On the ID channel Stalked Show, the Psychologist who narrates the show says "The one way to escalate a stalker to violent status (paraphrase) is get word their victim of obsession is dating someone."
Travis situation with Jodi would be on that show. She said 3 million are stalked every year including herself. Even though not all end in death but some do. (Travis)
Scarey. The laws and law enforcement do not do enough at the early point to help victims to stop them in some states. California have the strongest laws for stalking because of celebrities. The rest of the 49 have varied pathetic versions.
I was stalked before any laws were around in fact before the word "stalked" were in use (1973). Nothing were available to me for help other than move.
It was just a horrible feeling to know that another human being could invade you life and nothing can be done except "move".
I attempted to handle it not knowing anything about stalking, the way they are and in the end he attacked me/raping me. (1973)
Stalking is so serious as serious as abuse. After my experience, I consider stalking a form of abuse. I felt abused, invaded, controlled, isolated, and down right pissed off. If that made sense.
Thank you for let me share my story.
(((carnnell))) I'm so sorry. And so grateful for your courage.
Stalking is still very hard to charge. My local police chief told me they couldn't do anything unless he physically harmed me. He tried to once (threw a car seat at my face at close range) but it didn't leave a mark.
What he did to me psychologically, financially, personally, is what I call torture. All legal because he was a spouse or former spouse. Had he been a stranger I could have taken him to court for numerous things. I got a TRO - which he laughed at. He destroyed me. Almost completely. It makes no sense because I have no physical 'scars' but I have been absolutely affected physically.
I would shake when I saw his car come down the driveway. During the divorce I would nearly crash if I passed a car like his (usually it was his)... and even now I startle when I see that car. He used my children against me, and played the courts like a fiddle. His only priorities were his *ahem*, his wallet and his control. I can't even bring myself to describe what he did in detail. I learned what it meant to be a target - on every level of rage, abuse (physical on my children - which I think he did because he knew that would hurt me more than if he'd done it to me... if I didn't comply - he'd punish or harm THEM. Okay I can't say any more on this. I reached out to a battered women's shelter - they showed me the door. That really, really hurt. I had proof, evidence, recordings, police reports, just not a mark on my body. And he knew not to leave marks on my kid - not one that would last. She had a 'safe word' and used it.
Okay I can barely type now. I just wanted to say thank you and know you're not alone here - there are many survivors here of different histories, tragedies and pain, but there is strength in community and I think it's why many of us are drawn to being so passionate about victims - even those we've never met...
I'm shaking now... it still hasn't left me. He's in a lull now, thank goodness. For the first time in almost 2 decades.But part of his MO was to keep me off guard - always. To the point where every moment of my life was spent dealing with obstructions, changes, false emergencies, false schedules, tormented children... just trying to regroup. I still have trouble using or hearing a phone ring (I scare other people with my yelps and startling jumps) and I have trouble leaving the house or answering the door. I used to be a fit, competent supermom (so others said) and now... ugh. Sorry. I meant to give you support and ended up selfishly talking about myself. I'm so sorry.
He was the first person I'd ever met who is without conscience. When I finally realized such people even existed, it terrified me even more. He's not on the level of JA, but he's close enough. His obsession was destroying me - not ending my (physical) life. Just everything else. And he succeeded .
I can't imagine enduring a physical, brutal attack as you have - and yes, 'back then' it was even worse for victims (women in general). It hasn't come far enough. Not nearly enough.
I hope you're doing better - I pray for better laws sooner rather than later.