UK - 29 yr old grandfather "overjoyed" when 14 yr old daughter gives birth

[Missizzy]

I don't know the answer. Here in the states, I believe that DHS would be involved to make certain that the infant's needs were met. The newborn's needs would come first. I've advocated for some very young mothers (14, 15 and 16) who were removed from their homes and placed in foster care along with their infants, when their families were unable to prove that they could emotionally support the mother and infant appropriately. The homes they went into were a sort of mentoring home where the girls were taught parenting skills (the fathers were included too if available) and where they could finish their education.

In this situation, I would imagine that a social worker must be involved to ensure that all is safe and healthy. I'll be watching to see if there are any updates. IMO, though, this entire situation should have stayed confidential. The 14 and 15 year olds are children after all.

 

[Trident]

It seems in the nanny state, where they're monitoring 14, 15, and 16 year-old parents, the older one who actually abuse, neglect, and murder their children are getting a pass - even when children's services are called.

 

[Missizzy]

I'm not sure I understand your comment, Trident. The young mothers I've worked with have desperately needed the help. They've either been in foster care or sadly neglected or kicked out of their family of origin. Rather than trying to talk a young girl into adoption (as often happened in the past) most states are doing everything they can to bring about a positive outcome. The specialized foster families who are offering this care can make a huge difference. The girls need guidance and love and their education. The babies need gentle and skilled mothers. The foster family kind of steps into a grandparent type role. I've seen some wonderful successes.

In this case, it looks as if the grandparents are standing ready to help and we can be hopeful.

 

[not_my_kids]

With all due respect, I'd like to point out a few things about the difference between producing physiologically functional offspring, and being able to produce healthy children from a healthy mother at a very young age. I got pregnant at 16, I weighed 95 pounds pre-pregnancy. That was my normal weight, not due to malnourishment, I was just very small boned, and small in general. My daughter was perfectly healthy when she was born...a VERY healthy 9 lbs, 1oz to be exact. I on the other hand had ballooned to 180pounds, not healthy, even during pregnancy, most if it due to water retention and swelling from high blood pressure, caused by the pregnancy. Since my bones were not set fully yet, and were still soft, my rib cage was horribly bulged out on the side where she liked to sit the most while I was pregnant. They still are, they always will be, and I have had a condition caused by that rib deformity called costachondritis with every pregnancy since. It isn't dangerous, but man, does it hurt. My hips and back are permanently damaged, both from the same fact that my bones had not set, and therefore, set improperly while I was pregnant. Since I could not get enough calcium to support two growing bodies, my calcium all went to the baby, and my teeth began to rot. I will be 26 years old with full dentures and it has been 5 years of agony and antibiotic pills to fight the constant infections from the rotting teeth, which never recovered. I have severe hip displasia, and in the process of having my daughter, I bled out my entire blood volume, plus additional units of blood that the doctors were pumping into me, trying to stop the hemmorhage. I also recieved the only three way episiotomy that I have ever heard of, and had so much scar tissue inside my uterus that the doctors said I would never have any more children. They were wrong on that count, I have gone on to carry four more healthy children to term. (Induction with number five is on Monday, YAY).
Should we listen to our bodies, yes, of course. Should we listen to them when we are still very young and they encourage us to do nothing but eat, sleep, and procreate? No.