because a child had died when she fell asleep on the way back from a field trip in the back of a daycare van, and no one noticed. They miscounted in the classroom and didn't realize she was missing for about an hour. She was already dead by the time they found her. I had nightmares about it. This was in the '80s.

I don't know what I think about charging this dad. I have mixed feelings. Is there any worse punishment? What about the surviving children? But he absolutely was negligent. I don't know. It's awful. That poor baby.

 

[shopper]

I hear everyone who blames the father, but when I read what we know about this, the only thought I have is "there but for the grace of God go I."

Perhaps if I were more perfect, more vigilant, less immune to the pressures of raising a family in conjunction with everything else, I wouldn't feel this way.

I don't believe that in a million years I could ever forget my child and leave them in a car for hours; but can I imagine it happening - you bet your a$$ I can. I don't even have to stretch very far to get there.

Exactly Southcitymom. I NEVER, ever condemn people when things like this happen, (unless there is proven past neglect or abuse). I doubt very seriously that this man decided that this morning he'd just not bother to be an attentive parent. It was not an intentional act, it was an accident. And yes, IMO an accident is an accident is an accident. (Not saying that at you, just addressing a post I saw above.)

But for the grace of God go I, indeed. No one can feel any worse than this father and it scares and saddens me that some people can just be so judgmental when NO ONE on this earth is perfect, 100% of the time, for their entire life. Some people should count their blessings that nothing bad happened to them those times their guard was down for a moment, instead of bashing a parent who wasn't as lucky.

 

[southcitymom]

....Also, even when I was in the car, I wasn't buckled into a car seat. I opened the car door as a toddler at least once while the car was moving (I still remember the spanking!), so I feel certain that I would have done so had I been left in a hot car. It would be harder to forget a child who was climbing around the front seat with you, as I usually was, than one strapped into a car seat in the back zoning out to a Barney DVD.....

This is an excellent point that I'd never considered. Same for me and my sisters growing up - no seatbelts.

A one-year-old couldn't do it, but my kids could unbuckle themselves from about 2 on. Even now, when we turn into our neighborhood, they're out of their seats and bouncing around the car - which bothers my husband a bit, but not me.

Plus my kids talk constantly and would scream bloody murder if I left them in the car. Of course, I'm sure the infant in this case was asleep - or being very quiet.

In the few cases that I've followed like this where a parent was charged, the parent was never given jail time or anything like that (maybe probation - as if a parent would need something like that to help them remember an incident I am sure no parent would never fully recover from or forget as long as they lived) if there were no extenuating circumstances and no background of them being anything other than a decent parent.

Based on what I've read, I'm sure the man in this case won't spend any time in jail. That would just be cruel and uncommon.

 

[concernedperson]

Never in a million years could I leave a child in a car unattended. I can't even stand to see a pet unattended. This man ,if he forgot, has his priorities mixed up and shouldn't have ever become a father. No job is more importent than your children.

 

[southcitymom]

Never in a million years could I leave a child in a car unattended. I can't even stand to see a pet unattended. This man ,if he forgot, has his priorities mixed up and shouldn't have ever become a father. No job is more importent than your children.

By all accounts, this a deeply religious man who was devoted to his wife and four children and who has managed to help raise three of those children well for the past 12 years. I suspect those who love, cherish and depend on him today may have a different viewpoint of him becoming a father.

I too can't stand to see a pet or a child unattended in a car, particularly on a hot day. I'll bet this father couldn't stand to see a child left unattended in a car. That's kind of the point - he didn't see the child left unattended.

 

[LovingTheChaos]

By all accounts, this a deeply religious man who was devoted to his wife and four children and who has managed to help raise three of those children well for the past 12 years. I suspect those who love, cherish and depend on him today may have a different viewpoint of him becoming a father.

I too can't stand to see a pet or a child unattended in a car, particularly on a hot day. I'll bet this father couldn't stand to see a child left unattended in a car. That's kind of the point - he didn't see the child left unattended.

SSM - Every time I read one of these, my heart sinks. As a parent, of 3 babies in car seats, I have had this fear myself. None of my kids slept through the night until they were 18 months old, so I have been going through sleep depravation for about 4 years now. Between being exhausted, stressed out, you name it, I find myself doing dumb little things all the time. Every time I get in my hot car, I think about the poor babies who this has happened to. I feel only pure pity for these parents & their babies. Also, as a parent, I think I can say that the father probably feels like any punishment the authorities can dish out will not be any worse than what he is going through right now. I would personally want to die, I don't think I would survive if I accidently caused the death of any of my children.